Everything happened so fast, and to be fair, Baz is too busy wrenching to even recall specifically how he landed himself in this position. Too much of it is a blur.

For the first time in months, Penny is going to be gone for more than one night and Simon asked him to stay overnight... every night that she's gone. They've shared a dorm before so the reality of it was not difficult to grasp. The butterfly inducing aspect of it is the pure domesticity of proper living together. The cooking, cleaning, eating, and sleeping together as a proper couple for two whole weeks...

Baz should have known that it wouldn't take long before things got heated. Nobody's first time is perfect, he didn't assume, but it was going to be perfect because he going to do it with Simon Snow. An openly out Simon Snow who loves him! Baz should have taken precautions, he knew, but kissing transitioned to undressing seamlessly. He didn't even notice that it was happening. What happened after that, well, he just doesn't remember.

Now he's lurching over a toilet with Simon off to the side in the shower. Shakily he is holding a bottle of peroxide over his arm. The liquid is pouring and sizzling against the fresh wound just a few inches below his shoulder. Baz catches sight of it and it manages to make him feel even worse; "Search online for ways to get poison out of your body!"

Simon raises a brow, he can sense it, but does as he is told. He drops the peroxide, which wasn't a terrible idea at the foundation of its reasoning, but certainly wouldn't help for vampire venom. Simon asks Siri to search for ways to get poison out of a person's body. The top result is a bit of a concern, at least to Baz.

"The internet says to suck it out, but not to swallow!"

"I didn't tell you to Google blow jobs, Simon!" Baz will never know how he manages a joke during a serious situation like this, but when in doubt: mock the love of one's life, right? That's how he's always coped with his extreme feelings for Simon. He makes a face – not a positive one – as Baz feels yet another wave of vomit burn his esophagus.

"Fuck off, Baz!" Simon shouts with a better sense of urgency. He starts reading exactly from the webpage about sucking the blood back out being effective to remove it from the blood stream; "You have to suck my blood to save me from being turned, Baz!"

The idea is repulsive. What if he went too far and just kept drinking? Baz had to force his thoughts back on track as another mouthful of old blood swims up from his gut. Which is the bigger risk? Suck the blood from Simon's wound to get the poison out of him or letting him turn and deal with the consequences? He lifts his head, blood staining his chin and neck from throwing up so violently.

He stares into Simon's frightened eyes and shakes his head; "I won't do it."

"I'll turn, Pitch!" Simon has suffered many tragedies, and losing all of his magic is the most recent one. His identity is constantly being changed by outside forces. Poor guy never gets to properly decide who he is without the influence of another person. Baz feels being Simon's roommate was the best thing for him. Baz would never change Simon fucking Snow.

And somehow, here he is doing just the completely by accident; "It is a risk I won't take." Baz barely gets up on his feet; "I'll love you no matter what you are - even if it's a vampire dragon. You'll be my bloody vampire dragon."

Simon shakes his head loosely, leaning down to suck the venom from his own arm. Baz reaches out and grabs his chin, smashing his head harder than he anticipates against the shower backsplash. Simon wriggles beneath him in protest; "If you suck your own wound clean of the poison there will be a residue on your mouth, you sod! I will not risk your existence so long as I can still have your life, Snow!"

Simon begins tearing up. Baz wishes he could mute him, tell him to keep his mouth shut. He can't, though, and the man beneath him shudders; "I'm scared," he chokes out, "I'm scared." Breaths are coming more rapidly. The venom must be starting to take ahold of him. Panic is going to settle in his chest very rapidly.

Baz doesn't know what apology will ever be enough, if any. This is not who he is as a person or as a partner. Dangerous is what he creates but now who he is; he's dangerous to his enemies. He isn't supposed to be a threat to Simon Snow - not anymore.

"Baz," he says through his sobs, "I am so scared."

So he does the only thing he can think of and pulls Simon into him as close as he can manage. In the bathtub with bloody fingerprints and fizzling peroxide beneath them, Baz and Simon grieve for the terrible tragedy of their first attempt at sex. It would be unsurprising if this is their only attempt to be more intimate with one another.

For all the humor this incident may hold one day, it hurts now. Baz doesn't want to forget how badly it aches to be the reason Simon has to learn how to live all over again. This has to be his motivation to be careful with his boyfriend.

This is my first 'Carry On' fanfiction - so please don't drive me through! I've done my personal best to keep the characters as 'in character' as possible. I hope that you're pleased with the work and will stick around to keep reading!

Feel free to leave a comment with your praise or criticism! Leave a like if you're no good with words.

Or just CARRY ON reading, if you will, to show your support for my silly stories.

Thank you so very much 3

(Sorry for those that read this when it had all of the code! I hadn't realized that it was even there!)