Uragiri Mono – The Betrayer
裏切り者
Summary: "Why don't you join me?" The moment that question was asked, he hesitated. Despite the fact that his retort was firm, that split-second of hesitation had been enough to prove his doubt. Both of them knew it, and it hurts him more than ever to know that he was betraying everyone, especially his own brother, himself, and most of all, the real him.
Pairings:
Dark Blues (and Blues) x Rockman, Ijuuin Enzan x Hikari Netto (side)
Rating: M, for mentions of various activities, dark themes and cursing.
Warning: Shounen-ai, yaoi, OOC-ness, dark themes, sexual situations, angst and cursing.
Disclaimer: I do not own Rockman EXE or any of its characters; they belong to Capcom, Shogakukan, TV Tokyo, ShoPro and etc. I wished I owned the blue duo, red duo, Dark Blues and Dark Rockman though.
Timeline: Axess (Dark Soul Blues period, obviously), to the end of the series.
About this story: So I said I'm never returning to this fandom. That… was a lie. However, this was written a very very very long time back. Ugh, my muses really do die easily. So if you find that suddenly the story doesn't flow anymore, do forgive me. I'm not sure if I would be able to continue this or not (it depends entirely on whether I can. I'm not making promises though.)
I played with the game, manga and anime elements in this, so Rock and Netto's psychic link does exist. I was so sad that I didn't get to see it in the anime! I'd put Saito Style and Muramasa Style in this as well, but it wouldn't fit. Full Synchro works both in the anime way and the manga way… If I ever get that far.
Cross-posted to Ao3 as well.
Notes on chapter: I'm not sure if I got the scenes correct but, I'm too lazy to re-watch them. This chapter is un-beta'd, do excuse any and all mistakes.
Chapter One:
"Blues! Blues!" Rockman shouted desperately as he warily approached his partner who was currently holding his head in pain. His core thumping heavily in worry and anguish – he had, after all, seen Blues take in the dark aura – for the other. Blues gave a slight wince as he lifted his digital sword at Rockman to stop his advance, the red blade glowing at the tip from where Rockman could see it.
"Don't come closer!" Rockman obeyed, pausing in his advances, and the red navi continued, "Rockman, please, delete me…" Green eyes narrowed and Rockman clenched his hands into fists, "… before I become your enemy." Another step, before he came to stand beside his partner – lover and rival –, "What are you saying?! I can't delete you!" Just then, Blues let out a painful howl, "Blues!" and then there was that familiar pulsing in his core as both his and Blues' emblem glowed in unison.
He reached out for Blues, to calm him down and perhaps try and help him overcome the dark aura (wistful thinking, he knew that from seeing so many losing the battle and surrendering to their desires, but that didn't stop him from trying) but before his hands could reach their desired destination, their opponent – totally forgotten, how the hell had he recovered so quickly?! – grabbed his helmet and lifted him up like a rag doll (he probably was one, compared to Shademan).
Rockman screamed in agony at the searing pain he felt as Shademan closed his hand around his head – he could hear his helmet cracking under the pressure – and for a moment, he heard Netto's mental cry of surprise and pain through their link as they were forced out of Full Synchro at the impact.
"Rock-nii!" He couldn't regain his wits long enough to formulate a reply and when Shademan increased the pressure, "Saito-niisan!"
He didn't see, however he did feel the familiar pulsing – which was previously interrupted by Shademan's intervention – in his core once again and Blues saying… something.
"Take it, my power!"
And then there was a bright red glow – contrasting greatly to his blue one – before Shademan lost his hold on him and Blues' data began to travel through his systems, boosting his stats, giving him new abilities – the same abilities that his lover possesses – and changing his appearance; red and white armor, two shield-like forearm protector, a transparent green visor and longer hair.
"Soul Unison: Blues Soul." Rockman narrowed his eyes in determination as he stood face to face with Shademan, forming a Neo Variable Sword before pouring as much energy as he could into the attack – Soul Unison or not, Shademan was a tough opponent – then, he swung the yellow blade out like a whip as hard as he could, watching with no little satisfaction as the attack traveled out, hard, fast.
"Sonic Boom!"
The energy wave hit Shademan like how a dart would hit a bulls-eye, and the Darkloid transferred himself out of the ship's network systems; however that victory was short-lived when he heard Blues cry out again. "Blues!" Turning around, he was shocked to see that the dark aura had once again surrounded the red – actually, his armor was now very dark red, almost purple – navi. Blues himself was now clutching his head with both hands and screaming all of his pain out, before Rockman could even take a step, the aura completely engulfed the other and brought Blues away at the speed of (Rockman couldn't help but to compare grimly) a shooting star.
"BLUES!" Of course, his calls for his lover went on deaf ears.
"Saito-niisan…" Rockman logged out automatically even before Netto pressed the logout button. Grimly, he fed the data of Blues Soul into a blank chip which Netto had inserted into the PET and chose to stay silent for the journey home, brooding silently in his PET the whole while.
Because seriously, how Netto-kun was going to comfort Enzan was none of his business. How Enzan was going to take this was none of his business as well (but then he could just go to the cause of this whole problem and tell her to comfort him). However now, Rockman could only wish that Netto-kun had used that Dark Chip instead of Enzan, and that he also wished – in a very, very deep, dark part of his consciousness – that she had never came into their lives, or that she wasn't that bent on blaming Blues and Enzan for the deletion of her navi when she knew the truth.
That, Rockman decided, was really a pathetic reason for a sorry revenge.
That night, Rockman had nightmares, not that navis dreamt, however his defragmentation process during Sleep Mode just kept on flinging out the images of Blues being corrupted by the dark aura, again and again, until Rockman didn't really feel like recharging anymore. However the moment he went Online, a pain in his core made itself known – not unlike the one he got when Gospel deleted Blues, just way worse –, it was dull, and no matter how Rockman willed it away, it stayed like an annoying leech, clutched onto his core. If he were Saito once again, he would have definitely wanted to blame this on his illness. Simple, pathetic excuses, he understood it well.
Finally, sitting in a corner of his homepage, Rockman let the digital tears fall as he wrapped his arms around his legs and pulled them to himself, pretending that the slight warmth he felt was from Blues, and that his lover wasn't gone.
"Blues…"
He spent the next few days brooding, since there weren't any major events, except for virus activities around town. Netto spent the rest of the time worrying about Enzan; – for that Rockman was glad, he didn't exactly want Netto to worry for him – whom he hasn't seen since the little escapade on Regal's tanker. It was as if the prodigy had disappeared off the very face of the Earth, having stayed in the IPC building for the past few days. There was no news of Blues either.
Rockman really didn't know if he should be happy that Blues hasn't shown his face ever since then, or be very worried. Every time he thought about it, his core throbbed with a sharp pain – and longing for Blues – that always had him gripping his crest hardly.
And then there was the other question; what exactly is Blues now? An independent navi? A darkloid? Rockman didn't know, but papa did say that the dark chip used was special, and that it had broken Blues' connection to his installation drive and base program installed in Enzan's PET and rewrote his data, so it was impossible to tell where or what he was now. Sci-Lab's attempts to examine the dark chip in question had failed again and again, so it was impossible to tell what effects it had on Blues other than that, or how to even get him back.
Despite everything, Rockman still felt a certain part of Blues within him, because in some instances – like now – a part of his core would throb in longing, not for Blues, but for Enzan and the familiar surrounding of his PET.
"Netto-kun." The call for his operator – and twin brother – flew out of his mouth before he could even stop it. He felt Netto prod questioningly at him through their link and the brown haired boy took out his PET to face him. His hair, dripping wet from standing in the rain, fell around his face and framing it instead of being in the usual mess, his previously light blue bandanna was also turned a darker shade of blue from the rain.
"Rockman?" Brown eyes blinked curiously.
"Netto-kun, can I go out for a while?" He asked, keeping his thoughts in check in case it leaks through their link. However it seemed that the action wasn't needed when Netto's chocolate-brown irises gained an understanding look to them.
"… Sure."
He nodded his head and activated a link to Blues' PET and waited for Enzan to accept the transmission. When he pixelated into the red device, it was obvious from Enzan's slight smile that he had been expecting someone else – Blues, obviously, who else? But even Rockman knew that it wasn't going to happen – his expression fell when he noticed Rockman.
"Rockman." The blue navi was surprised when he didn't ask: What does Netto want? Perhaps he deduced that it was personal from Rockman's expression, but the navi wasn't going to question him on that.
"Can I stay here for a while?" He continued, seeing the surprise growing in Enzan's blue eyes. "I suppose the part of Blues in me wants to return here, so…" He eyed Enzan, who had set the PET down onto his work table and was staring at him.
"Do as you like."
The duo coloured-haired prodigy didn't even wait for his reply as he strode away again, leaving Rock to stay inside the PET. The blue navi looked around, wondering briefly what Blues did in here everyday, as it was usually the red navi who visited him in his PET, or they would just go to each other's homepages, but never Blues' PET. He prodded gently at the navi program installation drive already installed there, it having showed itself since it was no longer active and corrupted – Rockman had to wince at this – from a lack of the navi's data, trying to feel something, anything really, for his own comfort.
However as expected, nothing could be felt and Rockman withdrew his hand, dismissing data access mode, with a sigh. He strode over to a corner of the PET's firewall and sat down against it, heaving another soft sigh and turning off audio output so as to not disturb Enzan, bringing his knees close to his chest, he closed his eyes and just enjoyed the silence and peace of the moment, all the while hoping that Blues was here with him, once again.
But as usual, peace never does last long. Nor were any of Rockman's wishes answered. Okay, that wasn't true, but only one of them was answered, and the blue navi had to wish once again that whatever deity had answered the other one instead – but beggars can't be choosers. Blues had finally shown his face after so long, even if it was to "drop by and give my [his] greetings".
"I'm no longer the Blues whom you all knew before. Swearing loyalty to Laserman-sama, I am currently Nebula's leading member Blues."
That had almost led Rockman to a huge system crash if Roll hadn't been there to comfort him afterwards, while Meiru and Netto watched over Enzan. The pink navi had approached him warily as if she expected him to lash out at her, before finally deciding that he was not going to have any violent tendencies and taking a seat beside him on the floor of his PET, leaning against a large digital box alongside him.
She placed a hand on his shoulder, squirmed a little and spoke in a soft tone.
"Rockman… Are you alright?" He nodded, and his brain – which apparently decided to save him from any potential crashing – decided to bring his thoughts to his battle with Sparkman using Blues Soul prior to Blues' – ehem – not-so-friendly visit.
The activation of the Soul Unison had oddly made his core hurt – it seemed to really like doing that nowadays –, although it had the opposite effect on his battle systems and routines, and he couldn't help but to wonder if it was going to continue like that from now on. Because Netto wouldn't like it, and Rockman doubted that his battle systems would as well, as Blues Soul did give a powerful boost to all of his routines and stats (except HP; that was Roll's forte), it was something powerful that would definitely be needed in battle.
To not be able to use it – or rather, be in emotional pain while using it – would just be risky in dangerous situations because he wouldn't be able to concentrate, and for a brief moment he wondered if he should let Netto know about the negative effect before dismissing it – the pain wasn't so bad, and Rockman didn't want to let Blues' power go to waste.
"Rockman?" He snapped his attention back into reality when a pink-covered hand waved insistently in front of him, blinking confusedly before finding himself staring into concerned green eyes.
"Roll-chan?"
"You seemed… spaced out. Are you sure you're alright? I'm always here if you need someone to talk to you know." Rockman smiled – a fond one which Roll hasn't seen for quite a while – and replied, "Thanks Roll-chan, I really appreciate it but I have to refuse… Could you please leave me alone for a while?" He needed to reorganize his thoughts about the whole day – and especially about Blues' visit.
Luckily for him, Roll seemed to understand because she nodded, stood up, gave him another comforting pat on the shoulder and logged out of his PET systems. Rockman sighed, deactivated the infrared and internet connection – to prevent further visits from anyone – before leaning back against the box again. Closing his eyes, he was bombarded with the image of Blues' aristocratic sneer as he announced his position in Nebula – and renouncing Enzan as his operator in the process. Rockman winced at the memory, but his eyes didn't open – as it would have before.
He didn't get it – Blues' hundred-and-eighty degrees change in personality, because despite the dark chip, there still shouldn't have been this much of a change… The dark chip gave the Navi power and destroyed his or her emotional AI – technically it turns them insane. But Blues had looked like he was in complete control of himself. Something was really wrong. Rockman thought as he took off his helmet and ruffled his hair with his right hand, the other tracing the yellow pattern on his blue helmet absently. Blues' words replaying again and again in his head, like a broken record, and the logical part of Rockman's mind – which had already processed those words and the meaning of them a long time ago – tried once again to remind his heart – and the more emotional part of his mind – that Blues was no longer on his side, and that he had changed, so they should just be accepting it instead of continuous pondering on that matter, thankyouverymuch.
But, the emotional part of him shot back, Blues is still Blues, right…? There was no way the original him could have disappeared so easily. Blues was stronger than this, Rockman knew that.
However, everything that he had seen up until now proved his thoughts wrong.
For the next few days, nothing much really happened – as usual –, other than Papa telling Netto and he that Sci-Labs was going to collaborate with IPC for the Advanced PET II and Battle Chip Gate for improvements in Cross Fusion. Netto had became really enthusiastic about it before deflating like a balloon when Yuuichirou commented that it was still in planning stages and would take quite a while to finish.
However, Enzan's visit to their household really was unexpected for both he and Netto.
"I need to talk to you, Netto." Out of curiosity, he raised the volume of the audio input higher and activated the external camera of the PET. He knew what the two wanted to talk about – Blues, of course, who or what else? – but he really was wondering about Enzan's view on the whole thing so far.
Disappointment rushed in when Mama announced that she needed to borrow Rockman for a while – Haruka seemed to have noticed the atmosphere between the two boys and probably didn't want him to interrupt – however after Enzan and Netto had left, Mama shot him a look.
"Rockman, let's go."
Then he realised, being with Mama might make the whole scenario easier – and less awkward – for him, and he nodded.
"Enzan… To be honest, I needed to speak to you as well…" At this, he raised the volume to the max – because they were standing quite a distance away in order to eavesdrop – "… At that time, I believe I was the one who was trying to use the dark chip – " Enzan didn't give Netto a chance to finish.
"I agree with you on that." Rockman saw his twin brother's look of confusion and was sure he mirrored it as well.
"I made a judgment mistake then. That time, if either of us didn't use the dark chip, everyone wouldn't have returned here alive. So Netto, your judgment was correct," He turned haughtily and Rockman couldn't help but to tense slightly in defense.
"Enzan…"
"We should have left not Rockman, but Blues behind." At that, Rockman winced and looked away guiltily. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?!" He heard Netto should indignantly.
"Let's say, if at that time, the one devoured by the dark soul was Rockman. Blues' and I wouldn't hesitate to," here Rockman vaguely saw a sneer, "delete him." And then, Rockman felt his brain go blank, Enzan's words fixing and making itself prominent in his memory files, a glaring mark refusing to budge. Would Blues do that? Or would he be like Rockman, refusing to comply with his wishes to be deleted, only to become a corrupted navi?
"Enzan…"
"If that's all you can say why don't you go back? You just wanted to laugh at me didn't you? The pitiful operator who abandoned his navi…"
Now that the blue navi thought about it, did Blues hate him? Indirectly, Rockman was also one of the reasons why he had become like this currently. And the blue bomber felt guilty…
"I have no reason to say anything! You were the one who made that assumption!"
"You little… Let me go!"
Because of his own weakness – the weakness of unable to lose Blues – he couldn't delete his lover on his request. It could have probably freed his lover from the dark abyss. But he didn't.
"Rockman… delete me…"
"You were shaking. Didn't see that coming did you?"
"That doesn't matter!"
The image of Blues clutching his head in mindless pain, his screams and the image of the dark aura engulfing him appeared in Rockman's head again, causing tears to gather. He tried to shake them away futilely while pointedly ignoring the piercing pain in his core.
"You have no idea how much I'm worried about you two!"
"Exactly! It was my entire fault! It's my fault that Blues is an enemy!" That made Rockman snap out of his stupor as he focused his attention on the viewing window once again, tears were gathering in Enzan's blue eyes and he unconsciously clenched his hands into fists.
"You saw it too, didn't you? Blues is now an enemy… and it's my fault… I don't deserve to be his operator…" Enzan… The tears were flowing freely now and Rockman resisted his own urge to cry as well when he saw the tears in Netto's eyes.
"You idiot! Aren't you Blues' operator?! No matter how much he changed, if you gave up and lost sight of him, we'll never get him back! And I… I don't want that!" Now, the brunet had begun to wipe away his tears using his sleeve. And Rockman had begun to cry for an entirely different reason, being ultra careful to not let his emotions seep through the link. Netto-kun…
He watched as Enzan muttered something too soft for his current audio settings to catch, and Netto slowly moved off the older boy to sit beside him, the soft afternoon breeze rustling their clothes, ruffling their hair and the crisp green coloured grass.
"The cake… was delicious." Rockman and Netto both perked up and eyed the prodigy at that, "Tell her that." Rockman saw Haruka smile from the front camera, and smiled lightly as Enzan and Netto said their goodbyes.
"Netto seemed to have grown a little ne Rockman? He's more adult-like now." The auburn coloured-haired woman commended and Rockman felt himself nodding in agreement.
"Yep!" He found himself grinning at his – no, Saito's, he had to remind himself– mother, and that it didn't feel fake at all. And somewhere inside himself a huge amount of negative emotions – of angst, sadness, guilt, blame – disappeared, and his core could function a little bit more properly again at Enzan's little confession. He was so caught up on his own guilt to really think about how Enzan thought. Now that he knew Enzan didn't hate him, somehow, he felt a little better. No longer is there the need to feel guilt, the fear that Enzan might hate him.
"But…"
He winced, placing a hand on his core.
"What is this bad feeling?"
A/N: I actually wrote a lot more, but it seems I got lazy and this was the best place to cut off for a chapter ;; oops.
Like I've said, I can't promise updates.