KC and I have been on the rocks lately. Alli thinks it's Jenna's fault, that they've been hanging out too much lately. I can't help but agree with her, he's always with her. She's always flirting with him, and texts him while he's out with me. Then some nights when I call him she beeps in and he hangs up with me. I don't get it.
Think of me when you're out
When you're out there
I'll beg you nice from my knees
And when the world treats you way too fairly
Well it's a shame I'm a dream
Tonight we were supposed to hang out at my place. He came over and told me there was a change of plans. That didn't fly with me.
"Excuse me? I thought we were staying here and watching movies?"
"Well Jenna invited us to go to the carnival with her tonight."
"Are you kidding me? You want to leave me to hang out with her?"
"If you listened for once you would realize that she invited the both of us."
"She doesn't mean it, she only wants you to go."
"I thought you two were friends?"
"KC are you serious? Me and her are not friends. Do you not see her hang all over you all the time."
"She does not. If you don't want to go, we can just stay here."
"I don't want to go, but something tells me you do."
"Well Jenna is my friend, and I like hanging out with her."
"Fine then. Go, but once you're with her you're going to think of me, all alone here."
"Whatever Clare. I'm going."
"KC, please don't. Stay here with me, we never hang out anymore, and I miss my boyfriend."
"Clare we see each other everyday."
"Yeah, at school, but we can't really talk there. Just, please, I'm begging you."
"Well, I want to go, I'll come by afterwards, at like 9."
"Sure."
All I wanted was you
All I wanted was you
I think I'll pace my apartment a few times
And fall asleep on the couch
Wake up early, to black and white re-runs
That escape from my mouth, oh
It was after 10 and he still hadn't come back. I've called his phone, texted him, called his group home, everything. The boy is nowhere to be found. I can't express how upset and nervous I am. What if something happened? He could be anywhere right now, with anyone.
Somehow I ended up falling asleep, I honestly don't know how.
When I woke up I checked my phone.
3 new voicemails, 2 texts.
The first voice message: "Hey Clare, sorry I didn't come by, got caught up at the carnival, I got in pretty late and didn't want to upset your parents. Call me tomorrow."
The second: "Hey Clare, it's Jenna, just calling to see how you were feeling. KC told me you were sick and couldn't come to the carnival. Just letting you know that we had a great time, but thought of you the whole time."
The third: "Clare, hey, I'm not going to be available tomorrow, I'm going out with Nash and don't know when I'll be back, I'll call you at some point. Bye."
And that third message, the only thing I could hear was the familiar giggles in the background. The giggles of Jenna Middleton.
All I wanted was you
All I wanted was you
All I wanted was you
All I wanted was you
I could follow you to the beginning
Just to relive the start
Maybe then we'd remember to slow down
At all of our favorite parts
When I talked to KC the next day, yeah he did call me, I broke up with him. I freaked out over him and Jenna, and he told me the truth, that they've been going behind my back since she moved here. After our phone call I cried for what seemed like eternity then began to think.
What the hell did I do?
Was I too much of a prude? Did he really want some stupid slut over me?
I really wish I could go back in time, and change everything, just to make sure nothing ever happened between the two of them. How was I so blind not to see it?
KC was probably the best thing that ever happened to me, and it got messed up of course.
Just once I wanted to get the guy, to be loved.
I only wanted him to want me, like I needed him.
All I wanted was you