mind over matter
summary: the past can be changed at the expense of the future, but sometimes we don't need to make things right, just to start over again. (au, rimahiko)
A/N: Guys, I do NOT own Shugo Chara! IMO the quality of my work has gone down but here's another one to hopefully enjoy.
The first time that she goes through the endless cycle is innocent enough. She doesn't know about time traveling, she doesn't know how to use her powers, and she's just another schoolgirl.
Theories about time travel and speculation first come up during homeroom in high school. Yaya is perched on a seat, about to fall off, chewing absentmindedly on the end of a pencil, and thinking to herself about something, anything.
Rima is sitting at her desk, bored to death, and texting under the table, frowning after scrolling through a block of messages, and rapidly responding, her fingers flying.
"Hey, Rima-chi. You think that it's possible to go back in time?"
Her eyes flash, and she turns to her ginger-haired friend, annoyed.
"Yaya, you know that it isn't possible. That stuff is bad for you, anyways."
The wooden desk is slightly lopsided, and there is a bear sticker that seems permanently bonded to the metal of the legs (she tried on her first day, and it didn't even budge). It's quite a mundane place, this classroom. There is an old, tired chalkboard, used and reused for years. The windows have been opened, since it is spring and the weather outside is too nice to ignore.
"No, but I thought of something. What if, say, you wanted to go back in time to pick up a banana because someone would slip and die, but of course they'd die anyways somehow, so you did it all for nothing?"
She freezes a little, and thinks about it. There are plenty of things that she wants to change, like her first meeting with a certain somebody, and her relationship with her parents.
But it's all useless speculation, and she turns back to her phone quickly, tired of the concept already.
"At least you'd be able to spend more time with them, so it wouldn't be for nothing."
Yaya nods in response, her head bobbing because she's about to fall asleep since there's not really much to do. Exams are over, summer is about to start, and they're only really kept there so the seniors can practice for their graduation, which the whole school is expected to be at.
The charms on her cellphone jingle as it vibrates, and she picks it up, flipping up the top to see who sent it. When she notices the familiar name, she relaxes, and a bit of a warm feeling enters her body. Smiling to herself, she wonders how to respond.
NEW MESSAGE RECEIVED!
purplehead: but what if shes not free this weekend
She ignores the gnawing feeling in her heart that it isn't right. He shouldn't be asking her for romantic advice. She's a bit jealous, she kind of wants to be the girl that he's asking about.
But she knows it isn't going to happen. If she was his type, they'd have started dating years ago, when they first became friends - Amu teases that they're connected at the hip.
It isn't until the next week, on that fateful day, when she walks into the classroom, unaware that she's just locked her destiny into place.
Yaya isn't her usual self; red rims her eyes, and they are overflowing with tears. She sits, hunched over into a handkerchief. Nobody else seems to notice - or maybe they are keeping a polite distance.
She raises her head as she sees Rima approach (everyone notices the golden curls), and gives a weak, watery smile that somehow strikes more fear into the blonde's soul than if she hadn't smiled at all.
That smile is a little lopsided, and the haunted look in her eyes is just another thing that she can never forget.
"She's dead," Yaya whispers, sounding hysterical. "She's dead. Isn't it ironic?"
She learns that the name of the person who is dead is Shiori Katsuragi, and she was her mentor at the dance studio. Shiori was pushed off a bridge by an unknown assailant, and when the police found her body, her skull was cracked. It was her flailing and attempt to save herself that killed her - if she had just let herself fall into the water instead of trying to fall sideways, she wouldn't have hit her head.
And she feels pity for Yaya, that she has to go this while still in high school.
She attends the funeral, of course, and brings flowers. Waxy white roses, fresh with dew from the florist, and a black lace dress with a parasol, since it's been raining for the past few days.
As she stands after it's all over, Yaya asks her in a shaky voice, "Rima-chi, you think it's possible to go back in time?"
She's taken aback, and remembers the conversation a week ago.
Her attempt to console her grieving friend falls on deaf ears. "You couldn't have saved her."
"I know, but I just wanted...it just isn't fair, the way some people die. They haven't done anything, and they just...I wish..."
The unstable look in her eyes scares her so much that she resolves to be on her guard for as long as possible because she doesn't know what she'll do.
It's a few weeks later, and she receives a mysterious phone call to come over to the Yuiki house.
As she stands outside, she can see Yaya waving from the bedroom window, looking perfectly fine and happy.
She pauses. She knows that Yaya is anything but, and doesn't know if she should go in.
But of course she does. She goes in, and smiles at her, and pretends that things are all right, that she's not worried.
"Rima-chi, I think I've got it figured out."
She passes her a little, shining crystal that is hot to the touch, but slowly fades to cold, then hot again.
"This makes it possible to time travel."
Gasping, she almost drops it, but catches it before she can. She drops onto the bed, still shocked after what she's just heard.
"Come on, Rima-chi, you can use this to do whatever you want. I mean, I made one for you and one for me...since you were the only one who listened. You can use this to end up with Fujisaki-kun, if you want."
It's tempting, but she's about to refuse, but Yaya stops her.
"Please, I want to see you happy. Use it just once, then we can go back to normal life. Here, hold on to it, and think about where you want to go. If you think hard enough, you can break the barrier between memories and reality. This is just a harness."
She reluctantly agrees, and tentatively thinks. In order to be with him, she's got to back to the first meeting...which is six years ago.
The fading reality around her convinces her that it is not a trick, and soon she's falling, falling down to somewhere else, through the rabbit hole.
She lands in a garden. Pausing, she realizes that this is the Royal Garden from her memories.
Unfortunately the high-school uniform that she's got on is a little conspicuous.
She probes her brain for where any extras of the Seiyo uniform will be, and locates a wardrobe accentuated with hearts. Yanking out a generic v-neck sweater, tie, and skirt, she hurriedly rushes behind the pink piece of furniture for privacy to change.
Flinging the skirt and jacket that both give her away into the carefully cultivated bushes encircling the place, she comes out, only to find Nagihiko exactly where she remembers him, exactly how she remembers him.
He lifts an eyebrow at her.
"Who are you?"
It's such an amazing thing, to be able to re-do the meeting with him and potentially change things that she's winded, and for a second is speechless.
He offers her a charming smile, and tells her, "Well, it was nice meeting you. I hope I see you around soon!"
With that, he walks off, and with him goes her chance at a relationship.
Gritting her teeth, she holds the crystal and re-imagines a different place in their shared timeline, and drops down on the failed love confession from him to Amu back in their middle school days.
But she's in the Seiyo uniform again, and she bemoans her lack of preparation as she scurries into the locker room, since she knows he'll be confessing to her behind the gym, and steals the smallest sailor fuku that she can find in a rush, and hurriedly pulls it on, all the while wondering what to do and say that can change things.
She hides behind a tree, and watches Amu come up to the meeting spot, and she sees him prepared to make his declaration.
"Amu-chan, I think I'm in love with you...will you go out with me?"
The bubblegum girl smiles a sweet smile, and flatly rejects him with a "no" that even Rima finds terribly cruel. It sends him reeling, and she walks off.
It's just as well, since she's there.
She comes out from behind the tree, and he sees her, his eyes widening.
"Were you there the entire time, Rima-chan?"
She nods shyly.
"Please leave me alone. I'm not in any mood for you right now."
It shatters her hopes and dreams, and she wonders if a future for them is even possible.
"Fine," she says, turning around so he can't see her disappointment. "Then I might as well just leave if you don't care."
Giving him a pained smile, she holds the crystal, and imagines the point where they stopped, since the future has not yet been created.
But as she disppears, she's forgotten she's in plain sight of him, and his astonished face while she vanishes reminds her that she was supposed to be careful-
and then she's back by Yaya's side, the ginger watching eagerly.
"So, Rima-chi, how did it go?"
She collapses on a chair.
"He...saw...me. So that means he knows about time travel now. I changed things."
There is a polite knock downstairs that surprises them both.
They both rush down the flight of stairs, and open the door.
Standing in front of them is Nagihiko, who clears his throat.
"I heard you two talking about time travel, and I remembered something back in middle school. I wanted to apologize for that, Rima-chan, and..."
She's almost overjoyed enough to hug him and erase the event from ever happening, but she remembers, even if he didn't mean it, he did say it.
She crosses her arms.
"How do I know that you care?"
And in a moment she's swept up into his embrace, and he's gently holding her close to him, and she can hear his beating heart, his hand on his, and she secretly wishes the moment will last forever.
He tips her head up to him, and smiles down at her.
"Because from the moment I met you, I knew you were special."
Then he's kissing her, and the world goes white.
"You don't need to change the past. The future is ours to create."
Yaya is standing there speechless, but at the same time snapping pictures of them, and she knows that thinsg will be alright now.