Hello. I'm JoJouer – I am the France, and love RPG Games. Pathfinder is the best, but others I like are dnd, maid, winter eternal, bubblegum crisis, GURPS, Call Of Cthulhu, Shadowbun, Harry Potter RPG, Testament, Vampire, Alignments, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Genlab. They are so fun. I Love Tabletop Twats RPG podcast, me and Lolilisten to me all the time. Funny funny! Alan Rickman is the funniest! LOL. Wait I forget DDC, especially foreign beggars, it's the best game.
This is first time writing fanfic in English. Sorry if I get it wrong.
Love N Twats by XJojouer2002X
It was a bright morning when I wake myself up in my castle at the heart of Twatsonia, I am princess Jojo and I am beautiful 22 years old blonde hair. It was still early in the morning so I went back to sleep.
I wake myself up later and felt the most awake so I go downstairs and have bread for breakfast. This is because Twatsonia is a medieval kingdom so there is no toaster. At the other table side is my friend Loliana sitting and drinking café. She is very pretty with long red dress and gloves, lots of cleavage. (Loli Les Lolos n'est pas! ^_-).
After eating we were bored so we chose to leave the castle and travel into the woods to find something to kill. Usually there are the goblins and the kobolds, and I am sorcerous level 2, Loliana is level 1 Rogue, but she has dragonblood which is why her elf ears are green.
We are in the woods killing the kobolds because they are bad and we open up the treasure chest when they are dead. In the chest is a 13 goldpeices and a cool dagger. It's sharp and red, but I see the logo on the bottom and I recognise it. It is seal of the Lambslice family. Lambslices are a barbarian family live out in Croiden wastes. But most famous is the Nick Lambslicewho formed big adventuring group with Harrison the Maid and James The Pumpkin. They are very famous adventurers in Twatsonia. They are all level 100! So cool.
We know the dagger must belong to Nikk Lambslice so we travel to Coiden wastes to give it back to him. It takes us four months to walk there and on way we have many adventures and kill many bad things so by the time we reach we are now level 3 each. So cool.
The Croiden wastes are big and scary and we know it will be very dangerous and difficult to find the great mansion of Twats where the three heroes live. When we get there we knock on the door three times and speak the secret password which is Chicken McBosh! (c'est vraiment le mot de passe, non Loli?!) The door opens and Harrison is in his Maid outfit. Mrs Harrison tells us to come in and we do. It is very nice in the mansion. There is lots of gold, and heads of bad people they have killed on the walls. They are big heroes. Harrison makes me a cup of tea but rolls bad and has stress explosion! So funny, He is crying and running around.
I spilled the tea, I spilled the tea, I am fucking up!
It is such a loud noise that out of the room next door comes the Elf James The pumpkin in his glittery green armor.
what is big noise? Mrs Harrison, what is tea on floor for and why is there two women in the room.
They have come from Twatsonia castle, one is a princess and sorcerous and the other is a Rogue, they are level 3!
I see. Says James, his ears still pointy That is good. We must make them welcome. Just they should not interrupt when we have sex.
No of course. Says Mrs Harrison, as he picks up the tea on the floor We never interrupt the sex.
Good. Give them a room And James leaves because he
The next morning we wake up. We are sharing a bed, but we do not sleep together because we are just friends. Loliana is bored so she wants to kill bad things but we are awake and we haven't seen Nikk yet. We still have the dagger and he must get it because it is his.
So we go to Nikks romm and he lets us in, we are shocked because he is naked! (Loli! ^_^) He asks us to come in and we give him back the dagger. He is very greatful and so to say thankyou we HAVE SAX! It is good sex but not in the bottom. After sex over he says.
Wow that was good sex, even better than with Harrison and James.
We are French girls so we are very good. I say.
Oh of course. I think I am in love with you.
But you love Harrison and James?
No! Not anymore, they are dead to me now, you two are the best.
You shouldn't be dead to them, you can still be friends! Loli says. She has put her clothes on again so not naked. I am still naked though.
Yes! I can still be friends! You are right, we are friends and adventuring people with great podcast, we cannot be dead to each other we will be friends.
You are right! You are very nice Nikk, not like Alan Rickman I am dressed now but I am wearing black because it is better to wear black when you are in Love.
Alan Rickman! We went to future to kill Evil Harrison when he took over the world.
We met him in forest coming here. He raped me. And it hurt.
NO! Nikk grabs his big axe and charges out room.
NIKK! What is the matter… James jumps down the corridor with long legs
Where is Mrs Harrison. We are going off to kill bad guys!
Hoorah! Says James and gets the Maid.
Why are we killing bad guys? Mrs Harrison says, she is carrying Mop that is also samurai sword.
I am now in Love with Jojo and Loliana. We have just has la levrette! And now we will kill Alan Rickman
Yes! says Mrs Harrison so we all go out to the Ravenlofthell in order to kill Alan Rickman.
After the long journey we have a cup of tea and walk up the big mountain to the top of the mountain where is the tower of Alan Rickman. There the door has a big lock but Mrs Harrison knows that to open in you need to win the Song Fight. So we all go to the Chamber of Challenges and recognise which are the real rpgs and which are not and then Harrison and James make songs, Nikk does not because his songs are shit. I won the song fight and the door opened. Inside there is a big staircase that goes up and also down. We go down but Alan Rickman is not there. So we go up. But he is not there as well.
When we have killed the dragon we go outside and there is Alan Rickman waiting for us.
HA HA HA! You have come to my tower and killed my dragon but now I will kill you!
Then he shoots us all with his gun and we're dead.
The end
What do you think. Its good? Review please.