Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, except all the books and one DVD, anything else...well no.

Lord Voldemort, The World's Most Feared Dark Lord, and the man-who-has-a-huge-meglomanical-problem, was sitting in his chair utterly bored.

Bored. You wouldn't normally associate the word bored with the most feared person in existence, but today I did. You see, all of his Death Eaters were on vacation having the time of their lives doing Merlin knows what, and he was stuck in his little throne room staring at the opposite wall. He was having so fun in fact, that he noticed that he had 345 cracks on the walls, 46 holes beside them, and that his walls severly lacked in color. Well...I guess he'd just to have to sit and wait for his DE's to return...oh the boredom...

Harry Potter stared at his ceiling, utterly bored. He could hear the Dursley's downstairs talking loudly about a camping trip they were going on today...they were talking loudly to hope to get him jealous so that he would come downstairs and beg to go, that way they could tell him with utter glee that no he couldn't. 'Bastards' he thought before tuning them out.

Several minutes later, there was no sound whatsoever from the house. Harry cautiously opened the door and peered out in the hallway. Still no noise. Breathing in and out somewhat irregularly, he stepped outside and went into Dudley's bedroom.

Inside, there was a computer sitting, somewhat precariously on a cluttered desk. Harry quickly went over to it, and sat down in the chair directly in front of it. He started it up and waited impatiently for it load. Once it did, he clicked on the User Name: H.J.P. He typed in his password and waited (again impatiently) for it load. Once it did, he went to OpenOffice 2.0.1 and opened up the word document entitled: Lord Voldemort's Demise Through Newspapers. Harry grinned evilly.

Lord Voldemort shuddered from some unexpected feeling of dread. Whatever it was, it was planning to harm him...and he didn't have clue as to what it would be until tomorrow morning...

Harry's evil grin stayed plastered to his face as he typed. Several hours later he was done typing and went downstairs for some food. He started opening the cabinets, because, frankly, he wasn't sure what he wanted to eat right then. When he opened the last cabinet, a big plastic bag of marshmallows fell out. Harry's emerald green eyes crinkled slightly, before another evil grin stained his lips.

Lord Voldemort suddenly shot out of his chair as lightening crashed right outside his window. He shuddered again. That creepy feeling was at an all time high...

Harry grinned to himself in the mirror. The image in the mirror wasn't Harry Potter at all...it was Lord Voldemort. You must be thinking that Lord Voldemort was standing behind him or something similiar right? Wrong. Harry Potter had transfigured himself into the Dark Lord himself. Why? Oh that was easy enough...

Harry Pott----Er...I mean Lord Voldemort apparated straight into Diagon Alley. Several people looked at him and shrieked like banshees making everyone else turn their heads. Horrified glances kept well...glancing at him, and as he walked through the little Wizarding town thing, people practically threw themselves to the side to get out of his way. One little boy wasn't fast enough...and landed smack dab on the ground right in front of Lord Voldemort-Harry Potter thing. People gasped loudly and wondered what he was going to do the poor soul...

Harry grinned, and reached inside his robes. Women and men alike shrieked. The parents, he assumed, came running up to him, begging and pleading not to hurt their little boy. The Dark Lord merely raised an eyebrow, before retracting his hand...more gasps ensued...only to come out of his robes with a...bag of marshmallows. He bent down to the little boy and said: "Would you like a marshmallow?" Several people fainted from shock, and took all of Harry's self control not to laugh out loud at their flightliness. The little boy glanced up at him, and Harry smiled kindly. The little boy took one and ran away with his mother and father.

Laughing manicially, or as best as he could laugh evilly, Harry apparated back to the Dursley's house, leaving the occupants in Diagon Alley in shock.

The next morning dawned bright and early, to a groaning Dark Lord who did NOT like mornings. He despised them even more than he did Harry Potter, and THAT'S saying something...well he still wanted to kill the insufferable brat, but he couldn't kill mornings. Besides, he mused, Dark Lord's needed all the time they can have to plot evil things.

He looked up as a sharp tap at his window indicated the arrival of the Daily Prophet. He bit back a groan. They were probably calling Potter a brat again...which he WAS mind you, but it got annoying when he wasn't calling the brat...a brat.

He got up and opened the window and watched as the bird swooped down onto the table in the middle of the room and dropped the paper, before leaving through the same window that still---closed? Yep, the bird smacked the window. Tommy Boy chuckled evilly, before opening the window. The bird made to fly out, but before it did, it smacked Tommy Man in the forehead with hits head and flew out of the room at top speed.

Lord Voldemort blinked. He blinked again. He blinked thrice. Did a bird just headbutt him? He rubbed the place where the bird hit and growled. This was not starting out to be a good day for our favorite little Evil Half-Blood Bastard.

And that only confirmed his slient theory when he read the headline from The Daily Prophet.

He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named Caught Handing Out Marshmallow To Kid

You-Know-Who was seen yesterday as he apparated directly into the heart of the Diagon Alley. Pandemonium erupted...because well...it's Lord Voldemort...SHIT I didn't just write that...I didn't just curse in a newspaper either...oh crap I'm gonna get fired...oh well...might as well finish the article before I get thrown out.

People were screaming and running away from the Supreme Lord of Darkness when a kid tripped and landed smack dab in front of him. Of course the parents being the idiots that they are tried begging and pleading not to kill their son, and you know what LORD VOLDEMORT did? He took out a bag of marshmallows and offered the kid one!

The question we should ask is: Is he crazy insane, or insane crazy?

Hopefully I have more articles to type up after this,

Jeff Blatt

The REAL Lord Voldemort stared at the article. And stared...before: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Harry Potter grinned wolfishly to himself as he retitled the OpenOffice 2.0 1 Document to: 101 Ways To Ruin Lord Voldemort's Reputation.

AN: I hope you enjoyed this! Please leave a review...there very much appreciated: )