"There's a bomb Blaine."

"I know Kurt. Keep talking."

"I don't want to go Blaine."

"Go where Kurt?"

"To Heaven, if I get in anyway."

"Well you got in NYADA, that's basically Heaven."

"Not the time Blaine."

"Kurt, you know I love you."

"I know Blaine."

"You know that for sure, Kurt?"

"You couldn't love me more if you tried."

"I'll miss you Kurt."

"How could you not?"

"This can't be goodbye Kurt!"

"Blaine. I. Love. You. But you have to go ahead without me."

"I don't want to Kurt."

"Go Blaine, go on."

"I love you."

"I lovNO-"

-Call dropped.

Blaine awoke drenched with sweat. He tried to catch his breath, but failed miserably. He held onto the headboard for support as he glanced at the clock. 3:46am. It was way to early to bother Kurt again, yet Blaine couldn't bring himself to go back to sleep, he wasn't sleeping again for a while. He walked to his bathroom to get a towel; he wiped off the sweat and tears from his face. His family were away for the weekend, leaving him completely alone. He checked the time again, '3:52am'. He wished he could have just one night sleep that wasn't filled with the sweet asphyxiation he was used too. He slid down the bathroom sink until his head rested on the cold porcelain. "Porcelain" He chuckled to himself, he loved that nickname, he'd use it himself if it wasn't so offensive. Everything everywhere reminds him of Porce-Kurt, it reminds him of Kurt. The towel he just used, Blaine used that to dry Kurt's tears after the whole Karofsky incident. Blaine's bathrobe, it used to be Kurt's, hence the leopard print tie, but Blaine liked it so much that he just…stole it.

Blaine found himself taking sleeping pills again for the ninth time this week. A dangerous overdose, but if it made Blaine sleep, he was willing to try it. Blaine woke up, still under the sink, at 7:30am. He had stirred around five, but luckily he didn't completely wake up. He groaned, he knew it was the first day back today. No Rachel, no Finn, no Puck, no Mercedes, no Kurt, great, no Kurt. He considered calling Kurt, but he realised Kurt would already be warming up his vocal and stretching, and Blaine certainly did not want to interrupt that. He got up, his back was in so much pain, and he needed urgent painkillers, another drug within the space of hours. He dressed himself, three-quarter length cut off trousers, favourite sweater vest and a small Warblers pin he keeps on the inside of any shirt collar he is wearing at the time. Blaine had considered returning to the Warblers ever since Kurt got into NYADA, there wasn't anything left for him at McKinley now, sure the people were supportive, but Dalton always had this homely feel to it, it had a certain way over him.

Blaine was happy that Glee club took up all of first period today; he couldn't be bothered with all the heckling from people who really should act their age. Holiday chit-chat was boring to Blaine, he almost fell asleep during Mike and Tina's summer get away, he slept though Artie's summer camp for kids with…something or other, and ignored all question directed to the velvet blue bags under his eyes. Rory caught up with him after Glee.

"Hey Blaine, nice to see you again!" Rory chirped.

"God, I thought you finally went home." Blaine grumbled, quickening his pace.

"Ah, well, no, but, oh, I'll go." Rory said, quickly evacuating the situation.

"Harsh." Artie sneered as he rolled past. Blaine just grunted, he could not be bothered for 'Glees all homemade self-improvement through song' scheme. The club were meeting again at lunch for a first new club sing through. Blaine didn't show.

Blaine had no texts from Kurt, worrying, usually by now he would have around twenty or so. Blaine snuck into the choir room at lunch, while the other Glee members were in the auditorium. He called Kurt, he got increasingly worried as the rings went by, but eventually a chirpy voice greeted him on the other end of the line.

"Blaine!" Kurt giggled, "Hi there stranger!"

"Kurt, you're alive! Awesome!" Blaine sighed with relief.

"Of course I'm alive! H…has something happened?" Kurt replied, he sounded worried.

"No…no, just a nightmare, that's all, how's New York?" Blaine stumbled on his words.

"New York is AMAZING!" Kurt sang, "I'm all moved in to the dorms, which by the way are fabulous! And the scenery is just…"

Blaine listened to Kurt babble on, laughing when he though he was meant to, 'oohing' and 'aahing' when he saw fit, the only problem was is that Kurt wasn't actually there. Kurt wasn't there to talk to Blaine about his nightmares, nor was he there to pick Blaine's daily bowtie or sock colour. Kurt was gone, to this new life, new friends, probably a new love, nay, definitely a new love. Blaine knew that it wouldn't be hard for Kurt to find a new boyfriend in musical theatre. Blaine knew he was disposable to Kurt, he was holding him back. Maybe it was better to cut ties with Kurt now, before it would get too bad. Yes, let the cutting ties processes commence, maybe that will stop the nightmares.

Blaine listened to Kurt drabble on a bit more about New York, then promptly hung up without even saying goodbye. Kurt called back a few seconds later, no answer. Kurt was puzzled, had he annoyed Blaine? Was there anything special today? Ah. Yes. Blaine's first day back at McKinley. Kurt decided it was better to give some room to Blaine, just so he could call him back later, Blaine needed space to breath when he was angry, that was all. Kurt promptly texted Blaine, "I love you, have a good day at school hun!" Then went back to rehearsing his first song at NYADA, 'Somewhere Only We Know.'