Aware
A Fake Fanfic
Companion piece to Not Dwelling
Early on in their partnership, Drake had learned that JJ let off steam by smiling. It was the darndest thing. But faced with the crudest of informants, the nastiest of crooks, and the most heart-racing of arrests, JJ smiled. He didn't cry or scream out the tension - he laughed. When JJ didn't smile, Drake new something was seriously wrong.
JJ had spent too much of the past two months not smiling for Drake's liking. On principle, he understood the why. Heck, he'd spent a month getting over girlfriends before. And those relationships were anywhere from ten months to ten days long. JJ had been hooked on Dee Laytner for close to ten years. So getting over him was probably harder than Drake could imagine. It didn't stop him from feeling like his world was off whenever a smile didn't grace JJ features.
That feeling, heck all his feeling when it came to JJ, had intensified since their conversation two months ago. Or, rather, their kiss two months ago.
Although it barely counted as a kiss, and JJ at least seemed to have simply forgotten it had ever happened. No, that was unfair. He knew his partner better than that. He hadn't forgotten it. He, apparently though, had not been affected by it. He'd gone on with business like usual. As if nothing had changed between them.
Which it hadn't. In fact, once he reexamined things, Drake realized his feelings hadn't changed. He was just more aware of them. He'd always felt protective of JJ. He'd always worried about him, been there to cheer him up. He'd always been unable to say no to JJ's bright smile. That smile had always warmed him to the core.
But he was more aware of things they did. Like how he ruffled JJ's hair. How JJ would grab his arm and drag him down the hallway when he thought he was being too slow. How JJ straightened both their desks before heading home after shift. How he always brought JJ a cup of coffee when he got one. How he always had an excuse for why he couldn't spend time with his latest girlfriends. But he always had an excuse why he had to spend more time with JJ.
He spent a few weeks going through various stages of excuses and denials. Maybe it was only an emotional attachment. Maybe it was just curiousity. Maybe he was just lonely. Maybe JJ was just so conveniently there. Every day. Maybe he should grow some balls and face reality.
He was in love with his partner. His male partner, who - while gay - was apparently not attracted to him. If he was, surely he would have said or done something after two months. He'd declared his affection for Dee almost daily, after all.
Yet, Drake was aware of the fact that JJ treated him slightly different than anyone else. He never grabbed anyone else's arm, or straightened anyone else's desk. He refused dozens of offers for coffee, drinks, and lunches from other officers, but never him. He always sought him out to cheer him up after yet another break up, even if it meant seeking him out on the precinct roof, or driving to his apartment with sandwiches and beer. He didn't like sports, yet had allowed himself to be dragged to his place or the local sports bar for football sunday month after month and year after year. He didn't think twice about writing notes on Drake's own desk calendar, including his nephew and niece's birthdays - something he never remembered to put down, though he never forgot them - and who else in the office even knew those names and dates at all?
Was JJ aware of how differently he treated him - how they treated each other? As if the other was someone special already, and the words just weren't said? The final step not taken that would cross that line between best friends and something more?
"There's a meeting at ten. The chief's on a rampage." JJ greeted him when he entered their office.
Drake set a cup of coffee on JJ's desk before taking a sip of his own. There was a stack of files neatly divided between the two, though JJ had one of his own folders open already. "What's new?"
"The copy machine on our floor is broken."
"Hell." Throwing his coat over his chair, he flopped into it, picking up a file.
He swore he could hear JJ roll his eyes, even though he knew that wasn't possible. Alternatively, he probably just knew his partner well enough to know he was rolling his eyes. "We have a coat stand by the door, Drake."
"Yes, Mom." He made no move to put the coat up.
JJ razzed him noisily before picking up his coffee cup to take a sip. "Mmmm... The shop had raspberry syrup again?"
"They got the shipment today. Opened a shiny new bottle just for your cup."
"You're a prince."
"Tell that to my exes."
"I don't have enough free time for a task list that long." JJ retorted.
"Funny."
"I thought so."
The silence was companionable as they flipped through more files. He heard JJ close his latest folder with a sigh. His chair creaked, and despite himself he glanced up to watch as his partner stretched, arching his back and stretching his arms behind - head automatically following the motion, neck arching backward. Nobody dressed in darn three piece suit wearing a gun holster should look alluring while stretching, yet the thought invaded his mind anyhow. When JJ began to sit up, he transferred his gaze back to his papers.
"We always get the cases with all the darn paperwork, huh?" He mentioned, keeping his tone casual.
"Sure feels like it sometimes. How can one building belong to five people? Not even subletting, officially co-owned." JJ thumbed open another folder.
"No idea. They gotten any ID on our Jane Doe yet?"
"I haven't bothered Forensics this morning. Should we call or invade the basement?"
"Let's invade. My brain needs a break from all these stupid building regulations." Drake closed up his folder and headed for the door. JJ made a point of grabbing Drake's coat and hanging it on the coat rack. Drake grinned at him, and JJ purposefully tilted his head away as he exited the room first.
"Slob." He couldn't help but comment, though.
"Yep." Drake was still grinning as he shut the office door behind them. "Remind me to invite you over sometime this week. My apartment is reaching disaster zone levels."
"Get a maid service, Parker."
"Why should I? I can get you to do it for free."
"Only because I have a solemn oath to uphold about not letting partners and friends die from mold inhalation."
"Aw, and here I thought I was special to you." There was awkward pause after the statement, and Drake found himself glancing at his partner, wondering if he shouldn't have said something like that - even in jest. "JJ?"
"Grannies walk faster than you do, Drake. Geez, let's get to Forensics before the ten o'clock meeting." JJ grabbed his arm, and began to drag him up the hallway toward the elevator.
Drake had the desire to pull him up short and demand an answer to the strange pause. Hell, he had a desire to pull them somewhere private and just kiss the damn beautiful man just to see how he'd react. He gave into neither urge, and simply let himself be drug at a fast pace up the hallway.
It was a very thin line JJ and he tread between friendship and something more. Drake was more aware of that line every day.
Fini
I've had this half-written for a year now, so I decided to finally finish it. LOL Drake's side of things following Like, Like Love. A companion piece to my JJ-centric Not Dwelling. I have an idea for at least two other Fake stories, but my New Year's Resolution is to finish my current works before starting anything new.