"I can't believe I let you talk me into this," Viva grumbled as they snuck into the conference room behind Italy, who was totally oblivious.
"Oh come on, live a little. Besides, if we didn't do it, Prussia would eventually." Monty shot back as he pulled out his iPod. Viva shrugged and sighed in defeat and they waited in a corner until all of the nations had sat down. Monty thumbed through his iPod until he found the karaoke version of the song and made sure the volume was turned up. Viva looked at her friend, then at the nations, then back at Monty. It was amazing that they hadn't noticed him yet, seeing as he was a werejaguar and all. Monty had dark skin that was scattered with spots, spiky black hair and golden eyes that had pupils like a cat. The only thing he was wearing was a pair of loose fitting jeans and skull earrings on his ears…his cat ears…which were super fluffy and it was really hard for Viva to not pet them but she knew he's scratch her if she tried. Viva was a normal girl with dark brown hair, tanned skin and brown eyes. She was wearing a casual blue t-shirt and shorts.
America stood up and started babbling about some plan involving superheroes. The werejaguar rushed towards the table (pulling Viva along) and jumped so they were standing on it. Several nations gasped (mostly because they'd never seen someone with real cat ears before except for Greece) and Italy hid behind an angry Germany. "Who are you?" he shouted. Monty ignored him and pressed play.
You know, I've always thought stereotypes were kind of ridiculous, he began,
So I wrote a song about it. And it goes a little something like this!
He began dancing around the table a pulled a small microphone out of his pocket.
I think I love ya more than the Japanese love tentacle porn
And we should dance, dance, dance d-d-dance to these stereotypes!
Japan blushed bright red, "T-that's not true!" Greece patted him on the back consolingly while also trying to hide his smile. Monty handed the mike to Viva, who nervously sang the next few lines.
Let's come together and live in this world like a unibrow on an Indian girl
And we should dance, dance, dance, d-d-dance to these stereotypes!
India began screaming that his woman didn't have unibrows and that Britain was more likely to have them. Viva blushed and mouthed, "I'm sorry" before throwing the mike back at Monty.
Check it out now,
I love those fat Americans, (He walked over to Britain and shoved his face into the European's)
You know they're so obnoxious
They always eatin' burgers
They always holdin' shotguns
He made a gun with his hand and pointed it at Britain and winked, making him looked away angrily. America, who'd been laughing his butt off ever since the song started, gave him a thumbs up. He tossed the mike to Viva, who was becoming brave enough to dance a little.
And I love Mexicans
The way they mow my lawn
They all got a hundred kids
Cuz they don't know how to put a condom on
Spain chuckled and Mexico started punching him. Viva, who was Hispanic, shrugged her shoulders in an, "It's true," kind of way and handed over the mike.
Uh huh,
Cuz that's the way they roll!
You gotta go big like an Israeli nose
Israel nodded sadly and went to the bathroom to check out his nose.
You ever buy a pint for an Irish guy and they're out of control
like a Chinese driver!
Ireland glared at Viva and started telling anyone who would listen that Britain was a worse drunk. China pouted, "Italy's a worse driver than me aru!" Monty danced over to Turkey,
I love the Middle East but how do they handle
rockin' burkas while they riding camels?
AIAIAIAIAIA!
"We're just awesome like that," Turkey said, giving Monty a high five.
I love Jamaicans
Yeah they cool
But they always high so don't let them fool ya!
Yeah mon!
Viva flinched when Jamaica began shouting profanities at her and hid behind Monty.
And I love them Puerto Ricans
Even though they wash their a** about once and week and, Monty held up a hand to stall any protests,
Ha, I'm just joking
If you didn't know then you're a little slow
And you're probably from Poland~!
Poland looked up when his name was mentioned, "Like, huh?" Lithuania covertly rolled his eyes and smiled a bit at the dazed look on Poland's face. Viva giggled and sang the next lines with a lot more confidence.
I think I love ya more than the Japanese love tentacle porn
And we should dance, dance, dance, d-d-dance to these stereotypes!
Japan blushed even more and slid down so low in his seat that only the top of his head was visible.
Let's come together and live in this world like a unibrow on an Indian girl
And we should dance, dance, dance, d-d-dance to these stereotypes!
India stood up and stomped out of the room muttering about how disrespectful girls (and whatever Monty was) in America were.
Check it out now
Aw yeah!
Let me hear ya yell
If you love the outback redneck Australians
Viva pointed at Australia who was ignoring everyone and talking with New Zealand. Monty eagerly snatched the mike in his haste to sing the next verse.
And the crooked a** teeth of an English dude
"Git! My teeth are straight!" Britain yelled. Scotland was laughing so hard he had to support himself on Wales. Monty wasn't done however,
Or those creepy Italians who think they're smooth
Mamma Mia!
Italy teared up and looked at Germany, "Germany, am I creepy?" Germany blushed and pulled him into an awkward hug.
"Nein Italien. You're just fine."
Romano slammed his hands on the table and glared at Monty, "I'M SETTING THE MAFIA ON YOUR BUTT YOU LITTLE-" Viva shoved a tomato in his mouth to quiet him.
And how could anyone hate the French?
I know their hairy women don't shave their pits!
Brazilian girls is what ya want
Walking 'round town with that ba-donk-a-donk~!
France huffed and looked away. Prussia sniggered, "Ksesese! It's true!" and America wolf whistled, earning him a playful smack from Brazil who wasn't at all offended.
I love Africans but hold up a second
National Geographic says they all butt nekkid!
Breasts hang low what have they done with they clothes?!
Disappeared like coke up a Columbians nose!
Monty disappeared in a burst of flame, dodging the rocks, knifes and other various weapons thrown at him by the African countries and Columbia. He reappeared next to Viva, who noticed with increasing alarm that many countries were getting very angry with them, though a few (like America) had joined them on the table and were dancing.
Uh oh!
You're all on my checklist, even Russian guys who drink vodka for breakfast.
"It's true, da?" Russia said, finishing off his eleventh bottle of vodka for the day.
They're stereotypes and if you believe 'em
Then you're brain is small like a Korean p***s!
South Korea fainted. Monty slung an arm around Viva's shoulder and sang the chorus with her.
I think I love ya more than the Japanese love tentacle porn
And we should dance, dance, dance, d-d-dance to these stereotypes~!
Japan buried his face in his hands and was too embarrassed to object to Greece giving him a hug. America (who happened to know every word to the song) joined in singing.
Let's come together and live in this world like the unibrow on an Indian girl
And we should dance, dance, dance, d-d-dance to these stereotypes~!
Monty, Viva and America lined up in front of Scotland. "All together now!" America yelled.
I love Scotsmen though they hump sheep~
Scotland's eyes widened and his cigarette fell from his mouth.
I love Scotsmen though they hump sheep~
I love Scotsmen though they hump sheep~
I love Scotsmen though they hump sheep~
Britain was bringing a whole new meaning to the term ROTFL and almost every nation that didn't hate their guts right now was laughing too. Monty and America could barely continue singing and tears of mirth were streaming from their eyes.
They hump sheep~
They hump sheep~
They hump sheep~
They hump sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeep~!
Viva tugged on Monty's shirt and motioned to the group of angry nations, led by Scotland, who were slowly advancing. "We have to finish the song!" Monty whispered.
I think I love ya more than the Japanese love tentacle porn
And we should dance, dance, dance, d-d-dance to these stereotypes~!
Let's come together and live in this world like the unibrow on an Indian girl
And we should dance, dance, dance, dance to these stereotypes~!
Yeah!
Viva chuckled nervously. "We're just playing, you know we love you guys." She grabbed Monty's arm and ran out of the room. But, of course, Monty couldn't resist one parting last shot.
"But seriously, don't hump any sheep."
Me: *glares* You could have gotten us killed!
Monty: Oh come on, we were perfectly safe.
Me: Just because you have nine lives doesn't mean the rest of us do! *le sigh* Anywho, I hoped you guys enjoyed it.
Please review!