A/N: This was a request over on tumblr :) go follow me if you wish! It is sinuhmyn-apple. Just a drabble of sorts.

I never understood the fear Negan instilled in his people, why they kneeled before him without question. It was all so strange to me, and on numerous occasions I found myself standing amongst a crowd of bowed heads as he passed by on his way to me, purpose clear in his hazel eyes. I never faltered, not once under his confident gaze, because I knew the man better than anyone here. Perhaps that's why I so willingly defied him and never prostrate myself before him. He always tried to give me that disappointed look, like he was begging me to kneel so everyone wouldn't question his status here, but it always faded once he was close enough to me, where we could feel the warmth of one another's bodies. It was almost surreal, standing here in front of him before his people like a King and Queen waiting to be praised for their ability to reign in such times.

"Lily." His voice left his lips in a hushed tone, as if he was trying to hide the very affection he held for me from everyone surrounding us. But, I heard it clear as the morning sky. I lifted my blue gaze up, catching the gleam in his eyes when a smile fell on my lips. I let his own name fall from them as his mouth tempted to rise into a smile mimicking mine.

"Negan."

Had we not been surrounded by his men, and workers I know he would've taken me right there, he had that look in his eyes that he always got when I was around him. The very one that seduced me into his bed the first time. Except this instance, there was something else there like a hint of wonderment as if he was trying to test the waters on what his next move should be. And I was curious, because I knew Negan like no other did, he played the part of a fearless and ruthless tyrant, but behind closed doors he buried those traits down and the man I knew would emerge in form of a very flirtatious yet somehow gentle man. I cherished those moments, because they were mine alone to enjoy.

"Come with me."

His baritone voice shifted me from my spot, and I obediently followed after his taller form as he walked through the crowd, posture standing high. I could feel the looks they were all giving me, especially the other women in the compound who had sought and lost their fight for his affections. No one truly knew the status of our 'relationship' and we didn't question it ourselves, as if talking about the very subject would ruin what we had. But, I was ok with that.

We walked side by side down the hallway towards his private quarters, and I would exchange curious glances with him as we went along. I wondered why he was being so quiet, usually by now he would've made a lecherous comment or two since we were alone. I reach out to touch him, gliding my fingers over the smooth leather of his favorite jacket but before I could ask him what was wrong I heard something coming from inside of it that made me look up at him bewildered.

"Was that a-"

He gripped my forearm tightly, rushing me into his room. He shut the door quickly before turning his attention back to me. I could tell he wanted to say something, but it appeared he was beaten to the punch line. I watched as a small lump moved inside his jacket, working its way up until a tiny furry head popped out of the top, whiskers curling into the red scarf he wore. A small meow escaped its fanged mouth, making me bite down hard on my lip so I wouldn't risk Negan's anger at laughing at his expense. His face fell into a scowl, obviously not amused at my display.

"Tell one fucking soul about this, and I swear I'll let Lucille have her way with you."

It was a pathetically empty threat, I knew he would never lay a hand on me, but if it made him feel better about the whole thing then I could entertain him. I collected myself, and moved closer, plucking the small kitten from his jacket. I cuddled it to my chest, petting its damp and tangled fur. The poor thing was probably out there for a while, with no one to care for it. I heard him sigh, his hand coming up to drag across his salt and pepper beard as he walked over to his desk to take a seat.

"You wanted a fucking dog right? Found that little shit inside an abandoned house. So, close enough."

Judging by the small scratches on his hands, and neck I knew he wasn't giving me the full story, but I didn't ask for details. I was more preoccupied by the fact that he actually remembered that conversation we had long ago over a meal. And I was reminded why I fell in love with him in the first place, because deep down under that egotistical and calculating mind of his there was a caring man, and I was so lucky to find him. I practically skipped over to him, taking a seat in his lap as I leaned down to plant a grateful kiss on his lips, and when I went to pull away his strong arm wrapped around my waist pulling me down again into another but more bruising kiss. His hand came to tangle into my blonde hair, making me moan into his mouth, unfortunately it didn't last long. He pulled away immediately when he felt a soft touch under his chin, and he looked down to see the kitten rubbing happily against him, purring softly. I tried not to laugh, but this time I couldn't help it. Seeing a tough man like him with such a small animal was more than humorous, even more when his face fell into an expression of annoyance.

"This is your fucking fault."

I smiled at him, knowing fully well he didn't actually mind the kitten too much. But, I could humor him just this once since I was more than overjoyed with his gift.

"I'll take the blame this time, Negan."