this is a Song Fic, based on the song 'Renai Spiritsu' by Chatmonchy. the song is in Japanese, english translation can be found in the bottom.

this is a really amazing song. it practically begged me to write a story with it.

if you don't know it, look it up!

I do not own Inuyasha or 'Renai Spiritsu'.

Kagome re-read the song she had just finished writing under the light of her flashlight, humming it's tune quietly to herself. It was her turn to stand guard tonight, and she had another hour or so before she would wake Sango to replace her. It was more often then not now that Sango, Miroku and herself would stay awake to make sure no demon attacked them in their sleep. Usually, they would count on Inuyasha to wake them if needed.

However, Inuyasha was not there anymore – at least not at night. She knew where he was – he was with Kikyou, kissing her and loving her like Kagome wished he would love her.

She hoped, maybe, that if she gathered enough courage to sing her song to him, he'd remember that she's there, alive and capable of returning his love. Already loving him, though he seemed to ignore it.

Ima made hitotsu demo
Nakuse nai mono te atta ka na
Ima made hitotsu demo
Te ni ireta mono te atta ka na
Douka muimi na mono ni nara nai de ne
Ima sugu imi no aru mono ni natte ne

As she sang, quietly and clearly, she thought of how even though he had his Kikyou, had ignored Kagome's love, he would not let her go, would not let her stop loving him. He was stringing her along, making her think she had any hope. He would kill any male who looked at her twice, if she would let him. She had to fight him every time she wanted to go home, for crying out loud!

The truth was, he had his Kikyou, but still acted as if Kagome, also, was his. She would never be allowed to leave him. Unfortunately, if he wanted to leave, he expected her to sit and wait for him. She did, most of the time.

Ano hito ga soba ni inai
Anata no soba ni ima inai
Dakara anata wa watashi wo tebanase nai

She knew all of that, and still she could not stop loving him.

She never noticed that she was not singing to herself anymore.

**

Sesshoumaru paused in his travels at the sound of someone singing. Curiosity flaring at the sound of pain and hurt being carried in the – quite talented – singer's voice, he moved closer to the source of the sound.

Ima made hitori dewa
Sagase nai mono te atta ka na
Ima made hitori dewa
Tsukure nai mono te atta ka na
Douka muimi na mono ni nara nai de ne
Ima sugu imi no aru mono ni natte ne

In a minute he was sitting in a tree above his brother's camp, looking at the Miko, who sang softly to herself while looking at a strange paper, with an even stranger device providing her with light.

His brother was no where to be found, and from his scent he could tell that he hasn't been there for a while.

Ano hito wo kabuse nai de
Ano hito wo kise nai de
Ano hito wo minai de watashi wo mite ne

He was surprised at the words of the song to say the least. She knew the Halfbreed had gone out every night to rut with the undead one, and still she loved him, still she remained loyal to him. He had always thought her ignorant of the fact that the hanyou had chosen another. She knew. Knew, and still remained with him.

'but why?'

Ano hito ga soba ni kitara
Anata no soba ni moshi kitara
Watashi wo sutete ano hito tsukamaeru no?

Sesshoumaru nearly shook his head at himself. That was a foolish question. She had to have known Inuyasha would choose the other every time. It had happened before, when the undead priestess had been revived. He had seen it. He had been following them whenever he could, ever since the Miko – the live one, Kagome – had failed to die from his poison. She had become a curiosity, then. After saving her from the poison maker, he realized that she was more than a curiosity for him. That was why he could not resist her when she begged him to revive that otter who had been beheaded by Naraku.

Ano hito wo kabuse nai de
Ano hito wo kise nai de
Ano hito wo minai de watashi wo mite ne

Yet, the more she kept singing, the less he understood her.

Ano hito ga soba ni inai
Anata no soba ni ima inai

How could she still love him, knowing he didn't love her in return?

Dakara anata wa watashi wo tebanase nai

She knew he only kept her by his side because he could not have the other.

Dakara watashi wa anata wo omotte iru

He watched as she stopped singing, looking at some odd bracelet, then rising and waking up the other woman, the exterminator. He still puzzled over her as she lay down near the fox kit, her song ringing in his mind as he turned back to his own camp. He could still hear it as he kicked Jaken for falling asleep while he was supposed to watch over Rin.

'Maybe,' he thought to himself as he sat down with his back to a tree, closing his eyes and preparing for some rest.

'Maybe it doesn't have to make sense.'

After all, he himself had cared for the girl, maybe even loved her, even though he knew she loved another.

English translation

(things in brackets are my guesses for a more literal translation based on what I know of Japanese)

Has there ever been a single thing up till now
That I couldn't bear to lose?
Has there ever been a single thing up till now
That I could get?
Please don't let it be meaningless
Please become something meaningful soon

She's not with you (she's not by your side)
She's not with you now (she's not by your side now)
So you can't let go of me

Has there ever been anything up till now
That I couldn't search for?
Has there ever been anything up till now
That I couldn't make?
Please don't let it be meaningless
Please become something meaningful soon

Don't cover her (don't cover me up with her image)
Don't dress her up (don't dress me up with her image)
Don't look at her; look at me

If she comes to you (if she comes to your side)
And if I come to you (and if I also come to your side)
Would you abandon me and grab her?

Don't cover her
Don't dress her up
Don't look at her; look at me

She's not with you
She's not with you now
So you can't let go of me
So you can't let go of me
So you can't let go of me
That's why I love you
That's why I love you

and credits where they're due: the original site where I took the lyrics from some 100 years ago is not working anymore, but this works just as well:

Lyrics From:

www. jpopasia. com/ lyrics/ 8097/ chatmonchy/ renai-spirits .html

hope you liked!

I'm thinking of writing a continuation for it, though I'm not sure it.

tell me what you thought!

Lyla