"Jess!" exclaimed Rory.
Jess had just arrived at the doorstep of her room. Her smile faded when she saw his bag.
"Do you need a place for the night?" asked Rory with hope.
"I'm leaving."
"Are you?" Actually she already knew the answer. "At least you're saying goodbye."
"Don't be rude, please."
Rory took a moment to realize what was happening here. She shook her head and smiled to him.
"So, where are you going this time?"
"Where life will lead me, I guess."
She nodded her head remembering these days with him. When he came to Yale to ask her to go away with him. Now he really was going away. Alone, without her, and he was not coming here to ask her the same thing but to say goodbye. Rory knew it but her heart was still full of hope. She didn't want to see him going away like that again.
"You will come back, won't you?" asked Rory a glimmer of hope in her eyes.
"If you need me, I'll be there."
"So we are really saying goodbye, right?"
She made a grimace. Of course she was hurting. Jess had always been there for her, no matter what. They were still connected. Jess and Rory have always been connected. Rory seemed really sad but Jess didn't know what to do. It was a goodbye after all and saying goodbye hurts. Jess hated that. That's why he never said goodbye. So he took a breath and looked at her with love.
"Yeah, Rory... it's a goodbye." whispered Jess.
He took a manuscript out of his bag and gave it to her. She looked at him.
"It's yours. I just wrote some notes in the margins, for you..."
"You'll never change, Jess Mariano," she said with an ounce of melancholy in her voice. "Well, thank you. I'll tell you when I'm done."
Jess smiled to her and put his bag on his shoulder.
"Goodluck."
"Jess! Thank you. Not for the notes, I mean yes thanks for the notes but for everything you do for me. Thanks for being here, supporting me. Thanks for always being on my side even if it wasn't the best solution. Jess, thank you for loving me the way you did."
The thing is... Jess was still in love with her but she didn't have to know that. Or that's what he thought. Rory's eyes were bright, but she didn't want to cry in front of him. Never. That was their thing... : goodbyes. She stared at Jess, she didn't want to forget him. She knew that one day they would meet again. First, because of Luke and her mom and secondly because despite everything they were friends. And friends never forget each other. Never.
Jess was about to leave when she called him. She didn't want him to go through that door. 15 years ago he did the same thing but in the other direction and maybe that was what she wanted. Him. Being here, with her, forever. But that wasn't her decision. Maybe he just wanted to be happy, maybe she was toxic.
"I will always love you."
When Jess heard this he stopped his walk and looked at here. He frowned as he was used to. He always had that kind of expression on his face.
"You said no Rory, remember? No, you said... no."
"I'm sorry."
"And you chose him. So what? You changed your mind because he's not here anymore? Come on Rory! I'm not a second choice. And... trust me, we need to move on. Both of us."
Rory was speechless. He was right.
"I regret it. Forgive me," whispered Rory. "Can you?"
Deep inside her heart she didn't want to move on. Jess placed a strand of hair behind his ear. He sighed and put his hands in his jacket. She stared at him with hope.
"That belong to the past now," says Jess.
Rory smiled and, without knowing why, she cried. She wiped her tears with her sleeve and took Jess in her arms. He placed a kiss on her forehead and he got out of Rory's house.
"Bye Jess."
...
Rory got out of her room. Lorelai was here with a cup of coffee in her hand. The younger Gilmore took a little bit of time before taking a step foward. The older stared at her daughter. She had a smirk on her face.
"It looks like someone is hangover," said Lorelai insisting on the "hangover", making the "o" much longer than the other sylllabes.
"No mom, I didn't drink at all. I'm just tired."
"Ok... but don't lie to your mom, Rory Gilmore. What's wrong ?" asked Lorelai seeing her daughter with a sad face and a bad mood.
"All good, I swear."
"Oh," whispered Lorelai like she had an illumination "Jess ! Am I right?"
Rory rolled her eyes, standing in front of her mom and drinking her coffee.
"Jess is gone and I don't care. The end."
In fact, she was right on the whole line. And Rory cared.
"Did someone told you that you're a bad liar? Because you are, Lorelai Junior. So what ? He didn't said goodbye ?"
"He did."
"Good guy..."
"I can't write anymore. I don't know why, some- something stopped me," said the daughter completely desperate.
Lorelai laughed the coffee pot in her hands. She whispered the name of Luke's nephew.
"Stop with Jess, mom." mumbled Rory who was tired of hearing his name.
"No. You know why ? Because Jess is the key. He has always been the key. So call him, please."
"I call him and what ? That's ridiculous. I'm going to take my shower, see you later."
Rory locked herself in her bathroom leaving her mom alone in the kitchen.
"Call him, Rory Gilmore !" shouted the older Gilmore before going out.
...
Jess had been in New-York for three months since Luke's wedding. He had found an apartment, a roommate and probably a good job in publishing. Three months which hadn't been enough to forget what Rory had said to him. Deep inside he was hoping to hear his phone ring and to her voice.
"Hey man !" said someone with a black tee-shirt and a beer in his hands.
Jess who was sitting on the couch looked up from his book and saw his roomate.
"I found a job," continued the blonde one. "A good job. In Los Angeles."
"Oh, cool," answered Jess without realizing what his new friend was trying to tell him. "What kind of job ?"
"And I'm leaving. I mean, you need to find someone else !"
He was trying to be clear but Jess didn't react at all.
"Yeah, yeah, I get it man ! Don't worry, I'm good you know."
"Sure ?" ask his friend a little bit perplexed. "Maybe your friend from, hmmm, oh yeah Stars something, maybe she could come here ?"
Jess laughs, nervously maybe. His friend, Charly, knew about Rory and their relationship when he asked who was the girl on the wedding picture. First, Charly was interested but Jess had stopped him immediately.
"I'm good." whispered Jess before tapping him on his shoulder and putting his jacket. "I have some things to do, you will be there around 6pm ?"
Charly nodded and Jess left his apartment. He was walking on the street when his phone rang.
"Hello ?" says Jess.
"Jess... it's me." answered Rory on the other end.
He stopped his walk when he heard the sadness and distress in her voice.
"Are you okay ?"
At this time, Jess still hadn't realized that Rory had called him. He was too worried to pay attention.
"You told me if I needed you you'd be right here..."
Her voice was broken. Jess knew that, he could always feel the emotions she was feeling.
"Of course. What's wrong Rory ?"
"Are you happy ?"
"Why ?"
"Are you, Jess ?"
"I don't know. Maybe, I guess yeah. I never considered that question to be honest. Why ? Is everything ok ?"
"I don't think I am. Jess, I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I'm pregnant, I messed up, I- I'm not a good person, I'm not even stable. Do you think I'm a good person, Jess ? And if -"
"Wh- what ? Rory, calm down. Breath."
Jess was setting on a bench. He was shocked about the news. Rory was pregnant and he didn't even knew it. He hadn't feel it. He was trying to sound normal and to calm her down.
"It's okay. You're the greatest woman that I've ever met Rory. That's why I loved you, that why you're my friend and why I'm talking to you right now. You're just lost, I know how you feel, partly, and you need to take some time for you. What's your dream ? I'm not talking about The New York Times or a book. What's your dream ?"
She laughs. Jess could hear that she was sheddind a few tears on the other end.
"See, I don't even have a dream. I'm ridiculous."
"Okay. You know what ? Come here with me."
"I don't know where you are."
"New-York."
"What are you doing in New-York ?" asked Rory to change the subject.
"Come and you'll see. Rory, you need to leave Stars Hollow, and your mom, and your childhood for a while. Come and I swear, you hear me, I swear it's gonna be okay."
"It's not a good idea and you know that, Jess."
"It's never a good idea with you Rory so now I truly don't care. Come or I'll come and get you."
"How's the weather ?"
"Cold."
"Okay. See you soon, Jess..."
Jess sighed after he had hanged up. First, Rory was pregnant and that's was completely crazy. Logan was probably the father or someone else but Rory was not the kind of girl who slept with strangers. Secondly, she hadn't told him about her pregnancy before and now she had told him "I'm pregnant" like he knew it. Thirdly, she was coming in New-York, if he could really believe what he just heard. And to finish he was surely not ready to see her again. But he wanted to, deeply.
...