There is no MoJo fluff in this story...I would say it's more Angst.
I don't own RENT
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You Killed Me
Maureen slowly walked home from the clinic, her right hand clutching onto a bottle of pills while tears slowly slid out of her eyes. Her life was over, and it was going to be completely over once she confessed everything to Joanne.
"How could I be so stupid?" Maureen scolded herself.
It was one stupid drunken night, which ultimately changed her life forever. She loved Joanne, so why did she have to be so careless when it came to their relationship, why did she have to cheat that one time three months back when they had a fight about God only knows what, and why out of all the people in that huge bar did she have to pick the infected one?
She stopped just outside her apartment door, taking in a shaky breath before blowing it out. She reached for the doorknob and stopped before opening the door, noticing her hand was trembling. She pulled back and took a few more breaths trying to calm herself down, knowing this was probably going to be the last time she would ever see or talk to Joanne. After all who in their right mind would want to spend their life with someone like her? And she wouldn't blame Joanne if she wanted to leave, sure it would break her heart, but it wasn't fair to let Joanne deal with this, when it was all Maureen's fault anyways.
Plus Joanne was a successful healthy lawyer, she deserved to live her life and not get dragged down by Maureen.
The diva wiped away her free falling tears, making sure to get rid of any evidence that she was crying. Finally able to gain some control of her tears and shaking body, she opened the door and slowly entered the apartment, shedding her coat and setting her purse aside.
"Honeybear is that you?" Joanne called out from the living room, the sound of her lively voice breaking Maureen's heart.
"Uh yeah…" Maureen nervously said and walked into the living room, her eyes glued to the floor.
Joanne looked up from the newspaper, her face washing over with worry at the sight of Maureen, who couldn't seem to keep her tears and trembling body under control.
"Maureen…what's wrong?" Joanne asked her voice full of concern. "Where were you?"
"The doc-" her voice broke up as she tried to answer, so she cleared it and tried again. "The doctors."
Joanne quickly stood up and went to comfort the diva, but Maureen stepped back and pushed Joanne away.
"Maureen?" Joanne said with alarm. "Are you sick?"
Maureen slowly nodded, her eyes blankly staring at the wall, unable to make eye contact with Joanne. "I'm sorry." Was all she could say before more tears leaked from her eyes.
"Sorry about what?" Joanne said wanting to comfort her girlfriend, but Maureen kept pushing her away. "Maureen what's wrong, whatever it is I can and will help you. Is it something serious?"
"Yes." Maureen said her answer muffled by sobs. "Joanne I don't deserve you!" She finally snapped. "I'm going to pack up my things and leave tonight. I'll stay at the loft. I don't blame you at all if you never want to speak to me again." Maureen finally made eye contact with the lawyer, taking in her confused expression. "I'm giving you this chance to get away and get out of this. Go get promoted at work, find somebody else you can love, take them on vacation, go back packing through Europe, live your life to the fullest because believe me it can change in an instant."
"Maureen!" Joanne yelled. "Please…tell me what's wrong."
Maureen fell into a chair, she soon reached into her pocket and pulled her pills out and set them on the coffee table. She sniffled and wiped her tears away for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. "I have to start taking these now."
Joanne's eyebrows knitted together as she walked over to the table and picked up the bottle. She was struck with pain and sadness as she read the label, the only thing she could think to do was slap Maureen. So she did, she slapped the diva good and hard across the face. "AZT!? Maureen when!?"
Maureen held her stinging cheek, her blank expression returning to her face. "About three months ago." She began in a monotone voice. "We had this huge fight and I was so angry and drunk I took a guy back to a hotel and spent the night with him."
Joanne slammed the bottle back on the table; her head fell in her hands as her own tears started to fall from her eyes. "I can't believe this."
"I'm sorry." Maureen pleaded and she stood up to try and comfort her, but this time Joanne pushed her away. "You have every right to be mad at me. You don't have to say another word. I'll just get my stuff and leave. I won't hold it against you if you never want to see me again. Just know that I do love you with all my heart. That's why I'm leaving, so you don't have to deal with this. You deserve so much better, you're a good person Joanne you can make a good life for yourself."
"Don't pull that shit on me!" Joanne yelled. "You can't tell me you love me after you did this! Don't try and make it sound okay, it's not okay! I'm not going to let you walk away thinking you did the right thing. You can't make this better by saying those things!"
"What else do you want me to do?" Maureen asked.
Joanne sighed her body was shaking from sobs. She fell onto the couch and held her head in her hands. "You know what just get the fuck out. I don't want to look at you right now."
Maureen didn't waste anytime and quickly packed her things. She stood in the doorway with a bag over her shoulder, her sad eyes landing on Joanne who was still crying on the couch. "I love you." She whispered before leaving the apartment, leaving Joanne's life for good.
A few weeks later Maureen sat in The Life Café drinking her pain away, unaware that Joanne had entered the restaurant until she felt an arm roughly pull her from the barstool.
"What the fuck!?" Maureen argued and quickly settled down when she realized it was Joanne. "Joanne…what are you doing here?"
"I went and got tested." Joanne said her watery eyes burning into Maureen. "The day after you confessed everything to me." She explained and Maureen scrunched up her face and watched as Joanne pulled something from her coat pocket.
"Joanne?" Maureen whispered, her eyes watching the lawyer's every move. "But how…"
"How do you think!?" Joanne shouted not caring that there were other people around. "You were sick for three months while we were still together, it had to of happen sometime during that time. And I hadn't been with anyone else." She bitterly replied.
Guilt washed its way through Maureen's veins. She ruined Joanne's life.
"I'm so sorry." Maureen said, tears trickling down her face.
"Sorry isn't going to save me." Joanne said as she put her pills back into her pocket, and pulled it tightly around her body. She let out a breath, "You killed me Maureen." She softly said before leaving the Cafe.
Maureen snuck back into her chair as she watched Joanne leave the restaurant. She honestly didn't think Joanne contracted anything, she also didn't think her life could get any worse. But the fact that she was responsible for giving Joanne AIDS, making the poor lawyer suffer from an illness she with out a doubt did not deserve made everything that much worse.
The End
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I heard that originally everyone besides Mark were all going to have AIDS, so with that theory in mind and with encouragement from DramaQueenofAveB, this story was written.
I hope it turned out okay!