Six Fridges
Jay knew she was going to kill him for this. It was a bittersweet joke, a memory from long ago when she had first planned their lives together after tricking the staff in the psychiatric ward she had been staying on and not taking the tablets that had become a day to day thing now.
He didn't love her any less for being dosed up on them, far from it. He thought she was the most brave and beautiful person for coming to terms with her illness and getting help.
He remembered how he had almost laughed when Charlie told him the story. How it had brightened his day when he was worrying about the cancer but at the same time saddened him. It stuck in the back of his mind when she returned to work.
He felt guilty. Guilty he couldn't be there for her when she needed him, guilty that in the end she was the one that was there for him.
"I think if you had been there then we wouldn't be together now"
She had told him one evening when he confessed how guilty he felt.
She was probably right. As always.
They both had extremely bad timing. Jay decided as he flicked on the power switch and stepped back to admire his handy work.
It had been a difficult year full of heartache and drama. Those two months while Ruth was in the psychiatric unit put so much distance between the pair of them that Jay was convinced that that was that and they were destined to grow apart. He had visited her once after a phone call from Charlie and she did not try to contact him again after that though to be fair he never made an effort to contact her either. He had so much on his mind that it wasn't until one Tuesday morning that he even realised it had been well over a month since they had spoken and the only reason he realised that was due to a totally unexpected appearance in the staffroom.
He had been up all night with his Nan, he may have been given the all clear himself but his Nan's condition was still slowly deteriorating and he was too stubborn to let her go back into a home. Balancing work and caring for her was taking its toll even if he was pretending it wasn't. He had done half an hour of his shift and he was already exhausted, slipping into the staffroom he checked no one was there and then flopped on to sofa, head in his hands sighing deeply, he'd give anything for a bit of a nap right now.
"You ok?"
He hadn't expected to hear that voice today. He hadn't expected to hear any voice. He removed his head from his hands and looked up to see Ruth looking neat and tidy in a crispy clean pair of bright green scrubs watching him with a semi worried look on her face. It was like time had suddenly gone backwards as he looked into her grey-blue eyes and saw the concern.
He lent back faking a laid back expression as she shuffled her feet awkwardly.
"Yeah. I'm fine." He lied "What are you doing here? Are you back?" he added as he reached up a hand to wipe away a stray tear
"Yeah I am." She replied stepping forwards, he could almost feel her awkwardness, she really wasn't famed for her ability with people and he knew it but he could feel her concern. "Are you sure?"
"I'm fine." He looked into her eyes trying to reassure her
"You don't look fine." She pointed out sitting down next to him "Do you want to talk?" she offered
"I'm ok, really" he tried to persuade her though he didn't sound particularly convincing.
"You don't have to but a problem shared and all that…" Jay looked up at her with a look of slight disbelieve that the frosty Ruth he knew that often struggled to communicate full stop was saying such a thing. " I've had the 'it's good to talk' talk repeatedly for the past two months…" she admitted with a small smile "It doesn't matter" she stood up blushing slightly
"No." Jay said immediately not wanting to hurt Ruth's feelings "Thanks Ruth but don't worry about me honestly, just a bad day…" he sighed "I'm glad your back."
"Me too." She smiled slightly "I should get to work…"
"See you later?" Jay asked
"See you later." Ruth nodded leaving the staffroom and Jay behind.
As much as he had wanted to blurt everything out to Ruth that day he cared too much to put that weight on her shoulders.
They remained awkward acquaintances for the following month. Jay avoiding Ruth, Ruth avoiding Jay, they got on with their lives side by side in the department. It wasn't until the following month when the doors of the emergency department banged open as usual but a very unusual patient appeared that they really talked again.
"Maryam Shakiba, Severe breathing difficulties."
Ruth stepped forwards and looking immediately into the concerned and exhausted eyes of Jay who was running alongside the trolley.
"I want to help!" He had argued as they entered the department
Tess had eventually persuaded him to watch and he had done just that, his eyes fixed on Ruth as she checked over his Nan. It had been the most painful half hour of his life as he watched them stabilise her. Ruth snapped off her rubber gloves and turned to face him. He could feel her awkwardness immediately.
"She's stable" She reassured him "but… I don't think…" she didn't know how to put this especially not to him but he nodded slightly knowing exactly what she was going to say. "I'm sorry Jay." She reached out and touched him arm. She was probably the only person who knew exactly how much his Nan meant to him.
"That's life." Jay replied trying to sound like he wasn't so bothered but failing spectacularly
Her eyes scanned him obviously trying to figure the right words to say. She couldn't seem to find them and Jay felt her fingers slip between his. The gesture he had often used to comfort her in the past.
"She's not dying in here." He suddenly blurted out taking one look at the bed before looking back to Ruth "Ruth you have to help me."
"How?" Ruth looked into his eyes
"We have to take her home."
She had tried to reason with Jay but he insisted that the last place his Nan would want to be when she was clinging to life was in a hospital ward, she deserved to die with dignity. That was how they found themselves at Jay's house, with a semi-conscious Maryam tucked up in her own bed.
"Thanks." Jay had mumbled as he turned from Maryam to face Ruth who was awkwardly standing near the door
"No problem" Ruth nodded
It was a waiting game and Jay was shocked when Ruth declared that she would stick around to help keep Maryam comfortable saying that Jay was in no fit state to care for her medically.
That was how they started to talk. The night passed slowly Maryam drifted in and out of consciousness leaving plenty of moments of silence
"You could have talked to me." Ruth blurted out about midnight "I know I'm… a bit.. well useless… but I'd have listened and helped if I could have."
"You just got out of hospital yourself" Jay pointed out "We were ok."
"You always look exhausted, when was the last time you didn't go home from work and go straight to caring for your Nan?"
"When I was in…" Jay started then realising what he was going to say stopped "Does it really matter?"
"I know you love her and she loves you back but I'm sure she didn't expect you to run yourself into the ground looking after her!" Ruth pointed out "You look exhausted." She added
"I owe her." Jay replied dully "Just leave it ok."
"Ok." Ruth nodded
Silence fell once more between them. Jay tried to remain silence but it didn't last as long as he had tried to. Maryam awoke and smiled over at them slightly.
"Nurse Summers?"
"Yeah, just lending Jay a hand to keep you comfy." Ruth smiled slightly as she increased the oxygen.
Maryam nodded slightly then turned to Jay
"Why are we home?" she asked
"Because I want you to be comfortable." Jay said stepping up and gently brushing a strand of hair from her face
Maryam nodded and Ruth turned to see a look of realisation on her face.
"Don't you cause trouble Jamshid." She said simply as Ruth pretended to fiddle with the machines helping to keep Maryam alive.
"I don't!" Jay protested slightly with a small smile
"I'm proud of you." Maryam added as she closed her eyes and drifted back off to sleep.
Jay fought back tears and sat back dabbing at his eyes with his sleeves as Ruth took up her seat again watching Maryam and Jay carefully. She figured anything she might have to say might make things worse so she settled n the chair wrapping her arms around her legs like a lost child. Jay didn't fail to notice this despite the sad feelings inside. He wiped at his face with his sleeve and watched his Nan. It was a matter of time and he was going to stay here and be there with her until the end.
The moment came around six am as the world was waking and Jay and Ruth were both fighting tiredness. Maryam began to struggle for breath much more than before. Ruth immediately stepped forwards whilst Jay paced the room and tried to help but her chest was too weak. She took one last rattling breath and Ruth gently checked her pulse. She was gone. She nodded to Jay to confirm his worst fears and watched as the tears fell down his face. Ruth gently brushed her hand over Maryam's forehead and muttered something Jay could not hear before turning to him.
"I'm sorry." Ruth had said simply unsure how to comfort him
"Thanks for being here." Jay said dully his face was tear-streaked
Ruth simply wrapped her arms around him and he broke down.
That was what Jay liked to think of as the start. Not the end. His Nan had unknowingly brought him closer to Ruth. The frosty doctor was forced to be sympathetic and Jay remembered why he had loved her in the first place. She was awkward, she was a little lost, but she had a good heart, she was smart and she was beautiful.
That night was really the start. Jay found himself calling her when he was feeling down to go out for a drink and going for a drink somehow led to their relationship being rekindled. Through those times they discussed everything and anything. He had even told her about the cancer and was shocked at how well she took it, telling him that she wished he could have told her. He honestly wished he had too because what the past month had proved to him was that Ruth would be there for him no matter how bad the going.
They had just got their own flat. Ruth could no longer crash in Charlie's spare room and Jay could no longer remain in his childhood home. It was too painful. Jay had hinted at the idea for a week before Ruth suggested it outright. He let her lead the way, he knew her well enough to know that she liked to make the decisions for herself.
In fact maybe he knew her too well. Well enough to know she would probably find this idea more annoying than funny but he hoped she would approve in the end.
The door opened and Ruth's voice echoed through the flat. Jay grinned to himself as he leant on the first fridge in the kitchen.
"In here!" he smiled
Ruth stepped into the kitchen took one look at the fridge Jay was leaning on and at his cheeky grin and then looked him in the eye.
"What have you done?" she demanded immediately
"Well since we are moving in together I thought we might need a fridge…" Jay said innocently "Or two…" he gestured at the dining area of the kitchen where the second of the six fridges was plugged in. "You need six fridges when you move in with someone don't you?" Jay joked
Ruth was smart and she immediately began to blush.
"You haven't…"
Jay laughed.
"Jay…" Ruth warned "If you've…" she immediately headed through to the kitchen "Jamshid Faldren!" She screeched through fro mthe living room where Jay knew she had come face to face with another two fridges.
"What babe I thought you liked fridges!" Jay joked as Ruth appeared looking fuming "Thought it was a winters family thing." Jay winked cheekily
Ruth rolled her eyes and vanished out of sight but soon screeched once more.
"Six!" She could he heard saying "Six! Jay I am going to kill you!"
Jay sniggered ot himself finding her reaction amusing
"You're the one who went out and brought six when you thought we were going to get back together I thought it would make you happy." Jay chuckled as he wandered inot the bedroom where Ruth was shaking her head at the last two fridges
"I was ill!" She turned and pulled a face
"It was funny." Jay pointed out "that story made me laugh for days!"
Ruth blushed
"I brought them for a reason." Jay said innocently he grabbed her hand and dragged her through to the kitchen "Look inside them!" Jay suggested "I numbered them so make sure you go in order of course!" he added pointing to a little plastic magnetic number on the first fridge
"What is this? Some game?" Ruth asked raising an eyebrow
"Just do it Doctor Winters." Jay grinned
Ruth rolled her eyes. She placed her hand on the first fridge door and opened it to reveal two microwave lasagnes.
"Remember I can't cook." Jay winked
Ruth shook her head as she headed across the kitchen and opened the second fridge to reveal two beautifully decorated cupcakes.
"Strawberry, your favourite!" Jay grinned
She wandered through to the living room with Jay on her tail and opened the fridge labelled three revealing a bottle of champagne.
"Someone is pushing the boat out a bit here…" Ruth pointed out raising an eyebrow
"Well you're worth it." Jay smiled as Ruth opened number four.
"A Teddy?" Ruth asked holding it up
"It's cute!" Jay said defensively as Ruth tucked it under her own secretly finding it cute.
"What's next? A Cat?" Ruth asked slightly sarcastically
"No!" Jay laughed "Open it!"
She stepped through to the bedroom and opened up number five to reveal a beautiful blue silk dress.
"That's beautiful!" Ruth smiled as she examined it.
"Leave number six." Jay jumped in immediately as Ruth reached for the door "I'll put the lasagne's on and you get changed, six is for later…"
Ruth raised an eyebrow again.
"Please tell me it has nothing to do with the so called toy you were getting excited about last night…" Ruth trailed off as Jay began laughing hysterically
"No not for that late on…" He winked and Ruth blushed "Look just get dressed and you can look!" Jay said excitedly
"Ok…" Ruth said "get lost then." Jay saluted her and vanished from the room as a sceptical Ruth put on her dress and eyed up the final fridge. She wanted to look. She half expected something alive or highly embarrassing to jump out at any minute. She jumped as Jay knocked on the bedroom door and stuck his head around it. He wanted this evening to be perfect down to the last detail including the shirt he had throw on.
"Are you ready yet?" he asked excitedly
"Yeah." She looked up at him and smiled as he offered her a hand, as soon as she was on her feet Jay spoke up excitedly.
"Open it" He grinned Ruth eyed him suspiciously and did just that to find a small box. She reached in and picked it up and turned to face Jay.
"What…" She looked down at Jay who was on one knee
"Open the box" Jay said simply and Ruth did so, her heard beating faster
She looked down at the simple silver ring and then into Jay's eyes.
"Will you marry me?" he asked nervously
"I…" Ruth's jaw drop she was not expecting this but at the same time she could not think of anything she wanted more. She grinned and nodded speechless, words failing her but her nodding head telling Jay all he needed to know.
He jumped up and wrapped his arms around her.
"It's now we get our happily ever after Cinders." He announced pulling from the hug and looking into her eyes "Things are going to start going right now, I can just feel it..." He grinned before leaning forwards and pressing his lips against hers gently.
"I love you Ruth." Jay said simply
"I love you to Jay." Ruth replied with a smile, if anyone else had brought six fridges Ruth would have sworn that they were laughing behind her back but Jay had turned her mad moment into something that meant a lot more.
"We have one problem now…" Jay said looking into her eyes
"What?" Ruth asked looking a little concerned
"What the hell else do we do with six fridges?" Jay asked innocently as Ruth burst out laughing.