Just an idea I had floating around in my head.
Mama,
You may wonder why I am writing this letter. I have found that what it is difficult to say aloud comes out more easily in letters where you can't be choked up with fear, making it impossible for the words to pass your lips.
I have been lying to you mama. Everyday. Everyday when I come home and you hug me and ask me how I am and how my day was and I reply 'fine', I'm lying. I'm not fine, I haven't been fine for a long time I just haven't found a way to tell you before now.
There is something that I have been struggling with for a long time with and I am scared you will not accept it which is why I have wrote you this letter, hoping that after reading this you will have a chance to come to terms with it all and think about it before we speak and things that cannot be undone are said.
Before I tell you all I want to say is that, even after you finish reading this letter, I am still the same person, I am still your daughter Santana, that hasn't changed, please remember that.
What I need to tell you is that I'm in love with a girl, I feel about her the way that I've been taught I'm supposed to feel about boys. I know how you feel about this but I need you to know that there was no choice in this, there wasn't any moment where I was asked whether I want to fall in love with a girl rather than a boy, there wasn't a moment where I was asked if I wanted to spend years struggling to accept who I am and coming to terms with my feeling and being an outcast. It was out of my control. I struggled so long and hard fighting these feelings and denying it but I'm tired I can't fight it anymore.
I really began to accept it when I realised that I was never happier than when I was with her. No boy I had ever dated had ever made me feel the way that she did mama.
Love,
Your daughter Santana.
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