JUNE JOLLIES
Author's Note: This is a third story in my Female Master/10th Doctor stories. The first one is: "April's Fools"; the second, "May Mayhems", so start with those.
The usual disclaimers that I don't own any characters apply.
The Master smiled a superior smile as she saw the town of Somersmet burn from a distance. She loved to see chaos and destruction, and people running for their misspent lives. There was only one being who would destroy her happiness, but fortunately for her, he wasn't around. She was just about to return to her TARDIS to toast her success when she heard the Doctor's TARDIS materializing. Stifling a groan, she ran to get back into her ship. Unfortunately, the Master was a second too late.
"Hey, Donna!" the Doctor called to his companion. "Look at that!" The Doctor pointed to the bonfire ahead.
Donna Noble came from behind the Doctor saying, wryly, "Well, you wanted to find the Master. I guess we found him, her, them…"
"I get it!" the Master said, turning around. "You're a stalker in this incarnation, aren't you? You take a perverse delight in following me around!"
The Doctor sauntered up to her, his hands in his pockets, a mischievous glint in his brown eyes. "Moi?" he mocked. "I don't know what you're talking about, Koschei. I don't try to follow you; you just leave such a big impression when you destroy things that Time Lords and other beings can't help seeing your handiwork for miles in all the known galaxies!"
The Doctor looked at the devastation. "By the way, I surmised that you'd show up here…I know you always like easily controllable people, so I had this tiny planet evacuated about…" he ran his fingers through his hair, continuing, "oh…a millisecond ago."
The Master's hands clenched into fists as she said, "You are so dead!" She started to take her laser screwdriver out of the pocket in her brown leather jacket.
"Oh?" the Doctor replied. "I don't think so."
Before the Master could aim her laser device at the Doctor's head, he said in an authoritative voice, "Put that silly toy away!"
The Master grimaced, but she did as she was told. "What's going on?!" the evil Time Lady asked.
The Doctor smiled, saying, "Nothing you need to know about." His grin grew wider as he said, "Now, apologize for being so rude to me."
"I-I'm sorry," the Master said, struggling to break whatever it was that was making her take leave of her senses.
"That's better," the Doctor said with a smug grin. "Now, tell me in a seductive voice that I'm the best, most intelligent, most handsome, virile Time Lord you've known in all the Universes."
"You are the best, most intelligent, most handsome, virile Time Lord I have known in all the Universes," the Master repeated, her eyes frosting with hatred.
Donna tugged on his sleeve.
"Excuse me for a moment," he told his enemy, adding, "Don't move."
The Master found that she was totally frozen in place.
"What is it?" the Doctor asked Donna.
"How are you able to get her to do all those things?" Donna wanted to know.
"Went to the Plane of Enchantment. Found something amazing there!" the Doctor began. "See, the inhabitants there are the only beings in the universe…well, this one, anyway, that have a magic ring which enables the wearer to command someone who is genetically compatible, to do whatever the wearer says!"
"Doctor…" Donna said warningly. "That's not nice, an' you know it!"
The Doctor smiled an evil smile, saying, "I know! I'm just a dirty ol' man, aren't I?"
"Is she hearin' any of this?" Donna asked.
"I'm sure she is, but she can't do anything about it while she's frozen, now can she?" the Doctor replied, his grin growing bigger with each passing second. "So, let's see, what should we have her do first? The possibilities are endless!"
Donna backed away from the pinstriped Time Lord, saying, "I don't want to be in the fallout of the lightnin' that's going to hit you!"
"Oh, come on, Donna! I'm just trying to get back at her for all the crap she put me through! You know, in the Prydonian Academy, the Master always tried to one up me…always got me into trouble, like some Time Lord equivalent of a sadistic Eddie Haskell," the Doctor said.
"Who?" Donna asked. The Doctor pinned her with a stare, muttering, "note to self: show Donna my fifth self's Leave It To Beaver collection," under his breath.
At Donna's confused stare, the Doctor said aloud, "Never mind." He rubbed his hands together gleefully as he instructed the Master to unfreeze.
"You will pay for this dearly, Theta!" the Master snarled.
"Really?" the Doctor purred. "Well, I think it's time for you to pay! Well, maybe not too much, I am a good guy, after all…"
The Doctor considered for a moment, then bade the Master, "come with me."
The Master followed, powerless to stop herself.
XXXXXXXX
Inside the Doctor's TARDIS, Koschei served the Doctor and Donna iced tea in a room with a mock simulation of a harem room on a pleasure planet. She bent over in her little French maid's outfit the Doctor made her wear, her cleavage spilling over slightly.
"More tea and crumpets?" she asked. She poured a cup of tea for Donna, who eyed it warily, but upon seeing the Doctor drink a cup with no ill effects, the companion drank her drink.
"No, thanks, I'm really stuffed," the Doctor said. "Aren't you forgetting something?"
Koschei bent down to retrieve two feathered fans and started fanning the Doctor with the first one, and then she fanned Donna, who shook her head at the Doctor.
"Have you also finished repairing the cosmetron?" the Doctor asked.
"Not yet," the Master dutifully replied. "Yours is an older model than mine. It will take some time to recall the schematics of a Type 40 like yours."
The Doctor sighed, saying, "Oh, well, you can do that later." He whipped out a huge list from his pocket, saying, "have you cleaned my bathroom with a toothbrush? Every inch of it?"
The Master rolled her eyes, saying, "Yes."
The Doctor checked that item on his list. "And have you cleaned the glass frame covering Rose's picture by my bed without breaking it?"
"Yes," the Master answered, secretly envisioning the torments she'd visit on the Doctor. He checked the list again.
"And have you vacuumed the plush carpet in the Great Dining Hall?" the Doctor asked. The Master nodded. The Doctor went through all of the items on his list, asking about his shoes being shined, his clothes being washed and scrubbed, his hairbrush being cleaned, and so on and so forth. The Master replied an affirmative response to each question. After about fifteen minutes of the Doctor's checking the items on his checklist, he asked Koschei about the books in the library.
"Have you cleaned all the tomes and the bookshelves in the library using the one tiny little rag I gave you yet?" the freckle-faced Time Lord inquired.
"Yes, I dusted them," the Master ground out. She fixed the Doctor with a blue eyed stare, commenting, "really, Theta, do you have to have every volume of every Shakespearean play and piece of literature known to man? Isn't one
volume of that drivel sufficient?"
"Not for me," the Doctor said. "I collect several volumes of Earth literature…one for each time period, you might say." The cheeky, mischievous grin was back as he glanced at the next item on his list.
"Now, for the sock drawer," the Doctor said. "I want you to wash all 3,000 of them by hand, and take your time."
Donna groaned; she was wondering when the Doctor would get his for torturing the Master this way (even if she deserved it). The Master turned from the other Time Lord and Donna, her eyes lighting up with a devilish plan as she left for the Doctor's bedroom again.
XXXXXXXXX
Later, the Doctor decided he'd had enough fun with the Master and, upon sending her back to her TARDIS with a suggestion to program her ship to take her to the end of Time and Space, (where she'd be spending a very long time trying to get back to where the Doctor and any companions were), he decided to change into his favorite striped pair of white and brown socks.
"Donna!" the Time Lord called a moment later from the console room. "Fancy a run for some chips?"
"Yeah," Donna cried. "I'll go get my jacket!" As the titian haired woman ran back to her room, the Doctor felt a warm sensation on his foot. He lifted his leg, wondering what was causing it. The sensation happened on his other leg, too, and by the time Donna had emerged into the console room, the Doctor was hopping from one foot to the other. He had removed his Converse sneakers and socks several moments before, but he still was jumping as though he was on a pogo stick.
"Doctor!" Donna exclaimed. "What's going on?"
"I dunno!" the Doctor shouted. It was then that he spied a little red button blinking on the side of his communications console. The Doctor flipped on the switch, seeing the Master's grinning face.
"Hello, Theta," the Master said. "By the time you get this, I will be long gone! They say revenge is a dish best served cold, but I disagree."
The Doctor continued to massage his feet, but the hot sensation didn't go away as the evil Time Lady continued. "I decided to turn up the heat by putting liquid heat in your socks—it's up to you to guess which ones—when I cleaned them for you. Oh, and this is a special blend! It will continue to get hotter and hotter until you suffer the worst case of blisters on those hairy feet of yours! Of course, you can always get the antidote for the blisters and burns. I'd give you the name of it, but after cleaning and fanning you and your plus sized companion, I can't seem to recall the name…" the Master started laughing, ending with a "Ciao, darling!"
The malevolent Time Lady's image faded from the screen as the Doctor let loose a string of curses, running to the medical room for something that would alleviate the burns he was already starting to feel.
Donna's laughter echoed behind the benevolent Time Lord as she followed him out of the room.
THE END