Explosions flashing all around him in the dark. Fire raging out of control on the tanker below. Impossibly strong adversaries with burning bright orange eyes appearing at an instant and then disappearing as a suit swooped past. All Tony could feel was the cold bar of metal pressing painfully against his hips as he strained with all his might, begging Pepper to trust him, hand outstretched waiting to catch her, to save her from his own ego and stupidity. She looked into his eyes, her face tense with worry and fright.
"I can't reach you, you have to jump, trust me!" Tony pleaded.
And she did.
Tony lunged his out stretched hand towards her, felt her fingertips brush his and then felt his heart stop as he watch her fall past his reach, down into the flames so far below. Numb painful disbelieve. Shock, horror. No time to feel. More bright lights flash. Everything around him is a blur. Fighting, dodging, pain, more fighting. Ending up on the deck spent and exhausted. Watching with disbelief as Pepper rose from the dead, from plumes of fire like a proverbial phoenix, her eyes burning bright orange…
Tony woke with a sharp intake of breath. His bed sheets, drenched in sweat, were knotted around him as if he'd been thrashing about. His breathing nothing more than ragged irregular gasps of air. It took him a moment to register that he was safe in his own bed. The short burst of relief that allowed him to regain control of his breathing was quickly followed by a crushing blow to his chest as he remembered his dream. How he desperately wished that it had happened like that. His mouth twisted into a wry smile that came nowhere near his tormented eyes, his mind even liked torturing him in his sleep. He vaguely wondered if that was caused by his insomnia or if his insomnia was caused by his mind torturing him. He flopped down from the half raised stance he had awoken to and allowed himself the dark indulgence of running his dream though his mind. Not that he hadn't done that a thousand times already. If only Tony had been able to catch her like he promised, if only, Peppers body had accepted the extremis vaccine allowing her to survive, if only he hadn't pulled that damn stupid stunt with the cell phone that allowed them to find her, if only, if only.
Tony pulled the covers back and swung his legs over the edge of the bed, sitting for a moment with his head in hands. The pain of waking up to no Pepper was hard enough. A sharp stabbing pain that lanced its way through every aspect of his life. That along with the constant empty ache, Tony could just about bear. That was his punishment after all. A constant reminder that he had failed in just about every way possible. No Tony could just about endure that. What crushed him was knowing that Pepper's last act was to trust him. He'd promised to catch her, and his last act to her was to let her down again. His mind quickly flashed to the day of the funeral before he could close it down. Hell no! He pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes to try and stop the burning feeling that was threatening but the hitch in his breath he could do nothing about.
"Pull yourself together Stark" he growled at himself. Turning his head he cast a resigned glance over at the bedside clock, 2.45 am; shit not even two hours sleep. Tony raked his fingers through his hair then stood up. He wondered where exactly it was 5pm in the world as he padded softly to the bar.
Bright sunlight pierced his eyelids like scalding hot needles. His eyes felt gritty, his mouth dry, his head, well there was no way to describe what his head felt like. Groaning slightly he frowned and tried to move. Blissfully a shadow passed across his face blocking some of the sunlight out. Wait something wasn't quite right about that, but for the life of him Tony couldn't get his brain to figure out why. Resigned to the fact that he was coming around Tony peeled his eyelids apart and looked up from the very hard patch of floor he had finally collapsed on, into a pair of staring eyes. No wait, Tony rubbed his blurry eyes and looked again. The pair of eyes was actually one eye, he was just seeing double. Great this should be fun!
"Good Morning sleeping beauty, decided to join the rest of us in the world today" Fury's voice dripped with sarcasm.
"Um not…" Tony stopped to clear his throat "…not by choice" He struggled to a sitting position, somehow it felt less threatening than having Fury standing over him while he was prone on his back.
"What time is it" He managed to croak while trying desperately to engage his brain in any kind of activity.
"Time you were up and about." Fury seemed to be, well furious. His lips were pressed together in a thin line and Tony had rarely seen him this angry. The self-preservation part of his brain had the good sense to point out to him that he had really annoyed Fury in the past and he still hadn't seen him like this so something must be wrong. Gathering what cognitive functions he had managed to regain Tony hoisted himself to a standing position, swaying dangerously he decided to clutch the bar he was standing next to. Damn his mouth felt like sandpaper. Tony looked wistfully at the remainder of a bottle of scotch but for the moment decided against it.
"So," Fury started, "Care to tell me why I've got the whole god-damn council coming down on my head hmm?"
Tony tried to think of a smart assed comment but honestly he had no idea what Fury was even talking about. His brow furrowed in concentration.
"Dunno why, are they?' he shrugged out, realising that his voice was more slurred than he liked it to be especially when talking to Director Fury. J.A.R.V.I.S. usually kept people well at bay until he came round. Tony made a mental note to work on the security systems so Fury wouldn't be able to have free access to his tower!
"Well now let me think about that for a moment" Tony had the sense to keep quiet while Fury went on. "You know it could be the Hulk sized problem we had in Cambodia, but no we managed to handle that, just about. No I think it's the call for assistance the Avengers Initiative put out to Iron Man that Tony God-Damn-I'm-Too-Good-For-This Stark was too busy to even acknowledge!" Fury was on the verge of shouting by this point. Tony fought back a bout of alcohol induced queasiness while he desperately tried to recall the last time any of the Avengers had contacted him. All he could recall was at Pepper's f….No! Tony slammed the door shut on the memory, not here, not in front of Fury!
He focused his red rimmed eyes on to the one hard eye glaring back at him and tried to shrug somewhat nonchalantly.
"Sorry to disappoint but I haven't had time check to check my voice mail today" Damn he really needed a drink now.
"Stark we've been trying to get hold of you for three days! Three god-damn days! Now the council is pulling everyone in for a stupid-assed training exercise to see if they actually have any amount of control you all!" Fury ran his hand over his head in frustration. "Look just get changed you're coming with me."
Tony just nodded in mute agreement and started to focus every ounce of his concentration on putting one foot in front of the other to make it across the room. Like hell was he going to fall in front of Fury! Once he made it to the privacy of his bedroom he flopped on his bed.
"J.A.R.V.I.S. how long was I out for?"
"Two and half days sir" came the A.I.'s response "But you were….unresponsive to anything I said for almost three days before." Wow thought Tony, a three day bender, no wonder I feel like crap. As comfortable as his bed was at that particular moment in time he didn't really fancy being retrieved from it by an angry Fury so he forced himself back on to two feet. He couldn't even begin to imagine the 'fun' the next few days were going to be. Sighing to himself he started to get dressed.
By the time the transport arrived at the Helicarrier Tony had sworn to himself that the very next invention he would work on would be a form of transport with absolutely no vibration!
The central command point hadn't changed at all since the last time Tony was there. Not that it really surprised him it was just, with everything that had happened in the last year and a half, everything that had turned his life upside down it felt strange that this place, any place should be so untouched. It was confirmation that life really does just carry on. Tony resisted the urge to sigh and took another large gulp from his sixth cup of coffee. The expensive designer sunglasses he was wearing may have made him look cool and nonchalant but in reality were doing precious little against the sun that was beaming in from the windows. Deep down Tony felt that Fury liked him to have to squint at him, sort of a very tongue in cheek power play. Nursing the cardboard cup in his hand he cast a glance round the table. The Hawk was sat there sprawled in his chair, legs outstretched, fingers interlaced across his stomach, head back with a look that said he very much didn't care to be there.
That makes two of us buddy he thought. Natasha was sat with her elbows on the table hands clasped with her chin resting on them; brows furrowed looking almost as though she was listening intently but her eyes said she was deep in thought about something else. Cap was sat next to her, bolt upright, he actually was listening intently. Resisting the urge to shake his head the thought popped into his mind that if anyone actually saw what Steve was like it wouldn't be Rhodey who got the nickname of a red white and blue attack dog, although red white and blue puppy dog was probably more apt for Cap. Thor was nowhere to be seen, not surprising really. Tony wasn't sure that Asgard had managed to get a completely reliable transportation system working yet. The only other person at the table was Dr Banner. Tony glanced to his immediate right at the man sitting slightly slumped in his chair, listening to Fury but looking too tired to really care.
Jeez the man really did look tired! For all the lack of sleep Tony was having Bruce looked like he had it worse. The man looked almost haggard. Tony wouldn't have believed that it was possible for him to look much worse than the last time they met. The fact that he had lost weight was glaringly obvious, a lot of weight actually. His face had a greyish tinge about it. He had a half healed cut on his face and was holding himself like his was nursing an injury to his right hand side. This was what Tony found the most odd, even after the battle against the Chitari Bruce had sustained no injuries from the other guy's activities – Tony wondered how exactly S.H.I.E.L.D. had managed to contain the 'Hulk incident'. So lost in his train of thought he was that the first time he was aware anyone had spoken to him was when the deep brown eyes of the subject he was currently studying turned to look at him.
"Are you even listening to what I'm saying Mr Stark?" Brought back to earth with a jolt Tony cast a quick glance around the table which told him that everyone else was looking at him and that Fury clearly expected an answer. Damn he hated being caught on the hop by Fury.
"Listening, just taking time to process" Tony smiled sarcastically at him.
"Well I'm sorry it's so hard for you to adjust to the idea of being here with all of us." Tony hated that glare. Seriously what right did a man with one eye have to be able to glare down all and look so threatening?
"Um not all, just some." Tony quipped. Steve rolled his eyes. He actually thought Tony might have changed, apparently not. Fury carried on talking.
"So for the time being, until otherwise decided by the council you're all to remain on-board this ship." Fury continued "Don't make me regret bring you together in the first place. Dismissed." Fury turned and stalked off. Agent Hill following briskly behind him. Tony hadn't even noticed her stood there.
"Great house arrest without the house." Tony grumbled.
"It's not that bad Stark" Steve reprimanded lightly "In the army..."
"Yeah well I'm not in the army and my home is pretty well damn awesome, so I'd kinda like to be there." Irritation bubbled in his chest.
"Steve's right it could be worse." Bruce piped up wearily "And it's probably only for a short time, I can't honestly see Fury wanting to keep us cooped up any longer than necessary."
"Back in your box Banner" Tony retorted quietly, he couldn't bring himself to put any kind of malice in it. He really did feel bad for the guy. Bruce smiled at him.
"Just saying." Bruce stood up and a quick flash of pain shadowed his face. Again Tony wondered what might have caused it but didn't want to ask in front of the others. After all he didn't like people prying into his personal life and he was pretty sure that Bruce was even less keen than himself.
"Yeah, well I dibs top bunk"
"Tony, we have our own rooms remember." Steve shook his head trying to remember how they'd ever really got along. After New York Steve had spent some time with Tony and Pepper helping to rebuild the Avengers Tower. He'd almost got used to Tony, almost even started to like him. He looked across table at the man who he was sure was glaring at him behind the dark glasses. He looked like a pale comparison of the grinning man he remembered joking with Pepper. He remembered how hard Tony had taken Pepper's funeral and decided to cut the guy a little slack. The last year hadn't been a kind one for Tony Stark.
"Yeah well mine will barely be able to contain this much awesome, so it's the room equivalent of a top bunk." Tony eyed Steve through his glasses. Steve just shrugged, stood up and walked out of the room. Tony had apparently regressed back to an eight year old, perfect.
"Well my stuff is already in my room so I'm going to head to the lab. Feel free to join me if you want." Tony watched Bruce's retreating back. Clint and Natasha had apparently left at some point during the conversation. He sat mulling over his coffee. How long had it been exactly since he'd had a conversation, well with anyone other than J.A.R.V.I.S or Dummy. As much as he resented having to be here a tiny part of him seemed to be almost happy at the idea of actual human company. Tony scowled. He did like that, not one bit.