Title: Interesting Dynamics
Author: ZombieJazz
Fandom: Chicago PD
Disclaimer: I don't own them. Chicago PD and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The character of Ethan has been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.
Summary: Hank and Erin are forced to re-explore their complicated 'family' dynamic when an unexpected 'family emergency' causes Voight to have to deal with demons related to his wife's death, his failings in parenting, and the challenges his work has created for his family and for his ability to be the father he wants to see himself as.
Erin glanced at the time on her phone and let out a slow sigh. As much as she wanted to be there – she also didn't. She understood what being there represented and she was prepared for the disappointment it was going to create.
She again looked around at the bustling crowds. People coming. People going. Waiting for family. Waiting for friends. Waiting for trains. Waiting for cabs. Everyone going about their own business. Some likely minding other's business and business they shouldn't be minding at all. She found her training kicking in and that she was scanning all those around her. Watching people's movements and actions. But she shook herself out of it – that wasn't the object of the day. Not at that moment.
She shifted her eyes up to the arrival board again. Of course the train had to be running late. Only fourteen minutes late – but enough to throw off her schedule for the day. And, even though it had now pulled into the station almost 11 minutes ago – she still hadn't spotted who she was looking for.
She was starting to think that Hank had given her false information about where to wait. Maybe it was like the airport and the kid had some attendant with him? Take him off the train last? Or maybe they'd even taken him to some sort of kiddie holding area – and she was supposed to pick him up there?
But just as she was starting to glance around to see if she could find an Amtrak info booth or staff member to ask where the hell the kid might be, she spotted him out of the corner of her eye. She found herself stopping suddenly and letting her eyes shift to take him in. He was bigger than the last time she'd seen him but he still looked so small – so much of a little boy. But that was likely to be expected. He was built like his father and likely wasn't going to sprout to be taller than him. But even though he had that bulldog look to him – in appearance, he was undisputedly his mother – almost eerily so. That surfer blonde hair just peaking out from under his beanie – that he was wearing even though it was very near summer. Those deep green eyes that he was only one of two people that she'd ever seen with eyes quite that color. The high cheekbones and the gentle smile.
He smiled as he saw her – involuntarily. But she saw him wince as he did. The reason behind that wasn't hidden. His face looked like it'd been used as a punching bag. It was bruised purple and blue. His one eyes was barely open to even see that haunting green. His jaw was scuffed – almost with gravel rash – and his lip was cracked open and seeping that she almost wondered if she should swing him around to Chicago Med to have it stitched up before they went anywhere else.
She gave him a sad smile from where they stood – still strides apart from each other.
"Ethan …" she allowed and gave her head a little shake.
He looked to the ground and scuffed his foot, casting her a shy glance.
Erin let out a little sigh and closed the gap between them. She put her one finger under his chin and made him look up at her. He looked even worse from that angle. He was puffy from the battering. It had to hurt but he remained stoic. That's what he did. It was what he'd been taught.
"What did you do?" she said to him.
Of course Hank had left this part out. He always left something out. But she supposed she didn't need to the play-by-play to start to piece together what had likely happened. She'd known that something had happened – and it'd been bad – just based on the fact he was there and it sounded like he was going to be there for a while.
But Ethan just shrugged at her. He apparently wasn't going to be the one to give her any sort of clarification. At least not yet. But that was OK. She'd figure it out herself – or she'd get it out of the two of them bit by bit of the course of this visit. She didn't doubt that.
"Does it hurt?" she didn't really need to ask. She knew he'd deny it – but she knew he must be in pain.
"Not much," he allowed quietly.
She gave him a sad smile at that. "Good," she said. "Then you've got no excuse to be acting like you're too grown up to give me a hug."
He gave her another shy smile but then obliged her. His arms wrapping around her and she did the same. She still had about a foot on him height-wise but with where his head was gently resting, where his arms wrapped around her torso – he'd grown since the last time she saw him. Too much. Far too much considering she could remember the day he'd come home from the hospital. That she could still see that little baby she'd gotten to hold in her arms and that pudgy little toddler running around the house and stealing the show at her graduation. But his touch and breathing against her felt sad now – and holding him in that moment, she felt a little sad too.
"I missed you," he said at a near whisper. She almost wasn't sure he'd meant to say it aloud – or if she'd been meant to hear it.
"I missed you too, Eth," she allowed.
"You stopped coming," he said even more faintly and more than a little defeated.
She let out another quiet sigh and found herself gripping at the material of that hat more. She wanted to rip it off him. To really be allowed to look at him. To run her hand through his tuffy curls. To try to make sure he was really OK. This was likely the first touch he was getting on months and months and months – besides apparently having the living shit beaten out of him.
"Well, your dad and I talked about it and we decided—". It was a lie she was about to tell him. There was no 'we' decided. She'd been told – and she listened. Something that maybe she did too much with Hank. But she owed him that much. Didn't she? She didn't have to complete the lie, though – and that was a good thing, because Ethan would've known she was lying to him. But she thought he would've understood too.
He interrupted her with, "Dad's not here."
She let out another small sigh and looked down at him. He'd pulled away slightly and looked up at her. His eyes even sadder.
"It's a work day, Eth," she tried.
"Every day's a work day," he said glumly but there was a criticalness to it, and he pulled away from her more, straightening.
"He's waiting for you," she added instead and bent to pick up his overloaded duffle bag from where he'd dropped it on the floor. It was as big as him and likely weighed as much as him. Considering the way he looked, it was a miracle that he'd even been able to carry it.
"I've got it," he said and moved to grab it too.
She just gave him a smile and nudged his shoulder to jostle him away, as she hauled the thing up over her own shoulder. It weighed a fucking ton.
"Enjoy it," she said. "Usually little brothers are supposed to be big sis's pack horse."
He gave her a patronizing look – that even if he didn't get to spend much time around Hank these days, he'd undoubtedly learned from him.
"This everything?" she asked, and juggled the bag's straps a bit, trying to find a comfortable position for hauling this thing to the car.
"I guess," Ethan said.
She gave him a disapproving look. "You got some boxes shipped as cargo or something that we gotta go pick up?"
"No," he said mopely. "Dad said what I could fit in the bag."
She gave him a sad look. "OK. Well, I'm sure the school will ship home anything you left."
"I guess," he allowed again.
"I think you did a good job at packing this," she allowed. "It feels like you've got a body in here."
"Yeah," he said again and started to trudge after her, as they dodged others and worked at making their way to the vehicle she'd brought over.
She gave him a teasing look. "Yeah, you've got a body in here?"
He gave her an annoyed look. "No."
"That's good," she provided. "I was starting to think we were going to have to put you in the cage when we got down to district."
"Dad's likely going to put me in there anyways," Ethan said flatly.
She cast him a look. But he just gazed at her with those sad eyes.
"Is he real mad?" he asked softly.
She let out a small sigh and reached her hand out to touch his shoulder and guide him along.
"C'mon," she said. "Let's just get you to him."
She didn't think she needed to anything more. She thought they both knew the answer to his question.