*Set on the first morning of their honeymoon*
Fiona awoke to bright sunlight. It shocked her a little. It was the first time in many, many years she hadn't woken to the sunrise. Though, she suddenly remembered she did, briefly. They'd had a late night, yesterday was exhausting on many levels. She had simply rolled over and gone back to sleep. She smiled, she could certainly get used to that. Still, it was late enough and Fiona couldn't ignore the nagging feeling that she shouldn't waste the day sleeping. It was the first full day of their honeymoon. She wanted to treasure every second of it. She looked to the person she shared the bed with, he was still sleeping, though not quite as soundly as before. He would wake soon. Her smile widened before it wistfully faded away. She looked to the ceiling. She was still adjusting to life outside of the tower. The bed felt odd beneath her, the lighting in the room was so bright, the presence of another person was a little strange, and of course, the body she now inhabited in the sunlight was something she never expected to happen. And yet, there she was, green, in broad daylight. She extended one arm, holding her hand out in front of her, the sunlight reflecting off of her green skin. She smiled at first, she'd always liked the colour, at least a little. Except she couldn't help but let her eyes be drawn to the large shape of her fingers. The self-doubts began to run through her mind, her permanent form was the hardest adjustment of them all.
Just as Fiona decided she should get out of bed, lest her thoughts spiral forever, she realised with growing alarm that she was naked under the bed sheets. She peered underneath them at herself. The pangs of self-hatred surfaced. She squeezed her eyes closed, smoothing the sheets over herself again. She desperately tried to swallow those feelings down. She knew she didn't have any reason for them anymore. The body that now wholey belonged to her was a part of a matched set. She smiled a little, she didn't want to let that go. She wanted to remain a part of that matched set forever, as she had willingly indicated in their wedding the previous day.
She thought she had accepted it. She was sure she had accepted it. And yet the terrible feelings were still there. Despite everything. Yesterday was... it was different. She was so caught up in her feelings and him. She didn't really have the time to think.
Her clothes were discarded elsewhere, out of her reach on the floor. Their case with her nightgown and a change of clothes was in a different room entirely. Forgotten about. She was sure if she moved he would wake. He would see her. It was silly, she chastised herself. He had already seen her yesterday. He didn't care, she knew that, it would even appear that he liked her. Of course he did. She told herself. But she couldn't help but hear her thoughts tell her it was because of the love, it was because of the situation. Just as yesterday she didn't care as much either. Today was different. The sun was shining brightly and directly through the window. By the time they arrived at the cottage yesterday the sun had already moved to a different part of the house and began filtering away quickly. In this light he'd see her completely.
What if he didn't like her? What if it really did matter to him?
She knew she didn't really like her. It had always mattered so much to her. She didn't even want to think about what she would look like in the bright sunlight that filled the room. Let alone imagine what he would think of it. Her whole life she knew that people expected her to look a certain way. Especially her eventual husband. In the tower she kept herself fit, the food she had was the exact right amount she needed to maintain her petite figure. It was all so she would look good for this moment; when she was married and naked beneath the bed sheets. When she'd have to get up in the daylight and have him look at her as he woke. To make him smile and think about how beautiful she was. That's what she wanted, that's what she imagined. The ogre body didn't fit with that. She despised herself so much that she avoided seeing herself in any state of undress as an ogress. Standing naked in front of the mirror was the reason she broke it. She had an intense fear of anyone seeing her that way.
The fear seemed to resurface with her thoughts. She took a shuddery breath, a tear spilled over her cheek, despite her not wanting it to. She was on her honeymoon, the only crying she should be doing was crying with joy. But she was happy. She was so happy. She looked across to the other side of the bed to her sleeping husband. A smile crossed her lips. She was so full of joy about the situation she was overwhelmed by it. But everything still bothered her. It both made no sense and made perfect sense in her mind. Sure, she was nervous the previous day. But her thoughts were elsewhere, his were too. Today he would actually see her, she would see herself, her permanent self.
Her movement and wakefulness seemed to wake Shrek prematurely. She sniffed quietly, wiping the tears from her face, forcing the thoughts back into the box they came from.
His eyes opened and a hazy smile spread over his face. He yawned, "Good morning," Shrek beamed as he caught sight of her, "my beautiful wife," he added. He propped himself up onto an elbow, watching her.
His words were too apt. The knot quickly tied itself in her throat again, she blinked. She was so happy to be waking up next to her husband, starting their first whole day as a married couple. But the strange mixture of feelings was too much. She opened her mouth to reply but couldn't stop the frown taking over.
"What's wrong?" concern clouded the ogre's face.
"Nothing... nothing," she brushed him off, wiping under her eyes. Though it only seemed to prompt more tears, "I'm so happy," she choked out an involuntary sob.
"Hey," he laid back down upon the bed and pulled her into his arms. His movement seemed somewhat hesitant, not just the nervous hesitation from before. This was different. Fiona could tell he was worried, he was worried she was second guessing him. She willingly took to his embrace despite her hesitance to press her body against his. He held onto her tight, almost as if he didn't want to let her go. It was nice.
"I love you," she spoke through the tears his gesture seemed to provoke. Her world had been thrown upside down in a very short amount of time, not necessarily in a bad way, but it was still a lot to take in. Her love for him was the one thing that she was absolutely sure of. Her words seemed to ease him a little.
"I love you too," he stroked at her hair.
Being caressed in that way soothed her. She pressed her forehead against his chest, closing her eyes. She took slow breaths, every now and again letting out a little sob. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay," he was quick to reassure her.
Silence took over. Despite the crying and her brain feeling like a tornado, it was comforting. Being pressed against him under the warmth of the sheets, almost made everything melt away for a moment. She could certainly get used to being held like that by her husband. She didn't want it to end. But, she would eventually have to get up. She found herself hoping that he might get up first, then she could keep the bed sheet around her for modesty, or even better he would leave. She tried to shake those thoughts away, she couldn't hide forever. She didn't want her thoughts to ruin what they had going. They were ruining enough already.
The hand he was stroking her with grew more hesitant. He took a breath, "So... What is wrong?" his voice was uncertain.
Fiona immediately wanted to reject an explanation. He wouldn't understand, he couldn't understand. He'd been an ogre his whole life. He didn't grow up with the same expectations, the same disgust as she did. But if she didn't tell him the truth, he'd only think the problem was him. Because of course, he grew up knowing humans despised him, knowing that humans only saw him as a big, stupid, ugly ogre. And she, of course, was raised a human, identified as a human her whole life. And there he was, laying in a bed, naked himself, with her; the human. She couldn't stand the thought of that. That was worse than any self-hatred she felt.
"Is it..." her hesitation prompted him to guess, "Is it me?" he confirmed her suspicions, and began to loosen the grip he held her with. He was subtly moving away from her.
"No!" she wrapped her own arm around him, pulling him back against her, "Of course it's not you," she wanted to look at him, but she didn't want to leave his embrace. She planted a gentle kiss on his shoulder. She could feel the tears building once again. She didn't even know how to begin to explain it to him. "It's me."
He gave a quiet, dry laugh. She could hear his quickened heartbeat.
"No, really," she confirmed, sniffing. She took a nervous breath, "I know..." she paused, trying desperately to get her thoughts into order, "You say that I'm... I'm... you know...," she spoke slowly, pressing her forehead against his chest again, "But, I just... I can't..."
"Wait," he pulled away from her so he could look her in the eye, "Say that yer what?"
Her brow creased, a tear escaped. Shrek caught it with a finger, wiping it away. She blinked at him, "That I'm... I'm..."
"Beautiful?" he asked, the corner of his mouth twitched into a smile.
She nodded wordlessly, another tear escaped.
"Ye don't think that yer beautiful," he stated. She hesitantly nodded again, she broke eye contact looking down, looking anywhere but at him. "And yer wondering how I could think that yer beautiful," he continued.
Her lip trembled in response. Him saying it out loud sounded so stupid, especially as they were tangled in bed together after sharing the day they previously had.
"Oh Fiona," he pulled her back into his tight embrace, "Yer the most beautiful person I've ever seen." He kissed her head.
"As a human perhaps..." she felt herself mumble the words before she could stop herself.
It made him hesitate, "No..." he shook his head, "Right now, last night, yesterday, the day before that..." he seemed to force himself to stop before he kept on listing the days forever. He pulled away a little, so he could look at her again. He lifted her chin so she met his eyes. "You. Are. Beautiful."
He kissed her, she returned the kiss, feeling her heart flutter like it had before. She wiped the tears from her face with the bed sheet. "You really think so?"
"Aye," he responded quickly, surely. He smiled, "What I can't get ma head around is what a beautiful princess is doing here with me."
She giggled despite herself, "Well, I think the ogre stole the princess's heart."
"Seems like a crime t'me, what happened t'him?" he joked. It made her laugh.
"He got a big, bright, happily ever after," Fiona smiled. She felt the joy swooping back and taking over her body once again, they were married. Her smile widened, "It's the first day today."
He laughed, taking her hand in his. He told her that he loved her, she returned the words. There was a pause. He was just staring at her, gazing at her. It even made her a little self-conscious, she looked away and giggled.
"Fiona," he broke the silence, "I don't think ye'll ever understand how beautiful you are."
She realised he was right. She probably wouldn't. The fact that he acknowledged it seemed as though maybe he did understand her own thought processes. Or at least he would when she would eventually take the time to explain. Now wasn't the time, not while things were so fresh, not while she was laying there. Still, she was sure that he'd tell her what he thought about her often. "Maybe I will," she shrugged, giving a hopeful smile, "But it might take a while," she was apologetic.
Though his smile only turned playful, "I can wait," he let go of her hand, running his own hand up her arm, onto her shoulder, "We don't have t' move yet."
She grinned at him, giggling. She was a little embarrassed that she had put their honeymoon on hold with her insecurities. But she let those thoughts go as quickly as they came. Her previous feelings interrupted. "I'm sorry for that interruption," she placed a hand on his cheek. He simply shook his head at her. "We can continue our honeymoon now," she confirmed.
He laughed a little, "Where were we?" He pulled his arms securely around her once more, his gaze flickering down to her lips, "Oh, I think I remember."
. . .
AN: I know I'm probably going to get a bunch of troll reviews for this, and they can just fuck off.
Honestly, this might be my favourite thing that I've ever written. I love Fiona as a character and how complex she really is. It's fun and kinda sad to dive into that.
This has been done for agggeessss. I wrote it as like a promo for one of my other stories that I rewrote. Back on my old bullshit again. I didn't think replacing chapters would bring it back to the front page, being like the third version of that story I felt like a bit of a dick. So I was just gonna do a shout out in this author's note here. But this janky ass site screwed me over and it went to the front page anyway. But here, have a totally new story anyway, these are rare from me, I know.
In any case, I hope you enjoyed this little one-shot. I'd love to hear what you think. In a fandom full of trolls it's hard to put anything out there now. I guess you can use this as an invitation to post anything you have anyway, maybe we can try and reclaim this place. Props to all of yous genuine people who are posting here despite it.
Happy writing!