Disclaimer: Not mine.
Warnings: Male/male sex, swearing.

Jacob

I left our house with tears burning in my eyes, my chest heaving, but I refused to let them fall.

She had said no to my proposal. Bella… she didn't want to marry me.

We had been together for four years now. After she had made the decision—that she wanted to grow old with me instead of stay young forever with Edward—we had been together. Happy. Edward had even been around, claiming that being in her life and being friends with her was better than living without her.

And now I had proposed, thinking it was the next step, and she had turned me down. It didn't have to be tomorrow... I just wanted the promise to be out there. The ring to be on her finger. I wanted to show her how much I truly cared for her. That I couldn't offer her forever, but that I'd offer her the rest of my life.

I made it downstairs and started to walk over to Seth's so I could try to blow off some of the aggression before I got there. As I walked, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

At first, I wasn't going to even look at it. If it was Bella, and she needed me, I knew I'd go running right back to her. And I didn't want to do that right now.

I walked another block before my concern for her won over. What if she really was breaking down? If I was with Seth, she'd have no one. And as mad as I was and as hurt as I felt... I loved her. I couldn't deny that.

I made myself look at my phone and then rolled my eyes. Not Bella. Of course not. She was probably just fine. Maybe a little worried about me, but she knew how she felt. If she was at all upset, she'd probably just write about it. If she wasn't confiding her deepest thoughts to me, she was writing about it in her journal.

With the freedom to actually have thoughts of her own, she was thriving as an independent person. She didn't have to mold herself into what life as a vampire would entail.

We had no rules... just respect for one another. I never told her what to do or how to think because I'm not a dick. We were best friends. Two warm-blooded humans with hearts that beat for one another. Equals.

The text had been from Edward. I'm back at the Cullen house for the night. Just hunted. You and Bella busy?

Me and Bella. I smirked bitterly and shook my head as I texted him back.

We're not. She is.I thought for a minute and figured why not? If I went and hung out with Edward, then Bella could spend time with Alice if she needed someone.

After Bella had chosen me, Edward had respected that. He was happy that I could give her a life that he couldn't. We had bonded over that… became friends because of it. He had been gone for a long time recently… months. I can be over in ten if I can catch a cab.

I hailed a taxi as Edward texted back. Guy's night it is.

I was right. About ten minutes later I pulled up to the mansion. It was usually just Carlisle and Esme there, now that Edward and the rest of them had decided to go off on their own for a while. I couldn't imagine what it was like being the only two people in such a giant place.

When I rang the doorbell, I was surprised when the door was answered by a woman in a maid's outfit; she was clearly human.

She ran her eyes over me and smiled. "Mr. Black, I presume? Mr. Cullen is expecting you. He's in the lounge."

Mr. Black. I guess that was me. Sort of. Still, the mister thing threw me off.

"Just Jacob is fine. No mister. Could you direct me to the lounge, please? I'm not in the mood to search through eighty seven different rooms before I find the right lounge."

She chuckled. "I understand. Right this way, sir-Jacob."

I followed her through a few hallways before we came to the right room.

"This is it. Anything else I can do for you?"

I shook my head, still puzzled about why she was there, and she nodded before walking away.

Entering the lounge, I found Edward at the liquor cart that sat near the fireplace. The room was more elegant than I had expected and it smelled like cigars, which seemed strangely appropriate.

"Hey, Jacob. How's it going?" Edward greeted me with two small, double-shot sized glasses in his hand.

I raised an eyebrow, but couldn't help my interest as I eyed the clear liquid. "Hey…. Whatcha got there?"

He shrugged. "Figured since it was just us tonight, we could hang out like normal men do.

"Normal men, huh? Since when do you fall into the category of 'normal'? Can bloodsuckers even drink liquor?"

He chuckled. "Sort of. You just have to know the right way to do it."

I nodded, not really caring what the right way was. I could use a drink right now. "Right on."

I stepped closer to him to take the drink from him. I knew Bella would be pissed if she knew I was drinking; I tended to get angry when I was drunk.

But Bella... well, she had hurt me, first. And maybe that was immature of me, but the pain in my chest didn't really help the situation.

"So what's up with the human maid?" I asked monotonously, taking a sip of the drink.

Damn, that was strong. I downed it quickly. Whatever he had made, it wasn't something you were supposed to sip and enjoy. It was something you were supposed to take fast so you could let the burn linger in your chest for a bit. Something to warm you up.

Edward shrugged. "She makes it possible for me to drink. And she likes the whole 'I-sparkle-in-the-sunlight' thing." He downed his glass and poured another, filling mine as well.

I downed it again, the burning starting to chip away at the immense pressure that had been settled there since the minute Bella had said she didn't want to marry me.

"All right, you've piqued my curiosity. Explain." I walked over to a small couch and plopped down, fiddling with my empty glass. This was a new attitude for Edward.

Edward grabbed two bottles and joined me. "I realized that I could drink if I mixed my alcohol with human blood."

I stared at him as he uncapped the lid of one to pour me another drink.

"Not feeding from them directly, of course," he added quickly. "But if they're willing to prick their finger and put a few drops into a bottle for me, I can drink it."

"Gross," I mumbled, but he just chuckled.

"It helps."

"Helps what? Your desire for humans instead of animals?" I took another drink, knowing that the bottle he had poured from hadn't been opened before—no human blood in it.

"No. My... desire for other things."

"Like…?"

He uncapped his bottle and drank straight from it. "Things that I need. I know that you might find this a bit uncomfortable, so I apologize in advance, but… after Bella left me, she had awoken something in me. Something I had never thought I needed or was there. And after feeling such things for her… I needed to find it somewhere else."

I chuckled bitterly. "So you're saying Bella made you realize that you were actually a man who craved sex along with your bloodlust?"

He didn't look embarrassed or ashamed. "Precisely."

"So your maid… she does that for you?"

He nodded. "I have to be careful. She's human. And I can only have her that way once before I have to find a new one."

"Why's that?"

"More than once and they'll end up dying trying to bear my child."

I felt sick, then. "What?"

He took a gulp out of the bottle again. "It's what happens. Long story. But I don't know from personal experience… just from investigating into it. I found other of my kind who knew how it worked and they warned me about it."

I shook my head and took two long chugs from my bottle, trying to digest what he was saying. "That's disgusting."

He nodded. "I know. But it's how it works and I can't change it."

We were silent for a moment before he tilted his head inquiringly.

"Did something happen between you and Bella?"

I shook my head. "Reading my mind again?"

"No. The alcohol sort of turns it off. I can sense things if I try, but I'm not trying right now. The silence… it's nice. I hadn't been able to hear it since…"

Since Bella.

"Look, I don't wanna talk about Bella right now. Let's just... be men. Hang out. Like you said."

The alcohol was starting to cauterize the pain in my heart. It was still there, but... I could focus on the burning.

Edward shrugged back and sat on the couch next to me. "Mmkay. Men."

It was safe to say that we were sufficiently fucked out of our minds an hour later. Most of the contents of both bottles were gone, now, and I had just finished the best tasting cigar I had ever had. Edward was finishing telling me a story about what he had done with the most recent 'maid' on a beach somewhere.

"You ever have sex with a girl on a beach? It's really... not as good as you'd think. The sand's everywhere and then she wants to go in the water and ride you in the waves, but there are shells on the ocean floor so you have to hold her 'cause if she steps on them she starts bleeding… finally, we end up in the surf and it all works out, except for bracing yourself against the waves that are going to hit your bare ass every few seconds. Then I wake up the next morning with sand in places I didn't even know I had."

I actually managed to laugh at the image. "I just had the worst visual, dude. What...the fuck...why are you telling me this?" I chuckled drunkenly, drumming my fingers against the almost-empty bottle. My spinning mind pictured his too-white vampire ass getting pummeled by a wave.

Edward shook his head. "Women in this century are very open. They'll have sex anyyywhere."

I felt a pang in my chest as he talked about some girl he didn't even know so... openly. I hadn't ever talked about my sex life with Bella the way he was talking to me. It seemed...private. Personal. Sacred. But I didn't think Edward thought of sex that way. At least… not anymore.

"I guess that's good, though, right? For them to be open minded," I tried.

"They're open, all right." He shook his head and rolled his eyes and then looked at me, like he was waiting for me to reciprocate with some kind of sex story.

I smirked, thinking of some of my favorite times we had had sex. I wouldn't give too much away out of respect for Bella...even if she had ripped my heart out earlier.

"Well, I've never done it on a beach, but an elevator... definitely happened."

Edward chuckled. "Yeah, I've done the elevator."

"All right, then. You've done the beach, an elevator... what else? Or-or okay. No. Not what else. What was the best one? The weirdest place?" I struggled to form coherent words. I could barely see straight. I was surprised he was making sense of what I was saying.

He blinked. "I don't have a b-best one. Not with...them…" With Bella, my mind whispered, filling in the words he wasn't saying. It was obvious he missed the shit out of her, now that he was drunk. I was too numb from the drinks to let it bother me right now, though.

"But the weirdest..." he trailed off, thinking. "The w-weirdest... probably is... is probably..." he stumbled on his words, but I couldn't blame him. We were really, really messed up. And I missed Bella. And thinking about her hurt. Too much. The liquor had stopped burning the pain away and now it was coming back. Full force.

She probably wouldn't want me back. Not after the shit I pulled tonight. Making her feel bad about saying no to me. We foughtabout it.

...How could she... still love me?

"The one woman had this... room..." Edward finally said, answering me. "It's for trying stuff on before her shoots and what not. She was a model. It has mirrors all around so you can see the... angles. It's... where she'd... you know. Practice."

I met his reddened eyes. "Practice what?"

"Modeling. Holding herself. With the mirrors. You could see yourself at every...angle. We had sex in there the one day. She pulled me into her and I pressed her against the one mirror and we just... did it. You could see...everything. Her chest heaving and our breath fogging up the mirror and I could see her and me moving into her...everything."

I bit my lip and swallowed as the image of it overwhelmed me. I could see the model, but I could also see Edward. In the mirrors.

I let out a breath as I felt myself getting aroused. It had to be because of all the talk about sex. Not just because of his body... but the model's, too. And then thinking about times with Bella...

Bella.

I felt tears prick at my eyes. "Ed... I don't... know if I can talk anymore."

I met his eyes and saw the sorrow and regret in them. "Me neither."

Shaking my head, I tried to understand his problem instead of focusing on mine. "You didn't want to have sex with them, though. Any of those times. Did you?"

Fear shot through his eyes before he shook his head, too. "No. But I kept... thinking of…" He shook his head. "I'm sorry. I was thinking of Bella. I'm kind of a mess like that."

I nodded as my own emotions overwhelmed me. "Edward, I hurt Bella tonight. I proposed and she said not right now and we argued and I made her feel like shit for saying no to me. What kind of asshole does that to the girl he loves? She was probably right. I'd be a bad husband and that's why she doesn't want to get married. What the fuck's wrong with me?"

Edward moved closer and before I could process what was happening, he was hugging me as I let the tears escape from my eyes.

"It's okay, Jake. We all do stupid things sometimes. I let her get away…but it was to you. I wouldn't have done that if I didn't trust that you'd be good to her."

I let him hug me longer because it felt good to have some form of comfort. At this point, I wasn't picky. It just felt right to know that even if I had fucked things over with Bella, at least Edward was still here for me. Still a friend.

"I don't deserve her love," I whispered. "She should've chosen you."

He rubbed his hand up and down my back as I sniffed, trying to get the tears under control. "No. I'd end up killing her. She's safe with you."

"Thanks, man," I said, pulling back a little, but still not wanting him to drop his hands. Even if he was cold, it was nice to have contact with someone.

"I'm...really glad to know I can count on you. If I need support, and everything."

Edward nodded. "You can. You've been there for me and for Bella so many times… I owe you for that."

His eyes met mine as I stared at the complete honesty behind his dark lashes. I was so used to the topaz color that seeing the hints of red because of the blood he had ingested shocked me. The way they swirled into the topaz was hypnotizing. Kind of… beautiful.

And then before I could process, he leaned in and put his mouth to mine.

My first instinct would have been to jerk away, but the alcohol made me slow and muddled my thoughts. He pulled back for a brief second, giving me a chance to stop him, but I couldn't react. My body was frozen by the taste of his kiss.

So his lips came in again, freezing cold against mine, tasting of liquor and something else, but they were surprisingly soft. And this time, I felt my own lips responding.

My brain wasn't thinking, but my body was reacting to him. My lips slipped against his, taking in little pecks of him before he moved deeper, more frantically.

Our kissing got rougher as his tongue darted between my lips to caress mine. He licked at the roof of my mouth before our tongues battled for dominance. I felt his teeth scrape against my lips as his hands moved down my back to my hips.

Bella. I thought in my haze.

He tasted nothing like her, but somehow, this felt okay. Like she wouldn't... care. This wasn't cheating because this was Edward. It was another guy. And this wasn't something that was coming out of my love for him or something. I loved Bella, even if she hurt me. I knew that.

But my body... I don't know if it was the alcohol or some weird bloodsucker magic or what, but my body didn't mind Edward's hands in the slightest.

He kept his lips connected to mine, but moved his hands to the front of my pants, rubbing over my hardening erection.

My hands moved of their own accord to unbutton my jeans to slide it out, making it a little more comfortable now that it wasn't straining against anything.

Edward mocked my movements and unbuttoned his own khakis, letting himself free as well. As he pulled me closer, I felt his dick brush against mine, but didn't pull away at the cool sensation.

His hands moved to grip my ass as he gyrated his hips into me, moving his rock hardness against me and letting a moan escape into my mouth.

My heart was pounding as his one hand brushed over my hip before moving down to tentatively stroke me, his cold hands encasing the heat of my pulsating dick.

A moan escaped my lips before I could stop it and I felt him smile against my mouth.

"Jacob, you do deserve to be loved. By Bella. But right now... you just need some form of love. Otherwise... this pain's going to break you. Trust me, I know."

I nodded, pressing myself into his hand. "I miss her. Ed... what are we doing? Is she gonna hate me for this?"

He shook his head as he started to stroke me lightly, sending pleasing shivers through my spine. "No, she won't hate you because we won't even remember this in the morning. We're way too drunk, right?"

I held in a moan, but breathed out in a rush as he turned me around. I felt his length pressing into back as I thought of all the alcohol I had consumed and why my head was spinning and how it was that this man—this hundred and some year old bloodsucker—was touching me and I was letting it happen. This had to be a dream.

He grinded against my back as he reached a hand around to grab me, stroking frantically. I felt so close to him as he rubbed his erection at the bottom of my spine, slowly easing it between my cheeks and moving back and forth, my ass caressing his freezing, hard-as-rock dick. Each time he moved, the tip of him pushed against my sack, sending cold thrills through every part of me. I felt myself growing for him.

And as part of my brain told me this wasn't right, another told me that I was helping him. He needed to feel like someone cared about him. Wasn't disgusted by who he was. Wanted him.

When the friction from my ass cheeks encasing his dick had made him start to feel slightly warmer, I turned back around to face him. My hand reached to grab him and I started stroking with the same rhythm he was, in the same way I would touch myself, if I needed to. "Drunk..." was all I could mumble as he slipped out of my hand and knelt onto the floor. He was on his knees as he bent down to take me in his mouth and I closed my eyes.

I was surrounded by a cool, soothing wetness and the only person's whose face came to mind was Bella's.

I must have murmured her name, because I felt him stop and pull his mouth away from me. He used the wetness that was left to stroke me with his hand and I sunk to the floor with him.

"You can pretend it's her, if you want," he whispered. "I don't mind."

He was rubbing in such the right way that I couldn't make my mind form the right kind of thought. I groaned as I moved my hips with his strokes, keeping my eyes squeezed shut as I thought of Bella.

Edward moaned next to me and it made me open my eyes and really look at him. At the desperate man in front of me who really had gotten the rough end of way too many deals. Bella left him for me. He was fucking other women and pretending they were her….

And now he was doing me a favor and trying to get me off when I was hurt and wasted and I was using him, too. I was thinking of Bella even though it was Edward's hands on me. Edward's lips that had kissed mine. It was Edward who had put his mouth around me.

It was all Edward right now and I couldn't let him down like everyone else did.

I bit my lip and reached to grab him again, all the while pulling his face closer to mine and leaning in to kiss him.

We stroked each other together as I darted my tongue in and out of his mouth. This time, I concentrated on making sure it was his name I was groaning.

I tried to hold back as long as I could, but I could feel it nearing. "Edward," I moaned, bucking my hips into his hand as I stroked him faster. "I'm gonna..."

My breath was coming in pants as he nodded. "I know."

I yanked myself away from him and hurriedly put my mouth around him, sucking him like a popsicle, licking the juices that were leaking from him.

"Jake, I'm—"

I looked up at him and nodded. He cupped my balls, then, and I felt him twitching in my mouth as he came.

The liquid hitting my throat was sweet and I found myself wanting to swallow it, but then I had a better idea.

I stood up and kissed him, letting his venom enter his mouth, and then I put my forehead to his. "Don't swallow it. Suck me."

His eyes lidded, he did as he was told, his cool mouth encasing my still-hard warmth. After I was satisfied by the tingling, sweet venom he had soaked my dick with, I spoke again.

"Good, Ed. Now stand up and turn around." I could feel the wolf alpha coming out of me, wanting to be in control of him, now. To tell him what to do.

He did as he was told and I wrapped my arms around his cold body, bringing my chest to his back as I swirled my venom-wet dick around his hole.

"You gonna be able to take this, Edward?"

I felt the moan in his chest as he murmured, "Put it in, Jake."

I didn't need to be told twice. "Bend over."

He bent and spread himself for me and I swirled his hole one more time, soaking it with his own venom, before sliding into him.

He was tight and cold, but he encased me like I had never felt before.

I fucked his ass. Hard. No control. No caring. I was the wolf and I needed to cum.

Edward groaned my name under me as I pushed into him, harder and harder, until finally spurting my load into him, my dick suddenly a lot warmer as my own cum mixed with the coolness of his venom.

I let out a strangled moan before collapsing onto the ground, the whole world spinning.

I started to drift a bit, my vision in a haze. I felt him pulling my pants back to how they were supposed to be... and there was a peck on my lips...

Darkness.

I woke up hours later feeling like there was a bowling ball hitting me repeatedly behind the eyes.

"Shit..." I groaned before opening them. What the fuck?

I looked around me, but didn't recognize the elegant wallpaper or even the feel of the pillow under my head.

I sat up and the world spun. Nausea took over and I looked around frantically for something... anything...yes! Plastic bag in a wastebasket. Good enough.

I let whatever was in my stomach come up and then felt a little better. My head was still heavy and I had a feeling I was more hungover than I ever had been in my life. And that was saying something.

"Morning," someone said from the doorway and I looked over to the sound.

"Edward?"

He smirked. "I'd offer you breakfast, but I don't think you'd take me up on it."

I narrowed my brow. "How... did I get here?"

I racked my brain and frowned. All I could remember was the proposal... hurting Bella... being hurt, myself... and then the maid letting me into Edward's lounge. But why had I come here?

"I texted you. We hung out and got incredibly wasted talking about girl problems, and then passed out. I'm not surprised you don't remember much. I barely remember, myself."

I sighed as I stood, my entire body protesting. I reached into my pocket to check my phone and saw that I had a few text messages from Seth, wondering where I was, saying that Bella had said I was heading over. Then I had a missed call and text from Bella.

Jacob? Please. I know you're upset with me and I know you're hurt, but I love you. Seth said you didn't show up... Please tell me you're safe. That's all I need to know.

She had sent the text at four thirty in the morning. I squeezed my eyes shut before I sent a quick text back.

I'm with Edward. Safe. Heading to Seth's later.

"You need anything?" Edward asked.

I shook my head. "Thanks for putting me up last night. I should head out. You're a good friend, Ed."

He walked me to the front door so I wouldn't get lost and nodded, pulling me into a brotherly hug before I left. "Anytime."

I walked away from Edward's with no memory of last night, but with one thing certain in my mind.

Biting my lip until I tasted blood, I pulled my phone out again and texted Bella one last time before my phone died.

And I love you, too.