Before I start this rather odd story, I have a few warnings/apologies to make. Once in a while, I will poke fun at certain people/places/things/etc. I do not have anything against any of them and I am sorry if I offend anybody who has a die-hard obsession for any of them.

DISCLAIMER: Nih, I don't own SW. I do own any character that doesn't have an uber-unique SW name, though. I also don't own Harry Potter or Gwen Stefani's song Rich Girl.

Oh, and I KNOW that I said before that I wouldn't make any more SW fics, but I couldn't resist writing this one!

(By the way, this story takes place around the release of Revenge of the Sith)

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January 10th - the bedroom of ARYA MCCUTCHEN

We see a rather average girl's bedroom…wait, not really average. The aforementioned girl's bedroom looks a little like something you would see on Kamino, as the walls are curved and the whole room is white with a bit of light blue.

ENTER ARYA

ARYA AYESHA MCCUTCHEN is a tall girl of around twelve. She has long medium-brown hair, large brown eyes, and strangely long eyelashes. She wears a black shirt with what looks like Darth Vader on it, denim jeans, and an unzipped red hoodie with a purple star across the chest, and she carries a red leather purse.

ARYA smiles. We now see that she wears braces. She puts her purse on her bed and takes off her jacket. She approaches the far side of her bed and sits on the edge.

ARYA hums the Star Wars theme song: "Doo doo doodoodoo doooooo doo doodoodoo dooooo doo doodoodoo doo…"

VOICE IN DISTANCE: Shut up!

ENTER LAURA, ARYA'S TEN-YEAR-OLD SISTER

From first glance, we can see that LAURA is not interested in Star Wars at all. She has brown hair and brown eyes like ARYA, but she wears a pink turtleneck, a white miniskirt, light pink corduroy pants, and white socks.

ARYA continues to hum

LAURA clenches her fists: "Will you shut up, puh-leeeze!"

ARYA stops, stares at LAURA, and waves her hand: "You will get out of my room."

LAURA: "Enough with this Jedi mind trick nonsense, nerd."

ARYA crosses her arms: "You shouldn't be talking to me like that since I'm older than you. Anyway, I'm not a nerd. I'm a geek."

LAURA: "Whatever, geek." (She walks out of the room)

A phone rings. ARYA walks out ofher room.

ARYA enters LAURA'S room, where the phone is ringing. LAURA'S room is extremely girly, shocking pink, and white. Her phone is in the corner of the room, next to her bed. LAURA is not present. ARYA picks up phone.

ARYA: "Hi?"

A voice is heard from the other end. It is ARYA'S friend STEPHANIE, or SPRUCE.

SPRUCE: "Hey, Arya!"

ARYA: "Oh, yo Spruce. Whassup?"

SPRUCE: "You're so weird. Anyway, guesswhatguesswhatguesswhat?"

ARYA mocks SPRUCE: "Whatwhatwhat?"

SPRUCE: "Listen up, because I'm gonna squeal a lot." (She makes a small squeaking sound.)

ARYA, exasperatedly: "Whaaaat? Come on, stop stalling."

SPRUCE: "OK, OK! I. Got. This. Totally. Hot." (She squeals.) "Anakin." (She squeals again) "Poster." (She squeals loudly)

ARYA holds the phone at arm's length: "Yeah, like we care."

SPRUCE pretends to cry:"What do you mean, you don't like Anakin?"

ARYA: "I do! Just…not in the way you do. Besides, he's taken."

SPRUCE shrieks: "DARN IT!" (She lowers her voice) "Must…resist…plot…to…kill…Padmé…"

ARYA groans: "Sith-anie, you are so weird."

SPRUCE: "What? Oh! How dare you! Just kidding. Anyway - (She raises her voice an octave higher) -"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T THINK HE'S HOT? Huh?"

ARYA places her hand over the mouthpiece: "Fangirl." (She removes her hand) "I don't have character crushes, for your information. And the actor's a…well...dork?" (She starts sniggering)

SPRUCE: "He is not, you person who squeals at any scene with Vader's yellow eyes! How could you insult him?" (She pretends to cry again)

ARYA: "Excuse me? I'll say it once more, and I'll say it again." (Sheclears her throat)

(Apparently, ARYA and SPRUCE have had this type of conversation many times)

ARYA: "I. Do. Not. Squeal. I yell. Yelling is much more mature than your girlish, childish fangirl squealing."

SPRUCE changes the subject: "Hold on. I'm getting another call. Bye."

ARYA: "Yep. Bye."

ARYA hangs up

January 10th, the bedroom of STEPHANIE "SPRUCE" CLAIRE PATERSON

SPRUCE'S bedroom is entirely silver and purple, and the walls are completely covered with various posters of various heartthrobs. We can pretty much tell that she's boy-obsessed. But she isn't just in love with celebrities, though, as there is a picture of a spiky-haired blond boy in a polo shirt and a tie next to her bed, and there are other pictures of him scattered around the walls. SPRUCE herself is at her pink Macintosh computer, which has a huge desktop wallpaper of Anakin Skywalker. SPRUCE is a fairly short and chubby girl with blinding chin-length white-blonde hair and large, dreamy grey eyes. She wears a mint green T-shirt and overalls, and her feet are bare and tapping on a ball of some sort

SPRUCE hangs up

SPRUCE stares at a random poster, this one happens to be one of Orlando Bloom: "Oh, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways." (She counts on her fingers) "You're hot?"

The phone rings just as she hangs up. SPRUCE picks up phone

SPRUCE: "Hello?"

VOICE ON OTHER SIDE OF PHONE: "Hello, it's Gwen."

SPRUCE: "Oh, hey, Gwen! I was just chatting with Arya."

GWEN: "Hmm…about Star Wars?"

SPRUCE: "How'd you guess?"

GWEN: "Because I was just arguing with my brother whether or not Jar Jar is annoying. Personally, I think he is the most annoying specimen this side of the Galactic Republic."

SPRUCE: "Uh-huh. Hold on, I'll get Arya."

GWEN: "Sure."

SPRUCE presses a button on her phone

ARYA: "Yo, w'sup dawg?"

SPRUCE: "Hi again. Gwen's on as well."

GWEN: "Hello!"

ARYA: "Oh, hey Gwen. Do you think that An--"

GWEN: "Is not hot. None of the Star Wars characters are hot. You already know I focus on the science fiction."

ARYA: "Yeah! You agree with me, Gwen! High five!"

SPRUCE: "WHAT!"

ARYA, jokingly: "Shut up Spruce. Anyway, Gwen…"

GWEN: "Yes, I said I focus on the science fiction."

ARYA, again jokingly: "You nerd."

SPRUCE pretends to cry

GWEN: "Excuse me, Arya?"

ARYA: "What?"

GWEN: "It's geek, not nerd."

ARYA: "You sound like me when my sister and I were arguing about the same thing."

While ARYA and GWEN are talking, SPRUCE is pretending to cry softly. After a couple of minutes…

ARYA and GWEN, loudly: "SHUT UP, SPRUCE!"

SPRUCE: "Sorry. But…you said…Anakin's not hot?"

ARYA: "No. He's dorky. Or at least the actor is, as I said before." (She snaps her fingers) "Darn, I forget his name. But it doesn't matter. Anyway, don't you agree, Gwen?"

GWEN: "I don't even focus on how "hot" anyone is."

ARYA nods: "Oh, right. I forgot. Hey, guess what?"

SPRUCE, at the same time as ARYA'S comment above: "And you call yourself a Star Wars fan, Ary."

GWEN and SPRUCE: "What?"

ARYA: "I was reading this story where three nutty Star Wars freaks and their Harry Potter-loving friend get sucked into the Star Wars universe."

SPRUCE: "Interesting. Harry Potter's cool. The book, not the character. My Harry Potterheart will always belong to Viktor Krum. Or Lupin.

ARYA: "One's ugly, the other's too old for you."

SPRUCE: "He is not ugly! Haven't you seen any ha-a-a-andsome screenshots of him?"

ARYA, matter-of-factly: "In the books, he's short and duck-footed with a big ugly nose."

GWEN: "Um, I have no idea what you're talking about."

ARYA and SPRUCE: "You don't like Harry Potter?"

GWEN: "I don't LOVE it, unlike you two do. Anyway, can we talk about Star Wars again?"

ARYA: "Yeah, sure, I wanted to continue anyway."

SPRUCE: "Ditto."

GWEN: "Go on, Arya."

ARYA: "And one of the nutty kids, Leanne, falls in love with Obi-Wan."

SPRUCE: "Uh…OK…like you?"

ARYA: "NO! You're confusing me with Catrina."

GWEN: "Speaking of Catrina…" (She stares at the ceiling)

SPRUCE: "I'll get her." (She pushes another button on her phone)

HIGH VOICE ON ANOTHER PHONE: "Uh, hi?"

ARYA: "Yo, Mrs Kenobi."

SPRUCE groans: "What IS it with you and your 'yo's, you…weird person?"

CATRINA giggles: "Mrs Kenobi. Is that new, Ary?"

ARYA: "Your obsession with Obi or the title?"

CATRINA: "The title."

ARYA: "Yep."

CATRINA: "Who else is there? I thought I heard Spruce."

SPRUCE: "Me, Ary, and Gwen."

GWEN: "Hi, Cat."

SPRUCE: "Hey, Catrina Latrina --"

CATRINA: "Ehmagod! You bathroom-humor-moron-obsessed-with-Anakin-Skywalker!"

SPRUCE: "Hey, don't blame me for likin' 'im."

GWEN whispers to ARYA: "Where do we come in?"

ARYA whispers back: "Let's just see how this conversation goes and then we'll pop in."

SPRUCE: "S'cuse me? Ary?"

ARYA whistles: "Nothing."

CATRINA and SPRUCE continue to argue about who is more good-looking while GWEN and ARYA listen patiently, although not as patiently in ARYA'S case

ARYA, singing loudly and off-key to the tune of Rich Girl: "Na na na na na na, na na na na na na, na na na na na na na na na na na na...if I was a rich girl --"

GWEN: "Pop-idiot."

CATRINA, to SPRUCE: "I guess this means that we should stop arguing?"

SPRUCE: "Yes, Mrs Latrina Kenobi."

CATRINA: "Stop it. Please."

SPRUCE: "Only because you said please." (She makes a zipping sound, as if she is zipping her lips)

CATRINA changes the subject suddenly: "Oh, wait, sorry, my mum's getting a business call. Bye."

GWEN, ARYA, and SPRUCE: "Bye."

ALL hang up

January 10th, the bedroom of GWENDOLYN "GWEN" DAKOTA ADREW

GWEN'S bedroom is the typical 'nerd's room, as it doesn't really have any photos or posters except for some family photos and there are a lot of school stuff strewn around. Above her bed is a Star Wars: Return of the Jedi poster. GWEN, who is sitting cross-legged on her bed reading a book about chess for dummies, is a somewhat dark-skinned girl with huge Coke-bottle glasses, a lanky and tall build, black hair, and a plaid polo shirt with khakis

GWEN giggles madly to herself: "They are so funny, the lot of them. Arya, Spruce, Catrina…"

GWEN turns a page

GWEN: "Hey, Gary Kasparov versus Deep Blue! Awesome!"

JANUARY 10th, the kitchen in CATRINA MARGARET WILLIAMS'S house

We see a very cluttered kitchen with a huge window to the left of the room. Perched on the wide window ledge is CATRINA, a tiny redhead wearing somewhat girly clothes - a white tank top, a light purple suede jacket, and a long denim skirt with flower embroidery. From what we can see, although ironically she does not have a phone in her room, CATRINA is quite rich.

CATRINA looks out the window in a somewhat imitation of Padmé Amidala

JANUARY 10th, ARYA'S bedroom

It is now the middle of the night. ARYA is fast asleep.

JANUARY 10th, SPRUCE'S bedroom

SPRUCE is also asleep

SPRUCE, talking in her sleep: "Shut up Obi…go ahead and have 'im, Catrina…"

Little do ARYA, SPRUCE, GWEN, and CATRINA know, or anyone at their school (Maple West Middle School), ANAKIN, OBI-WAN, and PADMÉ are unconscious on the school soccer field, looking as if they're all around twelve years of age.