Okay, so this is my first fanfic... hope you enjoy! :D

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters but wish I did!

It had been awkward in the Masood household ever since the wedding. Syed never received even the slightest warmth from his mother. Instead he was forced to endure the cold glances and snide comments. The rest of his family was aware that something was wrong but didn't know what. Syed refused to tell them when they asked what was wrong. What was he supposed to say? That although he had married Amira, he was in fact in love with a man? That he'd been having an affair with him since last summer, going against everything his family and religion stood for? He couldn't. Despite the fact that he was miserable with his life, he couldn't lose his family. And yet, it physically hurt him to be apart from the man he loved. His beloved Christian.

It had hurt so much to see the look on Christian's face as he had married Amira. The pain that was mirrored in his own heart should never be seen on that beautiful face. Syed knew he didn't deserve Christian; he had hurt him too many times, but that didn't stop him loving him. He would dream of him every night as he lay in bed with his wife. He knew he was meant to love her but he shuddered at her touch and made up countless excuses to avoid sex. The only one he wanted to be with in that way was sitting in a flat across the square. Amira had asked what was wrong, if he was going off her, but he had just told her she was imagining things.

Syed was spending every day on auto pilot, unable to think properly. His heart was broken and it felt like he would never feel anything but pain ever again. He wasn't eating, he wasn't sleeping and he refused to spend time with his wife. He threw himself into work, doing the late and early shifts and putting in as much over time as possible. It kept his mind off Christian and the anguish in his heart. And yet he still sought out Christian everywhere he went, hoping for just a glimpse of him. Christian looked just as bad as he did, the smile that had once lit up his face, and Syed's world, was gone. They didn't see each other much. Christian was working at the Vic now so they didn't even work together. Syed thought that perhaps it was better this way. Christian might be able to get over him and move on. That was all Syed wanted; for Christian to be happy. But he knew he would never get over Christian. Despite his mother's assurances that he would forget him and learn to love Amira, it wasn't happening. The pain was just as great each day.

Walking in from another long shift, Syed walked into the kitchen. He almost turned around when he saw his mother sat at the table.

"Sit down Syed. I need to talk to you while there's nobody else here," Zainab ordered without looking at him. He did as he was told, unable to meet her eyes and see the coldness there.

"You need to pull yourself together," she said. "I've given you time and now it is time to get over him and be a proper husband to Amira."

"It's not that easy," Syed said quietly.

"I don't care how hard you think it is! That pervert has made you believe you love him but it's not true. You're a good Muslim. You need to get over this."

"He's not a pervert and he didn't make me like this," Syed answered.

"Well you'd never thought like that before had you? He twisted you!" His mother spat.

"I did think like this before!" Syed shouted at her. "It's not like it's a new thing. I am gay and I always have been!"

Zainab's eyes were wide, her face shocked.

"No. I don't believe this," she shouted. "It's him making you think this isn't it. You're my son and I know you. You are not... you're not..."

"The word is gay, mum," Syed responded.

"But you're not," she pleaded. "You don't love him, you love Amira."

"No!" Syed shouted in exasperation. "I don't love Amira, not like that! I love him. I love Christian!"

There was a gasp from the doorway. Syed and Zainab both looked round. Standing in the doorway were Amira and Masood.