Disclaimer: Dracula is a character created by Bram Stoker. I own nothing.
If Dracula did the Old Spice Guy thing:
Dracula: "Good evening, ladies. Look at your vampire in the eyes. Now back to my eyes, now back to your vampire's eyes, now back to my eyes. Alas, your vampire might not be me (he even sparkles and shatters like a porcelain dolly) but if he stopped using Bella's body wash he could start to enthrall like me with Old Castle aftershave. Look down, back up. Where are you? Now you're in the Carpathian mountains being abducted in the chilly night by a man in a black cloak that your vampire could enthrall like. What's in your veins? Now back to me. I have it. Offering you ever-lasting life as you have always dreamed of. Your tears are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your vampire enthralls like Old Castle and not Edward Cullen. I'm a bat."