Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm.

~Abraham Lincoln

Lucy gripped her pillow tight and let her tears flow out. She tried to be as quiet as possible for fear of waking her roommate, Levy, up. She couldn't stand having people see her cry. She knew it just worried them and she didn't want to be a problem for them. Her nails dug deeper and her breaths became short.

Why am I so miserable?

She couldn't remember when it started exactly, only that she remembers since she was very young having these moments when it felt like it hurt to breathe, to think, to live. Her heart would be physically hurting her and she would often go to her father and tell him, but he never did anything. He told her that she was just trying to get his attention for the wrong reasons. So she never mentioned it to him again. She never understood why he was so careless with his words. She hated him and yet she still cared for him. Lucy steered her mind in a different direction, hoping to lessen the pain. Levy. Levy was her best friend. They were assigned as roommates in their first year of college and grew close. Lucy thought of her like a sister and loved her very much.

"Lucy?" A soft voice whispered. "Lucy are you crying?"

Shit. I woke up Levy.

Lucy remained still, hoping that she could pass for being asleep. She tried to even her breathing but she knew Levy could hear the snot being sucked back up. Lucy cringed and shrunk back in her blanket when she heard the ruffling of the sheets, signaling that Levy was getting out her bed.

"Lucy, please talk to me." Levy made her way to Lucy and sat on the bed, reaching her hand out to stroke her hair. "This is the third time this week. I'm getting really worried."

"I'm fine." Lucy replied but her voice faltered. She was weak. She would never pass for strong. The soothing feel of Levy running her fingers through her hair calmed her a bit. She yawned and her whole body felt exhausted. "What time is it?"

Levy glanced at her digital clock by her nightstand. "A little after three." She heard a grunt come from underneath the blanket. "Don't grunt. It's Friday. Well.. Technically Saturday now, but we get a chance to sleep in tomorrow." Levy tried to comfort.

"I can't sleep." Lucy grumbled. Levy frowned, then pulled the blankets off of Lucy.

"Come on. Get dressed. Since you can't sleep, lets go to Fairy Tail." Levy loved Fairy Tail. It was a cafe in the back of town that was open 24/7. It was a welcoming atmosphere and filled with all sorts of different guests and employees. Levy had been wanting to go during the early morning times. She's heard that's when the best of the best employees work and have the time of their lives. "I heard it pretty amazing during these hours."

"But I look like garbage," Lucy moaned sitting up and facing her friend with her red puffy eyes. She wiped away the lingering tears and gave Levy a smile. "I'll go though, if you promise not to tell Jet and Droy I was crying. Last time you did, they followed me all day chanting positive things."

Levy grinned. "They were only trying to make you feel better." Lucy rolled her eyes. "But fine, I won't say anything to them this time."

Within twenty minutes the two ladies were headed out for the night. Fairy Tail was only two blocks away but each girl carried their own pepper spray as precautions. Lucy tugged at her sleeves on her blue hoodie. She loved Levy but it was getting late in fall and the wind was picking up. She wished they had just stayed at their room. She watched as her best friend strode along the sidewalk with her wavy blue hair flowing behind her. Levy was her foundation. She relied on her a lot and every day was thankful for her. With her blonde hair, she managed to just make a small side pony tail while the rest of it hung down. She applied some cover up to hide her bags. Lucy had felt okay leaving the dorm but now she was nervous. Who knows what kind of people hung out late at cafes?

Once they arrived on the street of Fairy Tail, Lucy could already hear some commotion coming from the building. She bit her lip and peeked at Levy, who seemed not bothered by it at all. If anything it looked like her excitement was building up. Suddenly her hand was being grabbed and she was dragging behind Levy.

"Let's go, Lucy! I'll buy you a coffee once we get there and then you can talk to me, okay?" Lucy just nodded. She didn't want to talk. She didn't know what she would even say.

Upon entering, the two girls realized that the second floor was open for once and that they had many more tables set out than usual. The music was more upbeat and people were littered about. Lucy noticed many of them were college looking students and some older adults. Her and Levy made their way to a booth on the side.

"Let me go order our drinks, okay?" Lucy nodded at Levy. "You want hot chocolate?" Levy got the same response. Her friend looked tired. Levy wanted to do everything she could to help. "Alright, I'll be back."

I wish I was strong.

Even with Levy trying to make things better she just felt guilty. This wasn't the first time Levy has tried to console her and it again probably won't be the last. They also tend to never make her feel better. Lucy would rather have her best friend think she was helping than have her worry all the time. Her stomach twisted in knots. I just need to smile. Smiling is the key.

Levy came back and sat down across from Lucy and handed her drink to her. Lucy took small sips and stared at the crowd around her. She could feel her companions stare and avoided looking her way.

"Luuucyy... Don't avoid me. I want to help." Levy noticed the blonde shrink back into her seat, holding her cup close to her lips. "You can talk to me. Something is obviously bothering you."

"I don't know what to say. You know me from the inside out, but somethings I just can't explain." She shrugged. She didn't know how to even explain it. Like, how at random times when she is surrounded by friends but feel like she's alone. Or how in the middle of a laughing fit she will just stop because a gray cloud has found a home in her chest. She didn't know and she didn't understand.

"Do you think it has anything to do with your father?" Levy placed her coffee down. "Have you heard from him in a while?"

Lucy shook her head. Taking another sip, she continued. "I haven't heard from him in two months."

Levy huffed. "Well that can't help your emotions at all."

"Levy, it has nothing to do with him, okay? I've just..." Her sentence faded out. Lost again in her own words. "I've always felt like this. Since I was a little girl. My mother was the only one who knew. After she passed I tried to talk to him about it and he wrote me off as an attention seeker." Her hands felt cold despite hanging on to the warm mug. "So I just never brought it up again. Besides, I never really had anyone until I came to college. You are the only person who really knows about it." She felt her chest tighten and throat felt like it was closing. "Excuse me. I need some air... Alone." She whispered that last part.

Her body felt heavy as she stumbled out of the cafe. She walked to the side of the building and stopped. If she had stayed there any longer she knew she would have broke down. I'm sorry Levy!

She leaned against the wall and finally took in her surroundings after gathering herself. It was dark with just a couple streetlights making some areas viewable. She couldn't see much but she could hear from around the corner a group of men. She felt her heart speed up and she reached in her pocket for her pepper spray. She twisted the safety lock and brought it close to her chest. The men got louder and she could definitely tell they had been drinking. She looked around her and saw the alleyway behind the cafe was dark enough to hide her.

She slipped around the corner and pushed herself as close to the dark wall as possible and waited for the men to pass. When they did she counted out six of them. Thankfully, not single one even looked down the alleyway. When they all passed and she made sure they were a good block away she let out a breath. She relaxed and was about to go back inside with Levy when out of no where a voice came from behind her.

"Who are you?" Before she could even process what he said she turned towards the source and raised her spray and pushed down on it.

"OH MY GOD! WHY!?"

"YOU SCARED ME I'M SORRY!"

Well thats it for now! I hope you guys like it so far! Please leave me some reviews and favorite if you'd like!