So, after last week's episode I have noticed a lot of people's broken hearts over Erica's (supposed? We saw her body, but we thought Peter was dead too at first) death. Some of my RP friends were really down, and I remember the look on Stiles' face when he asked Isaac if he remembered actually saying he saw Erica's body, and I just thought Pack Mom Stiles must be hurting too. Personally, Erica wasn't one of my favorites, but I still found her pretty cool, the only chick in pack full of dudes. So, I decided to write some closure between now and next week's episodes.

This is not Beta'd and was written really quick, so if you have a problem with it then just don't read it, I really don't want to hear your hate, thanks.

This does have a character death it, obviously, and some angst. Just know that you have been warned.

Also, spoiler warning for season 3. And I refuse to acknowledge Cora's presence until I know more about her, and it may sound bad, but I really don't like her already.

It's kind of a song fic to The Band Perry's If I Die Young, also kinda not. You'll see.

~**TW**~

Derek had warned Stiles what exactly was entailed when he agreed to be the Alpha's Mate, yes, capital letters and all. And Stiles had agreed whole heartedly, even after he was told of the consequences, he was so ready for the overdue position. And he did notice the changes, especially when it came to the other members of the pack, the pups. The urges to protect and defend, as well as nurture and love were already there before Derek mated with him, they were just amplified into something more maternal.

Stiles had already cooked, cleaned, did laundry for the pack, even washing Derek's underwear. So the new bond that ebbed constantly between him and the Alpha didn't change much in that aspect, he was just up graded from doing it as something to do while the wolves were out tracking something down and/or killing it, to House Mom. And where he had been helping Scott out with school and his grades for years, he now did the same for Isaac, Erica, and Boyd.

They would come to Derek's new loft after school, sit around the breakfast bar in the kitchen with their books and homework out, while Stiles would hop back and forth from joining them and helping them out with stuff they may have a problem with, to mixing or chopping something that will go with whatever he popped in the stove for dinner. Derek would sometimes be there when they walked in, reading something on the couch or looking something up on his laptop, but he was instantly drop whatever he was doing to meet Stiles at the door with kiss hello and a soft smile he only reserved for his mate. Stiles would then have to beat off wondering hands while playing Pack Mom as Derek stood right behind him at all times while he was in the kitchen, though he would have to hide a smile the entire time, especially when Derek always looked like Stiles had just denied him sweets as he pushed the wolf away.

The first time Isaac called Stiles mom it was an accident. Stiles had stayed over at the loft with Derek one night, not on purpose; they were researching Lydia's immunity (even though she said she didn't really care to know why exactly she wasn't a wolf now). Stiles had felt it was his friendly duty to get answers, that and it was killing him not knowing, so he roped Derek into it too since he knew more about Alpha bites than his human mate. Stiles was curled up against Derek while he was going through some Were-lore on his laptop, the Alpha's body heat seeping into his back and instantly making him feel comfortable and fuzzy, maybe too comfortable, because not an hour later Stiles was asleep.

Derek just gave a small smile and fished in Stiles' pocket for his phone, he texted the Sheriff (who knew about them and the pack's furry little secret due to Stiles' pestering Derek to let him tell his dad) saying that Stiles might be home late, of not then he headed over to Scott's for the night (They told the Sheriff about them, they weren't really to tell him everything they did). Soon though, fatigue and the fact that his mate was so close to him right now lulled Derek into a slumber as well.

Hours later, after the half moon was high in the dark sky, but not early enough for it to start to lighten, Stiles stirred awake. He as sweating, after somehow being pinned to the mattress under Derek's weight, the heat coming off the wolf that was comforting earlier now felt like a full blast of a furnace. Carefully removing the Alpha's heavy arm from off him, he slipped out of bed successfully without waking Derek. Walking a few feet away to the kitchen, he filled a glass of water to deal with his parched throat. Standing there, Stiles got a little lost in his sleep fogged thoughts by starting out of the huge windows of the loft, it looked peaceful enough out there, the unsuspecting citizens of Beacon Hills sleeping soundly in their homes, Stiles snorted thinking about yelling "You're welcome!" out of one them.

He was just playing with the thought of heading back into bed with Derek when the screaming started. They were coming from the second half of loft, up the spiral stairs where Isaac's room was. Derek sprang up in bed at the sound, only sparing a split second to find Stiles' eyes in the kitchen and not next to him, before hurling over to the stairs, taking them three at a time. Admittedly, it had taken Stiles a little longer to finally get what exactly he was hearing, he dropped the glass ignoring the shatter resonating on the floor, before he found himself trying really hard not to tip going up the stairs after Derek.

When he finally got to Isaac's room, panting due to exertion and adrenaline, he saw Derek literally fighting Isaac, trying to pin to the bed to cease his thrashing. Isaac looked to be awake, but the stench of fear was so pungent that even Stiles swore he could smell with his human senses. Derek was trying to talk to the pup but it didn't seem like it getting through, Isaac's eyes whirled around like he searching for something, desperate for it as he cried out to get out of Derek's hold as he muttered something too soft for the human to hear. But when Stiles walked in, Isaac's eyes froze on him, stilling completely,"Mom." He rasped out, tears leaking from his eye, never looking away from Stiles. That made Derek let go, looking curiously from his pup to his mate.

Stiles looked around him, making sure it was indeed him Isaac was talking about, not someone behind him, "Me?"

When Isaac held a hand out to him, the most heart breaking look on his face, Stiles knew he couldn't deny the poor pup anymore. Nodding slightly to Derek to let him know it was okay, he stepped forwards, arranging himself next to Isaac before the young wolf immediately curled up against him like a babe to its mother, clinging to Stiles as if he were to disappear any moment. Stiles was pretty sure his face mirrored Derek's utterly shocked one when Isaac started to chant "Mom" softly against his chest, but Stiles didn't comment. He just shushed Isaac as he rocked them, carding his hands through soft, curly hair.

And from that moment on, Stiles was Mom.

Isaac wasn't the only one. When Stiles pulled Erica out of the way of some on coming Wolfsbane arrows from some rough hunters, his hands immediately going to her face to check if she was okay, her hands circled around his wrists with a roll of her eyes. "God, Mom, I'm fine, alright? Take a chill pill." But there was soft smile on her face about it.

When Stiles noticed Boyd was staying later at the ice rink saving up for a car of his own, but was coming home later and exhausted, he met Boyd in the kitchen one night when he came to loft late to a meeting with homemade cookies and hot chocolate just for Boyd while the pack was in the living room. "Thanks, Mom." He nodded, a rare smile on the pup's face as he took the plate from Stiles, a pat on the on the human's back.

Even Scott had a moment when he a Derek were in heated argument, eyes glowing and claws itching to come out. Stiles came out of kitchen and bopped Scott's head with the spoon he was using to stir noodles with, telling Scott to cut it out and listen to Derek because Scott was being an idiot. Scott just winced like a wooden spoon could hurt a werewolf, and looked down dejectedly, "Yes, Mom." Though that had Scott, Stiles, and Derek's eyes widen. "I-I mean, uh, Stiles." Scott tried to back track, a small blush coloring his cheeks.

Even though Isaac was really the only one that didn't have actual parents around anymore, they all just started calling Stiles mom on their own, yes, even Scott after that first time too. What really made Stiles laugh though, was when they called Derek dad. In the beginning he could tell it kinda pissed off the Alpha, but Derek soon took it as a term of affection. So together, Stiles and Derek were mom and dad of their pack. Their family.

It was a great little set up they had going on, and Stiles and Derek fell more and more in love with each other every day. It made Stiles wonder if is what it would really be like if he and Derek were to raise a family together some day. Their kids would have awesome aunt and uncles, that's for sure. Especially with Erica and Boyd going out, and Scott finally pulling his head out of Allison's ass and recognized the way Isaac looked at him. Stiles told Derek he'd have to give to pups "The Talk" when they heard some mentally scarring sounds coming from Isaac's room one day, and then Isaac and Scott came down a while later with messy hair and flushed on their cheeks. Derek just rolled his eyes and sacked Stiles' thigh where they were sitting together on the couch. Stiles just smiled brightly and kissed Derek's cheek, settling down against the Alpha, settling down into this life.

But there was one thing Stiles has learned the hard way, just when you think you have this whole "Life" thing figured out, Life will turn you around and make you its bitch.

It started when Boyd and Erica left, Stiles was distraught. His maternal instincts were thrashed when the Alpha Mate's pups walked out the door. It enraged him in such a way that he was sure had he been a wolf he would have gone on a murderous rampage, he would do anything to get them back. It made it worse when Derek told him and Scott about the Alpha Pack, not only that, but the Alpha Pack had Erica and Boyd. Derek, Peter, and Isaac searched all summer for them, Stiles was left in an empty loft with no pups and no Alpha to look after. His instincts were eating him alive, wrecked with worry, torn by anger, and filled to the brim with guilt. If he and Derek had paid more attention to Erica and Boyd, if they had seen the problems first, then their pups wouldn't be in danger.

When Isaac got hurt and emitted into the hospital do to the Alpha Pack that's when all hell broke loose.

Four months of pent up feeling and frustration led Stiles to go off on Derek. Stiles was the one Melissa called when she couldn't get a hold of Derek, telling him of Isaac's predicament. Stiles didn't go see Isaac right away, trusting Melissa to look after him, and focused on finding Derek too. It wasn't until he came back to the loft, stopping by to check again before going to go see Isaac, did he see said Alpha and pup there. Stiles saw red, he walked right up to Derek and slapped him, granted it do anything to the wolf, and it made Stiles' hand hurt like hell but he felt better about it. He started ranting about how stupid it was to send Isaac out there when the Alpha Pack already had two of their pups, pounding on Derek's chest with fists that will surly bruise later, but that didn't deter him. He had months of fear and anger and guilt to get out, and Derek…Derek just stood there and took it. Like a brick wall of muscle taking everything Stiles had to give, like he knew Stiles needed this. Eventually, Stiles' legs just gave out, his body spent of all the emotions it had just rolled and squeezed out like a tube of tooth paste. Derek, ever the attentive wolf, caught Stiles before he hit the ground, holding him close as Stiles sobbed, sobbed because he had nothing left to give right now.

When Stiles awoke the next day, he found himself in his bed at his dad's, Derek must have dropped him off there. His nose and mouth felt like they were stuffed with cotton, his eyes were lead heavy, and his hands felt like someone had spent hours doing the Mexican Hat Dance on them. He remembered his all out screaming match with Derek, more like at Derek since Derek just stood there silently. The Alpha must have dropped him off at home once he passed out; not thinking Stiles would want anything to do with him, which just added to Stiles' guilt. He knew he had no right taking all out on Derek, knowing Derek he was already taking all this out on himself.

They didn't really talk much after that, and aside from going to Derek with help about Scott's mysteriously disappearing tattoo, they hadn't seen much of each other either. Derek was waiting for Stiles to make the first move, and Stiles was waiting for…well, Stiles didn't exactly know what he was waiting for. For all this be a nightmare? For him to wake up and their little patch work family to be whole again? When Scott passed out while Derek was freaking burning his tattoo back on to his skin, being so close to Derek ignited his instincts again, the Alpha Mate was in the same room as the Alpha again after such a prolonged separation. But the thought of their missing pups kind of shot those feelings down and brought the maternal ones back up, it was easier to think like a mother than a mate right now, even though it hurt more. To Stiles, that was his tattoo over his heart, his open wound.

The next time Stiles saw Derek it was at Deaton's office, standing over a tub of ice and water across from Derek and Scott while Isaac hooked his shirt off over his head. His head was still reeling with what he had almost done at Heather's party, what he almost done with Heather, and therefore, to him and Derek. He didn't know why he agreed, his emotions were too skewed all over the place for him to make reasonable decisions. It felt like Derek knew, he wouldn't look Stiles in the eye the whole time he and Scott waited for Isaac to step in the tub. That could be part of Derek giving him space and Stiles' guilty conscious getting to him, or it could really be that Derek knew what he almost did and Stiles had just ruined everything. And to top it all off, Isaac, his last pup that he knew was still alive and safe had to risk his life by almost stopping his heart to get his memories back. Stiles swore he was about to have an aneurism any moment, but he still held Isaac's legs down as instructed. This was so going against all his instincts; he was pretty sure holding the person you saw as your child underwater till they gave up was not a nurturing act.

It seemed to go fine, Isaac hadn't died, he was remembering little by little as Deaton went, though there was some thrashing around for things he didn't want to remember. Stiles even met Derek's eyes over the somewhat hypnotized pup, and he held it before Derek started jumping the gun over Deaton's instructions not to talk. It wasn't until Isaac said he saw Erica's body that Stiles felt as it were him the tub of ice. He let go of Isaac, backing away slowing and shaking his head. No, no, no, no, Stiles refused to believe it, Isaac didn't even remember he said it when he sat up, stepping out of the tub and into a towel. He felt his breathing speeding up when he hit a wall with his back, Derek rushed over, Stiles could see him but couldn't hear him over the blood pounding in his ears. Erica wasn't dead; she couldn't be…that… Stiles refused to believe it. Derek cupped Stiles' cheeks with his hands, thumbing away the tears steadily streaming down his face. His hearing came to at the sound of Derek telling him to breath, and the constant murmur of his own voice repeating "No" over and over again.

Stiles wouldn't let go of Derek after that, his body felt like auto pilot, and the Alpha Mate instincts took over and only trusted the Alpha at the moment. Though he did come back to himself when Derek told him he had to stay in the loft with Peter while he and Scott went to the bank. Stiles of course threw a fit, in the midst of his unconfirmed grief the last person he wanted to be around was Peter. But Derek just cupped Stiles' face again and promised that he would bring their pups home. He knew Derek was fighting dirty when he appealed to the Alpha Mate because he knew the human would say hell no to that. In the end, Stiles alternated between pacing in front of the huge windows and going over the bank's blue prints again, Peter watching him from his lounged position on the couch the whole time. Another evening with the in-law, and Stiles was sick of it within five minutes of it; dread was filling his stomach with acid making him sick.

He could feel it as soon as Derek, Boyd, and Scott walked through the front door, after their unfortunate miscommunication about the bank vault's walls. Boyd walked in first, and Stiles all but threw himself at him pup, checking him over and making sure he wasn't more than just worse for wear. Scott came in behind Boyd, and aside from the blood on his face he looked healed up enough that he'd live, but Stiles checked him over too just in case. It wasn't until Derek came in carrying something wrapped in a bloodstained white sheet that Stiles felt his stomach drop. He didn't even have to ask what it was as he came up to Derek, tears already working their way down his face, knew. He knew it was Erica.

Derek laid her down on the couch gently as if she were made of glass, and stood back into the ring of wolves that circled around the living room. Stiles kneed by the couch, reaching out with a shaky hand and pulled the sheet back. He was use to Erica being so full of life, an ever present smirk on her face, and mischief in her eyes, blonde hair swaying lovely. What he saw was Erica, but then again it wasn't. He saw pasty pale skin, unhealed wounds along it, blood matted in dull blond hair, the eyes were closed but Stiles was sure they'd be foggy and unfocused. This was nothing but the shell of Erica Reyes.

There was a whine next to him and Stiles saw Boyd next to him, reaching out to trail the back of his knuckle against a cold, lifeless cheek of the Erica shell. Stiles could see tears gathering at the corner of his eyes, like Boyd was holding off, trying to be strong. But Boyd had been so strong for so long, especially these last few months, he could afford to let go for a little while. Stiles placed a hand on Boyd's shoulder, drawing the pup's gaze to him, with a small nod it was like Stiles had giving him silent permission, and Boyd let go. His forehead hit the human's shoulder, hands coming around to fist in the material in the back of Stiles' hoodie, and he cried. The pack held one more puppy pile on the floor below the couch, they would deal with telling Erica's parents and funeral plans tomorrow, but just for the night, they had one more pile for Erica. One last time before they had to say good bye.

Stiles called his dad first thing in the morning; it proved just how much of an attentive father John Stilinski was when he knew something was up just from the tone of Stile' voice after saying "Hi, Dad". The Sheriff then drove to the Reyes' and let them know that they found their daughter's body in the woods; it looked like an animal attack.

Derek Hale had found her when she didn't show up to a party that Isaac Lehay had invited her too. Scott McCall, Lehay's boyfriend, called Stiles Stilinski if Erica was with him, Stiles said no, who then called his own boyfriend, Derek Hale, for help. Derek found her body, and then proceeded to call the police, and the Sheriff got there first with Stiles in the cruisers' passenger seat.

That was their story, that was the story of how Erica Reyes' body was found in the paper. That was the story that didn't do Erica Reyes' real story of her death any justice.

A few days before the funeral, Stiles was up on the couch, knees pulled towards his chest, eyes red, nose puffy, watching Batman Returns. It was his and Erica's favorite movie; she was always the Catwoman to his Batman. He knew it was a masochistic move, but he had been around people ever since Derek brought Erica back home, playing Pack Mom again to a grieving pack, keeping a cool head, holding everyone together when he was crumbling inside too. But tonight he had the house to himself as his dad was out with a squad looking for the "animal" that killed Erica. He needed two hours to let himself break before he had to pick the pieces back up in the morning for everyone else.

The Penguin had just discovered his real name when the door bell rang. Stiles groaned, pausing the movie, of course he couldn't have two hours, what was he thinking? Wiping his cheeks with the sleeve of his red hoodie, he opened the door, probably a stupid move not checking who it is since there was a rouge Alpha Pack out there, but at the moment they could go fuck themselves.

He was surprised to see Boyd there, that instantly sent his mood in a whole 180. Stiles didn't think about it when he pulled Boyd into a clinging hug, and Boyd obviously wasn't complaining since he was hugging Stiles back. When Stiles pulled back he had wipe the tears off his face again, and wasn't surprised to see Boyd do it too, the pack was clinging to each other really tight lately, it was very rare now to not see Isaac and Scott cuddling somewhere. When Stiles invited the pup in Boyd just shook his head, said he had somewhere to be, but wanted to drop something off with Stiles, something he was sure Erica would have wanted Stiles to have. He pulled out a black and pink book that looked well worn; upon farther investigation Stiles saw it was a diary. Erica's diary. Stiles insisted that he couldn't take it, that Boyd or even Erica's parents should have it.

Boyd just took Stiles' hand and placed the diary in it before saying, "Stiles, you were her mother." He said it so resolutely, so profoundly that Stiles had no choice to bring the diary to his chest and hug it tightly. With a nod after watching the action, Boyd turned and left without another word.

He brought the diary back to the living room with him, and dropped it on the coffee table like it was suddenly on fire. He couldn't read it now, no. He had to mentally prepare himself for that, he'd watch the rest of Batman, and if he wasn't emotionally wrecked then he'd read the first page. Pushing play he settled back against the couch, but throughout the duration of the movie he couldn't stop looking at the seemingly innocent diary in front of him. When Catwoman was dying the sewers Stiles had to call it quits, that Catwoman died, his Catwoman died, that's just a no all around. He shut off the TV, throwing the remote somewhere he probably wouldn't be able to find later, he looked back at the diary. Better get this over with.

Grabbing the diary, he looked over the cover first, it was black with a hot pink ivy design over it. That was about as special as it got, other than it looked well used, Stiles wondered how long Erica had it. Taking a few calming breaths, he finally opened it, and was met with Erica's neat loopy writing. He almost broke down at her hand writing alone, something he thought he'd never see again. On the inside of the cover was a drawn triskelion made up of everyone in the pack's names. Stiles gave small smile at it, if Erica held this diary close to her heart it was nice to know that she held all them close too. Funny, seeing that gave him confidence to read the first page, and though the triskelion was something new to her life, the first page was about school last year before she was changed.

It talked about how lonely she felt, how much she hated her body and the seizures that wrecked it. That alone was almost enough to make Stiles stop reading, but he knew that once he started he couldn't stop, he read the entire thing. Every time he needed a little more encouragement to keep going he'd go back to the triskelion, their family. He read about Erica talking about him, her crush on Stiles a year ago and how he would never see her the way she is now, especially since he was too wrapped up in Lydia Martin. Then she talked about what Derek offered her, how she took it and was so full of confidence and self-esteem after the bite, meeting Boyd and no longer feeling the same about Stiles. Her love interest between herself and Stiles turned into the UST between Stiles and Derek, how they just danced around each other for so long, someone should have just locked them in a room until they fucked. Okay, that part was a little too much for Stiles, but he laughed all the same because she was right. Erica went on about how happy she was for Isaac and Scott getting together, about their little family that they all made, she loved Derek and Stiles as her parents more than her own. To Erica Stiles and Derek were the mom and dad she wanted, needed, had.

It wasn't until she started talking about her and Boyd leaving did Stiles start to feel like dirt again, if only he had known. Her last entry was the day before they left, she talked about laying against Stiles on the couch while he bickered with Derek over something trivial, Scott's head was in Isaac's lap both of whom laughed every so often at mom and dad, Boyd was conversing with Peter over something next to where Derek was sitting in the arm chair. Stiles remembered that day, the day before everything went to shit. Erica's last happy family memory and she put it down on paper. And Stiles had, he could keep it.

When he got to the end he felt like throwing a fit, he didn't want to end, the end meant permanency. The end meant death. Closing the diary meant Erica was really gone.

It wasn't until a tear drop hit the inside of the back cover that Stiles realized that he was crying again, only this time it was different. It was tears of acceptance, Erica was gone, and she was not coming back. And though he wasn't okay with it, he accepted it.

He rubbed the tear away on the cover, only to find the paper coming up off of it. Stiles freaked out thinking he broke it, but on second look; it looked like it was meant to come off, like someone had hidden something there. There behind the cover paper was folded piece of lined paper, yep, someone defiantly hid something there.

Stiles took it out and quickly unrolled it, reading it with fast eyes.

Hello, to whoever was lucky enough to find this,

Hopefully it was Boyd, Stiles, or Derek. If you're reading this, I'm probably long gone. But don't worry, this was something I expected long ago before Derek even offered me the bit. I just wanted to write this so I can have at least somewhat of a say as to what happens to me.

Tthis is what I want, guys:

If I die young, bury me in satin, lay me down on a bed of roses. Sink me in the river at dawn; send me away with the words of a love song. Lord, make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother, Stiles, he'll know I'm safe with you when he stands under my colors. Oh, and life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no. Ain't even gray, but he buries his baby.

The sharp knife of a short life.

And I'll be wearing white when I come into your kingdom I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger.

I've never known the loving of a man ,but it sure felt nice when Boyd was holding my hand.
He's a boy here in town, says he'll love me forever. Who would have thought forever could be severed by the sharp knife of a short life?

So put on your best, boys, and I'll wear my pearls.

A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar, they're worth so much more after I'm a goner .

And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singing, funny, when you're dead how people start listening
The ballad of a dove, go with peace and love.

Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket, save them for a time when you're really gonna need them.

Just know that I'll be saving you guys a seat up here, boys.

With all the love in the word,
Erica Renee Reyes.

Stiles didn't know where two warm arms circled around him while he was reading, but he was thankful for the strength they gave him. He turned around, burying his face in Derek's chest as he just sobbed, he swore he didn't even cry this much when mother died, this felt like he had really lost a child. Derek, even after Stiles ignoring him, blaming him, almost cheated on him, and yelling at him, just sat there and held Stiles. He let Stiles fall apart; he held him there and let Stile take what he needed.

After a while Stile looked up, feeling better than he had in a while, he stared at Derek for a moment before mumbling out an apology. Derek just shushed him and kissed him, all the emotion and mental draining between them felt for one to other, and Stiles had never counted himself so lucky as he did right now.

"We'll do it." Derek said once he pulled away, nuzzling Stiles' neck, "We'll abide by Erica's wishes for what she wants." He said as he gestured to the letter still in Stiles' hand.

Stiles looked down at it dazed like he had never seen it before, and then looked back up at Derek, "Derek, I…we…" He didn't even know where to start.

The Alpha just held his mate tighter to him, nodding, "I know, Stiles, I know. I miss her too."

There was really nothing left to be said once those words were spoken. They were voiced, recognized, and accepted.

Erica was gone, yes, but just judging from the diary in Stiles' lap, he knew that her memory would live on.

~**TW**~

The ending sucked, yes, but I had ten pages and knew if I didn't end it now then I never would. This thing got way longer than I intended, but I hope you liked it anyways!

Thanks for reading!