SECRET SHADOWS
Vickie awoke to the sounds of someone knocking on her door. She knew it had to be David, which meant she was late for breakfast. Whenever she wasn't at the table when he got there, he would come looking for her. Today was no different, at least not for him. For Vickie it was the beginning of a nightmare, a nightmare without the man she loved. The phone call came last night; the official word was that the plane Burke Devlin was on went down over the jungle. All though they still hadn't found the plane, there was little hope of survivors.
The knocking had stopped; David must have thought she was out walking in the garden and gone there looking for her. She must have cried herself to sleep, for the next time she woke up it was late afternoon. By the time she showered and got dressed it was time for dinner.
Everyone was already in the dining room. Roger was telling Elizabeth about something that happened at he family business, Carolyn was looking bored and David was playing with his food. When she entered the room, everyone greeted her and Elizabeth asked if she felt any better. Vickie said yes and the meal continued with Roger finishing his story. David asked Vickie if she would like to play a card game with him and Carolyn. But after a few games, she said she had to go speck to Mrs. Stoddard about something.
Carolyn said, "That's alright Vickie. David and I will go get some ice cream or something."
Vickie found Mrs. Stoddard in the drawing room at her desk looking through some papers. "Mrs. Stoddard, Is there any news about Burke? You seemed nervous all through dinner."
Elizabeth couldn't tell Vickie that she was worried about her being depressed over Burke that Elizabeth was afraid Vickie might turn to Barnabas again. But Elizabeth knew she had to tell Barnabas for foe she feared this time their relationship might go beyond friendship. She could only hope that he would understand and keep her secret.
One of the many secrets that loomed in the dark shadows of Collinwood. Elizabeth assured her there was no more news and at that moment Barnabas came into the drawing room.
"Hello Vickie. Elizabeth." He said.
Sometimes Vickie felt uneasy around Barnabas now. Before she dated Burke, she and Barnabas were very close and she had the feeling he wanted to go back to that.
She said, "Hello Barnabas." But when she looked at Elizabeth she got the feeling that Elizabeth was upset about something and that she had asked Barnabas over to talk about it. So she excused herself and said she wanted to go 'check on David'.
She closed the big double doors and started to walk away when she heard Barnabas say, "Elizabeth, when you sent word that you had to speck to me about Vickie, I came as soon as I could. What is it? Is she ill?" Vickie leaned against the door, thinking she just had to find out why Elizabeth was so upset about her.
"No Barnabas. But it is something you should know about her, something you must promise you will never tell her. It would destroy her and Carolyn both." said Elizabeth sat down, nervously wringing her hands.
Barnabas sat beside her, "Carolyn? What does she have to do with it? I know she and Vickie are close but…"
Elizabeth turned to him and interrupted, "Oh Barnabas, it happened so long ago, I had no idea at the time. I didn't find out until a few years later. I knew I had to do something but I didn't know what. I couldn't just disrupt everyone's lives. Carolyn was already a troubled teenager; she wanted to rebel against everything. I couldn't tell her then, she would have run off."
"Elizabeth. I thought you said you wanted to talk to me about Vickie. What does Carolyn being a wild teenager have to do with Vickie?"
Elizabeth stood and went to the fireplace, staring at the flames, as if they would give her the strength to tell the truth, to actually say the words aloud that she had kept inside for what seemed an eternity. Finally she turned to Barnabas and began to tell him something that happened years ago, when she allowed a young servant girl into her home.
She said her name was Lana. Elizabeth knew the girl would give birth soon, but she felt sorry for her when she said she had no family. No one to turn to and she was willing to work hard just for a place to stay. Elizabeth could not turn her away for she too were about to have her first child and knew how frighten the young girl was.
As she talks of that time, she seems to be back there, mistress of Collinwood, and a young mother to be. If only she had known of the evil plan the young Lana had in mind. If only she had known how many nights the girl sat in her room, hating Elizabeth for having everything and she had nothing. Lana would make sure her child had everything, everything Elizabeth had. And after she made sure, she would leave Collinwood. She would have to leave, but she knew it meant leaving her child, but she knew it meant a better life foe her child. She knew Elizabeth was too kind hearted to ever turn her back on a helpless child.
After two long months of watching everyone pamper Elizabeth while she received only the necessary care, Lana would soon be able to carry out her plan. The pains had started in the morning and Mrs. Johnson sent for the mid-wife right away. She pushed away the pain and smiled, thinking of the great life her child would have. Mrs. Johnson came in and assured her the mid-wife was on the way. She asked her if she was comfortable and needed anything. After a few moments she said she had to get back to Mrs. Stoddard because the doctor hadn't arrived.
The next morning when Mrs. Johnson came in to check on her and her baby, Lana learned that Mrs. Stoddard had also had a baby girl, just a few hours after Lana had. Mrs. Johnson saw the girl smile and thought how sweet the girl was to be happy for Mrs. Stoddard. But Lana's smile wasn't for Mrs. Stoddard. It was for a plane racing through her mind.
"This will work even better." She whispered to her baby.
She knew she couldn't wait, the switch had to be made tonight. She forced herself to get up, to be sure she had the strength to walk, then she would rest the rest of the day. She knew she had enough strength to carry her child to the nursery, change their clothing and bring Elizabeth's baby back to her room.
The next morning, as she stood over the sleeping child in the crib, she couldn't believe how easy the switch went last night. Both babies had slept through it all. She was sure no one had seen her, and she was sure it was a sign that this was meant to be.
Lana stayed at Collinwood only long enough to be sure no one suspected anything. Then in the middle of the night, when the big house was dark and quite, she went into the nursery to give her child a kiss good bye.
Mrs. Johnson awoke to the sound of the baby crying. Mumbling to herself she put on her robe and went to see if she could help the new mother. When Lana didn't answer the knock, Mrs. Johnson went inside. Thinking Lana must have stepped outside. She leaned over to pick up the baby and noticed an envelope addressed the Mrs. Stoddard. After calling one of the other servants to watch the baby, she took the letter to Mrs. Stoddard.
She found her in the study, working at her desk. Out of breath as if she had been running she asked Mrs. Stoddard if she had seen Lana this morning.
"No, I haven't. I wanted to get this work done before breakfast. Is something wrong?"
"Well I heard her baby crying so I went to see if I could help, but she wasn't there so I picked up the baby and this envelope was beside her. I haven't read it, but I have the feeling it's not good." Mrs. Johnson was still rambling on and on when Elizabeth took the envelope and read the letter. "What is it Mrs. Stoddard? Oh dear, I knew it wasn't good. I just knew it."
"Mrs. Johnson, please!" Elizabeth finished the letter and after a few moments she explained to the older woman that Lana had left and asked her to take care of the baby.
Mrs. Johnson was shocked, "That poor baby, having to grow up without a mother. What are you going to do? One baby is a lot of responsibility, but two!" She threw up her arms in despair.
Elizabeth turned to her and said, "You're right Mrs. Johnson, and you're right about this baby needing a mother. I think the best thing for this baby is to be placed in an orphanage where she can be adopted by two loving parents who will want and care for her. I'll wait two weeks. If Lana doesn't return by then, I'll make arrangements. In the mean time, I trust you to see that the baby is taken care of."
After Mrs. Johnson agreed and left, Elizabeth said a silent prayer that the child would soon be adopted.
The weeks went by and Lana did not return, so Elizabeth sends the child to an orphanage, not knowing at the time, that it was her own child. She asked them to promise never to tell the child who sent her there. And Elizabeth promised them a yearly contribution for her care, and also for their silence. So Victoria's records indicated a woman who ran out before anyone could get a name brought her in.
Sixteen years later, Elizabeth and Carolyn sat in the drawing room planning her 16th birthday party.
"Oh Mother," Carolyn said as she placed her hands over her mother's, "thank you so mush for this party. I know I haven't been the best daughter in the world. But I promise you, I'm going to try harder." Giving her mother a hug she added, "I love you."
Elizabeth wiped away a tear, it seemed so long since she and Carolyn were this close. She knew that part of Carolyn's bad behavior was due to the fact that she believed her farther walked out on them and she was expecting him to return. Elizabeth knew better. At thirteen, she began to get in trouble at school and hang around with what Elizabeth considered the wrong crowd.
Carolyn laughed and said she would even try to get along with David. Mrs. Johnson came into the room and announced that there was someone at the door to see her. Elizabeth stood and asked who it was.
"I think it's someone who used to work here." Mrs. Johnson answered.
Carolyn jumped up laughing and said, "They probably wants their job back. I think I'll finish this upstairs in my room." As she went to the stairs she saw the woman waiting to see her mother. She spoke to her, but quickly excused herself. There was something about the woman that gave Carolyn strange feeling. Mrs. Johnson told the woman she could come into the drawing room.
"Lana!" Elizabeth gasped.
"Yes Mrs. Stoddard. I was hoping you would remember me, it'll make things a lot easier." She walked further into the room, looking around she added, "This place is just as beautiful as the last time I was here."
Elizabeth noticed as air of assurance about her this time and made a mental note to be careful, that Lana wasn't to be trusted. "The last time you were here." Elizabeth said, "You make it sound as if we're long time friends. Must I remind you that you were a servant here?"
Lana glared at her and said, "No! I've thought of those days everyday since I left."
Elizabeth interrupted saying, "And have you thought of the child you left behind?"
Lana turned away, "Yes Mrs. Stoddard, everyday. I didn't want to leave my baby but I knew I couldn't take care of her. If I had stayed here, she would have grown up to be a servant, like me."
Elizabeth told her there was no disgrace in being a servant. But Lana continued, "You had so much. I wanted her to have a family and a nice home and I knew if you raised her as your own she would have everything."
Elizabeth walked to the fireplace and stared into the flames. She never thought Lana had meant for her to keep the baby at Collinwood, just to find her a nice home. Finally Elizabeth said, "But I didn't raise her. I felt she would be better off adopted by a loving couple." She looked at Lana, "We waited to be sure you wouldn't come back, then she was taken to the orphanage."
Lana was shocked; she slowly sat on the sofa. Elizabeth moves in front of her and said, "Surely you didn't come here now wanting her back. She knows nothing about you. For all she knows you're dead."
Still Lana just sat in silence, which made Elizabeth even more furious, so she continued, "You can't just come back and disrupt the girl's whole life. I'm sure she has no desire to meet the woman who abandoned her when she was a helpless infant."
Lana jumped up, "It wasn't like that! I left her in your care, so she would have a better life than the one I could have given her. I wanted her to have a family, a nice home, fine clothes, all the things you have Mrs. Stoddard. Yes! My child would have it all!"
Elizabeth thought the woman was going mad, so she tried to explain, "But I had no idea that was what you meant in the letter. I thought you just wanted me to make sure she was placed with a family, that's why we placed her in an orphanage."
Lana screamed, "Orphanage! If I had wanted her in an orphanage, I could have done that!" She walked past her and stood by the fireplace. After a few moments, she turned to face Elizabeth. This time she had a sly grin on her face. Elizabeth wondered what she was up to now. But Lana seemed calm now as she said, "No Elizabeth, you didn't place my child in an orphanage. My child has been here at Collinwood."
Elizabeth walked to the drawing room doors, "I don't know what kind of game you're playing, but I'm tired of it. I want you out of my house now and don't ever come back."
Lana walked over to her, "I'll go, but Carolyn is coming with me."
"Carolyn! You are mad. Why on Earth would Carolyn want to go with you?
Lana was still smiling, "I told you Mrs. Stoddard, my child in here. She's been here for sixteen years. Do you think I would take a chance that you would send my child away?" Lana turned away but continued, "Carolyn has such pretty blond hair, just like mine, don't you think?"
Elizabeth walked around in front of her, "What are you getting at Lana? I told you I'm tired of your little games. What do you really want? Money?"
Lana stopped smiling, "I want my daughter. I can give her a good life now. Once I explain to her why I left, I know she'll come with me."
Elizabeth tried again, "I told you, your child was placed in an orphanage."
Lana was also getting tired; she decided it was time to tell Elizabeth about the switch. "I can't believe you haven't guessed. Do I have to spell it out for you? When the babies were a few days old, I switched them. I took my child to the nursery that night, changed their clothes, and took your child back to my room. Remember I left a few weeks after they were born? By then I knew no one suspected anything."
Elizabeth was shocked; she sat down on the sofa, one hand holding her chest. She thought about Carolyn's hair and features, She remembered that all through Carolyn's childhood people remarked that Carolyn didn't favor either parent. She remembered the one time she went to the orphanage. Of course, the girl didn't know who she was but Elizabeth remembered thinking what lovely dark hair the girl had and she could have passed for a Collins.
Slowly Elizabeth walked to the big double doors and opened them. Standing to one side with her hands clasped, she calmly turned to Lana and said, "I want you to leave now and never come back."
Lana brushed by her, but stopped at the stairs. Looking back over her shoulders, she said, "I'll leave. After I speak to Carolyn." And she started up the stairs.
Elizabeth rushed to the stairs saying, "You will never see Carolyn!"
The two struggled; Lana lost her balance and fell to the bottom of the stairs. Elizabeth rushed down and leaned over her, "Lana! Lie still." But it was too late for help.
With her last ounce of strength she vowed to Elizabeth, "Just as I shall never have my child, you shall never have yours. I shall see to it. Even if I have to come back from the grave."
Elizabeth stood and stared down at the lifeless body, just as Mrs. Johnson came in from the kitchen. Mrs. Johnson became hysterical. Elizabeth told her to calm down and call the sheriff. "Tell them you want to report an accident at Collinwood."
Now six years later, Elizabeth had finally found the courage to tell the story. Barnabas stared at her, in such shock from her words he could hardly move.
"No one ever came to find out what happened to Lana?" He finally asked.
"Yes. Her brother-in-law. As it turns out, Lana's husband died six months before. He always thought she had something to do with it. When he asked why she came here, I told him she had left her child behind and was out raged because I sent her away. I told him that Lana was going to harm Carolyn and she fell after we struggled on the stairs. He didn't seem surprised and let the matter drop."
On the other side of the big double doors, Vickie slowly backed away. Her trembling hand touches her temple as she runs outside. She doesn't think of where she'd going and soon finds herself at the end of the path that branches off the two other paths. One leads to the Old House. She knows she cannot go there tonight. She will never be able to run to Barnabas's arms again.
Hearing Elizabeth's words again, she turned to go down the other path, the one that leads to Widow's Hill. The words kept echoing in her mind and crushing her heart. Each step took her further away form those words, form the lies that had been masquerade as good intentions. Good intentions could not make up for the nights she spent wondering about her mother and for all the days she could have been a Collins. But she could feel no bitterness for Elizabeth now. Everyone at Collinwood had treated her with love and respect from the very beginning.
So deep in her thoughts, Vickie didn't notice the wind had begun to blow harder, as if it was trying to hurry her to the edge of the cliffs. Before she knew it she was standing on the edge looking out at the dark ocean. There was a full moon so she could easily see the jagged rocks below. She began to feel faint, holding her hand she sat down on a big rock.
Vickie looked up at the stars. She was reminded of another night she sat looking at the dark sky. Only that time she was gazing out of a train window, waiting to begin her journey to Collinwood. A journey of anticipation and apprehension. The people at the orphanage had told her very little about the Collins family. They said they had received a letter from Mrs. Elizabeth Collins-Stoddard offering her a position as governess to her young nephew. When asked why Mrs. Stoddard had offered her the position when there were other girls there more qualified, she was told not to ask questions and that she should be grateful to have a position with such a prestigious family. During the train ride she was so deep in her thoughts about her new life, that she didn't hear the man sitting beside her the first time he spoke to her. He introduced himself as Bruke Devlin. As they talked Vickie got the feeling he knew the Collins family very well but there seemed to be hard feeling on his side.
By the time the train pulled into Collinsport it was very late. Bruke rode in the taxi with Vickie to Collinwood but won't go in. As she was getting out of the taxi, he touched her arm and said, "Be careful who you trust."
For a moment she wondered if he meant the people in the big house or himself. She felt nervous standing in front of the big double doors. Mrs. Johnson answered the door and Vickie said, "Hello, I'm Victoria Winters." Mrs. Johnson told her to come in and helped her with her coat. "I know it's very late, But Mrs. Stoddard said I was to come straight form the train station no matter how late it was." Mrs. Johnson walked to he double doors and said, "Well, come on. Don't be shy."
In side the big room Elizabeth stood by the window. When she turned around Vickie thought she was the most beautiful lady she had ever seen. Even this late at night she was dressed so elegant, as if she was on her way to a Ball. She greeted Vickie with a warm smile and said, "Vickie, welcome. I know you must be exhausted from your trip, so I promise I won't keep you long. There'll be plenty of time for us to get to know each other. I just want you to consider this your home and in time come to feel like part of the family."
Her greeting astonished Vickie, all she could think to say was, "Thank you, Mrs. Stoddard."
Elizabeth went to the door and called Mrs. Johnson. Turning back to Vickie she said, "Since it is late, you will meet the rest of the family in the morning. You can join us for breakfast at 8:oo."
Mrs. Johnson came and they both said good night and Mrs. Johnson showed her to her room upstairs. She told her David's room was across the hall from her and Carolyn's room was next to his. She couldn't believe how big her room was. There was a canopy bed; tall windows with blue velvet drapes and someone had even lit the fireplace. She never expected anything like this. She didn't know it at the time, but there would be many more things she wouldn't expect.
Early the next morning she found her way to the dinning room. Mrs. Stoddard, Carolyn and David were already seated.
Mrs. Stoddard looked up and smiled, "Vickie. Come join us. I hope you slept well."
Sitting down Vickie said, "Yes."
"Hello Vickie, I'm Carolyn. I must say you're quite different form the last governess. She was such an old fuddy-duddy."
Carolyn laughed and Elizabeth exclaimed, "Carolyn!" Vickie knew right then that Carolyn enjoyed shocking her Mother, "Vickie, this is David. David say hello to Miss. Winters."
David extended his hand saying, "Hello Miss. Winters. I hope you like it here at Collinwood."
Carolyn laughed, "Don't be fooled by his gentlemanly ways, he can be a real handful at times."
Vickie turned back to David, "Well hello David. I'm sure I'm sure I'm going to like it here. Everyone's been so kind."
Carolyn picked up her juice and said, "Well, you haven't met everyone yet. There's Uncle Roger, David's father."
Mrs. Stoddard assured Vickie that she and Mr. Collins would get along fine. So began her stay at Collinwood. She did get along with Roger, although he wasn't as warm and friendly as Elizabeth. She and Carolyn were the same age and soon became good friends. David did prove to be a handful at times, but soon they established a harmonious rapport.
Shaking her head as if coming out of a trance, Vickie realized she had let her mind drift back. Who would have thought then that one day she would be standing at Widow's Hill facing the truth about her birth? Vickie knew Elizabeth was right about Carolyn, if she found out she wasn't a Collins, she would be devastated. She also knew she couldn't confront Elizabeth. Elizabeth had told her some things should never be spoken of. But she that one day Elizabeth would tell her. Perhaps she was waiting at Collinwood to tell her tonight! But if not tonight, she was confident that there would be a day when she could embrace Elizabeth and whisper the word "Mother". Tired of thinking about everything, she stood up to go back to Collinwood. When she turned, she saw Barnabas coming toward her.
"Vickie, I thought you were in your room at Collinwood." He came closer and touched her arm.
She didn't face him. She just said, "I've been walking for awhile. Just thinking." She walked past him saying, "I have to get back now."
He reached out and held her shoulders. Even though her back was turned to him, he knew she was on the verge of tears. He asked, "Are you alright?"
Vickie knew she had to face him so he would see that she was strong enough to get through this. She looked up into those penetrating eyes she knew so well and said, "Barnabas, you've been a very good friend, but I think you know now that we can only be friends. Special friends."
She kissed him on the cheek and turned to walk away.
"Vickie!" he called out, "Let me walk with you back to Collinwood."
Turning her head just a little but not looking back at him she said, "No Barnabas. I'll be all right. I'm going home."
Just over the edge of Widow's Hill the shadowy figure of a woman hovered. It was consumed by hate and despair. It watched Vickie and the creature that looked like a man disappear into the darkness. The figure was unable to carry out it's murder of Vickie. Just as it was ready to force the girl over the ledge, another older and more powerful force stopped it.
"Why!" It screamed into the wind, "What right do you have to interfere!"
"Vickie is destined to be with me." The second presence answered, "Until she is brought to me, I will not let anyone between us. Now go!"
The other presence took on the form of a young blond haired man just before it vanished. The shadowy woman could no longer see the other, but knew it was still there. She was powerless to harm the girl, but Elizabeth didn't know that. She will always be afraid to tell her real daughter the truth. It was a small comfort, thought the thing that had once been Lana, but it would have to do. With one last exasperated look at Collinwood, she too vanished forever.
THE END