Grissom made me become his test dummy one shift. I was already doing work on my own case when he asked me to help him.

"What do you want me to do?" I asked

"Lie down on the sheet." He said

I looked down at the clean white sheet on the floor. He motioned me down. I sighed wondering how long this was going to take. I laid down looking up at him. He seemed to be working things out in his head.

"What now?" I asked

He walked away getting something then he came back kneeling down straddling my body.

"Grissom!" I said

"Ssh." He said

I felt a tingle go through me as he leaned over tearing off some duct tape. He put it over my mouth then he grabbed my arms duct taping my wrists. I watched him put his hand over my nose and mouth gently thinking.

"He would have covered her face like this and then waited." He said, looking at his watch. I waited in silence. "Sara, struggle."

I moved as he held me.

"Stop." He said

I laid still as he sighed looking down at me.

"She must have struggled and then after a few minutes stopped."

I moaned wanting to be let loose. Grissom took off the tape as he moved off me sitting beside me. I rubbed my wrist sitting up. Grissom looked at me as I looked at him. I thought he was thinking still, but the way he was looking at me made me think otherwise. Our heads were near each other's.

"Are you done with me?" I asked

He recovered standing. He helped me up looking at me again.

"Uh yes." He said, looking down.

I left thinking that was weird that he was looking at me like that.

The next week I went to a closet door in the lab opening it to get some supplies. As the door shut I tried to open it again realizing I was locked in. Sighing, I pounded on the door. When no one came I went for my cell phone only to discover it was not in my pocket. I groaned pounding again.

Grissom walked out from his office seeing Nick walking by.

"Nick, have you seen Sara?"

Nick shrugged his shoulders.

"Not for an hour. She said something about needing supplies."

"Thank's." Grissom said, walking down the hallway to the closet. He looked around not seeing me.

I held myself on the floor feeling claustrophobic. Looking over, I saw a shadow of someone standing beside the door. I slid my hand under the door trying to get the attention of the person.

Grissom sighed getting out his cell phone looking down at it. His eyes caught sight of my fingers under the door. He put his cell phone away touching the handle trying to open it. It was not working. Grissom tried pulling it, but it was not working. He hit the door.

"Sara?"

I pounded almost near tears.

"Help me!"

"I can't open the door. I am going to get you out!"

"Please help me!"

Grissom got his phone out calling for help. I hit the door crying as I tried to keep it together. Grissom knelt down while he waited reaching under the door waiting for me to touch his fingers.

"Honey, I am getting you out." He said

I pounded on the door screaming.

"Calm down." He said "Touch my fingers."

I looked down wiping my tears with my hand. He sighed as I touched his fingers. He sat down on the floor allowing me to touch him.

I closed my eyes laying my head against the door.

"Talk to me, Gris."

"You just need to relax." He said

"It's to small!"

"You just need to think about something else." He said

He looked at his watch then he looked at the door. I opened my eyes looking around the lit room I was in. I felt his fingers leave mine.

"No…..Grissom?!" I shouted "Please don't leave me!"

"Sara, I am here. Calm down."

"I can't…..please get me out!"

"Sara!" Catherine called, knocking.

"Where is Grissom?"

"He's talking to Ecklie."

"I…I can't….breathe!" I said, breathing harder.

"Sara, close your eyes!" She said

"I…please!"

"Sara, do it!"

I slowly closed my eyes trying to picture myself anywhere else.

Grissom walked over to where Catherine was by the door.

"She is freaking out in there." Catherine said

"I called the locksmith." He said, looking at his watch.

Catherine tried the door, but it would not budge.

I drifted away from the situation. Jumping as Grissom knocked.

"Sara, you okay?"

I shook looking around.

"Sara?"

"Gris." I said, gently touching the door feeling tears come down my cheeks.

He knelt down reaching under for me. I reached down touching his fingers.

"You just need to hang on." He said

I sniffed nodding.

"Let's talk about what you ate at break." He said, looking over at Catherine talking to Nick.

"I didn't have anything to eat." I said

"Why not?"

"I wasn't hungry." I said, sniffing.

"I ate a sandwich and a pickle." He said

I smiled a little as I touched his fingers.

"You hate pickles."

"I thought I would try it."

I closed my eyes wishing I was out in the hallway.

"How are you holding up?"

"I am tired."

"Did you sleep last night?"

"No, nightmares."

"You've been having those a lot lately."

I laid back against the wall.

Catherine walked over with Nick.

"Grissom, Nick has a crowbar in his car."

"Get it."

Nick nodded running. Catherine touched the door as Grissom continued to touch my fingers.

I closed my eyes wanting to sleep. My fingers left his as I let sleep hit me.

"Sara?" He called "Sara, can you hear me?"

He stood looking at Catherine.

"Sara?" Catherine called

Nick ran in with a crowbar. He wedged it in the door pushing. Grissom watched him try with all his might.

"It's not budging!" Nick said

Grissom tried seeing that the door was not going to open. He sighed letting the crowbar fall to the floor. Catherine got on the phone yelling at the locksmith.

Grissom touched the door worried about me. I drifted breathing slowly not hearing them calling my name.

The lock smith appeared working on the door. Grissom paced as he waited. Catherine watched him pace. The man stood breaking off the lock opening the door. Grissom knelt by me as I laid back against the wall. He took my hand rubbing it.

I moved opening my eyes seeing him.

"Can you hear me?" He asked

"Grissom?"

He sighed watching as I moved.

I was taken to his office where I sat on his couch drinking a can of pop he got me. He stood watching my every move.

"Feel better?"

I nodded drinking more. I stood on my shaky legs walking over to throw away the can in the recycling bin that he had beside his desk. I turned facing him feeling self-conscious that he was looking at me.

"I'll finish up." I said

He moved out of my way. I walked to the door feeling his hand touch my arm. I turned as he came into my personal space.

"Are you okay to work?"

"I think so."

"If you're not, it's okay."

He searched my eyes as I searched his. I felt his hand come down to my hand. He was looking at me as he did in the lab. I took a slow breath trying not to look at his lips.

"I….good."

He didn't move as I shook. I felt an urge to kiss him. I doubted if he would push me away. I let my eyes go to his lips. The only noise in the room was the central air in the room.

"Grissom?" I said

"Yes?" He said, gently.

"Do you….?" I said, still looking at his lips then I went to his eyes.

"Do I?"

I searched his eyes seeing that he wasn't afraid, or nervous. I moved my head closer.

"Can I….?"

"What?" He asked

Our lips were just inches apart. I trembled excited that this was going to happen. He still made no move to escape.

Seeing as how he wasn't going to make the first move I decided I would. My lips grazed his then after a second I began to move closer firmly touching his lips with mine. He moaned as I slowly moved my lips across his.

We didn't touch each other. I didn't know this, but Grissom was a fantastic kisser. His lips were soft and warm on mine. He moaned again this time taking the lead. I felt his hands move to my waist. I moaned as he pulled me even closer putting his hand at my shoulder blades.

A knock at the door made Grissom move back looking at the door then he looked at me. He let me go and I sat down reeling from what happened. He opened the door walking to whoever was there then he shut it looking at me. I looked at him seeing that his lips were swollen like mine felt. I stood letting go of the couch.

"Sara."

"You don't have to say anything."

"Don't I?" He asked, watching me fidget.

"No, because I know what you're going to say."

"What am I going to say?" He asked, coming closer to me.

"You're going to say that it was a mistake and you don't know what to do about it."

He stared at me as I looked at him.

"It's okay; I initiated this so you don't have to say that."

"I wasn't going to say that."

"What do you mean?" I asked, feeling my heart race.

He opened his mouth to talk when the door opened and Catherine appeared.

"Gil, I need to see you."

Grissom looked at her then at me. He walked out leaving the door open. I took a shaky breath walking out.

I didn't see him after that. I went home constantly thinking about the kiss. Even my dreams were about it.

Walking into work I was troubled. I went to the locker room getting my stuff. Leaning my head against my closed locker door I closed my eyes. The door came open and I lifted my head seeing Warrick. He patted my shoulder walking past. I opened the door walking out bumping into Grissom.

"Sorry." I said, getting out of his way. He watched me walk down the hallway then he went inside.

I went to work on my case distracted. I went to the vending machine in the hallway getting some chips. As I rounded the corner something large and strong threw me back hard against the floor. As I hit the floor my head cracked against the tile causing me to see stars. My bags of chips were everywhere.

"Sara, I am so sorry." Warrick said, as he held a dummy in his arms.

"It's all right." I said, shaking my head as he helped me stand.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine." I said

He nodded watching me. I looked down at the chips then I touched my head feeling a knot starting.

Grissom walked over looking at the mess then he looked at us.

"I accidently bumped into Sara." Warrick asked "I was running to the garage."

"I am okay." I said, looking at Grissom as he looked at me concerned.

"Warrick, we will talk later about this in the meantime go to the garage. I will take care of Sara."

"Thank's." Warrick said, leaving.

"Gris, I am fine." I said

"Did you hit your head?"

"A little."

He reached up touching my head.

"You have a knot here."

I nodded as he stood back looking at me.

"Do you need a doctor?"

"No."

He nodded looking down at the chips. I watched him walk over to the vending machine putting money in to get a new bag. He handed them to me.

"Thank you." I said

He nodded silently watching me walk away.

My head started throbbing and got worse after work. I walked over to my car winching at the pain.

"Sara?"

I turned seeing Grissom walking out leaving for the night as well.

"How's the head?" He asked

"It's fine." I said

"Does it hurt?"

"A little." I said

He looked over at the row of parked cars then he looked at me.

"Why don't I drive you home?"

"Oh, you don't have to do that."

"I want to."

"Okay."

He smiled taking me to his car. I sat in the passenger side looking at him as he drove. He glanced at me before looking at the road.

"What's wrong?"

"You never told me what you were going to say about…the kiss."

His jaw flexed as he looked at the road.

"What were you going to say?"

"I don't know." He said

I nodded looking outside.

"I liked it." He said

"What?" I asked

He glanced at me.

"I liked it."

"You liked it?"

He nodded as he looked outside again.

"Who are you?"

"I am Grissom."

"No, you're not." I said "The Grissom I know does not kiss women in his office, nor does he say that he liked it."

"Maybe I have changed."

"You can't change."

He turned onto my road.

"We all evolve, Sara."

He parked outside of my apartment building. I sat still as he looked at me.

"Do you want me to help you?"

"No."

He looked outside then at me.

"Sara, I still don't know what to do, but I thought about how this is affecting you and I."

"You and I?"

"Yes."

I looked down as he watched me.

"You said you and I."

I started to laugh rubbing my head.

"Is that wrong?"

"No, it's nice. I just never thought I would hear you say that."

He reached over touching my hand. I looked at him.

"Grissom, do you understand what a relationship is?"

"I do."

"There is touching involved, and kissing."

"Yes." He said

I slid over closer to him.

"You are going to have to be affectionate."

He pulled me closer to his face.

"Is there anything else?" He asked, gently.

I moved my head closer.

"You…have to…"

He kissed me before I could finish. I put my hand on his neck as he pulled me over closer. He moved his head with mine. I moved back breathing heightened.

"Will you stay?"

"If you want me to."

I kissed him again. He held my hand as we walked to my front door. I opened it looking at him. He nodded to me allowing me in first then he came in shutting the door.

I moved in bed later feeling for him. When I didn't feel his warm body I sat up not seeing him. I came out of my room and he was gone.

"Grissom?"

I walked over sitting on my couch feeling terrible.

At shift I saw him coming to meet me at the from desk area.

"Sara, can we talk?"

"I have to work."

"Please?"

I nodded following him. He led me inside his office then he closed the door.

"I am sorry, but I had to leave." He said

"I thought I dreamed it." I said

He put his hands on my cheeks.

"I didn't want you to think I just left."

"I understand."

"How's your head?"

"Sore."

He nodded letting me go.

"Do you need to take the shift off?"

"No, I'll be fine." I said, going to the door.

"Sara?"

I looked at him.

"Yes?"

"Becarful."

I smiled a little nodding before leaving. I worked without distraction. At break time I laid down on the breakroom couch closing my eyes to allow my head to rest. Greg walked in with Nick seeing me.

"Wow, she actually does sleep."

"I can hear you." I said

"Sorry." Greg said

I moved to my side as they talked by the coffee maker. I had fallen asleep because the next thing was Grissom was shaking my arm.

"Sara, you need to be working."

I moved sighing as I sat up holding my head in my hands. Grissom put his papers down on the coffee table then he sat down looking at me.

"You okay?"

I nodded lowering my hands then I stood as he did. He looked me up and down as I moved away.

After work I saw him walking with Brass talking about something serious. He glanced at me standing alone in the front desk area. He nodded at something the older man said then he glanced at me again. I looked down at my shoe tapping the floor. He waved at Brass then walked over.

"Going home?" He asked

"I think."

"You think?" He asked

"Yes." I said

Grissom shook his head walking over to me placing his hand on my arm leading me outside. He walked me to my car. I looked at him in the dim light. He looked around then he touched my waist I put my arms around his neck kissing him. He tilted his head grabbing at my lips. I moved from feeling his head rest on mine.

"Sara, I have a problem."

"You have problems?" I asked

He lifted his head smiling at me.

"I have a problem where you're concerned."

"You want to end whatever this is?"

"No, my problem is that I love you."

I dropped my arms looking at him in shock.

"Did you just say what I think you said?"

"Yes."

"Grissom…..you…you can't love me!"

"Why not?"

"Well…because…I."

"Do you love me?"

I opened my mouth looking at him.

"Grissom."

"Do you?"

"Don't make me answer that."

His hand went to my cheek.

"Do you?"

People came out of the building and we moved away from each other.

Grissom looked over at the people talking then he grabbed my hand pulling me to the side of the building. I let him go walking around as he watched me.

"I asked you a question." He said

"I know." I said "I just don't think you know what you're saying."

He sighed watching me pace.

"I am not the type that has long lasting relationships. I am dysfunctional, and I am a workaholic!"

He grabbed my arm pulling me to him.

"Sara, I know everything about you. You are not telling me anything I don't know."

I searched his eyes.

"Grissom, I can't do this."

I ran away back to my car as he watched me. When I got home I knew I was making a mistake, but he didn't know about my past and it scared me.

I avoided him for weeks. Every time he would look at me I would look away.

I noticed a woman one day wearing a suit walking with Grissom one day. She was talking to him and he smiled nodding as they walked towards me. He looked at me stopping. She stopped looking at me as well.

"Sara, did you get the results from trace?"

"Um…not yet." I said, looking at the woman.

"Hi, I am Terry Miller." She said

I took her hand shaking it.

"Sara Sidle."

Grissom looked at us with interest.

"Sara, get those results to me before you leave."

I nodded watching them walk way.

After shift I saw them getting into the same car driving off. Feeling jealous, I went home.

My head was swimming as I lifted up the empty bottle of wine from the floor next to the couch two hours later.

"You're empty." I said, trying to sit up instead I fell off the couch giggling. "Get up!"

I stood almost falling back. Carrying the bottle I made my way to the kitchen opening the fridge not seeing anything left. I groaned putting the bottle on the floor then I stumbled to the front door with my keys in my hand. I opened the door leaving.

The phone beside Grissom's bed rang. He moved reaching over putting it to his ear.

"Grissom."

He rubbed his face listening. He dropped his hand sitting up.

"What?" He said, listening. "Okay, I will be right there."

I slept in Brass's office on his couch as Brass stood at his desk looking at me. Grissom opened the door looking at him then at me.

"She is lucky that I was headed home. I pass right by her place. If I hadn't looked over seeing her fall down the apartment's front steps then who knows what would have happened."

"Thank you, Jim."

Brass nodded.

"She fought me all the way here, but I wanted her somewhere safe."

Grissom nodded walking over seeing I had a bruise on my head. He knelt down touching my head smoothing my hair back. I moved stilling as he continued to touch me. Brass watched this with interest.

"I'll take her home." Grissom said

"Are you going to suspend her?"

"I am going to talk to her."

Grissom took me to his house. He slid into bed beside me holding me scared at how close I could have killed someone or myself. I moved into his chest sleeping as he held me tightly.

In the morning I moved feeling a warm chest. I jumped up seeing him wake up looking at me.

"Grissom?"

"Good morning." He said

"What are you doing?!" I asked, looking around. "Where am I?"

"You are in my house." He said, sitting up.

"How did I get here?"

"I brought you home."

I winched at the headache I had.

"Sara, you drank last night and Brass brought you in."

I looked at him in shock.

"I was arrested?"

"No, he called me and I came in to bring you here so we could talk."

I laid down sighing closing my eyes. He watched me.

"Thank goodness." I said

"Sara, I am not going to lecture you because you don't listen, but I am going to make you talk to a counselor and make you take an extended vacation."

I sat up looking at him.

"Extended vacation?"

"Yes, you will take this time to think about if you want your job or not."

"You're going to fire me?"

"I never said that."

"Grissom, you know I won't do this again!"

"No, I don't know, but I do know you are on the edge." He said, standing.

I looked down at the blankets. He left the room closing the door.

I spoke to a counselor and went to San Francisco to do some searching. I came back two months later feeling ready to work.

Walking into the lab, I walked over to Grissom's office seeing a strange man sitting at his desk.

"Hello?" I said

"Hello." He said

"Um….I am looking for Grissom." I said, walking in further.

"Oh, you must be Sara." He said, standing. "I am B.D. Russell, Grissom's replacement."

My face lost all color as he said that.

"Grissom left?"

"Oh, he didn't tell you. He had an opportunity to do lectures in Washington."

I looked down then I looked back at him.

"Excuse me." I said

He watched me run out of the office. I went to the locker room sitting on the bench trying to understand what was happening.

Catherine came in seeing me. She sat down beside me touching my back.

"I wanted to tell you before anyone else."

"He's gone!" I said

She hugged me as I cried.

"Grissom loves you Sara. He will be back."

I shook unable to cope.

After that I was under Catherine's command. She never gave up hope that he would come and we would be together. I thought about my priorities and I wanted him back as well.

Grissom did come back after two more months. He smiled walking into the building happy to be there again. Catherine walked over hugging him then she leaned back eyeing him.

"You lost some weight." She said

He looked down at his trimmer figure.

"I decided to eat more salads."

"You look good." She said

"Thank's." He said

They walked around talking.

"So, how is Sara?"

"She's working in the garage. For a month after I thought we were going to lose her. She refused food and sleep, but after a talk we got her back on track."

He nodded looking at the garage door down the hallway.

"She is due for a break. Why don't you go see her?"

"I don't think that would be a good idea."

"Gil, she loves you."

He looked at her.

"She said so to me."

"Really?"

"Yes."

He looked back at the door feeling Catherine push him. He walked over looking back at Catherine who motioned him to go in. He sighed opening the door hearing noise in the large room. On the floor were pieces of a car with tags on them. He smiled looking at everything. He jumped when something fell looking over seeing me standing by the car I was working on in overalls. He stared at me in silence for a few minutes.

"Hello Sara."

"Grissom." I said

He smiled at me as I looked like I was going to cry. He watched me walk over carefully then throw my arms around him. He held me against him. I sniffed moving back kissing him. He kissed me back. I moaned kissing him longer. He moved back looking at me.

"I'm glad your back." I said, my voice breaking.

He put his hands on my cheeks.

"Me to."

He took me to his house after work. I kissed him in his bed. We both laid down with our clothes on. I kissed him slowly then I laid back on the pillow looking at him. He touched my cheek.

"I love you." I said

He smiled faintly.

"I love you to."

I moved closer putting my head in his chest. I woke to an empty bed. Moving, I got up walking out to the living room seeing Grissom in work clothes talking on his phone. He looked at me as I touched my messed hair. I walked over feeling his arm going around me.

He hung up and leaned down kissing my neck.

"I need to drive you home." He said

"Mmhmm."

"Are you okay?" He asked

I nodded touching his shirt. He kissed my head then let me go to get ready.

We went to the lab together as a couple. Grissom walked with me to the door with his hand on my back. He opened the door and we walked in seeing Russell and Catherine waiting at the door.

"What's up?" Grissom asked

"Ecklie needs to see us." Catherine said, she looked over at me smiling knowing we were together. I smiled then walked away happy.

After work I saw the three of them again in Grissom's office talking. I wondered what was going on. Grissom saw me and motioned me inside with them.

"Hello Sara." Russell said

"Hello."

"Ah Sara, there is something we need to discuss." Grissom said

"Okay."

"Ecklie has decided to make all three of us nightshift supervisors." Grissom said

I looked at them.

"Really?"

"Yes, and he said I can't work with you on my team due to our new…relationship. So we have decided that you will be with Russell."

I looked over at Russell.

"But…don't I have a say?"

"Not in this instance." Grissom said

I walked out with Grissom to our cars. He noticed my unhappy face. Taking my hand he took me to the side of the building.

"Honey, I know you want to be with me, but we can't."

"I know."

"Russell is a good man. I picked you for him because I know you will get along with him."

I nodded looking down. He hugged me.

The scenes were dealt with faster with three groups. Greg and Warrick went to Catherine and Nick went to Grissom. We worked with new recruits teaching them.

One night a month later had all of us working at scene a park. It was sad to see the body bags piling up. A celebration on that day brought people from all around then a bomb exploded bringing the celebrating to an end. I walked over seeing a little girl being put in a bag.

Russell walked over looking at what I was looking at.

"I hate this person all ready." I said

"We'll catch them." He said

I nodded disgusted that anyone would kill children. We worked the scene and then took breaks. I drank from a bottle of water standing by the cars. I watched the others walking around. Grissom walked over.

"Hey." He said

"Hey." I said

"Taking a break?"

I nodded drinking more water.

"We should be leaving in a few hours."

I looked at him.

"Okay."

He motioned me with him. We walked over to some trees.

"Russell said you were upset."

"Aren't you?"

"I am, but I know you tend to take on cases."

"I want to find this guy, Grissom!"

"Honey, I know, we all do. You need to stop taking it personally."

I hugged him feeling him hug me.

"Just don't shut down." He said

"I won't."

He let me get back to work. When it was over we went back to the lab handing in evidence then Grissom took me to his place. He held me in bed sleeping. His lips went to my head causing me to move against his chest.

"Gris?"

"Hmm?"

"You can't sleep?" I asked

"I just wanted to hold you." He said

I moved closer.

"Go to sleep." I said

He sighed closing his eyes then he opened them. He had a feeling something was going to happen. All he could do was hold onto me hoping that whatever it was would not take me away from him.