I hate Lizzie. I'm sorry, but it's true. I've created a forum and a community about it as well. Call me obsessed, but I honestly can't help it. So here is my first Lizzie-rage story. It might be a tad over exaggerated, but that's life for you. I KNOW THERE ARE MORE LIZZIE-HATERS OUT THERE DON'T BE SHY

Disclaimer: I don't own KND and I most definitely do not own Lizzie! XD

"Heeeeey Nigeyyy," someone calls. Oh no. Not that voice, please let it not be her, please please please. Someone tapps me on the shoulder. Slowly, filled with dread, I turn around. Yup. It's her.

"Eheheheheheh. Hi Lizzie," I paste a fake grin onto my face.

Lizzie broke up with me last month. About two days later, she came scampering back. How irritating. Since then, she's totally upped it. Begging me to go on dates with her every morning, afternoon, and night. Making me 'romantic dinners' of either a stalk of celery, a piece of bread with tomato sauce on it, or a lone piece of stinky fish. She's calling me nonstop, and I have a feeling she's been stalking me. Heck, I know she's stalking me! I found a microphone taped onto my textbook! Why haven't I broken up with her yet? Well, every time I try, she finds some way to guilt-trip me into taking it back! It's aggravating!

"Hiiiii. Can we likeee, go out for lunch today?" she yowls in my ear.

"Uhhhhhh… not today?" I try.

"PLEASSSSSE?" she whines.

"Ugh," I groan, smacking my forehead. "Fine."

"YAAAAY! See ya!"

"Not if I can help it," I mutter. Five minutes later I'm sitting in the office. "Uh, can I call my mom?"

"Why?" asks the office secretary, eyeing me suspiciously.

"I feel sick." And I don't want to go out for lunch with my devil of a girlfriend.

"Yeah, whatever." I dial home.

"Hello?" answers my mom.

"Uh, hi, mommy. I don't feel so good. I wanna go home," I say, trying to put on a good show.

"Oh, poor Nigel. Mommy is coming right over to pick you up."

Half an hour later, my mom arrives at the front gates of our school. And just in the nick of time, because as we're pulling out, I can dimly hear the sound of the lunch bell.

I thought I was safe. Yeah right, in your dreams. My girlfriend is crazy. I arrive home and slowly walk over to the dining table. I sniffle a bit, still keeping up the show. I sit, my mom setting a warm bowl of chicken noodle soup in front of me. I'm halfway through it when the doorbell rings.

"Hm, that's weird. We shouldn't have any deliveries today," my mom says. "I'll get it."

A moment later the door opens.

"Why hello, Lizzie!" LIZZIE?! I sprint into the kitchen and hide in one of the cupboards.

"Hi, Mrs. Uno! I came to talk to Nigel."

"Sure thing. I think he's got the flu bug, maybe. Nasty this time of year. He's in the dining room."

"Thanks Mrs. Uno!"

I hold my breath as I listen to Lizzie stropping into the dining room.

"Nigel Uno, come right out this instant!" she hisses. I wince. Crud, I should've just gone on that cruddy date! "I'm counting to three!" she yells.

"What was that, dear?" my mom asks from upstairs.

"We were just playing hide n' seek," replies Lizzie. I can tell she's smiling angelically. Well, not anymore. "ONE!" I squeeze my eyes shut. "TWOOO!" she screeches. I clench my teeth. "THREEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Ahahahaha, hiya Lizzie," I mumble, climbing out of the cupboard. Darn. I'm scared of my own girlfriend. How pathetic…

"You, my friend, are in BIG trouble!" she snarls, grabbing my collar. She shakes me. "YOU NEVER PROMISE ANYTHING! I don't understand!" she yells, spit flying in my face. "I'm nice, I'm patient, I'm beautiful, I'm the best girlfriend anyone could ever have! But you, oh noooo, you don't care! You don't-"

"Wait, what did you say?" I cut in suddenly. I heard perfectly what she said. I just want to confirm it. I can already feel the rage bubbling up inside of me.

"I said, I'm the best girlfriend anyone could ever have! AS IF YOU WERE EVEN LISTENING!"

"Ohhh kay. You know what, if you think that I'm so terrible and you're so great, you know what?" I wrench her chubby hands off my collar. "Go find a better boyfriend who will tolerate you better than I have."

"Oh my god. Are you breaking up with me?!" Suddenly her facial expression turns sad and worried. I steel myself. Nobody's puppy dog face is going to divert this.

"Yes. Goodbye, Lizzie." The same words she said to me last when she broke up with me last month. I can see the tears welling up in her eyes. She stomps out the door and slams it. I smirk.

"Good riddance."

YAS ONE POINT FOR NIGEL UNO! XD XDXDDDD

-ragenomnom