Spike wept.
He wept for lost friends and allies .
He wept for Chloe, Annabelle, Molly, Amanda and all the other potentials who died fighting in Sunnydale.
He wept for Anya, A thousand year old, money-obsessed vengeance demon who fought and died out of nothing more than friendship.
He wept for Cordellia, the cheerleader who sacrificed everything to help the helpless going through pain unimaginable to do so.
He wept for Wesley, Gunn and Fred people he barely knew but loved who had laid their lives down for a cause.
He wept for Angel, his worst enemy and his best friend. His nemesis and his father. The man who had ridden a half dead dragon into a legion of demons and held his fist up in triumph as they all burned to ash.
He wept for himself and Illyria, the only survivors, alone with their survivor guilt.
A gallon of blood must have washed down the drain. The hot water had turned to cold long ago but he waited until he could cry no more before he reached for the tap.
She was waiting in the room as he emerged from the bathroom. Her hair wet and he head turned to the side as it perpetually always did looking inquisitively off into nowhere lost in a thought.
He waited for her to speak but after a few minutes of waiting he pulled out a cigarette from his pack, flicked his zippo, and laid on the bed looking at the ceiling. He sighed and took a long pull.
"Half-breed , I am perplexed" Illyria's deep cold words cut the silence.
"Enlighten me love" Spike said, not even moving or looking away from the ceiling.
"Inside this shell there is nothing wrong, I sustained no injuries battling those bastard hordes of the Wolf, Ram and Heart yet I feel oddly broken inside. This shell pollutes me with memories of those lost and the empty chasm they have left" He hears her voice start to crack but then shakes it off thinking the thought absurd.
"Half-breed, make these thoughts go away before I rip out your spine"
"Can't do it, pet. Tis what it Tis" Spike said softly
" They hated me anyways as I took this shell as my own. I once could block out the sun and was worshiped. I held the cosmos in my hand and was equalled by none !" She started to raise her voice and he could hear her pacing
" They were nothing more than an annoyance and I tremble like this !"
" I command this in my name to stop NOW !" She slammed her fist into the desk reducing in to splinters .
She crumpled to the floor as he rose from the bed , he saw her body racked with sobs and picked up words so quiet that even with his sense he could barely hear "please, just make it stop"
He pulled her up and wrapped his arms around her. She felt like she was set in steel but after a few minutes relaxed and let him hold her.
"This only transpires because I allow it" she said out loud.
"I know, luv." he gently replies.
He leads her to the bed and pull the towel so it slides to the floor.
"What are you doing?" She says as her deep blue eyes lock onto his light ones.
"Worshiping a God" he says as he lies her down "Helping her forget" he says as his lips touch her shoulder.
He explores her body for what seems like hours. She responds phyiscally to him but does not make a sound. He kisses her neck and she tilts it her head up in permission.
As he bites he also enters her . "Spike" She involuntarily lets a sharp breath escape her lips and her teeth bite into her bottom lip.
He grins to himself.
Today he saved the world.
Saved the world for a second time actually.
And to top it all off … He made a god moan his name.
It Was A Good Day To Be The Big Bad.