Awakening in a New World

by Flakhead

Short story I did back from 11th grade, also I learned something about this site, PEOPLE ARE CRITICS! But atleast they explain their complaints which I respect.

AWAKENING IN A NEW WORLD (Short story).

There I was, laying in my foxhole, private Robert Hawkner, or as my squad mates call me "War Hawk." I am 22, single guy, never could find a girl and didn't have the time, also wasn't really on my priority list either. I was bored and dead tired, but for some reason couldn't fall asleep even as tired as I was, it was if I was waiting for something to happen. It was cold out, I'm guessing the temperature was about hi 30's/ low 40's; nothing like the November cold to warm you up. I put my hands under my armpits to try and keep them warm, my gloves helped a little bit, but my fingers were still freezing. I was just kind of leaning in my foxhole and got comfortable. Earlier there was a battle, and I got separated from my squad, so I don't know what happened to them. It was dark out, with a heavy fog so I couldn't see far in front of me, I'm just glad I could see how far I could see. The clouds were hiding the moon. There was nothing but silence. It was so quiet that I could have sworn that the mist was making noise, like it was alive, like there was something in it ready to pounce and attack me.
"How much longer until daylight," I mumbled to myself.
I took a big and deep yawn. I finally said screw it, I'm taking a nap.
"Ok, now look I'm taking a cat nap. If there is any enemy out there who can hear this whisper, or some monster for some reason your out there, wait until I wake up to fight me ok? Thank you for your cooperation," I said in a whisper, but in a tone as if someone was listening. I laughed a little at myself for talking to things that weren't there; man I think I've gone a little over the edge. I soon dozed off. I dreamed we were all at a bar, me and my friends, hanging out; we were full of laughs and enjoying the night, and lucky for us the dancing girls were fixing to come on. Suddenly there was a loud and clear rifle shot, as though I wasn't asleep and it was real life, and the shot came to me.
I jumped awake and grabbed my rifle, ready for anything. I was expecting to find a enemy soldier standing over me, having shot me. But nothing, just me in the foxhole in the middle of a heavy fog, alone in the night. I lowered my rifle, glared and slapped my hand over my face.
"It's always I wake up to the stupidest thing in my dream, right before the dancing girls come out!" I snarled at myself. For some reason my head hurt, as if it was blown away or cracked open. I reached in my pocket and found some Advil, a soldiers best friend besides his rifle, and swallowed it done with some water from my canteen. I then went back to looking at the fog with a glare, but something was different. I heard a faint noise in the distance. It sounded like screeching metal of some machine, but this only lasted for a couple of seconds. I then slowly looked around me. The blasted fog was still there and the clouds blocking the moon were still parked in place. I then heard behind me trotting footsteps, they then went from behind me to all around me it seemed, I was un able to track the position. They then stopped. My rifle was aimed and ready for what was in the fog. I saw a shadowy figure in the fog, kind of standing there. I was quiet and had my rifle aimed at him, not knowing who, or what it was. The shadowy figure then walked my was a ways, getting closer until it became the outline of a man.
"Freeze or I will blow your guts out!" I yelled at him. He then stopped. The couple of seconds seemed like minutes that turned into hours.
"Hey War Hawk is that you" it called out to me. I had no idea who it was, but must have been from my squad, only they call me that nick name.
"Yeah man, I'm here, get in here quick," I replied back to him.
He then some how disappeared from the fog, which confused me. And then a few seconds later he had jumped in the foxhole with me with a loud thump of him falling in. He was at the other end of the foxhole where I couldn't see his face or anything, just the same shadowy figure. He then looked me.
"So War Hawk when did you get it?" he asked me. I looked at him confused.
"Um, dude I don't know your name, I know you're from my squad, and I have no idea what you are talking about, I've been stuck in this foxhole the hole time," I told him.
He was quiet for a second.
"Sigh War Hawk, you will see soon enough what I am talking about" he said with a laugh. I then knew who it was.
"Loki is that you" I asked him.
"Um which Loki, there are 2 you see, your squad mate and the real Norse god who is back at the bar," he replied, laughing.
"What are you talking about you bumbling idiot, have you gone crazy with madness from this war or something?"
"Maybe you're the one who doesn't know what is going, or what happened," he told me. I could tell by the sound in his voice he had a smirk on his face, smarting off to me. But when ever I try (or anybody else tries) to ask him a simple question he usually replies in a series of riddles so I figured he was just being himself. The moon had cleared up some, along with the fog, so I was able to see a little more of Loki. He had on a helmet that covered his head and covered his ears along with the back of his skull and neck. He had on a set of goggles with a shadowy tint to them and a bandana (or some rag, maybe even a ski mask) that covered his face. Everything concealing his head had been roughed up, his goggles scratched up, and tears in his helmet cover.
Some time had passed before any of us had said anything. We were each doing our own little things to keep us free from the imprisoning boredom that could consume us. I happened to look over at Loki. He had been still for sometime now, he was asleep I had assumed.. He was still breathing so he wasn't dead.
"Hey Loki you alive over there?" I asked him. There was no reply, just the same silence from earlier.
"Hey Loki you asleep?" I then stopped and thought to myself and realized that the question I just asked was pointless. Yes of coarse, a person who is sound asleep can answer you, just like the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor in 1941! I wish he could answer me in his sleep though, just like I wish cows could automatically transform into a big juicy steak. I looked back over at Loki, still sound asleep. I tossed a dirt-clod at his head, just as he did me once, to see if I could wake him up. It hit him and all he did was nudge a little bit.
"Hey come on man, wake up, it's your turn to take watch," I told him. I leaned over and grabbed his arm to shake him awake; I froze to what I felt. His coat had felt faded and worn, almost the way a old work rag feels, and where his arm was, it felt smaller and more roundish, as if it was a bone. I kind of fell backwards, not scared, just in a state of shock. He slowly moved a little and awoke. He then looked at me.
"You ok man, whats up" he said in a tired voice.
"Just letting you know its time to switch, you watch, I sleep," I told him. He then just shook his head and said "Oh you will see soon enough where we are in this New World. The changes and the adventures that await us, you'll be too pumped up on testosterone to be worried about sleep, though you will still need it,".
I had no clue what he was talking about now, I was completely lost, and I had just started to not even care. When was this fog going to go away, when will I see the morning sun? The darkness was what was really aggravating me, and being stuck in a hole with a Riddler wanna-be wasn't helping either. I still couldn't figure out what I had grabbed when I shook Loki. He asked me "Hey did you move me rifle by any chance?"
"I think so, I might have done it by accident when I shook you awake," I told him. Loki suddenly jutted his head up and was peering out of the foxhole, looking into the fog (it had lifted up some for once) and then jutted back down. He looked at me and put his finger over his mouth, signaling me to be quiet. Loki and I could hear faint footsteps in the distance, closing in on us. I readied my rifle and so did Loki, but that was when I noticed something. Loki had his rifle on his right side, I grabbed his left. He then peered his head out of the foxhole again, looked at me and turned his head back towards the fog. As he turned his head back towards the fog, it was if it was perfect timing. There was the crack of a rifle firing. I saw as Loki's goggles shattered and pieces of glass flew and reflected in growing moonlight as his head jolted back and he slumped down. I didn't know what to say, all I could feel was a need to avenge my fallen friend. Right before I popped up and fired at the unknown advances, I noticed Loki barely moving. How could this be, he just go shot in the face. My body went cold from shock as I saw him lift up and peer back towards the fog. He then proceeded to lift his goggles over his helmet and slide off his rag covering his face. I couldn't believe it, at what I was looking at. Underneath that helmet was a skeleton skull, with glowing yellow eyes. He cocked his head back and spit the bullet in his hand and then lifted his gun and began to unload his clip into the direction the shot came from as he yelled a war cry. There were thuds of bullets hitting bodies and bodies hitting the ground. Soon this was over and Loki hopped out of the foxhole. I couldn't move and I didn't want to move. He then looked at me.
"I told you things have changed," he told me " Here a souvenir for you my friend." He then tossed me the bullet that had hit him.
The fog had then lifted and the clouds were gone. The whole place was illuminated from the light of the moon. I was still in the foxhole and wasn't ready to come out. What had happened, what was Loki talking about earlier? Am I dead in some kind of hell, why was he a skeleton, what happened? Suddenly I saw a shine of a shield approaching from the north towards Loki and I. From what I could tell it was a Greek soldier. He had the horse hair crest (the crest was sideways, representing him as a officer) and bronze armour. He had his shield and spear ready approaching Loki.
"Oh crap," was what Loki said. He then aimed his rifle at advancing Greek and pulled the trigger. There was a click and then his clip fell out; he had forgotten he ran out off ammo. Loki frantically looked for a clip on his belt as I finally got out of the foxhole on the opposite side of Loki, trying to sneak away, but Loki's attempt to look for a clip was useless. The Greek charged at him, knocking him down with a shield bash in the foxhole and then the Greek jabbed his spear in there, from what I guess, killing Loki (which I don't understand how a bullet doesn't kill him, but why is any of this happening anyway). The Greek then looked at me. As I got up and readied my rifle, the Greek lunged over the foxhole towards me, bashing me with his shield and knocking me down and knocking my rifle away from me. He then struck the spear at me while I was on the ground, but I managed do dodge it by rolling to my side. He tried this several more times until finally one strike I dodged, I grabbed the spear and his arm and pulled my self up as fast and as hard as I could, slamming my helmet into his, finally getting him off of me. This stunned the Greek, making him disoriented for a couple of seconds. I managed to get my bayonet ready, it was the only thing I grabbed for some reason, but it was in the heat of the moment, so I was trained that way to go for it. The Greek came at me again, charging at me. I readied my fist and punched him in the face of his helmet as he charged me, I regret doing that. As I punched him, my knuckles shattered and my fingers broke from punching his bronze helmet. I managed to knock his helmet around a little, buying me a couple of seconds. I then tackled him to the ground and got on top of him and went for a death kill with my bayonet, but somehow he was quicker and when I got on top of him, he managed to get short sword in my stomach. I couldn't see it, but I felt it. I felt liquid rise in my throat and into my mouth. I knew I was going to die. I looked at the Greek below me, and with all of my last summoned strength, I yelled a great war cry and jabbed my bayonet in his eye slit of his helmet. The arm and hand that was holding the sword fell to the ground and his body went limp. As for me, I slid and fell to my side on the ground. I just laid there, getting tired. I finally said to myself "I'm finally getting that nap I wanted" and fell asleep, the last one I was going to take I guessed.
Everything was black, I didn't feel anything, just me in my thoughts, was this what death was like, just blackness and you being in your thoughts. But then I noticed something. The darkness was slowly going away, and I was seeing something. The feeling to my body was coming back. The something I saw was getting clearer and clearer. I was hearing faint sounds of voices, as if they were in a building. I then started to blink and there I was. I was standing in one piece, no battle wounds, and my guns were gone. Just me with my clothes and my belt, which only had my standard issue knife on it as a weapon, everything else was just ammo pockets, more pockets, and my canteen. I even still had my Advil. I looked around me, it was still night time. I was on a brick road with light poles in front of a place called "Odin's Hall". Wait a minute, how am in a Norse heaven, am I in Valhalla or something! There were voices coming from the place. I saw people go in, they looked like soldiers from different eras. I saw 2 civil war soldiers, a north and a south, walking into the place, chatting away and laughing like they had been best friends since birth. There were other people walking inside the place, it was huge and long in length. I was still in a haze, trying to figure out stuff, like wasn't I just fighting a Greek soldier and got stabbed? Anyways I'm alive, that's good enough I guess. I decided to go into Odin's Hall, maybe I could find somebody with some answers. I then noticed a particular person walking in, it was Loki. I then sprinted towards the place, Loki better have some answers for me. As I ran inside I was amazed by the beauty of the inside of the structure. There were coat of arms on the walls, knights' armored suites hanging from the wall and set up as statues, and there was the smell of the best food ever, now that I mention it, I completely forgot I was starving, I better find Loki soon or this food would have overtaken me. There were people everywhere in tables against the wall. There was a bar-type structure in the middle of it all, people everywhere filled this place. It wasn't crowded and there were plenty of seats and tables left, as if this place was expecting more people. There were also these beautiful women, dressed with what seemed the most beautiful cloths and clothing (I think it might have been silk or something more expensive and well crafted) and they also had on this decorative armour. Each woman was more beautiful then the next. I was amazed. I should have been paying attention to where I was going. I suddenly bumped into somebody. I looked and it was the Greek I had fought earlier. We were both looking at each other, I was scared, I didn't know what to do. We were killing each other earlier and now here we are again, face-to-face. I still couldn't see his face underneath his helmet, but he somehow recognized me. He then lent out his hand to shake mine and said with enthusiasm "Now that was great fight earlier lad, caught me by surprise with that knife to the face, that was great on your part! Leonidas is name, come on War Hawk I'll show you to your friends."
I followed him back a ways, there were people everywhere, warriors from all over and from different times as earlier, I saw mostly Vikings though. Leonidas finally led me to a table and I couldn't believe it; there they were, my friends, my squad mates. There was Sarge, our leader, my best friend Ryan, Frank, Howard "Howitzer" (he was our explosives guy), and finally Joe or as we know him Loki. They all looked up and saw me, they couldn't believe it as I couldn't. They all let out cries of joy as they saw me, I about broke down into tears. They cleared a spot for me to sit down, and were asking me questions, the same as Loki asked me, "What happened, how did you get, when did you die," the same questions from earlier. I then looked at Loki and asked him "What are they talking about?"
"Ok it is like this, we are in the after life, we all died, but we are not ghosts or spirits. You're the same as you were on Earth, or what ever we came from. I think we were on Earth. Look I'm still learning the details to, here let this big guy tell you".
I turned around there was this big Viking guy, but I recognized him from the start when I saw that hammer, or as its name, Mjöllnir. It was the almighty Thor himself, the god of thunder. I was struck with awe, or was it fear? Whatever it was, I couldn't speak or move.
"So you want to know what happened? Well hand me that cup of ale and turkey leg and you got yourselves a story," he told us. I practically threw the leg at him, and gave him the jug of ale. He then laughed at himself, saying that "all the new guys do this." He then proceeded with his story.
"Ok what happened is yes, you have been killed, but it wasn't from Leonidas. Remember earlier when you were asleep in your foxhole and dreaming that you were at a bar with your friends? That was a vision of the afterlife, or the next world you transcend to after you have died. Scientist think that dreams are based on memory, but they are wrong. Dreams are visions of the next life. If you are having good dreams, that means you are doing the right things in life. You are seeing visions of the place you will be in the afterlife. Hitler had nothing but nightmares for he was seeing the Hell he was going to. Sometimes you get a chance to redeem your self by being sent back down to your old life and have time to do some good and fix things. Other times your crimes of evil might be so severe you will never have a chance of redemption. Anyways back to you, you see what happened to you was that shot you heard, what happened was a enemy sniper somehow got a glimpse of the back your helmet and fired. That is why your head hurt when you woke up. Your friends got killed in a artillery strike 1 hour before you got killed, and when you move into the next world, your surroundings look the same until you move and on your own, figure out you have died. Also from Leonidas has told me, you gave him a good fight."
Your old life was kind of a test to see where you will get placed, if you are deemed worthy. All religions are true, Judaism, Christianity, Buddhism, Paganism, Greek Mythology, it is all true and they are all in their own realm. You can visit each realm if you want, but you must never put yourself before the religion, and must never offend that region if you visit for you will be punished. All the religions live in peace and harmony."
Anyways you are wondering why Loki was a skeleton soldier. Well you are in the land of Valhalla, and we fight all day and party all night. When you fight you can look like what ever you want by drinking potions, that is how he did it, he isn't a zombie ok. You are not a ghost or anything, you are in your body as it was before. Anyways can't wait to see you on the battle tomorrow buddy, have any questions, just ask around." With that Thor patted me on the back and walked away.
There we were, our squad, sitting at a table in the after world. We were quiet for sometime, until I looked at Loki and asked him "Why did you come to me looking like a skeleton?"
"Well, um, I wanted to surprise you".
I glared at him and threw the turkey on the table at him and socked him in the face with it. We all cracked up and busted out laughing at his face, it was covered in turkey meat. He then smiled and attempted to retaliate by hitting me with a drumstick. I dodged the flying drumstick and it hit the guy behind me. He then turned and looked at us. We all pointed at Loki. Lucky for us the stranger had a since of humor and threw mashed potatoes at Loki, smothering Loki's face with it. I suddenly jumped on the table and at the top of my lungs yelled "FOOD FIGHT!" Right as I finished my sentence Leonidas hit me with cake. It was on. The whole place become a battle zone of flying food. People were enjoying themselves with this, the place was becoming a mess of food every where. Laughter was all that was heard. It was so hard to breathe we were laughing so hard. I noticed Thor actually trying to eat. The expression on his face was hilarious for he was trying to hold back the laughs himself. He had a turkey leg in his hand and was fixing to take a bite out of it when a flying cucumber knocked it out of his hands. He had the expression on his of "what the"? He then proceeded to pick up his plate when a flying pumpkin took it the plate to the ground with it. He then said "What! Oh come on" as he laughed at the situations that just happened. I then eyed his cup of ale. He then looked up and saw a flying watermelon that was coming for his ale in a cup. He tried to reach for his ale but it was to late. He had felt the tip of the cup when the watermelon flew by and took the cup to the wall. He then bowed and banged his head against the table and cursed the flying vegetable, he was cracking up, we all were. The war of the foods lasted 20 minutes. We were all tired and trying to catch our breathes from the laughter. We soon left Odin's Hall and were outside. The sky was morning gray for the sun was coming out. There we stood outside, wondering, "now what do we do?"
"Well guys, we have a hole new world here, anything you could imagine exist, so what do you say we go do a little exploring?" proclaimed Ryan. We all agreed and went of into the unknown. I hope I get to see Godzilla here, he was my childhood hero. Some of the Valkyries from Odin's Hall tagged along, they were kind of our tour guides. This place was still a dangerous one, but hey so was the previous life. It was good here, I guess I would call it paradise. Anyways I never wanted to go back to the old life, I wanted to start a new adventure here, and so I did. This was the last time I questioned life & death.