Chapter 1

Knock, knock

Harvey Specter heard the knocking on his glass door, but ignored it for a good minute.

"Harvey, listen I just want you to know that I'm sorry. No, I need you to know that I'm so damn sorry. I don't know what to say or what to do to make you believe me."

"Mike, it's over. We're over, we're done. Jessica didn't let me fire you because you decided to help yourself out instead of helping me. You didn't help her, no that's not how I see it, Mike. You should've come to me like you always have, you know I could've gotten you out of that jam, but instead you were disloyal to me."

Mike was going to start talking, but Harvey interjected, "I'm not done Mike. I've crossed the line for you numerous times, I've put my job on the line for you and you couldn't even do that for me."

"I'm sorry, Harvey," said Mike softly.

"Not as sorry as I am right now. I never second guess myself, ever. Maybe with you, I should've made an exception." Harvey looked straight into Mike's brilliant blue eyes. Mike could only see anger and disappointment. "I don't need you, Mike. Just go and pretend to be a lawyer elsewhere."

Mike could feel his heart shattering into little pieces as Harvey gave it one last squeeze.

"I never meant to disappoint you, Harvey. The only reason why I was so eager to please you all the time was because…you know it doesn't matter. It looks like nothing I say or do will change your mind."

At this point Harvey was no longer paying attention to Mike.

"Goodbye, Harvey."

"Hey, Mike. Come here to betray us? Oh, wait you already did." As if on cue Donna was waiting for him outside Harvey's office.

All he could do is shake his head and try to hide the steady stream of tears that were working down his cheeks.

"Harvey, what did you tell that poor kid?"

He stared at her. "Donna, please you already know so why ask?"

"This is sensitive I wouldn't dare listen in on this, why else do you think I'd come in here?"

"What makes you think I'm going to tell you?"

"What makes you think you're not?" She smiled.

"I told him what I wanted to tell that idiot. That he betrayed me and that he could pretty much disappear off the face of the earth for all I care."

"OK. I was against forgiving Mike, but sometimes Harvey you go too far. That kid loves you and I know you do, too. I wasn't asking you to forgive him today or tomorrow."

"And I wasn't asking you for your opinion."

"You know what? You're right. Stay mad at Mike, but don't go on pretending like you don't care about him one bit. Go ahead stay mad at him, but if something happens to him tomorrow or next year, you're going to regret it." She stormed out of his office and into her cubicle, but came back just as fast.

"You weren't done?" he said annoyed.

"No. You know that kid grew up without his parents and without any siblings to look up. He was on his own with only his grandmother to guide him and now he's alone. Harvey, I know you had a difficult time too, but you're here for him now.

Since the day you hired him all he's been trying to do is please you and pleased you he has. He's becoming a younger version of you, ambitious, driven and motivated not to say quite handsome. Imagine how hot he's going to be when he's you're age?" she smiled.

"Are you saying I'm old?"

"What I'm saying is that you shouldn't push him away. Make him work for your trust. You're all he's got, Harvey."

He sighed in frustration. He couldn't care about Mike because he didn't care about anyone else, but himself; except for Donna.

He couldn't even remember what he had been working on or what he was supposed to be working on so he gave up and decided to call it a night and head home.

xxXXxx

Even at home, his fortress of solitude, he couldn't get over the days earlier events. He poured himself a glass of whiskey and then another. He wanted to numb whatever he was feeling. There he stood in the middle of his condo. Sure, it was grand but at the end of the night he was still alone.

"Damn it." He dialed Mike's phone number but he didn't answer. He wasn't sure if he was relieved or upset.

"Does this count as drunken dialing? Did I just drunk dial Mike?" he asked himself out loud.

His phone began to ring.

Incoming call-Mike

"Shit." Harvey let it go to voicemail. He figured if he did maybe Mike would think he called him by accident.

He picked up his drink. "Why do I have to be such a dick to the people I care about? Why can't I show them I care?"

His phone rang again, but this time it was a number he didn't recognize so he let it go to voicemail again.

"He betrayed me. He knows how much loyalty means to me, you can't buy that. Why am I so torn? I don't even owe him anything!"

Five random phone calls from a number he didn't recognize and half an empty bottle of whiskey later, Harvey was two seasons into Star Trek.

"Me and Mike would be quoting this," he said laughing.

"OK. If I keep talking to myself I'm going to have to end up committing myself."

He turned everything off and finally headed to his bedroom hoping for some sleep. He thought maybe the alcohol would make him knock out.

Instead he had vivid nightmares about Mike mysteriously disappearing, dying or worse never having existed.

"Mike, why isn't he working today?"

"Who is Mike?" A disembodied voice answered.

"He's my first year associate, Mike Ross, that's who. Why are you trying to be funny… Donna?"

"We don't know who that is; we've never had a Mike Ross here. Are you okay this morning? Too many drinks last night, huh?" the voice laughed.

Harvey frantically walked through the office calling for Mike. "Mike! Mike! Where are you? Why aren't you here?"

"Because you said you didn't want him."

"No!" He woke up with a start drenched in sweat. He rubbed his face with the palms of his hands a couple of times trying to make the nightmare go sway. After all, that's what it had been.

Knowing that he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep he decide to hop in the shower and get ready for work. Once in the shower he turned the water to scalding hot hoping to wash a strange feeling that was steadily crawling to the pit of this stomach.

He had to get himself together because looking shaken up at the firm was definitely out of the question. This morning he decided to go with a grey three piece suit, or what Louis once called a "pimp" suit, white shirt, and black tie. He styled his hair as usual. Finally, he looked at himself in his full length mirror. He grimaced at the circles under his eyes.

With a heavy sigh he made his way down his glass elevator and into his car that was already waiting for him.

xxXXxx

He was starting to read over a case that Mike had been trying to help him with. He was deep in thought, but his mind not on the case.

"Harvey!"

He jumped. "What's your problem Donna?" he said half annoyed half angry. However, one look at her tear streaked face he instantly knew something was wrong. That creeping feeling that had been forming at the pit of his stomach all morning was now full blown.

"Donna, what's wrong?" he whispered.

"It's Mike," she managed to choke out. "He was hit on his way home last night. They were trying to get a hold of you because you're his only emergency contact."

Harvey was trying to remain calm but that was quickly becoming impossible.

"How is he?" he asked not daring to look up at Donna.

"Oh, Harvey it doesn't look good."