Ok, I'm trying something different. Say whatever you like coz I don't care. I guess you don't need to be too nice anymore, coz this is my second fanfic (go me!). This is for all the Artemis Fowl fans that feel like reading a strange and extremely pointless fanfic. I don't own any of the following characters; they belong to Eoin Colfer. This is an Artemis/Holly pairing.
Have fun, drink vodka, anything's possible!
"Fowl, you idiot! What the hell were you thinking?"
"I thought you said this was the way to the toilets, not a janitors closet, Short."
"I never said anything of the sort, idiot mud-man. I said the toilets were third door on the left."
"Well this is the left, isn't it?"
"No, Fowl. This is the right-hand side of the corridor. I told you that on the way into the LEP"
"Oh… but that makes absolutely no logical sense. This is on the left."
"Yes, Mud Man. Now, if you please, open the goddamn door"
Muffled thumping noise. "…"
"Well?"
"It's stuck."
"What the hell are you on about, Fowl?"
"The door won't open. As in it's stuck shut. And we're trapped."
"D'ARVIT!"
"Pardon?"
"Oh never mind. Your brain is too simplistic to possibly understand."
"…"
"Have you tried the handle, Mud Man?"
"Negatori, Short. And stop calling me Mud Man. It hurts my feelings."
"What, you haven't tried the handle? What kinda frigging idiot are you?
"Ha, ha. Very funny, Short. There isn't a handle."
"WHAT?"
"There isn't a handle on the door, you idiot."
"D'arvit, Fowl, I'm not an idiot. You need an IQ of at least 800 to be accepted into the LEP"
"Yeah… so what do we do now?"
"HHHEEEELLLLPPP! I'M STUCK IN HERE WITH A FRIGGING MUD MAN AND I'M GOING TO DIE!"
"Holly, SHUT UP! I don't think anyone can hear us."
"Help…"
"What happened to Butler?"
"I don't know. Maybe he got lost, or went to the actual toilets. I'm sure he'd at least have a small brain in that Neanderthal skull of his."
"…"
"…"
"How about we play a game?"
"What do you have in mind, Mud Man?"
"Truth?"
"Truth? How do you play that?"
"Well, we take turns asking questions and the other person must answer it honestly."
"How about… NO."
"Why not?"
"There are some things I don't want to tell you."
"Fine"
"…"
"…"
"So, um, how's your mother doing?"
"She's not insane anymore. I wish I hadn't asked you to make her better, though."
"Why?"
"She's always sticking her nose into what I'm doing. Like when I was searching for my father a few years ago."
"…"
"…"
"What do you think of squirrels?"
"High-pitched, squeaky voice There isn't any in here is there?"
"Why?"
"Um, I, err, a, don't exactly like them."
"The Brave Master Fowl, kidnapper of The People, Criminal Mastermind from the age of twelve, is afraid of an iddly wee squirrel?"
"…"
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"It's not funny!"
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"…Blushes deep red…"
"Hahaha, why are you afraid of squirrels? Hahaha."
"What kinda stupid question is that?"
"Just answer the question, Mud Man."
"It's their itty wee hands. Small hands creep me out!"
"AHAHAHAHAHA! Hey! I have small hands, even for an Elf."
"NOOOOOO! The small-handed creatures are coming to get me!"
"Oh, for the love of the Earth, Mud Man. GROW UP!" Slaps Artemis
"Hey, don't slap me! I have a very delicate skin condition. And don't call me Mud Man. I've already told you how that makes me feel."
"…"
"…"
I will try to update this fanfic once I have 5 reviews. Just 5 reviews for this chapter, that's all I'm asking for. Please give any ideas, as they are much appreciated. Also, put in a random word with your review (I know this is a strange request, but this is one of the ways I get ideas for writing stories.). The weirder the word, the better (and if you don't think I'll know what the word means, please put in a brief description/explanation!)Pink Flamingo Girl(aka FishStixSatay :) )