DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto. It belongs to Kishimoto. If I did I wouldn't make so many inconsistences like how Naruto failed the genin exam three times but he's the same age as Sasuke and the rest of the Konoha 9, or how Madara is able to free himself from the Edo Tensei while Tobirama, the one who made the justu, can't free himself from when Orochimaru uses it, among other things.

"Character Dialogue"

Character thoughts

"Justu" or AN

In kohona Naruto is just kicked out of the orphanage on his fifth birthday. It is October 10 and he tries to go to the festival to get something to eat. The villagers then rally together and proceed to chase a hungry Naruto with the intent to kill.

"Stop it, I never did anything to you" yelled a certain blond who was running for his life.

"You're going to feel the pain from all those years ago." Yelled a random citizen.

"You killed my brother, now it's time for you to die demon"

"I don't know what you're talking about just leave me alone." Yelled the blond as he rounded the corner. The villagers had been chasing him for what seem to be hours. They always chased him on the day of the festival. They would always come to him, even when he hid, just so they could torment him. The only time that they didn't was when the old man was with him. Why did they do it? What did he do to them? They always called him a demon and chased him where ever he went. The nice ones would just shun him and act like he wasn't there. Why did he deserve it? Naruto kept on running down the streets. He was heading towards the hokage tower they always left him alone when the old man was with him.

Naruto was almost at the tower. Too bad for him that the civilians weren't the only ones chasing him. The ANBU that were supposed to keep watch over him had laid out trip wire. The demon always ran to the hokage when he was in trouble. But not today, today he would pay for killing their comrades. Today he would suffer.

"Please just leave me alone I nev… oof." The blond cried out, even though he had long lost his pursuers, as he tripped. He scrambled to get up but in front of him were three ANBU officers in front of him. There was one with a white mask on the left, a blue on the right, and a red and orange mask in the middle. The weird thing about them though was the fact that there mask were the same. They were all foxes. "P-Pl-Please don't hurt me. I ju-just want to go home."

"You're lying to us. Your home is in the opposite direction." Said the fox in the middle. You know what's going to happen to you?"

"I ju-just want to go home"

"You're going to die." Stated the same ANBU as he pulled out a kunai. The other two ANBU with him pulled out their own kunais and started to walk to the helpless Naruto. "And when you die," continue the fox who was tormenting Naruto "no one is going to miss you. There will finally be peace at last" and with that he threw the kunai at the blond hair boy and let a smirk grace his lips when it lodge itself into Naruto's shoulder.

"Ahhh," the physical exhaustion of running away from the townsfolk and the mental abuse he was receiving was starting to catch up with him. The streak of pain from his shoulder and the mental anguished pushed him over the edge. He blacked out.

"Look he's foaming at the mouth," said the blue fox "do we kill him?"

"What do you think we do? Take him to the hospital."

"Ohhhhh"

"Of course we kill him," responded the reddish-orange fox ANBU. "Use eradication method two."

As soon as the words came out of his mouth all three of the ANBU started to fly through a set of hand seals. When the finished the last set of hand seals they raised a hand to their mouth and called out in union (Fire Release: Great Fireball Justu) three balls of orange and red flames left their mouths simultaneously and flew towards Naruto and exploded. When the flames died down there was nothing left except scotch marks on the ground to signify where Naruto last resting place alive was.

"Well that worked better than I expected" said blue.

"Let's leave before people show up, then come back and say we found notice the chakra spike." Said the leader in the middle as both him and blue jumped up to leave the scene to back to later.

"Hey where's whitey?"

"He's right here" said the leader as he turn around only to find an empty space next to him. "I guess not," when he turned around to look at blue all he saw was a decapitated body, "what the," were the last words that he would ever speak as a katana slice through his neck, efficiently decapitating the orange-red fox.

Weasel whipped his blade on his pants. Even though he was a fresh ANBU at the age of 13 he was still better them most of them, and a lot more loyal than them too. The three headless ninjas were a prime example of that. If only Kohona had more of him. At least Naruto was safe from the fools who thought that they had killed a demon.

Weasel Jumped to the roof on the opposite side of the clearing. Naruto was still laying down on the ground. The wound that was once on his shoulder was nothing more than a scrape now. If only he could have that type of power. Oh well the Hokage will want to know about this. Weasel picked up the sleeping child and start to jump roof to roof to the Hokage tower.

When Naruto woke up he was sitting in a comfy chair. Why was he here, sitting down? Wasn't he getting attack by some creepy ninjas with fox masks? Oh yea they said that they were going to kill me. This must be heaven then. What were those voices talking about? Were they talking about him? Ahh one of them was explaining his fuss with the strange ninjas. When he tried to open his eyes he immediately closed them. The light was just too bright.

"I think our little friend has awaken Weasel." Said a different voice. Hold up was that… this time when Naruto opened his eyes he didn't care about the light he ran straight to Jiji and broke down in tears. "It was horrible they wo-wouldn't leave me alone." He cried out.

"It's ok Naruto, they are taken care of now," said the Hokage who glanced up at weasel," let's get you back to the Orphanage.

Yo-You can't they kicked me out."

Damn just when he had finished his paperwork and was about to happen this happens. Kami must hate him. Just how much paperwork will this cause? "How would you like your own place Naruto?"

"R-Re-Really?" he replied unknowing mimicking a certain hyuga.

"I could get you a place to call your own by tomorrow"

"Thanks Jiji." and with that Naruto fell asleep with a smile on his face.

"Weasel you are dismissed. I'll make sure that Naruto has a place to stay for tonight.

"Yes Hokage-sama." With that weasel poof out of the office in a swirl of leaves.

Next day in front of an apartment complex

"This Naruto is to be your new home." In front of the pair was a two storied building that look like it had seen better days. It was a dull gray building with flakes of the paint missing here and there, and boards covering some of the windows. But that didn't matter to Naruto, to him it was a place where he could get away from the world.

"Is it all mine" asked the blond with hope radiating from his eyes.

Sarutobi just shook his head "No Naruto. Your home is on the next floor. Follow me you have to get it from the outside." They walked around to the side of the apartments and up a set of stairs. When they reach the door Sarutobi turned around to Naruto and spoke "Naruto here's the key for your place. It is yours but you have to be responsible and take care of it."

"Ok jiji" said a thrilled Naruto. He grasp the key and put into the keyhole and when he pushed the door in he gasped and stared at the sight in front of him. When he walked in he was in the living room that had a couch and multiple chairs and a table in the center of it all. To the far side of the room was a kitchen against the wall that had a fridge and a stove. On the other side of the room there were two doors. When he looked in the one next to the kitchen he saw that it was the bathroom. And the next one was a bedroom with a queen size bed and a closet that had his clothes already there with consisted of white, black and orange shirts that had a swirl on the back, and black and orange shorts and pants. When he came back to the living room and he saw the hokage sitting on the couch smoking while looking out of the window. When he walked over to the hokage and looked to where the hokage was looking he saw the hokages faces on the cliff.

"Naruto do you know what the hokage job is?"

"Yea it's to be the strongest ninja right."

"No Naruto it's not that it is…"

"PAPERWORK! Someone has to do it right."

"No it's protecting the villagers and putting your live out for them. The First died before the first shinobi war but that was because he never fully healed after his fight with Madara and died from the injuries he had received. The Second died protecting konoha shinobi from an ambushed in the first shinobi war. I lead Konohagakure through the second and third war. And the fourth gave up his life to get rid of the nine-tailed demon fox from destroying this town that you live in. The hokages put their lives on the line to keep the village safe. To be hokage means to protect you village and putting your life on the line for it."

"When I grow up I'm going to be the best hokage and I'm going to protect the village jiji. Just you wait I'm going to take that hat and I am going to be the best."

"It is not easy Naruto. To be hokage has a lot of responsibilities, and you must be strong."

"Then I will become the strongest there is."

A few hours later

After giving Naruto a weekly allowance the hokage had left. With nothing else left to do Naruto had walked around trying to find something to do when his stomach decided to make itself known by growling. He sheepishly looked around hoping that no one heard him, and saw that everyone was paying attention to him. Looking around saw a sign advertising ramen and it seem to call out to him, as if ramen was implanted into his genes begging him to devour it. When he walked inside he was greeted by an elderly man "Welcome to Ichiraku, what can I get for you?"

Looking at the menu and browsing at all the different choices he decided one that was calling out to him. "I'll have one bowl of miso flavor ramen with extra pork please"

"Coming right up" said the old man "Ayame one bowl of miso ramen with extra pork" "alright dad" came from the back. While Naruto was waiting patiently after being told it would take about three minutes engaging with the now known as Teuchi. When his ramen did arrive by a brown hair girl in an apron. Exclaiming "Itadakimasu" while breaking his chopsticks. After taking the first bite of what could only be the food of the gods he devour the bowl faster than you could count to 10. "Can I have five more please?" Teuchi just chuckled "Ayame its time to bring out the pot"

"But isn't that only for when we have a rush?" "Trust me and bring it out we don't want to keep the customer waiting do we?"

"Whats so special about a pot?" asked a confused Naruto. "Our last numberone customer gave it to us as a gift. It cooks so fast that when you count to three the ramen is done." "Cooooollll" exclaim Naruto with stars in his eyes "How does it work?" "Ninja tricks." Replied Teuchi with a glint in his eye. With that Ayame came out with five bowls of ramen.

After devouring the best ramen he ever had in his life he left Ichiraku and wished Teuchi and Ayame a good night.

Next day

When Naruto went to buy himself breakfast he found out that Ichiraku wasn't open yet, so when he tried to find somewhere else to eat but all the establishments threw him out and called him a demon and other names. After getting tired of just walking around he decided to just take what he wanted. He went next of the nearest store which was a bakery and saw a freshly made pie. With his stomach growling and demanding food and the mouthwatering aroma of the pie he set his eyes on the pie and snatched it. Too bad he wasn't thinking rationally or trying to conceal his action and was immediately spotted. The chase afterward which he was able to escape only because no ninjas were in the group but he ended up tired and he had lost his prize. Stealing was much harder than the movies he saw at the orphanage. Well there was one thing that he learned from the orphanage if at first you don't succeed try, try again. He got up and went to the same to store to try to take another pie.

It has been 3 years.

Three years and Naruto's name was infamous among all shop owners. He was a master thief at the age of eight. In the first year he was caught by civilians 6 times, 24 times by chunin, and 35 times by jonin. The second year those numbers went down drastically he was never caught by civilians, 13 times by chunin, and lastly 24 times by jonin. The last year he was only caught by chunin 5 times, jonin 14 times and these weird ninjas with mask on their face every time they chased him. But these were only when he stole from the stores and not including the pranks he did or when he started pickpocketing. He was a thief, but he didn't see what was so wrong with it. It was training as he saw it. Stamina, speed, infiltration, sneakiness, and being able to think on the dot were all utilized and trained. Today he was going to steal from a clothes shop. This one was owned by civilians and was much easier to steal from the ones owned by ninjas. When he went to the store he ducked into one of the aisles to make sure the owner didn't see and kicked him out before he got what he needed. He went to the side and picked up a blacked hoodie and some black jeans. He walked around some more to find an orange shirts and put a few inside of his backpack with some of the other spare he got. After getting what he need he went to the changing room and replaced his black shorts and orange shirt with a set of clothes he took and placed his old clothes into the backpack with all the other spares he took. While he was walking out of the dressing room the owner saw he him and screamed out "STOP IT'S A THIEF, SOMEONE STOP THE DEMON, THIEF" with that Naruto dashed out of the aisles and jumped out the window in a cannonball fashion and sprinted down the street while the shop owner keep on screaming "Stop get that delinquent, he's a thief."

A few of chunin that were patrolling the area saw a hooded child running away from a group of civilians and started to join in with chasing the thief that could only be Naruto. "Look it's the ninjas. The demon won't get away now." Overhearing the cheers of the civilians Naruto decide that let the façade fall and started trying to get away instead of giving the civilians false hope. With that Naruto dashed down into the next alley and jumped up onto a fire-escape. When he reached the top of the latter he pulled it just as the mob turned into the alley. He started climbing the fire-escape while the civilians continue to yell curses at him. While he might have escape the civilians the ninjas just jumped on the wall and started to run him. I swear I have to learn how they DO THAT thought our whisker friend while climbing up to the roof. When he got to the roof he started the roof chase with the ninjas jumping from roof to roof. While getting chase more ninjas join the original two chunin until it was a steady group of ten ninjas chasing him.

Reality, there was eleven ninjas one was an anbu but he was keeping out of sight and just observing. He was surprised; the Hokage wasn't exaggerating when he stated that Naruto would be a great ninja. Hear was a civilian not even an academy ninja yet, but here he was making these ninjas actually trying to just keep up with him. Everything from smoke bombs to shuriken and kunai traps; running through buildings to actually going through people's houses and coming back out from the opposite side. It was ridicules.

Naruto jump down from the roof and darted into an alley. When the ninjas reached all they heard was a CLANG. One by the one they walked to each trashcan and pulled the lid off of them hoping to find the rascal that had lead them on this chase. When they got to the last trashcan the crowded around it and yanked it off hoping to see the blond hair boy. They were disappointed to see a cat eating a dead fish.

"Where the hell does he disappear to?" cried out one of the chunin. The other ninjas just shrugged their shoulders and walked off disappointed in themselves that they couldn't catch a child. But it didn't last and soon they were back to their regular moods. Why should they feel bad about not being able to catch a kid that most other ninjas couldn't.

A minute after the ten ninjas had left the scene a piece of the ground rose up the ground slowly started to slip of till you could see it slipping off of something. When it did indeed fall it revealed itself to be a picture of the ground on top of a man cover (Think of Naruto episode one. The cloth he uses for when he's camouflaging into the fence now think of one for the ground) and out of the manhole came Naruto who seemed to be beaming. Another job well done. They'll never catch the GREAT AND MAGNIFICENT NAR- "Uzumaki-san I am here to take you to the hokage office." Turning around Naruto was faced to face to with an ANBU.

"AH weasel-san, how nice to see you today, what can I help you with" said Naruto trying to portray innocence. "Uzumaki-san I am here to take you to the hokage office." Weasel repeated. "Why, what did I do? You want to see my bag here." Replied Naruto deciding to cut the bullshit. He slipped his backpack off his shoulders and open it up showing weasel coloring books and coloring pencils. Weasel just looked at the bag confused written over his face which was luckily cover by his mask. "I am not here on that matter but since you brought it up I'm taking you to the hokage about the window that you jumped though." With that weasel put his hand on naruto's shoulder and disappear in a swirl of leaves. The one though going through naruto's mind was fuck im so fucked.

When both weasel and Naruto appeared in the hokage office to see their leader with an orange book giggling perversely at it before he stuffed it up his sleeve of his robe and tried to regain his dignity.

"Report weasel."

"I'm here with Naruto like you requested Hokage-sama"

"Thank you weasel you are dismissed." With that weasel (Body flicker) away. "Naruto I have a very important question to you and this can decide you future if you answer yes or no. Do you want to be a ninja?"

"YYEESS!" Naruto screamed out loud without so much a hint of hesitation. "Thank you jiji, just you wait before you know it I'll have you hat and be the hokage and then everyone will have to acknowledge ME!"

"Don't worry Naruto when you are strong enough I'll gladly give you this position." And I'll finally be free of this curse called paperwork. Muwhahaha "HAHAHAHA"

"Are you ok Jiji? Why are you laughing do you think I won't be able to do it?"

"No Naruto I believe you can do it I just remember an inside joke"

"Can I hear it? Please."

"Only kages and clan heads get it Naruto."

"So when do I start the academy jiji?

"In a week Naruto, I have do the paperwork to get you register you'll only be a day later than the rest of the students. I will treat you out for ramen when I am done with my work ok Naruto."

"YES, be prepare to spend all your money jiji." Exclaim Naruto as he walked out of the hokage office with a bounce in his step and a genuine grin on his face today just couldn't get better."

"What horror did I just sign myself too? Thought the Sarutobi as he contemplated if should go with Naruto to get ramen or if he wanted to get more paperwork.

"Do you think that was a wise decision Hokage-sama?" ask one of his ANBU that were guarding the room after the doors had been close.

"Yes, Naruto is able to elude most of my ninjas that are not ANBU or elite jonin just imagine the what he can do with proper ninja training." Replied Sarutobi.

"True hokage-sama, but when I said was that a wise decision I meant taking him out for ramen"

A sweat drop appeared on sarutobi's head while he shook his head slowly. "No, no it wasn't. I'm getting to old for this shit"

The ANBUs in his office just sweat drop at their Hokage actions.

After the meeting with his Jiji, Naruto couldn't have been happier and that showed to everyone who saw the grin that was plaster on his face. With a bounce to his step Naruto skipped to the alleyway where he had first lost the civilians and after maneuvering the trashcans around so that he could reach the fire-escape ladder he climb up to see that his backpack was still there. Works every time. With that he swung his backpack with the clothes that he had stolen over his right shoulder while the backpack with the coloring books was on his left shoulder and went home to drop is earnings off.

Few hours later at a shinobi bar

Naruto was outside of a bar that he could tell was filled with high ranking shinobi if the flask jackets were anything to go by. Walking up to a booth that had multiple ninjas in one being a person with silver gravity defining hair, one with a green body suit with orange leg warmers, another one with a beard that was smoking, a kunoichi that had red eyes, and another kunoichi that seem to have no problems showing off her body if the open trench coat and short orange skirt was anything to go by. Going up to the man that had his head in an orange book Naruto pulled on his sleeve "Excuse me ninja-san?"

Every eye at that table shifted to the blond hair kid that was pulling on Kakashi shirt. "Hum, did you say something?

Ignoring the screams about how hip and cool his rival was from the man in the green spandex Naruto replied "umm. I'm joining the academy soon and I was wondering what the most important part is to being a ninja?" the ninja around the table just looked at the kid who was actually smart enough to seek advice from his elders.

"YOSH YOUR FLAMES BURN BRIGHT YOUNG ONE, THE SECRET IS YOUTH, THE POWER TO NEVER GIVE UP!" exclaim the guy in spandex.

"While I agree with Guy to never giving up the secret is genjustu" said the girl with red eyes.

"Stop trying to spread your philosophy Kureina it's all about refining the techniques that you have and using them to the best of your ability" replied the smoker

"What about you ninja-san?" ask Naruto to the silver hair man pulling on his sleeve to gain his attention.

"Oh my turn already hum" said the cyclopes as he continued reading. "To be a great ninja you must be able to deceive and look underneath the underneath. Let us say that the rookie of the year was to have a spar with a classmate the classmate will be prepare for the worst and will overestimate his opponent, and while that could be a bad thing it never hurts to come to a fight prepare. But let us say that that same classmate had to fight the dead last he would overestimate himself and come underprepare and if that was a real fight he would almost certainly come out dead. Look underneath the underneath is look past the deceit and to truly know what you are facing."

Ignoring Guy cried about how cool and hip his eternal rival was about giving a speech without looking up from his book, Naruto thank the masked nin before turning to the kunoichi with her purple hair shape like a pineapple only to have her swipe her hand next to his face with a kunai making another pair of whiskers above the six that he already had.

"Intimidation gaki" she responded while leaking a bit of KI "if you scare them enough they won't want to fight you which will make it that easier to win."

"O-O-Ok-k I get it thankyougottogo." Exclaim Naruto as he scramble to get away from the crazy woman.

"Was that really necessary Anko?"

"Experience is the best way to learn, and you know that Asuma."

When Naruto got home he went to his backpack and pulled out his set of coloring pencils taking the darkest color he went to his bed and put a chair on it. After climbing it he wrote on the ceiling. When he was done Naruto moved the chair off of his bed and put the clothes that he had stolen in his closet and got ready for bed. After he had finish getting ready Naruto plopped down on his bed and looked up on the ceiling and smiled as he stared at his work before he drifted off to sleep.

On the Ceiling

NEVER GIVE UP

INTIMIDATE

ITS NOT HOW MANY TECHNIQUES YOU KNOW BUT HOW YOU USE THEM

LOOK UNDERNEATH THE UNDERNEATH

DECIET

MAKE OTHERS SEE WHAT YOU WANT THEM TO SEE (GENJUSTU)

And that's it for this chapter. I'm sort of planning a fic in which Naruto and Sasuke have a bond like brothers. Kakashi actually teaches instead of reading his smut. Sakura if I even keep her won't be some worthless fangirl after maybe some well-deserved bashing. Shadow clones will be abused. OP team seven and when I say OP I mean fighting and escaping Orochimaru in the forest of death without Sasuke getting the cursed seal. Also I've haven't watch most of the anime so most of the filler episodes I don't really know about. So that's all I'm going to share for now. I'll update around the 29th.