He holds your hand as you go back to the room. It's not a typical, easy thing for either of you. You're better with conveying looks and quiet declarations than you are with gestures and touching. You don't pull away though. You need strength from somewhere, and today you can't muster it up. You've been working for it for the last nine months at least, probably longer. You're just tired.
Ms. Corcoran, call her Shelby please, begins with apologizing for crushing you at Regionals. She then goes on to tell you how she can give your daughter a better home than you can and love her more than you ever would. Puck, don't call him Noah bitch, looks torn between throwing a slushie at her and burying his face in your shoulder to cry. You're the only emotionally stable one in the room, which is laughable because you just went through the most important moment of your life. You think maybe the nurse might be able to form a better decision on this than you ever could. There are too many feelings in this room, and the only thing you're good at is pushing them deep, deep down.
All hell breaks loose. Puck attacks Shelby about abandoning Rachel, which you know he doesn't even care about, and Shelby breaks into tears of regret. You sit in your bed, unable to move your legs in your state of sleep deprivation, and watch them. They seemingly represent the two emotions playing up in your chest right now, you can't decide which one to choose. You look at Puck, so ready to fight and to work and to be a family. And at Shelby, ready to settle for what she has and love someone that doesn't even belong to her, so full of love you can't muster.
"You can have her," You muster up finally, trying to ignore the fact that Puck is looking at you like you just stabbed him in the back. "I know you can make a good life for her right now, and we can't," Now you looks at him, but he doesn't seem to want to meet your eyes. "Maybe someday, but right now we're not done being kids. I tried for nine months, to be an adult. I don't want to grow up yet." Suddenly he's sitting on the edge of your bed, nodding solemnly.
"You better love her, a lot," Puck grumbles, glaring at her. And you can't help but feel a little bit proud of him, you've both changed so much from the stupid kids running around behind Finn's back in September.
"I will," Shelby smiles, looking around her in disbelief. It's like just by saying yes, you've given her a whole new world. One where she isn't alone anymore. You feel the corners of your lips tug up slightly, maybe karma will do the same thing for you someday.
"And you better not let her turn into one of those lazy fat kids," He challenges, keeping his frown. "Or one of those freaks without a social life, I've seen what Berry's like. Beth is not going to have a life like that. She's going to be a cheerleader," This surprises you and you stare at him, but he isn't looking at you. "Just like her mother."
Shelby looks at you and smiles, "I hope she'll be a lot like Quinn, beautiful just like her." You blush and nod, trying to tell her to leave before Puck actually does start crying. She seems to get the message, because she stands awkwardly at the end of the bed. "Thank you so much," She croaks. "You won't regret this. I'll love her so much, and I just want what's best for her. If you want I can send you emails and pictures and you can see her," You aren't watching her, but Puck, his eyes are filling up rapidly. "I just…thank you." You nod again and she leaves.
You take Puck's hand. It seems worth your while to just sit there for a while, reeling in what you've lost.