Welcome! I won't keep you any longer, just wanted to say thank you for giving this a shot.

Anchor

Chapter 1

Spencer stared at her reflection of her bathroom's mirror. Brunette. Hair curled. Brown eyes that peeked out under heavy hoods. Long eyelashes. Skinny, wearing tastefully preppy clothing.

She took a deep breath. She was going to do this. It was overdue. And god knows that Spencer Hasting cannot stand to be anxious, or even scared. She was done with all these confusing feelings between guys and girls like a broken compass, spinning out of control. She had to embrace who she was and accept the fact that she couldn't cut off this part of her sexuality like a limb. This was her.

"I'm gay."

"What did you do for spring break besides gettin' it on with Ezra?" Hanna asked with a little smirk to Aria.

The four best friends were having their last evening before school in the Hastings' barn. Candy, as well as popcorn, had already littered the room, making Spencer's hands itch for the vacuum. They had just finished a trashy chick flick that left Hanna and Emily in tears but Aria groaning with critique on the plot holes. Spencer thought it was little stupid but the couple was pretty cute, and the actor's and actress' chemistry was applaudable, so she remained indifferent.

Aria glared at her before responding. "Stayed at home and hung out at Hollis with my dad. Jesus, get your mind out of the gutter, Han."

"What about you Em?" Questioned Hanna with a brownie in her hand.

"My dad's coming home pretty soon so my mom's been making me clean the house even though I've already scrubbed the bathtub, like, five thousand times." Emily rolled her eyes. They all giggled at Emily's childish antics.

"I still can't believe we'll all be graduating pretty soon. It seems so close now." Aria's eyebrows were furrowed as if she couldn't believe how far along the year they were.

"It means we're all getting old," Hanna deadpanned. "Soon enough we'll be getting wrinkles and, holy shit, grey hairs." She shivered in horror.

Spencer rushed over to Hanna and gasped. "Oh my god! You aren't kidding! You have one right here!" She picked at one of Hanna's blonde strands.

Hanna panicked, eyes widening in fear. "No! No! Pull it out! Pull it out now! I can't have it infecting my hair!"

Spencer laughed. "Calm down, I'm just screwing around with you." Aria was shaking with laughter, mouth covered with the obscure novel she was reading that week and Emily was laughing too, cheeks rosey. Hanna was not laughing, her eyes shot death rays instead towards Spencer.

"That was not funny."

"Yes it was," Spencer retorted. They said nothing until the peals of laughter had died down. She needed to tell them before she stalled any further. Her palms were coated with sweat and it seemed like she couldn't stop producing the troublesome body liquid. Spencer smoothed down her pants anxiously. And again and again until Emily stopped her by detaching her damp hands from her thighs.

Spencer noticed her stomach fluttered a little when Emily took her hands. The swimmer's hands were soft and strong. I like it, she thought absently. The majority of her mind was based on her confession she was going to make so she pushed that thought to the side.

"Woah, calm down. Spence, what's got you so antsy?" Emily asked with concern evident in her face.

"I'm gay," Spencer blurted out.

Her best friends were stunned. Their eyes told her what she thought. No one had suspected her of being gay at all.

After a few fat seconds, Aria cleared her throat.

"Wait, are you serious?"

Spencer swallowed. "Yeah."

Aria blinked. "You know we're fine with this," she said slowly. "I'm not accusing you of keeping secrets- I mean it's your choice- but why didn't you tell us this earlier?"

"I barely came out to myself last month," Spencer confessed. "I've always noticed something was different about me but it was something I thought would pass every time..." Spencer was getting a little emotional. She was tearing up a bit. "I thought it was a phase since I didn't notice these feelings until a little before high school. But they haven't gone away and I realized... I can't keep denying myself of this any longer. I need to stop acting like I can just make it go away."

"Spence, we love you no matter what," said Aria.

"Yeah, come here you dumbass!" Hanna gave her a hug and the two other girls followed suit giving their friend the love she needed.

Hanna's curiosity was pretty much exploding so she asked. "Soooo... You didn't like Toby? Or any boys?"

Spencer shook her head. Why was bisexuality never an option in people's minds? She'd have to look into that later. "I did like him. Loved him, in fact. But I also like girls."

Hanna made a face of understanding, her lips a little O.

"So. Who made you come out?" Emily had little knowing smirk on her face.

"What?"

"There's always someone," Emily explained. "Don't lie. I know when you're lying."

Spencer blushed. "First of all, how do you know when I lie? Secondly, yes there is someone."

"First of all, I'll never tell you how I know, I just know. Second of all, who is she? I might know her," Emily mimicked.

"Yes, we all know you get around," Hanna teased.

"Her name's Samara. I was attending this, uh, gay youth seminar in Philly and I gave her my number." Spencer shrugged. "That's it."

"She better be cute. I'm just saying," Hanna said.

"She is, trust me," Spencer said.

"So when are you going to tell your parents?" Emily's mind flashed back to how painful it was to not have her mom's support. She hoped Spencer wouldn't have to go through the same thing.

"Soon. Tonight if not tomorrow. I think it'll be fine. I'll tell Melissa when she comes back, whenever that is." Spencer's parents were distant enough to not really affect her life too much regardless of their reaction. It was highly unlikely that it would be a problem though. Spencer distinctly remembered her mother working for a gay couple in the past, as well as being supportive of Emily's coming out.

"You have me, Aria, and Hanna if something goes wrong. You aren't alone Spence," Emily said sincerely.

Spencer smiled. "I know."

The star swim couple, Paige McCullers and Emily Fields, was doing their Biology AP homework in Emily's room, door left open of course, courtesy of Pam Fields. Three days back from break and they were already drowning in work and studying. Though it was grueling, they were both interested in the subject.

It made sense that both of them liked biology, the study of life. Life came from water and they found life in the water. Swimming was easily their largest common interest. Paige would often joke that they were amphibians rather than an average human being and that would make Emily wrinkle her nose since she did not want to be compared to a frog of all things. After swimming their other common interest was a love for biking.

Emily sighed and closed her textbook. "If I read anymore about flagellum I'll die."

Paige chuckled slightly but made a puckered face when she looked at her girlfriend. It wasn't the full laugh that Emily was used to. She decided it was just post-spring break blues and let it be. She'd learned to let the little things not worry her that much, after the whole A fiasco.

Both worked in silence for a few minutes until Paige sat up ramrod straight, grabbing Emily's attention. "Em, my nana's staying at my family's house for a while."

"So?" Emily did not see what was the problem.

"She's homophobic," Paige said.

"Oh." She could see the problem now. "How long is a while to you?"

"I have no idea. It could be a month, a year..." She trailed off. "I haven't told her about you."

"You mean us."

"Yes, us." Paige swallowed. "I don't know if I can. The stuff she said... Let's just say that if she had a choice between making me drop out of high school or for me to come out to her, she'd choose the former."

"I get the whole homophobic relative thing but I'm not going to go back to the closet Paige." Emily wanted her position to be as clear as possible. Lies were the last thing she wanted now, even if they were by omission.

"I'm not saying you should. I just need time," Paige said with puppy eyes.

Emily stared her down, effectively killing the puppy eyes. "I'm serious. I can't wait forever. It hurts too much," she said honestly. "But I guess it would hurt even worse if I didn't have you." Emily held Paige's hand, rubbing circles with her thumb.

"I love you," Paige said and kissed her. Their lips touching was probably the best thing that Emily had experienced so far today.

"I love you too," Emily said. "I'll give you a month to tell your nana."

"Okay," Paige said. And they went back to doing their homework.

Returning to bed after a quick pee break, Spencer hummed contentedly. It was the best Sunday she'd had a while. "Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels)" by Arcade Fire was stuck in her head. She felt so happy spending the entire day and the morning with Samara.

Everything was different. There was an infinite amount of ways Samara reminded her of Toby, like how secure she was with herself, and the quiet confidence they both had. There was an infinite amount of ways they were different. The softness of her hands, her warm lips, her hips, her breasts...

Spencer's head swam with the fresh memories of Samara.

Samara in her dress that was like a second skin on her body capturing Spencer's attention fully. Even in the crowd and noise of the club, Spencer's eyes were only on her.

How erotic Samara looked like when she was dancing, holding her hand out for Spencer to take. Pulling her next to her, the contact like electricity.

Samara, that absolute vixen.

Even before all that Spencer knew she was screwed.

"Do you think this dress is a little exposed? Like, slutty?" This was when they were both getting ready to go on their nightlife adventure. Spencer wanted to look good for Samara badly.

She could almost hear Samara's breathy, whispered response in her ear, hours after.

"It's not slutty if you're mine and only mine, Hastings."

Spencer could've gone naked at that point.

Somehow Samara always looked perfect. Even here with her blonde hair splayed out on Spencer's pillow. Spencer couldn't help but admire how the sunlight from the windows hit Samara and gave her an ethereal glow.

It was noon. A date with Samara was a twenty four hour affair. How did a simple coffee date at two turn into this? It seemed like Spencer went from one extreme to another. From only catching Toby for a brief moment during the weekend to Samara who was a tsunami and quickly occupying a considerable chunk of Spencer's life. She noticed that she only had time to think in her bed these days. She wasn't sure if it was a bad thing.

Samara was intoxicating. When she was present, she stole Spencer's attention. Spencer was hooked. A movie date could last forever if Samara felt like it should. Spencer enjoyed it. She liked that someone was taking the reins for once. She could've spent the whole day with Samara. So she did.

For once Spencer felt content. Her legs tangled up with Samara's underneath her silk sheets. Her body tinged with a pleasant achiness.

Her girlfriend of one week had left, leaving a wreck of a bedroom behind. Spencer's sheets needed changing and everything was in disarray. She cleaned up all of it in remarkable time, not surprising since she used to clean out rooms looking for clues and then shuffle everything back into place.

One downside for being with Samara was the lack of study time that Spencer usually allotted. Her routine was busted every time that Samara came into the equation. Spencer Hastings had a strict study schedule down to the minute to maximize efficiency. Samara was distracting to say the least.

She surveyed the damage. Not as horrible as she thought it would be. An incomplete math assignment, essay editing for the second time, and some polishing on a history presentation. She could do this, definitely, but this situation long term? That made her uneasy. Samara was spontaneous and delightful and everything that was perfect ( god, she was whipped) but Spencer valued premeditation too.

Shooting a quick text to Samara saying she would be busy for a little while, Spencer muted her phone, and that was that.

Spencer didn't beat around the bush after all.

With grades stabilized and her academic prowess back to peak levels, Spencer checked her phone. Her eyebrows shot skyward when she registered the thirty four unread messages from Samara.

Her lips curved upward once she opened them up. Most of them being selfies of Samara with an exaggerated bored or sad expression on her face. Her faces were adorable pouts making her look like a lost child.

Spencer: looks like someone's lonely

Samara: omg where were u?

Samara: u were like dead af

Spencer: I was just doing hw lmao

Samara: hw? wtf is that

Spencer: unlike u some of us have a thing called school

Samara: u need to loosen up and have fun spence

Spencer: ok sure... let's act like we didn't spend the weekend partying lol

Samara: plz i do that kind of stuff IN MY SLEEP

Spencer: how do u even function then

Samara: i don't. i have fun. LIKE U NEED TO DO

Spencer: tbh I have fun studying. I like it.

Samara: im pretty sure i like you more than u like studying

Spencer: oh wow u spelled out you I feel so special.

Spencer: I like you too.

Paige was waiting for her on the locker room benches since she knew that Emily always took a while on her hair.

"All this chlorine could not be good for my hair," Emily said while towel drying her locks.

"It couldn't be," Paige agreed.

"Thanks for waiting for me." She gave her girlfriend a kiss.

"You taste like soap," whispered Paige.

"Right back at you, frog," Emily replied.

"You know," Paige started. "My parents are away at a work conference for three days... You think your mom would let you have a sleepover at, let's say, Hanna's?"

"What about your nana? Unless you haven't told her that is," Emily shot back, a little irritated. Emily knew it was harsh, but Paige needed that.

Paige's face looked pained. "I told you I need time."

"You only have a week left," Emily said. "You think you need more time? Or am I going to stay in the closet again? If I am, just say so because I've heard Narnia's in there so I should pack appropriately." Emily angrily wringed her wet swimsuit.

Paige scowled. "I'm done with this conversation." Paige grabbed her bag and started to leave but Emily grabbed her wrist, holding her back.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you." Emily hoped Paige could understand. "I trust you to do the right thing. I trust you."

Her girlfriend's hand on her bag's strap tightened. "As much as I'd love to stay, I have a family dinner to go to." With that, Paige left.

Emily slammed her locker in frustration. Did Paige think she would accept that? How could she have a family dinner when her parents were away?

The preppy brunette packed her folders into her messenger bag, occasionally adjusting an item or two. She had realized long ago that she had made school a sort of relaxer when she was dealing with A. Papers and problems were so easy when compared to what A was hitting her with. Now that A was gone, Spencer still used school work the same way.

Samara seemed a little off the last time they talked.

Her phone's timed muting had ended and a buzz sounded off immediately, most likely a message from Samara. It was.

Samara: i know how we're gfs and exclusive but how would u feel if i wanted to explore other people

Spencer: what?! like sexually or romantically? do u want to try 3somes?

Samara: how would u feel if i hooked up with someone

Spencer: pissed honestly

Spencer: this doesn't sound like a hypothetical

Samara: well that happened

Spencer: are you serious

Samara: u were at school! i was so lonely and u weren't answering

Spencer: why are you telling me thru text

Samara: how would u have wanted me to tell u

Spencer: whatever.

Samara: how can u blame me. u ignore me regularly. what was i supposed to do

Spencer: I'm usually busy with homework so I mute my phone. I told you this. You understood.

Samara: don't get all formal

Spencer: I'm hurt, okay. You know that I like doing my work. I give you my weekends when I could've been with my friends or something.

Spencer: I can't believe you. You clearly moved on so I guess I will too.

Samara: Fine.

Emily gnawed at her lip. She hadn't seen Spencer this morning which was strange since the brunette usually got there earlier than anyone else. Spencer tended to like chatting with the teachers to ensure that her grades were fine (or stellar in Emily's world).

The tardy bell was ringing as Spencer walked into their shared English class. That was certainly a first. Even Ms. Hershel had a look of surprise.

The normally polished and perfect Spencer had gone surprisingly casual today, like what she usually wore for jogging, as well as make up free. Spencer had decided to go for a Nike hoodie and some leggings, a definite step down from her riding boots and fitted blazers. Something was up, she'd have to ask her later.

Emily couldn't help thinking that Spencer looked gorgeous anyways.

The class consisted of a bland lecture on Dante's Inferno and the essay they were expected to write on said book. Normally, Spencer would have been asking about any specifications for the essay and things like that however, today there was nothing but silence from her. Emily knew she should have been focusing on the teacher's rant but she was too concerned with Spencer.

The dismissal bell rang and dozens of students rose simultaneously to escape the class.

"Spencer! Wait up!" Emily clamored to catch up with the unusually unenthusiastic brunette.

She grabbed her arm as a way to establish eye contact and almost recoiled at the dark expression painted on Spencer's face. She let her arm go.

"Where were you this morning?" It was hard to talk to Spencer when she had storms in her eyes.

"Sleeping," Spencer answered curtly.

"You can tell me anything you know," Emily said, oozing with sweetness.

Spencer winced. Her face suddenly looked fragile, eyes tearing up and lashes blinking rapidly. "It's over. With Samara."

"What?!" Emily snaked her arm across Spencer's body to give her a strong one armed hug. "Whatever happened, she doesn't deserve you Spencer."

Spencer finally let the tears fall and buried her face into Emily's shoulder. "She cheated on me," Spencer said quietly, barely loud enough to be audible. "I think I caused her to do that."

"Shush. Regardless of problems you guys may have had, Samara handled it horribly," Emily reassured.

"I really fucked up," Spencer muttered.

"I love you to death Spencer but you need to shut the hell up and just believe me," Emily said firmly.

Spencer sighed and wiped at her eyes with the sleeve of her jacket. "Fine. We should get to class. I've kept you enough."

"You're insane. I'll always be there for you." Emily frowned. She hated self-deprecating Spencer. It wasn't like her. It made Emily angry to see Spencer like this. How could Spencer not know how wonderful she truly was?

"I know that," Spencer said. "I'll always be there for you too. Promise."

The dark brown haired swimmer had been patient. Her mother took pride in her daughter's ability to bide her time for things. But something had changed when she was under A's thumb. Her patience had cracked. The powerlessness she felt with A's threats had tortured her. With A gone, "normal" life was slow and tedious. People worrying about their finals were on another planet from what she was feeling. She lacked the energy to even care about such mundane things. Everything feels like it's in slow motion when you've experienced one life or death situation after another.

That was what Emily told herself to justify the deadline she had given Paige.

She knew the hypocrisy was there. Maya had waited for her and yet she couldn't do the same for Paige. What was wrong with her?

She was fucked up. That was certain. She was broken but that didn't mean that she was going to abuse everything and everyone good to her.

Emily made up her mind. She would apologize to Paige and tell her to take the time she needed. It was only fair.

The doorbell rang. Emily got up to answer the door, grimacing from the sore effects of yesterday's grueling practice.

"Oh. Hi Paige." The other girl wasn't smiling.

"Hi Emily. Can I come in?" Paige wrung her hands.

"Oh y-yeah. Of course." Emily cleared her throat. "You want a drink or something?" Paige shook her head and sat down on the couch.

"I think we need to talk." Emily rolled her eyes internally and had to fight the urge of actually rolling them. They were already talking. Why did she have to say that awful cliche line?

"Sure." She settled into a chair, facing Paige. "But look, before you go any further, just know that I don't want to pressure you into coming out to your nana. That was stupid of me to do. I'm sorry."

Paige twitched. "It's okay."

"So we're good?" Emily got the sinking feeling that all was not well.

Paige tugged rolled up her sleeve, avoiding eye contact. "We are, but maybe as friends."

"Wait. What?" Emily asked in disbelief.

"I think we'll be better off as friends." Paige said with a stony face.

Paige was breaking up with her. Paige was breaking up with her. Paige was breaking up with her. No way in hell was this happening. Was she still mad at her for the whole stupid nana thing?

Emily pleaded, "What should I do for you to forgive me?"

"No-" Paige started but Emily cut her off.

"I love you." It was the only thing Emily could say.

"I love you too Em but you're missing what I'm trying to say." Paige took a deep breath. "This ordeal started making me think about why I'm so afraid. And then I realized. I'm always scared. I will always be scared and you don't deserve that."

Emily shook her head furiously. "Stop! You stuck by me even when you knew what happened to Maya. You were there for me. How is that not brave?!"

"You deserve better. You need someone who can sh-shout how much they love you from the rooftops. That isn't me..." Paige said with a crack in her voice. "I crave people's opinions too much. Maybe it's because of Alison, maybe not. All I know is that there will be a constant part of me that will be insecure with my sexuality because it might offend someone. You deserve so, so much more than I can give," Paige said shakingly. "I don't deserve you."

"Don't do this. You are who you want to be." Emily choked back sobs. "I'm willing to wait for you. I'm willing to fight for you. Are you willing to fight for me?"

"You know I can't be who you want me to be," Paige said, wiping her tears and then fleeing the Fields residence, leaving Emily in stunned silence.

Whoo! That chapter moved at breakneck speed, eh? If you're a bit concerned about the pacing of things, don't worry, it'll calm down after this chapter. This story is going to be quite fluffy, though there will be a little bit of drama since life is a bit dramatic. A will not be a part of this little shipping haven, though A will have an influence on how they act. All in all, it's going to be wonderfully fluffy. I have this pretty much planned out entirely, but if you have any quick scene suggestions, I would be happy to consider them. Any faves, follows, and reviews are appreciated. Thank you.