A child's scream reverberated through Elizabeth's mind, shrill and strangled at the same time, slicing through the sudden thickness in the air, and then everything around her faded away to a carpeted floor covered in debris and glass shards with the air punctuated by gunfire and the screams of children - there was a dead weight on top of her and she could only flinch -
Then Mike B was saying something but she couldn't hear anything over her own heartbeat and she blinked, the familiar interior of the State Department disorienting her for a moment. Her gaze sharpened on where they had landed before her flashback - the photo of Fred Cole on the table outside her waiting area, his easy smile framed and immortalised, but never again in her peripheral vision.
"You good?" Mike B was asking, a casual smile on his face that seemed so out of place - "what?"
"Are you good to go?"
Meeting with Owen Walton - Amazon rainforest in Ecuador - Chip Harding being a pain - her thoughts flooded back in a rush - "yes, yeah, absolutely, I just," she trailed off, waving Blake away, her mind whispering office like it was her lifeline.
At this point, even Elizabeth had to admit that she was a lot less okay than she was pretending to be as she reached out through blurred vision to the phone on her desk, and oh, how she wished she was reaching out to Henry, physically, her lovely, ever patient and protective Henry.
She stayed crouched on the floor for a moment after hanging up, letting Henry's voice wash over her frazzled nerves. She had five minutes for the red in her eyes to recede before she could leave her office and let herself be swept into Henry's arms, so she picked a spot on her coat and stared at it as hard as she could while her mind packed her feelings away until she was free to fall apart.
It took her another couple of minutes before she finally brought herself to stand, wiping away the tear tracks and inhaling deeply with only the slightest tremor. Her gaze scanned her desk as she came to the uncharacteristic decision to bring none of the papers home. Besides, she thought wryly, she had a feeling that Henry was not going to let her anywhere near work for the rest of the day.
"Blake?" she asked, exiting her office with a grace she could only afford because of her extensive training as a spy. Her assistant glanced up at her immediately, uncertainty all over his expression. "Would you tell Mike B to handle the Walton meeting?"
"No worries ma'am, he's already heading to the conference room with Nadine and Laura Vargas," Blake informed her with a tinge of relief in his voice.
Elizabeth nodded to herself. Mike B was no one's definition of warm and fuzzy, but he was perceptive and an old friend of hers. That cleared her path to her motorcade and more importantly, her Henry.
"Thanks Blake. I'll be, um," she cleared her throat, "I'll be heading home for the day," she replied as smoothly as she could. She even managed to keep up her composure while making her way out of the office, out of the building where thousands of eyes watched her every move.
The walk from her office to her motorcade took three minutes, which was three minutes too long in her opinion. But finally her detail was in front of her, opening the door as she climbed into the back seat and finally, finally, Henry was there. His gaze was firm and soft at the same time and he reached over to pull her close, his arms sliding around her waist.
Her shoulders sagged as she exhaled in a rush, crumpling into his lap at last. She breathed in his scent, the scent that spelled safety and unwavering support and home. Henry stroked her hair slowly, gently, his steady breathing guiding hers and she held on to him a little tighter, as though she was making up for the distance she had put between them in the past five days.
Kissing her hair softly, he murmured, "Just so you know, I'm going to hover over you for the rest of the day. No arguments."
Elizabeth just nodded mutely. In that moment, nothing was better than the thought of her husband taking charge of her as she figured out how to put herself back together.
She didn't speak much for the rest of the day. Stevie had gone back to work after visiting her at the hospital but both Alison and Jason skipped their after school activities and came home as soon as they could. Both of them were so terrified that Jason even momentarily forgot to be mad at her for his security detail.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Alison asked for the third time, her eyes peering up at Elizabeth filled with a wide eyed fear that she hadn't seen in a long time. Jason was hovering by the stairs, wanting to maintain his anger but needing to know that his mother wasn't about to drop dead at the same time. Elizabeth smiled and kissed her daughter on the head. "I'm fine, I'm fine, don't worry about it," she coaxed.
Alison nodded slowly to herself. "I'll finish up my homework for today and then I'll cook something light for dinner, okay?" Elizabeth gave her a nudge towards the stairs where Jason was already making his way up somewhat hesitantly.
The composure she maintained in front of her children drained away once she was sure they were both in their rooms and immediately Henry's hand was on her back, guiding her to the couch. She dropped onto the couch in exhaustion, the numbness in her straining her energy. Henry disappeared briefly as she stared into the distance blankly, her mind a mile away, and by the time she refocused on the moment, he had returned armed with ice cream and a fleece blanket.
"You spoil me," she murmured after a few spoonfuls of ice cream as he wrapped the blanket around her.
"Not as much as I should," he replied with a kiss to her temple. "What do you want to do for the rest of the day?"
She looked down at the tub she was holding. "Ice cream?"
Henry sighed. "The rest of the whole day, babe."
"I have no idea where your objection lies."
That cracked a smile out of Henry. "Oh, it is good to have you back," he chuckled but immediately stopped at the look on her face. "Babe?"
"Am I?" she whispered after a second, jabbing the ice cream with her spoon. "Am I back?"
Henry paused, then tucked her head under his chin. "That's up to you, Elizabeth."
She mulled over his words for a long moment before tugging him to lie down on the couch with her. They stayed like that till dinner time, exchanging spoonfuls of ice cream and after the tub was empty, simply drinking in the feeling of each other, properly, for the first time since she reached home five days ago.
He found her late that night - or early the next morning - curled up on Jason's bed, stroking his hair softly. She turned her head when he entered the room and reached out when he came close, her arms closing around his neck. Henry lifted her from their son's bed with much more ease than he was comfortable and headed for their room.
"Let's make a deal," he said after he had set her down on her side of the bed. "Mm?"
"On my birthday every year, I get to pamper you like this," he continued, playing with her hair lightly.
Elizabeth thought it through for a few seconds, working through the sleepy fog in her mind. "See that, that makes no sense. Shouldn't it be the other way round?"
Henry grinned. "Perhaps, but there's nothing I love more than taking care of you."
Her eyes fluttered shut as the stresses of the day caught up with her. "I'm cancelling Jason's detail," she mumbled almost inaudibly, "and I love you," her voice was barely a whisper as she slowly caved to exhaustion.
Henry hummed softly as she drifted into sleep, eyes studying her face as intently as he did the first time they shared a bed almost three decades ago, marvelling at the woman before his eyes who had found her way back to him despite all that had happened, who was strong, beautiful and most importantly, his.