I Can't Seem to Make You Mine
A Dramione Songfic
Hermione sat on a stone bench facing the Black Lake, her face wet. There was a ripple in the water as some vastly immense water creature nestled lower into its muddy bed. The moon shone brightly, brighter than Hermione had seen it for weeks, and she wished it wouldn't. It made her feel exposed, even though there was no one to be exposed to. Everyone else was inside the castle. It was past curfew and everyone else was in their dormitories, or as in the case of the Gryffindor house, in the common room celebrating Ron's winning victory over today's Quidditch match.
Her eyes brimmed when her emotions bubbled up just as she thought she had fastened them down. She had been here for at least an hour, twirling her wands, practicing charms every now and then. She hugged her sweater tighter around her.
Hermione suddenly saw a flash of the image of Lavender Brown leaping up to fling herself on Ron. Hermione's heart had backed away icily and she had subconsciously honed in on their lips meeting. The sudden image made Hermione choke as she gasped for air.
Hermione jolted when she heard a rustling to her right. She rose and walked to the tree she sat under, hiding in its shadows. The lake darkened as a thick cloud passed over the moon. Hermione could see only a figure. Was it a dog? It was on all fours, but then it made a noise like crying. Only it wasn't crying; it was the intensity of emotion so strong one couldn't cry, one could only gasp for air and choke.
He was clutching at the grass, tearing it out, his head bowed, his body hunched and shivering. He rolled his face against his knuckles as he gasped for air and as he did so his face turned toward Hermione. She saw the sharpness of his facial features and his skin was pale. She saw a glint of his white hair. He slumped to his side and rolled onto his back, his breathing heavy as he drank in the air. He seemed to be calming down.
And then Hermione saw it. The mark on his forearm as it turned up. The mark of the death eaters. She gasped as his situation came to light. Of course she couldn't know what was really going on, but she'd bet anything it had to do with that tattoo, some task assigned to Draco.
And then, seeing his vulnerability and the heaviness of the weight he bore, as his conscience shook, Hermione felt compassion for him.
"Say no, Draco," she called softly.
He started, sitting up quickly, grass in his hair, his face still distorted from his weeping, and he shoved his sleeve over his mark. "What?" he whispered, his eyes wild trying to see into the shadows, searching for her.
Hermione came forward, slowly. His face contorted into a sneer, but he could only hold it for a moment as his chin quivered and he only looked like he were about to cave in again. She rushed to him, sitting beside him on the grass. He turned from her, his expression cold. "Leave me, Granger."
Hermione took his arm. She pulled up his sleeve gently and stroked the mark. "You're not one of them."
"I can't just turn away!" he barked angrily, shooting an awful, tense scowl at her. His demeanor seemed to plead for an answer just the same. He was about to say something, but choked and began to cry again. His chest wretched as his lungs clawed for air and clasping her arm with a grip so tight Hermione could feel his nails digging in, he hid his face in her neck.
She wanted to respond to his grasping with some sort of hug or anything, but he held onto her so tightly she could only reach up with her free hand and stroke his hair. It was surprisingly soft.
Her heart turned within her. She forgot about Ron and Lavender. She forgot about Harry's suspicions of Draco being a death eater. She forgot about everything. She only knew that her heart had softened towards Draco and she wanted to save him.
"Leave them," she whispered, "Run away. Get out. You're not one of them."
"My father," Draco gasped, "Is in Azkaban and the Dark Lord is displeased. This is the only way to make it right. For my family to earn his favor back. I…I can't refuse him." He shuddered. Hermione could feel his tears running down her neck and wetting her clothes.
Their small hill by the lake was dark and they were completely hidden as rain began to fall. Hermione heard the drops splattering on the leaves above them.
She continued to stroke his hair, running her fingers down his neck to calm him. His grip loosened. He shifted his head only a little. Hermione was surprised to feel that he was softly kissing her neck. His hands on her arm became soft as one slid behind her to her back to pull her closer and the other reached up into her hair.
Her heart pounded and she realized that this was all she wanted. Just Draco. If there were a way to save him, it would be with love. Love she knew she had harbored for him since they first met. His slurs and insults toward her had caused her so much pain and dampened her spirits, but the love had never faded.
It was a warm coal, glowing in the furthest corner of her heart. It suddenly leapt into a roaring fire.
Draco looked into her eyes. "I always wanted this." His eyes still looked scared and wet, but now she didn't know if it was because he was afraid of Voldemort or her rejecting him. "I always wanted you."
Hermione leaned in closer to him. She brushed the wet hair out of his eyes with one hand and cupped his sharp cheek with the other. Their breath mingled, their noses touched, and then Draco rushed in without warning. His lips melted onto hers, and his shaking body relaxed slowly as he collected the warmth in her kisses. "I love her," he thought. And then, his heart sinking, "No one can know."
My first songfic! Review please!