The Day After

            "He left." Sanzou's voice was quiet as he sat up and gazed at the empty, still warm space besides him. "He just upped and left." Sanzou glared at the incriminating red strands of hair marring the perfect whiteness of the pillow next to him.

            "Stupid kappa," the blond hissed out, picking up the pillow and launching it at the wall. The pillow barely grazed the wall and fell, nearly silent to the wooden floor.

            Sanzou wanted to scream. Throwing the pillow hadn't been enough, he need to do something more. He needed to beat his fists against the wall, stomp his feet, scream, and throw a general temper tantrum ala Goku style. No, there was more than just the childish anger. Sanzou was truly *furious*. What he wanted to do was hit Gojyo, throw a harsh punch straight into the middle of his smirking face.

            "Damn him!" Sanzou growled angrily, struggling to yank the bedclothes that had twisted around his legs in the middle of the night and nearly fell out of the bed. As he straightened up, kicking the still sweat-dampened sheets away from him, he caught sight of himself in the mirror across the room. Golden hair was wildly tousled, sticking up in all directions, evidence of the slender hands that had rushed through their silky strands still there. Sanzou gnashed his teeth at his reflection, lifting his hands and ruffling his hair so it fell in its usual pattern. But the mirror held him captivated and he gazed at himself, searching out marks that would prove to him last night wasn't only a dream.

            Small red marks marred his pale skin; showing where an eager Gojyo had nipped too hard and his lips were slightly swollen, swollen from hard, bruising kisses and gentler ones. Even worse than the marks on his body though, were the memories forever etched across his mind. Memories of something that Sanzou knew in his very secret of hearts he'd wanted, had, and let go.

            Unwillingly, a soft sigh escaped Sanzou's lips as he bent to find the clothing gentle, eager hands had removed the night before. As he straightened, cradling his robes to him, Sanzou was suddenly struck with the memory of Gojyo's hands on his body, swiftly and still, tenderly, removing his clothing, pausing to watch the long, cumbersome robes float to the ground and then turning ideal lips upon Sanzou's bare, waiting skin. Sanzou shook his head, tightened his lips and turned away from the mirror and angrily dressed himself.

            "I hate him," Sanzou informed himself, throwing the newspaper of the night before into the wastebasket. He didn't want it anymore, it reminded him far too much of things best forgotten. But still...for a long moment, Sanzou hesitated, his fingers grasping the doorknob as he gazed down at the suddenly forlorn looking paper.

            "This is ridiculous. Before you know it, you'll be smiling, just like Hakkai!" Sanzou snapped irritably under his breath, jerking the door open and storming into the hallway, paper fan ready for whatever the day had to bring.

#@#@#@

            Gojyo stared at what would've been Sanzou's seat at the breakfast table if Sanzou had not made a half-ass excuse about needing more cigarettes to skip the meal. Hakkai and Goku had accepted it unquestioningly or actually, Hakkai had. Goku was neck-deep in breakfast and hadn't even noticed the fact Sanzou was alive let along skipping a meal.

            Gojyo frowned fiercely at the empty seat and dug around in the pocket of his pants. Triumphantly he pulled out a bent cigarette and from the other pocket, he fished out a lighter. Ignoring the disapproving, half-disgusted look from Hakkai, he lit up the cigarette and inhaled deeply, giving a content sigh as the toxicants invaded his body. [1]

            Goku stopped eating long enough to whine at Gojyo around a mouthful. "That'th dith*guthing*! Hakkai make him THOP! It'th 'ucky!"

            "Really Gojyo, couldn't you at least smoke outside? I'm not going to get into what it does to your health since you don't seem to care about that, you could show some consideration for the rest of us." Hakkai shook his head at Gojyo's shrug. "Second-hand smoke is just as harmful as actually smoking the cigarette, you know."

            "So? Yours and Goku's constitutions could use a little toughening up." Gojyo gave a half-hearted grin and blew a puff of smoke their way.

            "Hmph." Hakkai dismissed the matter and instead, spoke warningly to Goku. "You're going to choke at the speed you're eating."

            "Will not."

            "That's what you said last week and you ended up choking on *soup* of all things. Slow down Goku or else I'll take that away from you."

            "Will not."

            "I give up. Gojyo can kill himself from smoking and drinking, and Goku you can choke to death. And Sanzou can go get himself killed by being stubborn and never backing down when he should. I really don't care." Hakkai rolled his eyes at the two and gave a resolute sigh.

            "Wonderful." Gojyo spoke absently, inhaling lazily on his cigarette and sighing as he exhaled the smoke.

            "Gojyo?" Hakkai arched an eyebrow at his friend. "What's wrong?"

            "Wrong? Nothin'. Just a little tired, that's all."

            Hakkai gave Gojyo a critical look, obviously not believing him. "Gojyo…"

            "I need some air," Gojyo responded abruptly, shoving his chair away from the table and tossing his napkin down on his uneaten breakfast.

            Hakkai sighed and shook his head, watching the redhead stride out of the dining room, inhaling his cigarette as if his life depended on it. "Sometimes…" Hakkai paused and sighed again. "Sometimes we can be so stupid."

            "Hakkai?" Goku glanced up and jostled the older man. "Hey Hakkai!"

            "Yes?"

            "How come you're not eating?"

            "I'm worried about Gojyo and Sanzou," Hakkai replied, glancing down at Goku.

            "Don't worry 'bout them. They can take care of themselves," Goku advised, slurping the last of his meal. Hakkai smiled and the youth cried loudly, "Oi! I want s'more dumplings! Hakkai, can we get more dumplings?"

#@#@#@

            Gojyo sighed quietly as he trudged up the back stairway to his room. Sanzou hadn't made any comments about heading out that day, so the four appeared to be staying at the inn for another night. Gojyo smiled slightly at the thought of the inn, it was definitely up there on his list of favorite places. And last night's events hadn't everything to do with it either…

            Gojyo hesitated as he paused before Sanzou's room. He could hear someone moving around inside, either Sanzou was back from buying cigarettes or he'd never left to begin with. Still hesitating, Gojyo moved to knock at the door. He knew he shouldn't be pressing his luck…but he was dying to see Sanzou. More than dying. Gojyo felt as if the world would spin off its axis if he didn't see Sanzou.

            All right. Maybe that was exaggerating the situation a *tiny* bit. But Gojyo was still suddenly wracked with a sudden desire to see Sanzou. More than see him. To embrace him, press his lips against the firm ones of Sanzou, hear his name whispered by those perfect lips…a soft moan left Gojyo's lips as his mind was sent spiraling back to the events of the night before.

            Suddenly, there was the sound of someone fumbling at the doorknob and Gojyo was unexpectedly face-to-face with the one he wanted more than anything in the world. Gojyo smiled weakly, but his greeting never left his lips as violet eyes narrowed and Sanzou growled, "You. What the hell do you want?"

            Gojyo arched an eyebrow at this blunt greeting. "Maa maa, Sanzou. No need for such profanity."

            "I'll be profane whenever I want. Get the hell away from me," Sanzou snapped, starting to slam the door. His slam was stopped though as Gojyo threw himself in the path of the door, narrowly avoiding being crushed by the door. "Damn you, I said get the hell away!"

            "Is that what you want?" Gojyo's voice was unusually quiet, devoid of any sarcastic mockery or anger.

            Sanzou paused for a moment before responding, his heartbeat picking up involuntarily as Gojyo slowly raised crimson eyes to meet violet ones. There was a long moment of silence as each pair of eyes gently probed the other, searching for something they both *knew* was there...but couldn't see. "Yes." His word was a low exhalant of breath, nothing more than a sigh. "Go away. Kappa."

            Something that may have been hurt flashed in Gojyo's eyes, but it was quickly replaced by a cool indifference. He didn't reply, simply turned on his heel and sauntered down the hallway.

            He didn't look back.

            And Sanzou closed the door.

#@#@#@

            "I don't want to share a room with the kappa," Goku whined. "He smells funny and he *snores*!"

            Smack. "Bakazaru, I do NOT smell OR snore!"

            "Waaah, you do TOO! Hakkai, he HIT me!"

            "And I'll do it again!" Smack.

            "I'll bite you, I will!" Snap.

            "DAMN MONKEY!"

            "ERRO-KAPPA!"

            Violet eyes glared ominously at the two. Goku was currently on the ground, having been thrown off-balance by Gojyo's hits and was glaring and pointing at Gojyo. Gojyo was dancing around the monkey, threatening to kill him through utterances of pain as he rubbed his hand where teeth-marks were still in evidence. "Shut. The. Fuck. UP!" Sanzou snarled, reaching out and smacking Goku with his fan. The ape immediately rolled onto his side and away from further blows, seeking refuge behind the calmness that was Hakkai. "And you…" Sanzou let the sentence hang as he advanced towards Gojyo, beating him harshly over the head with his fan.

            Gojyo didn't flinch as the fan made contact repetitively with his bare skin. "Hitting me won't change anything," Gojyo informed him quietly as the fan struck once more with dizzying force.

            "Sanzou! That's enough!" Hakkai's usual smile wasn't in place as the brunette stepped between the furious monk and calm kappa. "You've made your point, there's no need to give Gojyo brain-damage over it!"

            "What the hell do you know anyway?" Sanzou growled, glaring fiercely at Hakkai. Hakkai glared back, the lines of his face foreign and unfamiliar without his smile. Half-heartedly, Sanzou lifted his fan to see if Hakkai would say anything. Instead, the youkai reached out and wrenched the fan from his grasp.

            "You've never hit me," Hakkai said evenly, tossing the fan aside. "There's no need to start today."

            "Bastards. All of you."

            Hakkai arched an eyebrow at the monk. "Is that it?"

            "Fuck off, Hakkai."

            "Well, I'm tired!" Gojyo interrupted, yawning too widely in an effort to seem earnest in his claims. "I don't want to bunk with ape either so one of you can share with me."

            "Let's go Goku," Sanzou snapped, glaring at Gojyo and ignoring Hakkai completely.

            "But you smell like smoke toooooo…."

            Thwap. "Shut up!"

            "What's going on between you two?" Hakkai asked Gojyo quietly, resting his hand gently on his friend's shoulder. "I've never seen Sanzou so angry…or you so calm."

            "Well you weren't acting exactly in character either, challenging Sanzou like that," Gojyo replied irritably. "Let's just go to bed, all right? I wasn't kidding when I said I was tired!"

#@#@#@

            Sanzou's brow furrowed as he heard a soft knock at his door. Who the hell would be making calls at nearly three am? Sanzou was about to roll over and go back to sleep, ignoring the insistent knock but…

            "Dumb youkai. Probably can't sleep with an argument on his conscience," Sanzou mumbled, staggering out of bed. Although he wouldn't admit it, not even to himself, he was slightly relieved that Hakkai had come around to settle their argument. Only…

            "You're not Hakkai."

            "And you're not him either." Gojyo rolled his eyes at Sanzou. "Can I come in or are you planning to stare at me, wondering why I'm not Hakkai forever?"

            "You'll wake the ape."

            "Then you come out."

            Sanzou hesitated for a moment, obviously evaluating the situation. Finally, he stepped out of the room, closing the door softly behind him. "What do you *want*?"

            "Do you hate me Sanzou?" Gojyo asked softly, glancing down at the ground while he pressed a cigarette to his lips and half-inhaled before drawing it away again, as if changing his mind.

            "No." The word came so quickly, Sanzou wasn't even sure if he'd spoken or if he'd only thought the word.

            "Do you want me?"

            What was this, Twenty Questions? "You know perfectly well-,"

            "I *said* do you want me?"

            Sanzou threw him an angry glare. "I don't know. Maybe. Sort of. I don't *know*."

            "Well…" Gojyo gave a crooked grin, dropping his cigarette to the tile floor and stepping on it to extinguish it. "What do you believe?"

            "I believe…." Sanzou's voice faltered and he stopped, not trusting himself to speak or even *look* at Gojyo. "What do *you* believe?"

            "I believe…" Gojyo paused and gently reached out to touch Sanzou's face, tilting the monk's face to look up at him. "You could say that I believe in love."

            "Gojyo-," Sanzou began, but was cut off by the swift deliverance of Gojyo's kiss.

            And that was enough.

::End::

[1] I don't approve of smoking ^^;; No offense intended.

AN: They seemed to be slightly OOC but I guess it worked for the fic. *sigh* Hope ya liked!