Author's Note:
Had to write this after this week's episode (Face the Raven), and this contains a lot of spoilers for that episode, so if you haven't watched it yet, don't read.
Also written for Doctor Who Day today. This is my first DW fic, so please be kind.
(LINE BREAK)
The Doctor's ears still rang with the horrible, eardrum shattering sound of Clara's death scream. Never had the Doctor ever wished to be deaf, even if for a moment, so Clara's horror filled screech wouldn't join the millions of others that already filled his dreams.
When the Doctor had thought he'd set his own planet aflame, he'd welcomed the billions of screams; from Time Lords and Daleks alike, because he knew the memory of the sound would always remind him of what he'd done. Even now, after realizing he hadn't killed his people, the false memory of that much death (caused by his own hand) was always a reminder of what he could do if he stopped being the Doctor.
Clara, as much as the Doctor was aware of her addiction to his life, was his safeguard. Clara had been the safety to his gun, and now the safety was gone, switched off for forever. And the Time Lord was alone with the teen Clara had begged him to save. The Doctor was alone, with the safety off, with the immortal girl who had (inadvertently) caused Clara's death.
Clara, however was (had been) smart. She'd willingly died to save one of the people she'd met once, she'd told the Doctor not to kill Mayor Me. She'd told him that he couldn't bring his rage on the Street. Clara had told him that his reign of terror would end at the sight of a crying child.
Clara was (had been) right, of course. The Doctor knew he would stop raging on the refugees the moment he saw a child being hurt by his own hand. But that didn't mean he couldn't direct his rage elsewhere. The Doctor already blamed himself for getting Clara addicted to this dangerous lifestyle, for taking away her quiet life on Earth.
Now he blamed himself for her death, too, even though she would hate him having to bear the brunt of that burden. This wasn't the first time, nor would it be the last, that he would lose a companion, and the Doctor had been foolish to think he'd keep Clara for much longer to begin with.
Clara Oswald, the bright young teacher that would give up everything for one of her students, who could love a soldier called Pink, who could look at an ancient, broken alien and accept him, was dead. The Doctor's Impossible Girl was gone.
For the first time, this face was alone. The face chosen to remind himself to be the Doctor was alone, and the Doctor didn't know what to do.
White, fiercely cold rage bubbled up. The Doctor left the Street, leaving Clara's body on the cold cobblestones. All because of a trap, one that held his right arm in a grip that was beginning to cut his circulation off. He shut the door, and ignored the grieving man in front of him. The Doctor refused to look at Mayor Me.
The rage began anew when Mayor Me apologized, and in the next breath, turned on the teleportation bracelet that held his arm in a vice grip.
"What Clara said," The Doctor began, slowly and calmly, "about not taking revenge, do you know why she said that?"
"She was saving you," Mayor Me responded. The Doctor looked at the girl standing to the side of him, seeing the fear written on her face. No. Not Mayor Me. This is Ashildr, the scared Viking Girl who met me all those years ago.
A self-deprecating smirk blossomed, and the Doctor had to force back a derisive laugh, "I was lost a long time ago. She was saving you," The Doctor turned his head to stare at Ashildr with his cold, blue eyes, "I'll do my best, but I strongly advise you to keep out of my way. You'll find that its a very small universe when I'm angry with you."
Ashildr's brown eyes were filled with fear, and she broke the intense gaze, nodding once shakily. The Doctor could see the tears threatening to spill. Good, let her fear for her life like Clara did.
The bracelet beeped and the Doctor turned to face Rigsy. The young man looked beyond terrified and heartbroken, eyes wide with shock. The Doctor felt anticipation building for the next step. It was time to face the people who had set this trap.
It was time to face the people who had inadvertently led to Clara's death.
(LINE BREAK)
This might be a one shot. It'll depend on the next episode, I think.
Please let me know what you think. I love getting messages or reviews, so don't be shy!
Hope you enjoyed.