Anyone But Him
a Girl Meets World story
by: EmilyHelene
Chapter 1: Loaded Questions
The sun shone through Riley's window, basking the brightly coloured room in an angelic light. Wisps of dust danced lazily through the air, dancing in the beams. She sat cross-legged in their place, between the pillows on the window seat, but instead of having her best friend seated beside her, Maya was alone.
The brunette was off on yet another date with Lucas, her boyfriend since the beginning of eighth grade, and as always, Maya sat perched in the window seat waiting for her to return so the two could eat copious amounts of strawberry ice cream and analyze the absolute shit out of boys. It had become a tradition of sorts almost like window seat itself.
Her blond hair cascaded down her back in gentle waves, lightened by the surprisingly beautiful April weather New York City had been experiencing as of late. She couldn't help but enjoy the warmth on her back. Even when Riley wasn't there, her room still felt like home: warm, welcoming, and familiar. The only problem was, this wasn't her home; Riley and her family would say otherwise, but being the outsider, Maya knew the truth. It meant something completely different to be a Riley Matthews than to be a Maya Hart and it was anything but an easy pill to swallow.
Riley was sunshine; everyone who met her was taken in by her innocence and saw her awkwardness as quirky and charming. Not to discount Riley in the slightest, of course. Maya loved her more than any other human being on the planet. Her only regret was that she didn't have the same effect on people. If people thought of her at all, it was usually only in passing as the troublemaker.
Sometimes it just got to be too much, especially when it came to boys. She didn't pretend to understand them because she didn't like to chase after things she knew she would never catch. Or at least, she didn't like to admit she did. That would be admitting weakness and that was definitely not something that Maya Hart would ever do, no matter how much Riley goaded her about it.
She didn't get it. Every lame television show or cheesy movie she had ever seen (which added up to be about six dozen more than she cared to admit) had taught her that confidence was key. That even when it gets hard, you have to put yourself out there and wait for the right guy. Unfortunately, in the movies, you know right away who the right partner is. There's no music or strategic cutting to pick Mr. Right out of the bunch, there's just gut instinct and faith, neither or which were all that reliable.
Granted, she was only sixteen. She had years before she had to be stressing over this stuff, but that didn't stop her from analyzing it to death behind closed doors. With Riley, she always tried to stay one step ahead in the boy department. She was the one who told Riley how to flirt, what words to use, the one who convinced her that she should just put herself out there. Whenever she tried to take her own advice, however, it usually ended up blowing up in her face. Rather embarrassingly. Take the Josh Matthews issue, for instance. She saw him, played it cool, and made sure he knew where her head was at. She distinctly remembered him running away from her, quite literally, but perhaps she had been thinking a little far ahead when she had referred to him as her husband. Eh, can't blame a girl for trying. But that was all over now, she had officially given up on Joshua Matthews. Well, as far as anyone else was concerned.
"Hello?" a voice called, presumably from the front door. Maya groaned, squishing her face against the pillow on her lap. She longed to melt into the bench and cease to exist. Speaking of chasing the impossible…"Anyone home, kiddies?" Not him. Jesus, not him. Anyone but him. She would rather have heard her mother's voice bouncing off the walls of the Matthews' apartment, reminding her of the billion and five things she had forgotten to do before she left the house that morning.
"Riley?" he called, his voice carrying through the house, as familiar to Maya as an overplayed pop song. "Cory? Topanga? Auggie?"
Maya did her best to remain absolutely silent, terrified that the slightest noise would alert Riley's uncle and her moment of solitude would be over almost as swiftly as it had begun. She curled her knees into her chest and let out a deep sigh that she instantly regretted.
"Riley, are you here?" Josh's voice rang out again, closer this time. "Riley what-" but he stopped mid-sentence when he got to his niece's room and found a fiery blond perched on the window seat. "Maya?" he asked, clearly confused.
She turned away from him. "Riley knows I'm here. I'm waiting for her to get back from her date with Lucas," she said. "I didn't break in or anything."
Josh ran a hand through his hair and gave a little half smile that made Maya's stomach rise and fall unexpectedly. Of all the people to run into at this precise moment, it just had to be Josh. He motioned toward the empty space beside her. "May I?"
She gave a half-shrug that he must have taken as permission because he slid in next to her soundlessly. She peered at him from out of the corner of her eye as they sat there in silence. He looked the same as always: devilishly handsome grin that she liked to think was just for her, slightly mussed brown hair, and eyes the colour of the sea (equal parts blue, green, and wild). He had grown slightly taller (if that was even possible) and even sitting down, he still towered over her. She tore her eyes away from him, convinced he would catch her staring if she didn't stop.
"What's on your mind, then, Maya?" His question took her completely by surprise. She was sure it had something to do with the fact that it was the one question she didn't want to answer, but she pushed all thoughts of him from her mind, replacing them with her earlier struggle.
"What's on my mind? Shouldn't I be asking you what you're doing here?" she fired back, not willing to give up without a fight.
He shook his head and let out a small chuckle. "I guess that's a fair question," he admitted. "I needed a bit of a break from school, thought I'd pop by and surprise everyone."
"Well aren't you just a model sibling/uncle?" she said with a smirk.
"I do what I can," he quipped, playing his role in their verbal battle perfectly. She smiled at him, but despite her best efforts, it didn't quite reach her eyes. Much to her disappointment, Josh seemed to notice immediately. "What's up with you? You sure you're okay?"
"Well," Maya began, "if I say yes, you'll immediately pry and ask me about it, but you don't want me to go into any kind of detail about it because, let's face it, details are boring and the last thing you want to hear about is some teenage girl's pathetic boy issues. But if I say no, you'll leave me alone and we can go back to our ongoing battle of who is the real sass master."
"So which one is it?" he asked, leaning into her so his left shoulder brushed her right.
"Why don't you guess?" she said.
"Where's the fun in that?" he shot back.
"Are you not willing to look for the fun in it, Josh?"
"Are you going to answer everything I say with another question, Maya?" he shook his head and laughed, but she was far from finished. She hadn't had this much fun in a conversation in weeks (don't tell Riley).
"I don't know," she replied. Unable to resist the urge, she quickly tacked a question onto the end of her original statement. "Am I?"
"I'll tell you what I think," he said, clearing his throat and looking her dead in the eyes. "I think that you, Maya Hart, need to vent to something other than Riley's empty bedroom."
"Anything else?" she asked.
"No, that just about covers it. Oh, on second thought," he added, "you're also wrong on two counts. One, I am not at all the prying type and two, details, especially when they have to do with someone I care about, make all the difference."
"When did you get so smart?" she asked, continuing on the trend of the questions. Part of her was afraid that if she stopped, all of the pent up frustration that she'd been hiding for the past two years would fall from her mouth and into the waiting ears of the one person with whom she had no desire to discuss it.
"I've always been this smart, Hart. Someone had to get the brains in our family and God knows they didn't go to Cory or Eric." She had to laugh at that, if for no other reason than the truth in his statement was undeniable.
"Doesn't mean you have any idea how to fix what's wrong," she whispered.
He put a hand on her leg, a comforting gesture if it had come from anyone but him. Instead of comforting her, however, it set every single one of nerves alight with nervousness and made her heart race so quickly that he could probably hear the blood pumping beneath her skin.
For the first time since she'd known him, his voice grew serious. "Try me."
Maybe it was the fact that she'd spent most of the day moping internally, or maybe it was the fact that the one person who was under absolutely no obligation to help her was sitting next to her in the place that felt more like home than her own apartment. Either way, that was how she found herself slowly peeling away the layers of bravado that had kept her safe for all those years and letting herself feel, visibly, for the first time in a while.
"I'm going to ask you something, and you're going to have to forget for a second that you're Riley's uncle and just answer the question, okay?"
Josh looked a little skeptical, but nodded to signify that he would do just that. Maya took a deep breath. This was really happening.
She did her best to keep her voice even, removing the self-pity and slight jealousy that had filled her internal monologue earlier that afternoon. "What is it about Riley that makes the boys fall all over themselves?" It wasn't exactly a secret that Riley Matthews had caught the eye of the majority of the Junior class, except maybe to Riley herself who only had eyes for a certain Southern gentleman.
Josh sat back, resting his hands along the windowsill behind them. His arm brushed against hers gently which did absolutely nothing to calm the nervous electricity racing through her. "Hmm," he mumbled, gently chewing on his lower lip. This boy was killing her.
"I mean, aside from the obvious stuff like she's beautiful, and a total sweetheart, and all that. I'm her best friend; I know that."
"What is the guy you're into blinded by the Riley Matthews Express?" he asked, masking the seriousness of the question with a lighthearted laugh.
"Well, no." Unless you're into your niece which is wrong on more levels than there are countries on this earth. "I just wonder what they all notice in her so that I-" she stopped herself before she gave away too much.
"So that you can adapt to be more like her?" he finished, looking at her."Why would you want to be Riley Matthews when you can be Maya Hart?" he asked.
"Guys don't like Maya Hart," she said, her voice growing quiet and her resolve unravelling like an errant thread on one of her cheap tops. She refused to cry in front of him, refused.
He glanced down at his lap and ran a hand through his already thoroughly mussed up hair. "I wouldn't say that, Maya."
"I'm not the girl boys fall for. I'm the type that helps girls like Riley get up the nerve to make a move when it comes to boys like Lucas. I'm not supposed to get my own happily ever after, I'm just a catalyst for someone else's happiness. I know that sounds really depressing and it's kind of a defeatist attitude, but honestly I've learned not to expect too much from life because it only leaves you disappointed and I have had no shortage of those in my life so far, I definitely don't need any more." She was ranting, she could feel it, but she couldn't stop herself and for the first time she didn't care that she was talking to Josh (of all people) about her inferiority complex and Daddy issues that would undoubtedly send him running. All that she cared about was destroying her dungeon of sadness before it could destroy her.
They sat there in silence, her words thickening the air that hung between them. She feared the worst because that was what she had come to expect.
"I shouldn't have said anything, sorry," she started, doing her best to bandage the situation and backpedal as fast as she possibly could out of the conversation. Maybe he would forget about the whole thing and they could pretend it had never happened. "You're a boy, right?"
"I like to think so," he laughed, giving her one of his mega watt smiles.
"What am I doing wrong?" As much as it pained her to ask, she was too deep to turn around now. Might as well get what she came here for.
"Honestly, Maya, from what I can tell, you aren't doing anything wrong. You just haven't found the right guy yet. Even though it sucks and it's probably not what you want to hear, you just have to be patient."
"I thought I was supposed to be myself," she said, tossing the pillow she had been fiddling with onto Riley's colourful bed linens.
"Well yeah, but maybe a more patient version of yourself." He grinned at her. "Don't sweat it, Maya. Is there someone specific?" he asked.
"I thought you never pried, there Matthews..." she said, calling him out on his not-so-subtle quest for details.
The smirk that danced across his face was a guilty one and his eyes had their usual mischievous glint. "Well..."
"Well, yes but no."
"What does that mean?" he asked.
"It means that it isn't going to happen, genius. It's a dead end, a no-go zone." She laughed, but she wasn't sure if it was for her benefit or Josh's. "Whenever I talk to him, I always say the wrong thing, you know? So he'll never see me the way I want him to."
Josh thought about that for a moment. "Okay," he started, turning toward her and crossing his legs. "This might be a really stupid idea, but honestly, if there's any chance it might help, it might be worth a shot."
Maya swung her legs around and mirrored his position. "How stupid are we talking here?"
"Just keep talking to me, pretend I'm this mystery guy and strike up a conversation." If he suspected she still harboured any feelings for him, he was hiding it incredibly well. She felt her face turn a rather attractive shade of scarlet and it took all of her voluntary muscle control to keep her mouth hanging open in shock.
On the inside she was freaking out, but on the outside, she barely batted an eye. "So how's NYU going for you?"
Playing along, Josh answered, "Oh you know, school's school."
"Don't I know it," Maya muttered under her breath.
"It's like they accept you straight out of high school and everything you think you know about learning is completely wrong. Sometimes I wonder what I'm even doing there half the time."
"Yeah," Maya said, shocked by how upfront he was about it. "I know exactly what you mean. Like, if it was my call, I'd be off travelling the world, not looking at some stupid world map in history."
"Right?" Josh agreed. He smiled at her, a real smile, one that spread across his whole face. One that she happily returned, almost in spite of herself. Don't get sucked back in, Maya. This is all just pretend. "I think what scares me the most is not knowing where any of it's going. Just because I'm in university doesn't mean I'm guaranteed a job after graduation of anything. I wish I could just fast-forward to the future, just to check and make sure everything works out alright. I don't need to know the details, I just want to know whether I end up okay or not."
Maya pondered this for a moment. The same sorts of thoughts had passed through her mind on a regular basis. As much as she hated the day in, day out routine of high school, at least it was familiar. It was a routine she had become accustomed to and one day it wouldn't exist anymore. She had never been afraid of the future before, not really, but now she was rethinking the whole principle of growing up. "I think that's where you've just got to do the best you can and have a little faith. If you love what you're doing, the rest will just fall into place."
"You really think so?" he asked, looking down at his hands again. He was fiddling with them and Maya chalked it up to a nervous habit. She had never seen him as anything but the picture of absolute confidence. It was almost disconcerting to see him like this and even though he was the one who was supposed to be helping her, she felt obligated to do something.
She reach out for him and closed her palm around his fidgeting hands and met his eyes with her own. It suddenly dawned on her that maybe she wasn't the only one wrestling with inner demons. "I know you're going places, Josh. It's one of very few things I know for certain. You're amazing, always have been, always will be." It didn't feel so much like pretend anymore.
He looked back at her and she felt it through her entire body. The air was charged somehow, Maya could feel it and though she couldn't quite place what exactly it was, something felt different. She wasn't exactly sure who leaned in first, but before she could really realize what was happening, his hands were cupping her cheeks and she was pressing her lips against his waiting smile. His lips were soft and when he tucked her hair behind her ear, it sent shivers down her spine.
She didn't think. She didn't have time. It was over just like that. She'd been waiting years for that to happen, and now that it had, she wasn't quite sure what to do about it. Both teenagers pulled back, looking completely disoriented.
"Uh-" she started, thoroughly confused by what had just happened. "What was that?"
"Shit, Maya." He ran a hand through his hair and let out a deep breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding in. Where the hell did that come from, he thought."I should probably go..." he trailed off, standing up and straightening his clothes. Maya sat on the window seat, still unable to process what exactly they had just done.
He was halfway to the door when he turned back around to look at her. If this was the movies, he'd come charging over to her and scoop her up in his arms and tell her that he'd kissed her because she was all he wanted. But this wasn't the movies and she still wasn't Riley which meant that nothing would work out the way that little girls and hopeless romantics alike dreamed it would.
"Whoever this guy is, he's not going to be able to help falling in love with you. If he doesn't, he's an idiot." And with that, he left leaving Maya with even more doubt than before.
"Thanks, Josh" she said to the empty room. The specs of dust floating through the beams of light had it so easy. They didn't have to worry about anything other than the current moment and they were free to drift wherever they wanted.
To Josh, it was probably nothing more than a mistake that wouldn't ever be brought up again. To Maya, it was something else entirely. What exactly, she was still unsure, but she would figure out.
No more dungeon of sadness.
When Riley returned from her date precisely twenty-one minutes later, Maya was ready and waiting in her spot at the window as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. She played the role of best friend incredibly well, nodding and smiling in all the right places in Riley's story of her romantic afternoon out with Ranger Rick and reassuring Riley that she had looked fantastic (even though Lucas had undoubtedly told her over and over) because that was what best friends did.
"Thanks for being here, Maya." Riley whispered, pulling her friend in for a hug. "You always know exactly what to say."
Maya smiled, but for the second time that day it didn't quite reach her eyes. Unlike Josh, however, Riley didn't notice.
A/N: I am not exactly sure where I want this to go, but I don't think I'm done with it just yet. Hopefully you enjoyed what you read so far! Have a lovely day and if you feel like it, drop me a review telling me what you thought, what you want to see in the future, or any advice/constructive criticism you have for the story.
Happy Writing,
EmilyHelene