a/n:yes i used a faust quote as the title don't judge me

anyway, happy rinharu week! i can't believe my gcse mock exams are next week and i'm choosing to spend my time writing soulmate aus for gay swimmers

what even is my life

as always i'm unsure about the quality of my work, but i hope this is okay!

enjoy :)

There was darkness.

Darkness and silence.

He couldn't move, couldn't speak, couldn't breathe – only let the murkiness surround and suffocate him, pulling at his limbs –

And then, suddenly, a pair of bright eyes.

Rin awoke from his dream in a cold sweat. Slowly, as he sat up, it came back to him in flashes, vague pictures forming in his head blurrily, but already he was starting to forget the majority of it.,

The one thing that he clearly remembered was those eyes – it felt like they were burning into his soul, but also, strangely, like he knew them from somewhere; a confusing mix of feelings.

"Rin, if you don't get up right now, you'll be late for work!"

He groaned as Sousuke's yelling broke him out of his dream world. Unfortunately, his friend was right. If he didn't shower right now his boss would kick his ass because of how late he'd be.

As he dragged himself out of bed, he couldn't help but feel like that dream was going to stick with him throughout the day.

Rin takes order after order, the tedious routine of working on a coffee shop allowing him more time to think. His dream won't leave him alone. Normally he forgets them as soon as they're over, but there's something special about this one. He'll have to search up the meanings of them later on the internet. He knows it's not going to leave him alone otherwise, and it's bugging the hell out of him. Twice now he's nearly made the wrong order.

He turns to serve the next customer, and it's like a slap to the face.

The first thing he notices is the blue of his eyes – like the surface of the ocean being hit by the sun. He's got tan skin and dark hair, but Rin's too busy being floored by the fact that, inexplicably, these are the eyes from his dream.

The man raises an eyebrow, snapping Rin back to reality. "Are you OK?" he asks. His voice is low, monotonous, and Rin wants to hear it again.

His mouth opens and shuts, unsure of what to say. Eventually he settles on a smile, repeating the usual mantra scripted by his boss for every employee. "Yeah, sure, I'm, uh, fine. What'll your order be?"

The guy looks slightly confused but also humoured by Rin's antics. "One Iced Macchiato to go please."

"Right," Rin mutters, hoping desperately to not fuck this order up.

When he looks up, the stranger has been staring at him, fixing him with that intense stare that makes you never want to look away.

"And your name?" he asks, his voice soft, but in his head he's making all sorts of wild guesses. Something artistic, probably to do with flowers, like –

"Haruka," they say at the same time, and Rin wants to kick himself. This is definitely the most idiotic thing he's done. He can't even be fazed by the fact he got it right.

Haruka doesn't look as surprised as he probably should, Rin reckons. He merely raises one damn eyebrow again, studying Rin's face coolly, like he's a piece of art on display, ready for Haruka to critic.

"How did you know that?" he asks.

Rin shrugs, his mind rapidly searching for excuses.

He smiles awkwardly. "I guess you just look like a Haruka," he says, knowing it's a lame justification but still going with it anyway.

He can't quite tell, but it looks like Haruka's smirking. "Considering that's a girl's name I'm not quite sure how to react to that."

Rin blushes. "It's not a bad thing!" he exclaims. After a few seconds of just staring at each other, he blurts out, "I'm Rin."

"I know," Haruka replies, and before Rin can accuse him of being psychic, he gestures to Rin's apron, "I can read, you know."

Rin looks down, remembering his name tag too late.

"Damn it," he curses to himself.

Looking up, this time he's certain Haruka's laughing at him, in a weirdly silent way.

"So, you got a last name to go with Haruka?" he asks, silently cursing himself for what sounds like a really bad pick up line. And it might as well be. Something about him is drawn to Haruka, which is really weird, but he's not complaining. He's also drop dead gorgeous, which doesn't hinder him. It's mostly the eyes. The same ones from his dream, which is still haunting him.

When he eventually snaps back into reality, he realises Haruka's spoken. And there's kind of a small queue forming behind Haruka. His boss would murder him if he knew Rin was wasting time trying to flirt with some customer whose eyes appeared in a freaky dream.

Haruka repeats himself, "It's Nanase. And … " There's some hesitation. " … You can just call me Haru."

Rin smiles, pleased with himself. "Haru Nanase," he says, more to himself. "Nice."

"Also your pick-up line was a piece of shit."

He winces at his bluntness.

"Right," he says. "One Iced Macchiato then." Dejectedly, he goes to make the order.

As he makes it, by chance he turns his head around. Again, Haru has been staring at him, an unreadable expression on his face.

"I'll be here tomorrow as well," Haru says suddenly, and Rin's head turns round so fast he thinks he might actually have gotten whiplash.

"Oh," he manages to say, and Haru at least has the decency to look a bit flustered.

"You can tell me your last name then," he says.

Rin hands over the coffee, their fingers brush, and all Rin can think about his how he's actually living in some stupid romantic comedy movie. Sousuke's going to get a kick out of this when Rin gets home from work.

"See you then … Haru."

And then the blue eyes are gone.

Rin hurries to calm down his blush to serve the next customer, but for the rest of his work day his thoughts are filled with flashes of dark hair and the brightest eyes he's ever seen.

When he gets home from work, he must be grinning like an idiot, as Sousuke immediately frowns.

"What's got you so happy?" he asks.

Rin mock-glares at him. "Can't you for once join me in my joy?" he asks.

"No."

Rin glares at him until Sousuke falters.

"Okay, fine, what is it Rin?"

Rin pauses, unsure of where to start. He decides to leave out the dream, it's still too much for himself to handle.

"You'll never believe what happened at work."

He dreams again.

The darkness is back, but now he's fighting it. Now he knows what happens at the end, he wants to see those eyes. He wants the brightness again.

But the brightness never comes, and the darkness overcomes him.

He can't yell, cannot move, can only let it happen.

Today he actually gets up early, dream forgotten, rushing to shower before Sousuke and get to work at the earliest possible time.

He bounds into the work bright-eyed and grinning, and Airi, the colleague he's taking over from gives him a strange look.

"You're awfully happy," she comments, hanging her apron up and untying her hair.

He shrugs. "Just excited for work," he comments.

She chuckles. "Weirdo."

He can only smile wider in response and hurry to taking orders.

His eyes, however, keep straying to the door.

Eleven o'clock passed. And then midday. He stopped for lunch quickly before resuming his shift, never taking his eyes off the door for longer than he needed to.

One o'clock. Two o'clock.

Eventually he started to lose hope. His shift was coming to a close, and Haru still hadn't shown up.

As his shift ended, he had no choice but to go home, disconsolate.

There's always tomorrow, he thinks to himself, as he heads out the door, but something in his mind is agitated.

It's the same dream for the next four days.

The darkness, the screech of tires, the distorted sounds of dubstep music and bones breaking and bridges denting and sirens.

And every time, the blue eyes are dimmed.

The next four days, Haru is a no-show again.

Rin tries not to let it get to him, but the weird dreams have seriously been affecting his sleep schedule. He'll wake up, frenzied and weirdly close to tears, only to fall asleep due to exhaustion and have the same dream over and over again.

And he's convinced it's something to do with Haru. He's never been one for superstition, but this stranger's been impacting him since before they even met, and he knows they're connected in some way.

He continues going to work, and there's still a part of him that looks up every time the door opens, hoping to see a familiar head of dark hair.

It's Monday, and they're doing the newspaper swap. Though most people read them online nowadays, his boss likes to keep things traditional, which means every week they have to restock with all the new ones.

Rin's leafing through one when a headline catches his eye.

"Car crash caused by uncertain circumstances … " he reads out loud.

Airi peers over his shoulder. "I heard about that," she comments. "Apparently it was really nasty. It happened close to here as well. That's why I always cycle everywhere, it's way safer."

Rin nods as she continues speaking, but he's only half listening, the majority of his attention focused on reading the article.

"The two victims' car was hit as they were approaching the hospital. The passenger is unharmed, while the driver … "

He drops the paper. "Shit!" he yells, and Airi stares at him.

"What's wrong with you now, drama queen?" she asks, but her smile fades when she sees the expression on his face. He's deathly pale, and looks like he's just been in a car crash himself.

"I have to go," he murmurs, untying his apron, and walking to get his stuff, slowly, like he's in a trance

"What?" she exclaims worriedly. "Rin, seriously, are you okay?"

"Tell the boss I'm sorry!" he manages to shout out as he leaves, not even bothering to untie his hair.

Airi opens the door, ready to follow him, but by the time she even gets outside, he's vanished from her sight.

She shakes her head, wondering how she's going to get Rin out of this one without him losing his job, and walks over to the newspaper, wondering what in a local newspaper could have freaked him out so much.

"The passenger is unharmed, while the driver Haruka Nanase remains in the General Hospital recovering from injuries."

Airi searches her thoughts, but she can't remember Rin mentioning a Haruka when he talked about his friends to her.

"Strange," she mutters aloud, picking his discarded apron off the floor. "Maybe they knew each other after all."

He runs so fast to the hospital he has to pause at the doors to catch his breath, hands on his knees, not even caring that people have to walk around him.

As he waits, he curses silently in his head.

A car crash. A fucking car crash, he thinks to himself.

Hands shaking slightly, he opens the door and heads to the receptionist desk inside.

"I'm here to see Haruka Nanase," he says, stumbling a bit on Haru's first name, forgetting for a second that the nickname he's been entrusted with won't actually be recognised officially.

"Name?" the receptionist asks, looking bored out of his life.

"Rin Matsuoka," he says, and then it hits him: if they have to ask for his name, he's most definitely not on the set visitors list Haru's made. The other man doesn't even know his last name so –

"He's on the fifth floor. Room VH8. Right at the end of the corridor."

Rin's so surprised he nearly forgets to thank the receptionist. He stammers it out anyway, turning swiftly and deciding to take the stairs rather than the elevator. It gives him more time to think about why Haru put his name down, how he even knows his last name. He has no idea what to actually say. Or why he's truly here. All he knows is he felt something drawing him to Haru, to the hospital.

He reaches the fifth floor, and he can see there's a man standing outside VH8. He doesn't look like a doctor but Rin's wary all the same.

The man glances at him with intense green eyes, and Rin feels slightly intimidated. Not many people are taller than him, but this guy towers over him by a good couple of inches.

"Are you Rin Matsuoka?" he asks.

Rin sighs. "It's funny how everyone seems to know my name," he says.

The other man smiles at him. "He told me about you. Red hair, shark teeth, brash."

"Well, yeah," he mutters, because he knows he can't deny any of that. "Anyway, I'm here to see Haru, so … "

"Wait, what did you just call him?" he interrupts.

Rin freezes, wondering what he's said wrong. "Uh, I called him Haru. He said I could."

The man blinks. "Wow. You must have made an impact," he says, and Rin feels a blush approaching.

"Thanks," he murmurs, and brushes past him before he can embarrass himself any further.

He opens the door, bracing himself.

There is Haru, sitting up in a white hospital bed, a bandage around his wrist, staring out the window with that same bored expression on his face.

When he turns and sees Rin, however, a light appears in those dull blue eyes.

"I was expecting you," he says, and Rin gulps. "You didn't bring me an Iced Macchiato though, so I'm kind of disappointed."

"How did you know my last name?" Rin blurts out.

Haru acts as if he never spoke. "Sorry if Makoto was bothering you, he likes to act as if he's my mother sometimes. It can get creepy."

"Seriously, Haru, what on earth is going on?" He moves to sit on the chair next to the bed. Haru avoids his gaze.

"Rin," he says, and he waits for Haru to continue, but he doesn't. He simply stares at him like he's trying to memorise his face.

"Sorry I didn't bring flowers," Rin mutters. "I kind of ran here."

Haru's gaze sharpens. "What? It's a Monday. Don't you have work?"

Rin shrugs. "Like I said, I ran."

Haru stares at him with a very small smile and what could only be described as a fond look in his eyes. They're only met twice, but already Rin's noticed that Haru's expressions rarely change, and if they do, it's subtle.

Then, Haru speaks, in a quiet, low voice. "You don't remember." It's so soft Rin almost doesn't hear it, but it makes him lean forwards.

"Remember what?" he asks. "Have we met before?" Haru doesn't answer. "There's something you're not telling me, and it's really freaking me out, 'cause you're gorgeous and I feel this weird connection - "

Haru's gaze fixes on his own. He exhales once, and if there was any way for that to have been done gleefully, Haru would've just exhibited it.

"So you do feel it," he says, those eyes boring into him.

"What?" Rin asks.

Haru sits up straighter. "Touch me," he says. "Properly."

Shakily, Rin lays a hand on Haru's own bandaged one. He feels nothing really strange, except a sort of tingling in his hand, like there's electricity just under the surface of the skin, waiting to escape.

"Not there," Haru says, and he sounds slightly exasperated, if in a caring way. "On my skin."

Rin moves his hand higher, until it reaches Haru's tanned arm.

That's when it hits him.

The electricity is fully charged, and it feels like his skin is exactly where it's meant to be – completely unrestricted from touching Haru, with no boundaries between.

"What … " he repeats, "What's happening?"

Haru almost chuckles to himself. "You really don't remember. There was some part of me that still had hoped … "

"We've met before, haven't we? That explains why I feel like I recognise you. Also it explains the dreams. People often dream about someone they're seen in passing - "

"Tell me about the dreams," Haru asks, seemingly interested, so Rin explains it to the best of his ability. What he remembers is very blurry, but Haru's intent listening makes up for when he was to pause.

Haru nods when he finishes. "That explains a lot. Rin," he says, lifting up his hand again and pressing their palms together, flat, "this connection you feel is very special."

Rin resists the urge to intertwine their fingers; almost every part of his body yearns for to be as close to Haru as physically possible.

Haru looks him in the eye. "We've met before, but … Not in this lifetime. In previous ones. We've done so much together, and every time you've escaped from my sight before I could tell you how I felt. When the car crash happened … " He sighed. "I thought I'd die again and have to wait another lifetime until I met you again. That's why I put your name down for the visitors list. I knew I had to explain to you what was going on."

Rin can only stare, mouth slightly open, as Haru explains it. He gets the feeling Haru's not a very talkative person (though if what he's saying is true, that means they've already met and he already knows Haru isn't conversational, and he can tell this is going to make his head hurt like hell) so saying all this must be a big effort for him.

He inhales and then exhales unsteadily. "Okay … I think I believe you," he says, and it seems like the tension in Haru's shoulders eases slightly.

"Good. Some lifetimes you haven't. It's been very frustrating. You're so stubborn," Haru says, gazing at him with the kind of fondness that makes Rin's heart beat wildly.

"How come I don't remember?" he asks quietly. Haru shrugs.

"I don't know. You never remember, but I always do. I remember every single one."

Rin takes the plunge and intertwines their fingers.

"Makoto's always there too, but he never remembers. And my other friends. It's kind of frustrating, but also … nice. Every time round it seems like I learn something new about them. But I'm never connected with them like I am with you."

"Haru … " he mutters. "We're like soulmates, right?"

Haru nods, a smile appearing on his face. "Exactly. It's hard to believe, so I won't blame you if - "

Rin surprises him with a hug, holding onto him tight. Now that he's touched him, he never wants to stop. He doesn't know how he's managed to go twenty years without Haru. It feels like he's been with Rin forever, and he basically has.

"Are you kidding me?" he manages to whisper to Haru. "I couldn't do anything but believe you."

"I forgot about the hugging," he gasps out, but Rin can tell he's grateful.

Suddenly, there are tears streaming down his face, and he curses his overly-emotional mind.

It's just … Haru feels like the one wire connection needed to make Rin's black and white life turn colourful. And even though he's never known about him until a week ago, Rin's missed him from the bottom of his heart.

"And about the crying," Haru mutters, amusement in his voice.

"Shut up," Rin mutters, and Haru's quiet laughter fills the pristine hospital room, along with the sound of Rin softly crying.

The hand being held by Haru is suddenly yanked closer to him, and once again, those blue eyes that started it all are fixing Rin with their intense stare.

"Come closer," he mutters, "I've gone way too long without kissing you."

Rin blushes, wiping away a final tear. "And I thought I was romantic."

Haru smirks. "You'd be surprised."

Rin moves to sit on the side of the bed, placing a hand on Haru's face, touching him once more to affirm that he's real and the hospital is real and that this isn't another one of his weird dreams.

But it's not. It's reality, and it's their reality. One of many.

He moves closer so their mouths are almost touching.

"I love surprises," he whispers, before sealing Haru's lips in a kiss.

Haru's arms encircle him, ad Rin doesn't even care that he's still crying, slat tears running down his face and onto Haru's, because Haru's touch feels just like his first dream – the bright rescuing him from the dark.

When they separate, he has no words.

So of course he says something stupid.

"I can't wait until Sousuke finds out," he manages to say, his breathing still heavy. Touching Haru so much after so long apart seems to be a bit of an overload.

Haru pulls a face. "Oh no. Don't tell me you managed to find that bastard before you found me."

Rin manages a smirk. "Sorry?" he says. Sousuke is the kind of guy Haru would hate. But he's too happy to worry about that for now.

Haru smiles at him. "Don't worry. I plan on making up on lost time."

It's the best thing Rin's ever heard.

a/n: please review if you liked it, i really appreciate it :)

also, i hope no one got too sad and the happy ending cheered them up!