Disclaimer: I don't own Pretty Little Liars.

Paily or Emison?

Dear book!

Now that things are taking another twist with Ali returning and all of that, I get really confused. Paige is so awesome, but I might still have some leftover feelings for Ali. She was my first serious lesbian love and that's not something a girl simply forget in a hand-flip.

Oh, what to do? This is far from easy.

Perhaps I should ask Spencer for advice, but she's busy with everything that she has to deal with in her own life.

I can ask Aria. She's almost as smart as Spencer and she usually know the right things to say.

Life's never been easy for me and the girls since that damn night in Spencie's barn when we had the infamous sleepover and Ali disappeared.

Sometimes I wish I could go back to being a little kid. Everything was much more easy then. Just having fun, no cares in the world. Being adorable was what life was all about when me was Little Emily.

These days, life's about trying to find out who -A is, being worried all the time that my friends might be in danger and always keeping your eyes open, in case something bad will happen.

I really hope that we can finally stop -A, whoever it is, soon and go back to having a life. That's what I want most in the entire world right now.

Being me right now is not really amazing. Sure, I have my friends and I have Paige and maybe also Alison, but I want a normal life again, a life where I don't have to be afraid that -A will hurt the people I love.

Oh dear. My heart is in pain. I really love Paige, but Alison is so hot too and...

What should I do?

I really need help.

I don't have many people who I trust enough to ask for help. My parents are awesome, but they can't help me with this. Spencer is smart, but she's too busy. Aria...

Yes, I could ask Aria. She's very close to being as smart as Spencer and she's a good person.

This is such a bad thing to say...somehow I wish Ali wasn't back, cause then my love life would be so much more easy. I'd be with Paige and that would be it. Now with Ali back in Rosewood, things are far from easy.

( knock on wood )

Anyways...

I really hope the whole thing with -A is over soon so I can be sweet happy Emily again. I'm tired of having to be on edge all the time. Since we got the first txt-message from -A all those years ago, I haven't been able to fully relax many times.

What I want is some peace in my life. Some joy and sunshine. Good moments with Paige...or Alison...and with Aria, Hanna and Spencer.

Okay. I'm gonna go find Aria and ask her for advice on my Paily / Emison problem.

Big kiss from Em Fields.