Of course I didn't want to lie to my boyfriend ,my family and my friends but I have to do what I have to do to keep my title as national champion. And whether they choose to see it or not I was getting fatter and I needed to stay on a strict diet but apparently to them I was "starving" myself.

"Babe talk to me" Austin said with a strained voice, sitting up on the bed as I turned facing the other way.

"Kaylie" he said louder.

"I don't want to talk to you Austin" I said as the silent sobs slowly disappeared as I closed my eyes.

At The Gym

"Baby" I said taking off my helmet as we arrived at the rock as she quickly was getting off the bike.

"What" she asked irritated and angered.

"Kaylie come on, you still mad?" I asked pulling her close to me but her body was stiff.

She rolled her eyes looking away.

"What did you expect me to think you were kneeling over the toilet…?

She cut me off "I expected you to think your girlfriend was sick! Not "oh are you bulimic this time, I thought you learned your lesson from anorexia"! she said imitating my voice with anger.

"Babe come on I never said that" I said reaching for her as she walked away.

"I'll see you after practice" she said walking away not turning around.

*Inside the Rock

"You're noticing it too aren't you" she said as we watched her do her half spin rotate across the mats.

"Nope, don't know what you're talking about" I commented not paying full attention to her.

"You know she told me right, about the whole throwing up thing… and I don't believe her either" She said back and I could feel her staring at me.

I didn't comment squeezing my mouth shut and not facing her.

"Kaylie has a disease Austin and if we don't do something about it she's going to…

I cut her off "Lauren STOP! She's fine okay, she just had the flu" I said not knowing if I was trying to convince her or myself.

"If she was sick last night do you think she would be able to do that"? she said pointing to Kaylie tumbling across floor finally landing her ½ twist with a mijation.

Lauren walked away as I watched in horror of what I knew was happening right in front of my eyes these last couple of days , and I didn't do anything about it.

I knew it was possible and maybe even true, but she was the love of my life and I didn't want to admit or confront it.

As she got on the bike I watched her, her frame was so small, and skinny.

I stopped myself in the tracks of my thinking "she was always like this" I told myself.

She wrapped her arms around me putting on the helmet and I drove off, this time in a different direction.

"Where are we going?" she asked as I turned into a park.

I grabbed her hand and she stopped.

"Trust me, you trust me right?" I asked as a rhetorical question but she answered.

"Lately… no" she said crossing her arms.

I gave her the look that melts her heart away and she grabbed my hand as I walked her to a clear space in the grass.

I lied down and she followed.

"What's the point of this?" she asked being stubborn as always.

"I thought we should talk" I said looking at her as she took a glance at me then looked away.

"Kaylie I love you and if you tell me your fine then I believe , but just know you can tell me anything" I pleaded with her as I wrapped my arm around her back and it reached down to her thigh almost.

"I know" she said kissing me.

I rubbed her thigh and felt and odd grainy pack and pulled it out.

Kaylie gasped and I sat up looking at it.

"Austin it's not what you think" she whispered.

I looked at it and it read 7 pounds I reached in her other pocket and there was another one that read 5 pounds.

I looked at her in shock and stood up angrily throwing them into the river we were looking out to.

"I just needed a couple pounds so Sasha wouldn't be on my ass over gaining weight" she whispered not looking me in the face.

"12 pounds is not a couple Kaylie!" I yelled.

"Austin just forget it, like you never saw it" she said putting her hands on my shaking arms.

"I can't Kaylie, not this time; I can't forget the fact that you're anorexic" I said realizing that was the first time I admitted out loud to my girlfriend's anorexia.