I'm so tired. I haven't slept for three days. Every time I close my eyes I see him and can't help but cry. I killed him, I know that I did. Lindsay and Mac told me that it wasn't
my fault, but I know they're wrong. Don and Stella told me that as a cop I can only asses a situation and do the best I can at the time. That doesn't help me though because I
didn't do the best I could. He was only ten years old, as a cop I should have known better than to send him home alone. Adam even tried to tell me that everybody goes when
they're meant to do so. I have a big problem with that. I can't wrap my mind around the idea of a ten year old being "meant" to die. I caused Rueben's death. I took a sweet,
innocent little boy from this world. I took a mother's only son. If Rueben's not here anymore then why do I deserve to be? I know that they will probably call me a coward.
They'll say that I wasn't good enough anyway. Lindsay might cry but eventually she'll be better off. I just can't take it anymore and I don't deserve to be breathing anyway. The
Bible says an eye for an eye right? As I quickly swallow the pills, I can finally feel sleep pulling me down. "I'm coming Reuben."