Perceptions: The Worth of a Timid Kunoichi
Hinata Hyuuga, heiress of the Hyuuga family, daughter of the head of the Hyuuga clan. From the very beginning she was deemed inferior to lead by everyone in her clan. Her own father thought of her as nothing more but a disgrace to the Hyuuga's family name and honor. She felt no confidence in her own abilities and had seemingly lost any courage she might have thought she once possessed. Her faith in her own progress to change, if not for herself, then for those who had expected so much from her, was destroyed by the very fact that not a single person recognized her as an individual. They simply could not see beyond the empty shell of a girl who was among them, yet not among them. In her own eyes, Hinata struggled with her inability to cope with her situation as a failure to her clan. What could be worse than suffering the insults of those who should have been the ones guiding her to become stronger with both love and affection? Hinata felt the weight of it all as if she had been holding a brick above her head for hours, hoping that her weary arms would not give out from the pain they felt deep inside. Yet there was nothing she could do other than continue to strive to be the person everyone wanted her to be. Every training session was seen through to the end and many times beyond that. She expended her chakra and strength until she had none left to rely on. In so many different ways she tried to better herself and exceed her limits, but when the time came to face the real danger, her skills were far to inferior to match up to ninja who were out of her fighting league.
Hinata failed to see that it was not her skills which prevented her from being on equal footing with her opponents, but instead her lack of confidence in herself which drove her to give up and run. Holding up her hands before her, creating an inexistent barrier, she attempted to protect herself from others. Her fear of losing took hold, although she desperately wished it would not. No matter how hard she tried to push herself to stand up and face her obstacles, it was to no avail.
Despite the fact that she had not blossomed, had not yet found her strength, it still was something that existed deep within her. True strength comes from a place so deep inside a person that many times when they search for it they fail to see it because so many insignificant fears draw their eyes away from the treasure lying dormant beneath the surface. It would take the determination of another to bring her to believe that she was also worth something, that she too could obtain respect when she most rightfully deserved it. This other was not someone people believed in either, not someone people saw potential in, but he was someone who could make others see that true worth does not come from the opinions of others but from the individual striving for it. True worth could not be bought with heroic acts or displays of overconfidence in oneself. No. True worth could only be seen when a person could be shaken to the point of breaking, put down for selfish reasons, beaten down until their blood began to run, and yet still found the courage to stand up once more. True worth shone in the eyes of one who would never back down on their word. This was his way of the ninja and when she saw this, her life changed forever. Hinata Hyuuga not only came to admire this person but eventually came to care for him deeply as well. Uzamaki, Naruto, son of Konoha's fourth Hokage. A boy who grew up disliked by all and yet stood with his head held high as he fought to gain people's attention. A boy who set himself a seemingly impossible goal: to one day become Hokage; and who would later be recognized not as a threat to the village, but as their hero. Here was the one person who Hinata could not help but recognize because he was everything she wished she could be.
So from afar she held him in great esteem and cheered for him when others put him down. On the sidelines she wished him luck inside her head as he faced each of his challenges. Every time he was brought to his knees her breath caught in her throat and then moments later she could swallow that breath because he was on his feet once again; his stance proving that he intended to continue confronting those who mocked his strength and his power. Watching silently, Hinata vowed to not give up on herself either.
It was then that the Chunin exams came. As the weakest in her group she hoped above all else that she would not be the one to hold her team back, although in the corners of her mind the ever looming curse of her past self shadowed her every step forward. Her kindness would not get her through the trails ahead but her determination would. She was shy yes, but not scared. At least she thought she was not. As fate would have it, once pit up against her brother from one of the branch families, one of her own, Hinata began to shrink in upon herself as he hailed insult after insult at her frail form. Her terror went from bad to worse in a matter of seconds as his eyes bore into her. Those eyes, so cold, detesting the girl who stood before him to the point where his anger trumped his sound judgment, left her paralyzed. If there was ever a time to feel guilty about her past it was now more than ever. She was being judged by the very eyes she also possessed. It was as if she was looking into a mirror of 'what might have been' as she took in his deadly appearance. Her heart was racing with fear and she was losing her will to stand. Her mind told her that it was time to flee, time to give in to the truth he had uncovered so easily about her. There was no changing now, how could there be?
Then there was his voice. Even from a distance it rang loud and clearly in her ears. The power of it shook her from her paralysis and pierced the arena for all to hear. He was cheering her on, he was goading her to stand up and fight. He was telling her bluntly not to give up. She was scared only a moment ago and now he was expecting her to take one more step forward instead of turning back. The genuine message in his words left no room for hesitation. It was now or never. Pursing her lips, Hinata switched on her Byakugan and took her families famous fighting stance. Looking straight into her opponent's eyes, she willed him, "Defend yourself, my brother". Then it began.
One hit, then another; her moves proved to be ineffectual against her cousin's farther advanced ones. She faltered and without warning the pain overtook her. Forced to cease fighting, Hinata knew that she was dangerously close to reaching her limit. As she hit the floor in pain, her body begging for it to be over, she could hear Naruto yelling out to her once more. It was not over, not here, not now! Mustering the very last of her strength she stood and looked into her brothers eyes. What she saw changed everything. Reflecting on her past she began to realize that her suffering was not on the same level as his. His hatred for her was not because he expected things from her like the others had, it was because he could not come to terms with the fact that his father had died in her fathers' stead years ago when a tragedy had occurred in the Hyuuga family. It was a hatred born from the grief of losing a father. As she continued to asses him, she began to pity him. He was suffering far more than she could have ever imagined, far more than she was. She felt almost selfish for having never stood up to him until now. But that was going to change. Naruto was the instigator of that change and she was no longer going to run or hide. Indeed, she was shy, but this time she was definitely not scared. With one last effort she charged towards him. The entire room stilled in the moment. She felt pressure against her heart and as she went down, she knew it was over. With that last blow she had not only tried to win the respect of the one she truly admired but her brothers as well. The next couple of moments would be remembered as a hazy dream. She saw Narutos' face, spoke out to him faintly, hoped that she had reached her brother, and then everything went black.
Had she shown her true worth? Had she reached out to Neji, her brother? Had Naruto noticed her?
These questions filled the darkness of her receding dream. Hinata awoke to see sun rays filtering in through the windows of the hospital room she was currently in. As she lay silently in the bed she imagined Naruto kneeling and scraping his fingers through her lost blood and across from him she saw Neji, his eyes still intense and though ghostly white, filled with darkness. Naruto stood and vowed to avenge her defeat. Hinata smiled faintly as the image faded and the blood which had accumulated at the sides of her mouth, from the previous fight with her brother, cracked. She had not won the fight, not won the preliminary round of the Chunin exams, but she had not gone away feeling empty. She had won something else, something no trial exam could ever measure the worth of.