AN: So I was reading I Hate Everything by Matthew DiBenedetti, and all I could think was Ccccrrrraaaaiiiigggg. And so this was born. You probably shouldn't even bother reading this, unless you're bored. It's a light piece, no angst whatsoever. Pretty much. Unless you take this shit personally and/or start analyzing the hell out of it. Which you're free to do, if you feel so inclined.

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I hate stupid people.

I hate when people have their moral stick shoved so far up their ass they can't help but spew it out their mouths.

I hate religion.

I hate how saying I hate religion isn't quite accurate.

I hate the reason religion exists.

I hate that I can't blame them for creating religion.

I hate people who change the meaning of religion.

I hate that people keep trying to change the reason.

I hate that it's pretty damn hard to either prove or disprove religious (being a Deist is much easier.)

I hate small and fuzzy animals, not matter how cute, because they always shit everywhere, and after that stage they aren't cute anymore.

I hate that I'm shallow enough for that to matter.

I hate family obligations.

I hate how my family always expects me to feel obligated to them.

I hate how anyone thinks anyone is obligated to anyone.

I hate how heavy the word obligation is.

I hate how much the word obligation pisses me off. Same goes with destiny and anything related to the sort.

I hate how you always have to be obligated to people you love.

I hate how one forth of Americans are retarded.

I hate how it's not all Americans.

I hate how it's impossible to get away from stupid people.

I hate how easy it is to hate people.

I hate that not all people deserve being hated.

I hate how most people don't deserve being hated.

I hate how I still do.

I hate mornings.

I hate it when my curtains aren't closed all the way and when I wake up the sun burns a hole or two through my retinas.

I hate that I quite literally can't convince myself to crawl out of bed until Tweek starts screaming about the damn [insert morning stress here.]

I hate how I can't hate Tweek, because he's really damn annoying.

I hate how much I don't hate Tweek, sometimes- most of the time it's pretty cool.

I hate romance.

I hate Tweek's starry-eyes romancing stares.

I hate my inability to not to go along with that look.

I hate stupid beards.

I hate cats.

And dogs.

Not guinea pigs.

I hate Peru.

I hate Tweek's friends. They're all annoying. And I can't sleep with any of them.

I hate that sometimes the only way I can think to shut Pip up is to shove my dick in his mouth.

I hate that my reasoning not to has no moral base.

I hate that the first thing that pops into my mind is Damien would kill me.

I hate Tweek's devastated face that pops up next.

I hate that my spank bank is quickly diminishing due to that imaginary face.

I hate Clyde's put-on voice he uses to sound smart.

I hate that it sounds just like my voice.

I hate never being able to tell if I'm being an asshole or a douche bag, of which there is a massive difference.

I hate my sucky car.

I hate my sucky room that I'm forced to keep bland because of my freaking parents.

I hate that the best thing in it is Tweek.

I hate how he never breaks in often enough.

I hate bad jokes.

I hate the fake laugh people use after a bad joke is told.

I hate when people think being crude is the same as being funny and/or cool.

I hate when swearing is immediately categorized as being crude. Pull your head out of your ass. Everyone swears. Excessively. Even Tweek. People who don't… I don't get it.

I hate when people try to understand the world.

I hate when people don't try to understand the world.

I hate that the world isn't common knowledge.

I hate how boring life is.

I hate how hard it is.

I hate it when people talk about how hard it is.

I hate it when people act like life isn't hard.

I hate the phrase life sucks, it's completely unhelpful.

I hate people who are miserable all the time, and complain about it.

I hate people who are happy all the time.

I hate people with no sense of humor.

I hate stupid people.

I hate drama.

I hate that people can never just let it go.

I hate being pissed at people.

I hate living in South Park.

I hate it when girls think they're better than boys.

I hate it when boys think they're better than girls.

I hate it when anyone thinks they're anything but shit- not the cool kind either.

I hate that people think it's a bad thing to be shit.

I hate anyone who doesn't know that pretty much everyone is one part shit.

I hate that because males are bigger pervs, no one acknowledges the female pervs of the world, of which there are many.

I hate that being a slut is a bad thing.

I hate that it's only a bad thing if you're a girl.

I hate that males get all these free passes.

I hate that because of these free passes girls are pissed at us and think we're all a bunch of sex-obsessed idiots.

I hate that it's pretty much true, but so are they.

I hate that most social issues involving sex and sexism are put upon by ourselves.

I hate that so many girls are so mean.

I hate when people call Tweek a girl because there are several obvious differences that don't stop at his dick.

I hate it when people try to understand Tweek.

I hate the ignorantly angry looks he gets.

I hate the pitying ones more.

I hate how shy those looks make him.

I hate how nervous he gets.

I hate that he hates my hate lists.

I hate it when people act like it's unnatural to hate.

I hate when hate is taken too seriously.

I hate when it's not taken seriously enough.

I hate the amount of oxymorons that are involved in my hate.

I hate when things are overanalyzed.

I hate it when my English teachers make us analyze the ever-loving shit out of everything.

I hate that they think that authors honestly, consciously try to put that many fucking metaphors into their work.

I hate that they don't get that you take what you take from books.

I hate the shitty books they make us read.

I hate that not all books are shitty, just the ones we read in class.

I hate that old instantly translates into good in the eyes of literature.

I hate that I've honestly never read any of the books said teachers have us read, so I can't really pass judgment on them.

I hate tacos.

I hate pie.

I hate completely planned out "randomness."

I hate it when people try too hard.

I hate it when people don't try at all, and then bitch about how the world isn't falling into their laps.

I hate that Tweek never stands up for himself.

I hate coffee.

I hate coffee mostly because Tweek doesn't drink coffee anymore because I say I hate it.

I hate sneaking out for midnight coffee runs.

I hate how sick coffee made Tweek.

I hate manipulation.

I hate hard video games.

I hate having to pause hard video games every five seconds to look at Cheatcc after having died fifty fucking times.

I hate having a certain amount of lives in video games.

I hate repitition in video games (yes, you, The Legend of Zelda: The Phantom Hourglass. Fuck you and your fucking Temple of the fucking Ocean King. FUCK YOU UP YOUR NONLUBED ASS!)

I hate how bad Tweek owns my ass at video games.

I hate having to remind people that I don't actually mind because it makes him happy.

I hate noise.

I hate screaming.

I hate my inability to handle kids- they freak me out.

I hate arguing with Tweek, especially when he's right.

I hate that I'm the only person that Tweek argues with.

I hate that our friends always get this worried look when we argue, because we do it a lot.

I hate that they forget that for us, arguing is the same discussing.

I hate that they forget we very much like to debate.

I hate not being able to argue with them because they take it personally.

I hate that it's impossible to argue with them because they're completely devoted to their views are refuse to change their minds about anything.

I hate other people's stubbornness- it clashes with my own.

I hate sounding like a hypocrite.

I hate hypocrites who act like they don't know they're completely full of themselves.

I hate it when they honestly don't.

I hate people who think they always have the right answer.

I hate people who think they always have the wrong answer.

I hate Mondays.

I hate PDAs.

I hate being one half of those obnoxious PDA couples.

I hate when people glare at us

I hate when people aw at us.

I hate how mad they look when I flip them off. They shouldn't have been lurking.

I hate it being impossible not to get into being an obnoxious PDA couple when it's Tweek, because he always needs comforting and it's hard not to shove your tongue down his throat when you know perfectly well that's what calms him down best.

I hate how people assume just because I hate a lot of shit that I'm miserable.

I hate how teachers very rarely respect students.

I hate how too many students don't deserve respect and still want it.

I hate how it's impossible to avoid these students unless you're in honors, in which there's more work.

I hate how it's still impossible to completely avoid those fuckers.

I hate smart stupid people.

I hate stupid smart people.

I hate the color red.

I hate it when my sister asks for money.

I hate that saying no can make you a bad person.

I hate that people don't understand that saying no doesn't always make the other person selfish.

I hate that they don't understand that being mad at them sometimes makes you the selfish one.

I hate how much easier it is to make sweeping generalizations than it is to say some or This Group.

I hate that nearly all knowledge is, for the most part, completely useless unless you're playing Trivial Pursuit.

I hate hearing people say stupid shit.

I hate how correcting them can make me a douche.

I hate how people don't know that ho is spelled H-O. A hoe is a garden tool.

I hate that whenever someone flirts with me, Tweek always thinks I enjoy it. No matter how cute his jealousy is, there's nothing cool about him crying about me leaving him.

I hate that there's so much fucking bullshit to hate in this world.

I hate that there's plenty to love, too, but the things to hate will always outnumber those.

I hate that Tweek has a point when he says that actively looking for things to hate makes things worse.

I hate that stating the things you hate feels so good.

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AN 2.0: And… done. Waste of time? Probably. Fun to write? Indeed.