Pineapple's Brain: "What? THAT'S your excuse!"
Pineapple: Yuh-huh.
Pineapple's Brain: "That's it. I'm outta here..." (Commence feet on stairs, slamming door,
wheels squealing, aeroplane passing overhead noises)
Pineapple: Duuuu-h Puh-leaze enjoy. Hyuck yuck yuck.
Naruto is my homie, but I don't own him or the others.
One-shot; AU; shonen-ai; Naruto/Sasuke. Yeah, baby.
Sasuke's about 25; Naruto about 22. Let's see some age difference, people!
Ladies and gentlemen, loosen your seatbelts, it's time to rock n' roll.
He couldn't teach children, because they're messy and noisy and just plain unbearable. It was pretty much the same for high schoolers, except angst and smart-assness was also thrown into the mix.
But he wanted to teach, and he pretty much wasn't good at anything else.
So when it came time to decide on a career, he figured he'd play it safe and go with middle school. After all, the 'middle' implies the stage of growth where hormones are too much for kids to not notice the opposite sex, but not quite at the point where they realize they can do something about it.
Besides, it's funny watching boys go through puberty.
So Uchiha Sasuke went about his life, finishing high school, applying, entering, and graduating from college, and quickly landing a job teaching brats in his chosen age group.
It was all smooth sailing. Maybe even a little too easy. But whenever that particular thought crossed his mind, he'd shrug it off. No use questioning the grace of Lady Luck.
Three years passed easily enough. Relationships came and went (nothing serious though), faces passed, and Sasuke taught. Weekdays were spent teaching the hope of the future (a future Sasuke would dread when dealing with certain students) and week nights ended in bed by ten thirty. Weekends were spent pouring over a vast stamp collection. Teacher salaries never allow for beer blasts, stein hoists, or keggers; not that such activities interested him.
His stamps were there and gave him something to do. Simple as that.
So one day, that one day that would forever stick in his mind, the one that changed every
following day from being 'just a day' to either a good day or a horrendously bad day; one day,
even though he had plenty of sleep the previous night, Sasuke couldn't help but wonder how he
had possibly managed to wake up late.
Not that he regretted it though.
So there he was, going just a little bit over the speed limit, desperately trying to get to school before the teachers' bell sounded, when a golden-haired maniac darted in front of his car.
Of course, he was still driving slow enough to apply the brakes and successfully not hit the dumbass, but for a few seconds that seemed like a life time, all he and his almost-victim could do was stare at each other in shock. Frozen black met dumbstruck blue for a time before reality broke in and the blonde scowled and kicked Sasuke's front bumper in outrage.
In retaliation, Sasuke punched his horn, making the blonde leap a few feet into the air.
While Sasuke smirked like no tomorrow, the other flipped him the bird and stalked off.
Match point: Uchiha.
Arriving at school a few minutes later than he would have liked (parking was atrocious,
Sasuke found himself called before the principal's office. He had definitely made it just as the teacher's bell sounded, so he had no idea why he was there. He was quiet, he was very cleanly,
and he most definitely didn't harass other teachers or have a social life that would cause problems. Hell, did he even have a social life?
But the principal immediately flashed him that disarming smile, the one that instantly raised his hackles in defense because he knew, by experience, that it was THAT smile she used to sucker and con people into doing her bidding.
And when she stepped aside from the door, a stupidly-familiar figure was revealed that made Sasuke wish he had just called off.
"Hey there." The yellow-headed almost-victim smiled, his eyes squinting, no doubt the reason why he didn't tackle Sasuke on sight. The Uchiha backed away just in case.
The eyes opened, friendly and earnest and blue, blue, blue, freezing Sasuke in place. Friendly, that is, until recognition dawned and was replaced by murderous rage. He opened his mouth to say something (or scream, most likely), but the curious and stern look from the principal shut him up before anything could be said or done.
They settled on glaring instead.
Ignoring them, the principal quickly introduced Sasuke and mumbled something about him having to show the new teacher to his classroom. That being said, she closed the door in their protesting faces and went about her business.
Sasuke stood there for just a moment before angrily whipping around dragging off the stunned educator. Hissing about the injustices of the world, he promptly forgot about the blonde struggling under his head-lock until he was in front of his own classroom door. A few early students milled around them, gaping at the spectacle.
Letting go, he waited a moment while the other caught his breath and the colour returned to his face.
"What room number do you belong in?" He frowned. He really didn't want to deal with this. Just looking at the boyish face and bright hair made him angry.
The victim stood, massaging his neck and muttering to high holy hell. After a moment his eyes opened again, taking in his surroundings.
"You don't have to help me. My room's right there." He frowned, pointing to the room next to Sasuke's.
Next to Sasuke's.
Next... To... Sasuke's...
The room that shared an interconnected closet with Sasuke's, meaning a crummy little space lined with shelves and steeped with junk that connected their classrooms. A closet that had no doors covering either end, because of budget cuts, making both classrooms completely open each other.
It seemed Lady Luck was really a bitch.
Sniff. After all this time, I'm finally releasing this fic. It's the second oldest, right after HORSE. I've spent so much time pouring over it, redrafting and toying with it... (Shudder- My friends are right, I'm too sentimental...)