Lecherous Larry

by gammara

A very silly story about a captain who just wants to go on vacation and do what others do. T'Pol tags along. TripHoshi romance as well.

Lecherous Larry Works Things Out

A/N: This is an oldie and it's very silly.

Archer was thrilled to have some rest and relaxation coming his way; he couldn't remember the last time he took a vacation. He put a pair of shorts into his bag and tried to think about the last outing he took. A flash came across his face – he remembered going rock climbing with Trip. He smiled -- rock climbing. He screwed up his face; this was right before a bounty hunter kidnapped him, threatening to deliver him to the Klingon home world. He frowned.

This time he would enjoy the creature comforts and try to rest more. He had a couple of good books lined up, including one for his book club. He picked up the book and smirked – Pride and Prejudice. This had been one that Hoshi had chosen. While he liked the idea of a mixed-gender book club with others who liked the feel of old paper between fingertips, he hated the idea of reading a bunch of stuffy angst-ridden 19th and 20th century novels. It seemed they would take forever before getting to his book – Neuromancer, by William Gibson.

He went through a mental checklist of what he wanted to do, which was pre-empted by a mental checklist of everything he couldn't do as the captain, even on vacation.

He couldn't get drunk. Someone would notice and it might affect the way they saw him. He thought about one of his commanders, Larry Tansin, when he was running ships around Jupiter as a pilot. His commander had a party at his house, got drunk and hit on almost all of the women Jon worked with. After that night he was known around the company as Lecherous Larry. Archer winced: no heavy drinking around the crew.

He couldn't get into a fight. The last fight he got into, which he also started, was with a fellow pilot – Robinson. Just for brawling alone, he could've received about two week's suspension. Forrest was lenient; he'd received only a few days, but nothing serious. Now, he'd be setting a bad example for his crew. He nodded: no fighting. He smiled thinking not fighting wouldn't be too much of a problem.

He certainly couldn't gamble. Like fighting, gambling was against regulations. Archer shook his head and agreed he wasn't much of a gambler anyway. As a lieutenant, he lost 300 dollars in three minutes; Archer was sure this was a record somewhere.

And romance. He sighed. Out of all the things he absolutely couldn't do, this is what he wanted to do most. He couldn't fraternize with the crew. Even if he had an affair with a woman on the planet, Phlox would need to test him for possible diseases. No doubt this kinda stuff would get back to the crew. He shook his head; he didn't want to enter a romance with a woman on the planet anyway.

Even as he thought this, he seemed to realize this idea had been percolating for some time. He had already admitted to himself long ago he was attracted to T'Pol. It was only recently he'd come to realize he may have deeper feelings for her. May. May? Who was he kidding? He was nutso over his sexy first officer. Well, if sex was out of the question, sex with his first officer definitely was. He struck it out completely – no romance, sex or a lurid affair. Too bad.

As he tossed a pair of socks into his bag, he reminded himself of all the things he was looking forward to: reading, resting and … maybe a massage or a dip in the hot tub at the resort. As he tossed in his swim trunks, the door beeped. He knew it couldn't be Trip; he was already on the planet getting drunk, having a lurid romance, gambling and possibly starting a fight. Archer groaned and sauntered over, sliding open the door.

"Good evening, Captain," said T'Pol.

"Hello," he responded. Speak of the devil.

T'Pol's brow furrowed ever so slightly, and her lower lip protruded by millimeters. He looked at her with confusion.

"What's wrong?" he asked. Did she look … depressed?

"I must ask you to sign the duty roster," she said.

"I just signed it about two hours ago," said Archer.

"Dr. Phlox gave me a medical order. He asked me to travel to the planet and … rest."

Archer scratched his head, trying to figure out what the problem was.

She spoke up, "I explained to Phlox I did not require it, but he insisted."

"Well, it's not a death sentence. Who knows, you might have a good time."

"The last shuttle leaves in fifteen minutes, and I have no plans," she said.

"You can improvise, can't you?" he asked.

Her eyebrow peaked in annoyance. "I would prefer to stay aboard the Enterprise."

He retorted, "If Phlox makes a recommendation about a crew member, I'm apt to follow it. Besides, I think it's a good idea that you take a vacation. God knows you've earned it."

She implored him with her eyes to stay. She wanted to rest in her cabin. Having 90 of the crew gone, drinking themselves into oblivion, carousing, having sex and coming to blows seemed like someone else's problem; she knew that by being on the planet these human frailties may become her problem. She folded her hands behind her back and straightened her spine. Nope, she wanted to stay on Enterprise.

Archer glowered and thought that if there was anyone who needed a break – someone who needed to loosen up -- it was her. He glanced over the duty roster and noticed Reed, of course, had volunteered extra time on the bridge.

He disagreed, "No, T'Pol. I'm giving you an order to go on vacation. Get your bags packed by 1500 hours," he said.

Irritation tickled her stomach. "Captain, I have no plans …," she protested.

He grinned, "Well, I'm going to a very quiet resort on the south side of the planet and am taking a few books. Phlox recommended it. Wanna join me?"

She studied him with bewilderment. "As I have fifteen minutes to prepare and no where to go, I see I have no alternative."

She turned defiantly and strolled out the door. He was amused and annoyed that he had to force his first officer to take a break. Trip practically ran to the shuttle, pushing other crewmen out of the way. Hoshi, when she realized she was taking a needed shore leave, nearly skipped down the hall. T'Pol was the only crewmen on board who actually pouted when forced to take a leave of absence. Vulcans!

Archer zipped his bag and hurled it on his shoulder. He saw his uniform wadded on the bed and let a smile trickle onto his lips. He looked at Porthos who was whining. "You'll need to keep Lt. Reed company. Someone needs to remind the lieutenant to take it easy," argued Jon.

Porthos, sensing the boredom he was in for, placed a paw over his head and slunk to the floor. Archer nabbed his head and felt tempted to kiss the animal, but decided a friendly rub behind the ears would generate the love he felt toward his four-legged friend.

With that, Jon turned around and left.

---

T'Pol showed up to the docking bay in her uniform and stared at Archer's casual appearance; he'd donned a white shirt and jeans.

He gave her the same inspection. "You're going on vacation in your uniform?" he queried, perplexed.

She cocked her eyebrow. "I was only permitted fifteen minutes."

She had a way of getting under his skin. Sure, she looked great in her uniform, the lucky piece of fabric clinging to all the right curves. Skepticism furrowed into his forehead.

"Do you have any bags I can toss into the shuttle?" he asked.

Ignoring him, she loaded them without a single word and reluctantly boarded the shuttle. He sighed; she was going to make his life hell for suggesting she relax. Typical.

After all the luggage was crammed in, everyone filed aboard. The shuttle launched and starting heading toward a beautiful blue and green planet. Archer looked out the window and smiled, his hand gripping the edges. God, it'd felt like years since he'd been away from trouble and concerns.

If Vulcans could sulk, T'Pol would be the master. Her lip was drawn teasingly down and she managed to sigh three times in the first five minutes on board. His eyes focused on her. She was staring at Enterprise, gazing out toward it, rather than the planet.

In sharp contrast, all the other crewmen seemed jovial and excited. Mayweather laughed with a few others, talking about his rock climbing plans. Archer had noticed he was beaming at a young ensign with dark red hair. As she twirled her fingers in her locks eyeing him, Jon poked his nose into Pride and Prejudice, hoping not to think about romance … well, except Miss Bennett and Mr. Darcy.

After twenty minutes, the shuttle touched down and all the crewmen rushed out … that is except T'Pol. She sat quietly in her seat until everyone had left. Archer had his hand on his hip waiting for her outside and finally had to come in after her. Mayweather and the other crewmen stepped into a flying vehicle that was taking them to the mountains. Travis looked back at Archer and grinned.

"See ya back on the ship in a couple of days," he said smiling, waving emphatically.

Archer signaled goodbye to Travis and his crew as they drifted off toward the mountains. As their visage began to disappear, he noted that Travis sneaked his arm around the young red-haired girl and leaned in to kiss her. As their lips touched, Archer sighed.

T'Pol strolled out of the shuttle at a casual pace.

"Would you stop sulking?" asked Archer, beginning to get angry.

T'Pol inclined her head and said almost incredulously, "Vulcans do not sulk, Captain."

"Well, you sure as Hell are." His face reddened. "I don't care if you don't want to get away from your ship duties; I do. Don't ruin this for me because Phlox gave you a medical order that I agreed with." He panted with frustration, stalking off toward the planet's railway system.

As Archer huffed his way to a platform, he took in the beauty of the M-133; the planet was stunning. It was lushly green and the temperature hovered at 27 degrees Celsius reminding him of San Francisco in early summer or late spring. He inhaled deeply – even for a busy transportation system the area smelled clean. His brain began to quiet until he noticed the pointy-eared woman staring at him with near annoyance. It was T'Pol.

"Well, are you coming?" he asked. He looked at his PADD and stepped into the railcar in front of him, taking a seat.

She followed him. "Captain, when we reach the resort, I think it best to discontinue being in your company. It obviously disturbs you."

He nodded distractedly as she sat next to him. He began, "We should be there in about an hour. I called ahead for you and got a room. They asked me about dinner, so I ordered a vegetarian meal. You can eat by yourself or with me, whichever you prefer." His eyes locked with hers, as he dared, "But, if you're eating with me, I want you to pretend you're having a good time and call me by my first name."

She furrowed her brow. "What do people do at resorts, Captain … Jonathan?"

"Read books, eat, sleep – that kind of stuff," he said. He looked at her with a mischievous smile. "Women have facials, pedicures and maybe have their hair done. That interest you?"

She gave a near frown, "No. I do not wish to have any of these things," she replied.

He chuckled to himself getting a rise out of her and checked his PADD. "They also have yoga and meditation classes."

With contentment, she said, "That sounds more … enjoyable." She decided to resign herself to the fact she was there and tried to be pleasant. "What are your plans once we reach the resort?"

"I brought a few books to read. I plan to take a hike, get a massage and get up late every single day," he said grinning.

"Is there a purpose to waking up late?" she asked.

"Nope. None whatsoever," he said. "I'm not much of a morning person, even after years in Starfleet."

The railcar began moving quickly away from the station, as Archer and T'Pol continued to chat.

---

As the railcar reached the resort, Archer stared in wonder. A stone and wood constructed lodge hovered in the distance, surrounded by trees. Built like something out of Earth's 20th century, the beams looked old and worn. The Mountains loomed nearby casting a shadow onto the lodge itself. If Archer had to liken it to anything, it reminded him of a trip he made as a child to a lodge near Portland, Oregon – Timberline Lodge.

T'Pol had never seen a structure like this – old, rustic and obviously broken down, she wondered about Archer's choice of vacation spots and Phlox's recommendations.

Archer swung his arm toward a lever and forced it down, slowing the railcar to a stop.

"This is us," he mentioned.

He grabbed his and T'Pol's bags and plodded out the door. T'Pol followed in tow, mesmerized by the scenery. A bellman welcomed them at the station.

"Welcome to Rangora," he said. "I trust you are staying at the hotel?" he asked.

Archer nodded and handed his bags over.

"Excellent," said the bellman as two others joined him.

They walked into the lobby and Archer turned to the desk clerk. "I have two rooms," he said.

As they discussed the rooms and the price, T'Pol began to wander around. There was a fire blazing in the lobby. The smoke was somewhat stifling her eyes, but she enjoyed the aroma.

Archer came back with two keys. "Here ya go, room 22. It has a view of the river. I'll walk with you – I'm in 23 across the hall."

"What about our luggage?" she asked.

"They bring it to the room," he said.

"Interesting." She paused. "What do I do now to begin my vacation?" she asked.

He laughed softly. "Well, you may want to go back to your room, relax for a few moments and change," he said. "I made a dinner reservation for us at 1800 hours."

She pondered the idea. "That sounds acceptable.

Glad he could oblige, he said, "Good." He handed her the key to her room and began to head up the stairs.

T'Pol leaned in while they were walking. "Is it customary to change before dinner?" she asked.

"It depends. I just thought you'd be more comfortable out of uniform." Out of her uniform? Boy, that was a Freudian slip.

She put her hands behind her back as they rounded the hall to their rooms.

Archer opened his door and turned around, motioning she do the same. She nodded and began to open the portal.

Seeing her mimic his movements, he stepped in. The room was large, but still had a cozy feeling to it. It was filled with wooden furniture, as well as many modern amenities including a computer. He walked toward it and hit a few buttons that began playing soft electronic music. It seemed native to the planet and included instruments he'd never heard before.

He stared out the window, reveling in the view -- mountains towered in the background forming white peaks. Since he was a kid, he'd loved the mountains, preferring it to the sea. He turned back around and began a fire in the fireplace, heaving a satisfying sigh.

I'm on vacation.

A knock on the door signaled that his bags had arrived. He let in the porter, provided some local currency and situated his luggage. He cracked open a bottle on a table with a "Welcome to Rangora" note scribbled on it. As he poured the liquid, he leaned over and smelled the flowers hovering near the bottle.

He took his glass and sipped. It tasted something like Earth wine, but was richer and seemed to have a stronger kick. He raised his eyebrows thinking he'd have to take it easy on that stuff. He licked his lips and closed his eyes.

Carefully setting the glass on his bedside table, he flopped onto his bed. He placed his hands behind his back and thought, 'This is the life.'

T'Pol entered her room and saw it was filled with crude furniture made by hand. She did not know when her bags would arrive, but was beginning to become concerned. She decided to explore the room. The bathroom was marble and large, much bigger than one person would need. 'Inefficient,' she thought.

She didn't see a shower stall; instead, she saw a claw-foot tub. Her lip formed into a ghost of a frown. Although she had taken baths, she thought the idea of soaking in dirty water was unsanitary and illogical.

She strolled back into the main room and saw a large bottle on the table. She noticed the shabby handwriting and opened the bottle. Her nose gave away the beverage was alcoholic before she could even taste it. She set it down, attempting to fathom why they did not instead serve water.

Her eyes drifted out the window. The view was pleasant, but she would've preferred a mountain view. There was a knock at her door. Gliding over, she creaked open the door to reveal a young man. He handed her the small bag she'd packed and waited for a moment. T'Pol was unsure what to do said, "Thank you," and closed the door.

She turned back into her room and wondered how she would pass the time. She still had thirty minutes until dinner.

"Meditation," she answered, hoping it would help her feel more resigned to this trip. Besides, engaging in this activity would leave her approximately ten minutes to change, since that is what the captain seemed to be requesting.

---

Archer was downstairs waiting at the bar. He was wearing a white shirt, with the top-button undone and khaki pants. He took another drink of the concoction that the bartender had given him and tensed up his face; these people knew how to drink. What Jon really wanted was a martini, extra dry. What he ordered sounded close enough, but was a sweet mixed drink that sat in his stomach like lighter fluid. He thought this beverage was even more potent than the stuff in his room.

'Potent? Huh, maybe it's not all bad, then,' he thought to himself.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his first officer. She was wearing a black silk gown with a shawl, looking very un-Vulcan. He had never seen her in anything like it; it pleased him. She looked beautiful.

"You decided to change," he said smugly.

"It seemed it was a request, Ca … Jonathan," she said.

He winked.

"Is there something wrong with your eye?" she asked. "It seems to have spasmed."

Puzzlement gathered at his brow. "No, it's called a wink."

"Ah, yes, a wink." She looked up at him. "What does a wink signify?"

"A private joke, teasing or playful behavior," he said.

"I see."

Archer wasn't sure if her comment about seeing, and the fact they were talking about eyes was an intentional pun or not. Either way, he found it amusing and laughed softly. He put his arm in front of his body, indicating she should go first, as they made their way to dinner.

"So, how's your room?" he asked.

"Adequate," she responded as the waiter delivered their pre-ordered food. T'Pol looked on silently commending his choices for her.

His head jerked back slightly. "Adequate? Well, not a ringing endorsement, but I guess that means it's okay. Well, I think they're great. It reminds me of a lodge I stayed in as a kid," he said.

"The one at Yosemite?" she asked.

He looked surprised, "No." He paused. "How did you know I'd been to the one in Yosemite?"

"I remember you mentioning it before."

He continued with surprise, "No, this reminds me of Timberline Lodge near Portland, Oregon."

"Ah, I have never heard you mention that one before."

He cut into his stead-like meal and ate heartily. "Built in the early 1900s."

"What is similar?" she asked.

He began slowly, "Its location – it looks out onto some gorgeous waterfalls. The hand-carved furniture, smell of the fireplace …." He looked up at her. "Do Vulcans stay at … hotels?"

"Certainly, when we make trips to visit relatives."

"But, you said Vulcans don't take vacations," he said merrily. His waiter brought a glass of something that looked like wine. He sipped it and smiled.

"That is correct. We do not take vacations; however, we do travel to study the scenery, the plant life, the animal life or some other aspect."

Archer pointed his fork in her direction. "We call that a vacation."

"You are not viewing the scenery, plant life or animal life," she said.

He furrowed his eyebrows. "Okay, so we occasionally enjoy doing nothing." He went back to eating. "Would you rather be studying something while visiting here?" he asked.

"I believe I will have time for that, Ca … Jonathan."

Despite how the trip began, Archer actually enjoyed his dinner with T'Pol. They walked into the lobby and talked more as the fireplace roared. He stretched his arms above his head and yawned. He looked at the nearest clock and was stunned.

He gasped, "I can't believe I've been talking with you for about three hours."

"I also did not realize the time had passed so quickly," she said.

He didn't want the night to end, but was really looking forward to using the hot tub in the back. He thought the weather was just cold enough to make the experience really enjoyable.

"I'm going to check out the spa in the back," he said.

She looked up and arched a thin eyebrow. There was an awkward moment of silence between them.

"You wanna come?" he added.

"What is this spa?" she asked.

"It's a pool of hot water that you sit in."

"Sounds unsanitary. Then what happens?" she asked.

He grinned, "That's about it. I was thinking of bringing my book with me." He paused. "You can think of this as studying human relaxation."

His argument was logical. She was still unsure what was so exciting about "vacations;" perhaps this would give her first-hand experience.

"I will accompany you," she stated.

Jon rubbed the back of his neck. "Do you have a bathing suit?" he asked.

She looked confused. He explained, "We cover our bodies with material that is appropriate for the water."

"No, I do not have a bathing suit," she said.

He smiled. "Don't sweat it, I bet the hotel can either lend you one, or we can buy one for you."

He walked over to the receptionist and began talking, pointing at T'Pol. The receptionist nodded. Archer made a motion waving the Vulcan over. She raised her eyebrow and strolled over to the receptionist, who handed her a very small suit. T'Pol looked at it thinking it would not adequately cover her.

She looked at Archer.

"Do you think it'll fit?" he asked.

"Unknown," she responded.

"Well, if it doesn't, you can ask for another size. Wanna meet me out there?" he asked.

She nodded. "Agreed."

He instructed, "You may want to wear a robe out there; it's a little chilly."

She nodded and he walked upstairs with a spring in his step.

---

Archer melted into the hot tub, resting his head against the side with his eyes closed. His arms lazily draped the sides of it and the steam rolling off the water was making his hair wet. Two glasses were located at his side – one full of the alcohol from his room, the other empty.

He heard movement and looked up. T'Pol was standing beside the tub, coyly grabbing at her robe.

"Hey there, I was beginning to wonder if you'd show."

She looked uncomfortable. "I was told this fit, but I do not think it covers my body properly."

"Do you want me to avert my eyes … or …errrr?" he asked, feeling weird about the situation.

"Perhaps you can tell me whether this is acceptable," she said.

Before he could object, she let her robe slide to the ground. It was a black swimsuit that showed off a tiny bit of cleavage and seemed to accentuate her long legs and graceful shoulders. He smiled.

"That looks acceptable to me," he said. He thought of his commander lecherous Larry and put his head against the side again and closed his eyes.

She stepped in and studied the captain. His face was peaceful and his breath was even. For some reason, he seemed almost to be meditating; perhaps humans practiced this while sitting in water. She hadn't heard of this custom, but then again, she'd never heard of hot tubs either.

Her ears perked up. With her excellent auditory skills, she overheard a couple talking quietly in the Jacuzzi next to them. Their conversation seemed intimate but she couldn't make out what they were saying. The steam was thick, and she was unable to see them clearly either. She waded over and sat by Archer, forcing him to move his arms.

As he kept his eyes shut, she asked, "What do I do now?"

Archer lifted his head and reached for his glass. "I know you don't usually drink, but would you like a glass?"

"Is it part of the experience for humans to relax?" she asked.

"I think so," he said.

She acquiesced. He eagerly poured her a glass and handed it to her.

He stretched his legs out, touching one of hers accidentally. The hairs of his leg tickled her smooth skin. She looked concerned and he drew it back quickly. "Sorry," he said.

She sipped the wine and noted how potent it was. "And now?" she asked.

"This is pretty much the experience, T'Pol."

"The steam makes it difficult to see," she said.

"Would you like me to lower the temperature?" he asked.

She shook her head. "No, I prefer it to be this warm, if not hotter."

Archer raised his eyebrows. "I can kick up the temperature a bit." He leaned out and fiddled with the dial. He put his head against the side again, but submerged his chest deeper, slouching.

She tried to mimic Archer's body position. He grinned.

"Do many people enter only one container?" she asked.

He shook his head. "No, usually smaller numbers."

"Why?"

He scratched his head, "I don't know. Makes it seem more cozy and intimate."

She straightened. "Is this practice intimate?"

"Well, it can be, but friends also do this," he said. She seemed to settle back at hearing this. He continued, "I didn't mean intimate in the … ahhh … well you know."

"I apologize, Jonathan. I know you would not be improper."

"That's okay," he said. He took another sip of wine. He noticed he was feeling a little light headed.

T'Pol began to move her neck from side-to-side.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I have a small pain in my neck. I am certain I developed this in my martial arts lesson with Lt. Reed yesterday," she said.

He put down his glass, sat up and waved her over to him. "Come here," he said.

She scooted next to him. "Face the other way," he said.

She did as she was told when suddenly his hand began massaging her neck gently, rubbing the skin. It felt good and indeed began to alleviate her pain. But, she did not realize he would touch her and was unprepared. His emotions felt tipsy, but serene, almost lazy. He thought she had a beautiful neck. She moved away.

"What were you doing?" she asked.

"I was rubbing your neck for you, hoping to get rid of the kink," he said. He backed up, "Did I do something wrong?"

She furrowed her eyebrows. "Vulcans do not like to be touched."

He thought to himself, 'Of course.' What in the world made him do that? He thought of lecherous Larry. "God, I'm sorry. I just forgot, T'Pol," he said. "I didn't mean anything untoward."

She took another sip of wine. He was surprised she didn't just decide to leave. "Of course you did not," she said.

"Why don't Vulcans like to touch?" he asked.

"We are touch telepaths," she explained. "I did not mean to startle you when I backed away. I could sense your feelings which was … unsettling."

His eyes opened wide. "You could read my thoughts?"

"I was able to shield them from me, but yes, I was able to distinguish some of your thoughts," she said.

What was he thinking? "I'm sorry, I …."

"No need to apologize," she said.

He didn't want to leave, but he felt uncomfortable. There was an awkward silence.

"I do not mind being touched by you," she said unexpectedly. "It was that I was unable to shield myself right away. Perhaps next time you can warn me."

He looked at her and wondered if that was an invitation. "Would you like me to continue rubbing your neck?" he asked.

"Yes," she said and scooted back toward him.

He took a deep breath. "Let me know when you're ready."

She nodded and he began to massage her neck again. His hands were strong and large, but moved about her neck and shoulders gently.

"Is this another relaxation method?" she asked, closing her eyes. She could feel his breath on her exposed shoulders.

"Yes," he responded. He was clearly feeling more and more light-headed. He moved his hands into small circles from her hairline to where her neck met her shoulders. He touched her shoulders slightly and began the same movement.

"Is this also intimate?" she asked.

"It can be," he said. "But, friends also do this."

"Have you administered this to Commander Tucker?" she asked.

He started to laugh. He cringed thinking of rubbing Trip's back. "No," he said. He continued, "You can also pay for someone to do this for you."

His hands made their way up to her neck again, seeming to pinpoint the area of her discomfort. She gasped. Archer backed away, "You okay?" His heart was pounding as if he'd done something wrong.

Lecherous Larry, he thought.

"I think you have successfully located the pain point."

He blew a comforted breath. He was wary to touch that area again, but decided to throw caution to the wind. She again gasped, followed by something of a purring noise. Hearing her coo at his touch was thrilling. He rubbed slightly harder as she bit her lower lip. They were quiet as he worked this area for almost five minutes. He gently removed his hand.

"There," he said. He picked up his glass and took another sip of wine.

She was lulled into a hypnotic state. When his hand fell away, she became aware of how wonderful it felt. She tried shaking herself out of the daze.

"Thank you," she hoarsely whispered.

He winked. His eyes were twinkling.

She tried to settle herself and asked, "Are you paying someone to do this for you?"

"Yup," he said.

"I could perform this on you," she offered.

Archer raised his eyebrows. "Uhm, what I'm paying for involves more than just my neck," he said.

She seemed confused.

"I'm having a full body massage," he explained, anxiously.

Her eyes went wide.

He laughed, "You know – my face, back, neck, arms and legs."

"I could perform this technique on your shoulders and neck, if you would permit it?" she asked.

He was stunned. Archer grabbed his wine and threw the rest back. "All right," he said nervously.

T'Pol also took a drink. She cautiously placed her hands on his bare shoulders. They felt broad and muscular. "Like this?" she said.

"Yeah," he said. He realized he was not just feeling tipsy; he was feeling on the verge of being drunk. Her hands were strong for such a petite woman. He felt like he was beginning to liquefy under them. He moaned softly, causing the hairs on T'Pol's arms to stand on edge.

After a few moments, T'Pol began to hear noises coming from another container, this time they were louder. She thought she could distinguish figures, as the steam was beginning to die down. In fact, she could see fairly clearly a man and a woman embracing in the next tub. T'Pol attempted to look away.

As if at the same time, Archer saw the two figures. Archer squinted thinking the figures were now doing a little more than just kissing. He wasn't sure what T'Pol was thinking, but was afraid to ask. 'Maybe she hasn't seen this,' he thought. He didn't want to interrupt her; her hands kneading his shoulders felt so comforting … and he'd hate to embarrass himself by bringing attention to the movements next door. 'Best to just ignore it,' he thought watching what they were doing with interest. He tried to shake off thoughts of Larry.

T'Pol was surprised that Archer hadn't seen the activities of the couple become more heated. 'He surely would have said something if he had,' she thought. It was difficult to believe that these people would do something so intimate in public.

The male, who was engrossed in the attention of his mate, suddenly looked at them, as if he knew he was being watched. Archer jerked back suddenly, while the act of being discovered caused T'Pol to lose her balance. As she fell into the water, Archer caught her, preventing her from hitting her head. Her hand grabbed his thigh as she steadied herself. She was resting in his arms, looking into his eyes.

This unexpected touching caused her to accept a wave of emotions Archer was emitting. He felt arousal, passion, guilt and friendship all together. He held her for a moment and gave a lopsided grin.

"Thank you," she whispered.

Archer released her cradled body. He took a deep breath. "T'Pol, I'm sorry …." He couldn't look her in the eyes. He coughed.

"You should not apologize," she said. "I insisted on touching your shoulders, even though I knew it made you nervous."

She knew it would make him uncomfortable? "Why did you, then?" he asked.

"I believed you would enjoy it," she said. "As I took … pleasure ... in your touch to my neck. The experience was enthralling."

Archer bit the inside of his cheek – his body began to tingle. "Well, I'd better get to bed," he said.

"Was this relaxing for you? I have found that I am more unsettled than when I entered this container."

He nodded, "Me, too. It's not usually like this." He didn't want to discuss this any more. He just wanted to get the Hell out of there.

He pushed himself up and out of the water. His dark green trunks hugged his well-built frame. T'Pol watched as he dried himself off. He looked back at her, studying him.

She wrapped her hands around the rim and pulled herself out easily. He offered her a robe, draping it around her shoulders.

"Jonathan, there has been a thought tonight you have repeated, which does not make sense to me," she whispered.

"Oh?" he asked, trying to get used to the idea she knew what he was thinking.

"Lecherous Larry," she said.

He coughed again. How would he explain this one? "He was a commander of mine who … made advances … on some of the women in my unit."

"Why have you been thinking of this commander?" she asked, gliding her arms through the robe.

He slipped the cotton material onto her, grabbed the empty bottle of wine and the two glasses. T'Pol bent over and picked up his book.

"As the captain, I'm expected to conduct myself with decorum. I haven't exactly met those standards tonight."

"How so?"

He threw his head back and let a deep breath escape his lips. He stared into her olive eyes, not wanting to answer that question. "I think you know why."

She looked at the book he was reading and arched an eyebrow. "I never mentioned why Dr. Phlox wanted me to take a vacation."

Archer squinted at her, trudging toward the lodge. "That's okay, I don't need to know."

She took his arm. "He was concerned about my emotional state. Pa'nar syndrome has been affecting me more than I realized."

With puzzlement, he claimed, "I didn't know."

"I have found my emotions troubling and difficult to control," she said. "Especially those regarding you."

He was afraid to take the conversation any further. They gazed at each other for a moment.

"What did the doctor recommend you do about it?" he whispered.

"I believe his exact words were to 'work it out,'" she said.

"He knew that you'd be coming with me to the resort?" he asked.

"No, I believe the doctor meant that I should … reflect on it," she said. "I believed accompanying you might assist me in sorting through these feelings. In addition, I was given no time to plan."

"Have you worked out these feelings?" he asked.

"Not completely," she indicated.

"What do we do now?" he asked.

"I am uncertain," she said. "With these feelings, what would someone who was on a holiday do at this point?"

He grimaced to himself, thinking, 'Take the other to bed.' He licked his lips and worried over the right course of action. "Maybe the right thing to do is say goodnight," he whispered, hoping she'd argue with him.

"Then until tomorrow?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said, taking her elbow into the lodge. The two had steam coming off their bodies, as they heard the couple in the hot tub next to them begin another passionate embrace. Archer groaned to himself, wondering how he'd be able to last – feeling at ease and a little drunk. He quickened his pace to the hotel, wanting to seclude himself back in his room.

Unlike Archer, T'Pol found the sound distracting. She stared up toward Jonathan's face, wondering if he heard them too. Instead of seeing recognition, he purposefully gazed ahead.

"Do you not hear that?" she finally asked, trying to determine just how badly humans were able to hear sound. Even at the door of the hotel, she could hear their impassioned cries.

He reluctantly mumbled, "Yes."

When Archer managed to have the courage to notice her, he saw her face was riddled with confusion.

"They're having sex," he whispered, embarrassed he had to explain this to his naïve first officer. Wait … science officer.

"Of course, but are all species that … loud?" she asked, as the door swung open.

Loud? Archer ducked his head into his hand, deciding to treat it like a rhetorical question. But, something about having it brought up, made him shudder. God, after all, he was only human. His body was starting to feel the twinges of passion as he forced his libido into check.

She could almost smell his body's reaction and shot a single eyebrow into the air. As they made their way into the elevator, T'Pol watched him look everywhere, but at her.

"Would you care to discuss tomorrow's plans in my room?" she offered.

His teeth grinded, figuring out whether he should permit himself this one luxury. As thoughts of Larry, getting his friend Rachel drunk and in the mood lit up his brain, he decided to head for his door.

"Maybe we can meet up tomorrow morning."

Something like disappointment worked itself into her eyes and she agreed. "It is late."

As they walked toward the two rooms, Archer scooted in hurriedly, mumbling, "I had a nice time tonight, T'Pol."

"As did I, Jonathan," she whispered.

The two headed into their individual rooms, one deciding to begin deep meditation, and the other figuring out whether it was worth it to keep reading about the Bennett family.

---

The next morning, Archer jogged down the stairs and saw T'Pol eating breakfast in the lodge dining room on the first floor. He grinned and slipped into a seat.

"Mind if I join you?" he asked.

"Of course not," she remarked, her fork jabbing a piece of fruit. She noticed he was dressed more casually than she had seen – shirt unbuttoned a few notches, sandals and blue jeans. He also looked handsome she noted, as she sucked on her fruit.

He looked down at his PADD, calling up activities. "They have a yoga class in one hour, if you're interested."

"I have already attended the sunrise yoga class and the meditation class afterward. I thought, perhaps, I would … accompany you."

"Well, actually, I have a massage scheduled in about an hour," he warned. "After that, I planned to read outside on the balcony. But, you might like this guided tour of the city."

"Perhaps I will have a massage."

Jon's face plummeted. "Are you sure? I mean, I guess you can come, if you want to …."

"Of course."

He sighed, "But, I don't know if they'll be able to fit you in."

"I will go check," she said, as she excused herself and went to determine if an appointment was available at the same time as Jonathan's.

Archer had a bad feeling about this. He wasn't sure what it was, but something was nagging at him. From his table, he saw T'Pol make the necessary arrangements. She strolled back over, confidently, indicating, "I will see you in an hour."

Archer, defeated, went back to breakfast. So what if T'Pol was coming? She wouldn't ruin his time or this massage. In fact, he was really enjoying her company. A-ha! That was the problem; he liked her company just a bit too much. In fact, just knowing she'd be there receiving a massage made him a little nervous.

He finished his breakfast, changed into only a robe as were part of the instructions and marched down the hall feeling a tad exposed. He met T'Pol nearing the stairwell. She was also in a white cotton robe … and most likely nothing else.

T'Pol seemed particularly serene, striding down the hallway with him. As they entered the spa facility, he realized what a huge mistake it was for her to be there with him. Everyone was walking around in the nude or with a flimsy towel wrapped around their middle … even the women. His chin dropped as he wandered toward the desk, sheepishly keeping his eyes ahead.

"I have a reservation," he whispered.

"Of course, you and your girlfriend can enter the first room on the left," the desk clerk said, staring at her console.

Archer narrowed his eyes and said, "Actually, she's not my girlfriend."

She leaned in to confide in him, "Listen, it doesn't matter to me. Enter the first door on the left."

Jon got the impression the girl wasn't convinced, but decided to give up and walked into the first room as instructed. Unfortunately, T'Pol was making him more anxious by "investigating" the disrobed bodies littering the hallway.

"This society seems freer with their bodies," she claimed.

No shit. As he took his first step into the room, he realized it wasn't just a big fat mistake he'd made, but one of giant-sized proportions. He scanned the room and saw groups of nude men and women, mixed, in a large pool waiting for their reservation.

A woman near the door said sweetly, "Welcome. I'll take your robes for you. Please have a seat in our pool until your name is called. It shouldn't take very long, and we'll be happy to provide you beverages while you wait."

T'Pol raised her eyebrow at Archer, as he took a deep swallow trying to figure out what to do. As he was about to suggest they go back to the room, she shimmied out of her robe and handed it to the woman. Nonchalantly, she strolled into the pool and turned toward the captain. Jon was stunned.

The woman at the door prompted, "If you're embarrassed, you can change in another room."

T'Pol leveled her eyes at him, almost daringly. He furrowed his brow, put a hurried hand through his hair and decided to go for broke. After taking a deep breath, he self-assuredly slipped out of the garment, placing his hands precariously in front of him. Then he waded into the water, to sit next to T'Pol as she stared on.

When he sat down, he noticed how crystal clear the water was. He could see his toes wiggling at him and set his hands helplessly in his lap. His eyes drifted around the room looking for something to focus on that didn't redden his face. Under normal circumstances, he wouldn't have cared, but now it was difficult to stymie his libido.

A woman in a medical gown and a friendly smile wandered over suggesting drink options. Archer knew it was much earlier than he ever drank, but needed something to help him relax … quickly.

"Andorian ale," he said, feeling T'Pol's eyebrow admonish him.

T'Pol, whose torso was not covered by the clear water looked at Archer. "You seem to be nervous. Is this not typically what happens."

Archer turned his head to look away from her. "Not really. Men and women don't typically do this together."

T'Pol gazed across the room wondering what he was staring at. "So this was surprising to you?"

"Oh yeah," he agreed.

"If you are concerned about me, I have seen human males before. As part of my science accreditation at the Vulcan Academy, I took human anatomy. In fact, I excelled at it. You should not feel uncomfortable."

Swell. He'd never seen a naked Vulcan before. He desperately wanted to see her in all her glory (and he was sure it was glory), but was too jumpy to actually look. He glued his eyes to a spot on the wall at the other end of the room.

"Jonathan, we have been nearly naked many times before. I have seen you in your undergarments in Decon on numerous occasions."

Under normal circumstances, he would've laughed, but right now, he was too concerned about impropriety to move. "I know," he admitted.

"How is this different? Is there something you possess which other men of your species do not have? From what I have seen your physique looks remarkably text book."

That got his attention. He moved his head to look into her eyes. "Listen, humans are very sensitive about their bodies. It's not like we parade them around."

"I always understood human males to be less concerned about their forms. In fact, when I took human psychology, they explained males are proud of their physiques."

He whispered, "T'Pol, you're an officer under my command. It embarrasses the Hell outta me that you've just seen me naked … and are comparing me to other naked humans you've seen."

"I did not compare," she offered.

"And, given our discussion last night, it just seems … well … inappropriate," he concluded with a frown.

"Archer party of two," indicated a woman in a white medical looking gown.

"There's got to be some mistake, she's not with me," said Archer.

The woman nodded, "It's okay. Come on."

T'Pol again got up instantly and sauntered toward the door. This time, Archer couldn't help but get a good long look at her. And, despite himself, he allowed his eyes to linger on her backside. It was gorgeous; her long legs seemed to curve perfectly into it.

'Jon,' he thought to himself. 'She's your officer.' Another voice deeper within him chided, 'Yeah, an officer with a nice ass.'

He smirked and rose from the tub, trailing water across the room. As he walked toward the door, he felt a little proud; one of the staff women seemed to be checking him out. His walk turned into a strut as he entered the facility.

Two beds were placed fairly close together as two older ladies filed out in medical gowns.

"On the bed," said the larger one to Archer. He noticed T'Pol made it over to a massage table and was already stretched out over it.

Archer tiptoed over to the massage table and lay down gingerly on his stomach. Immediately, he felt the woman's warm fingers dance along his shoulders, back and neck. The movements began to lull him into a state of relaxation, and his eyes crinkled shut. The rhythmic touching felt wonderful and he was on the verge of falling asleep, when the woman made a comment in her native tongue, causing the other woman to chuckle softly. Archer furrowed his brow; he hated not knowing what they were saying mostly because he was paranoid they were talking about him.

T'Pol intervened and said something in their same language. The two ladies laughed harder and continued about their business.

"What did you say?" asked Archer, his voice louder than anticipated, echoing in the room.

His masseuse shushed him right away, and worked her fingers over his legs and buttocks. Again Archer felt his mind drift off as the woman kneaded his hamstring and whispered something. The other woman tittered with amusement as he shifted on the table uneasily.

"No need to feel sensitive," she said. "Just relax. We won't talk about you anymore."

'Oh super. They were talking about me,' he said to himself, confirming this relaxing visit had turned into a complete humiliation for him. Luckily the Andorian ale was given to him. He leaned onto his forearms carefully and pounded it down his throat, hoping when the liquid reached his stomach, he'd feel better. He figured he couldn't possibly disgrace himself anymore than he had, he might as well roll with the punches.

"Turn over," instructed the masseuse gently.

'To Hell with it,' thought Archer as he flipped over. He closed his eyes and tried not to think of T'Pol in a similar position.

The woman kneading his stomach said something slyly. T'Pol sounded confused, but delivered a sentence that seemed to shut the masseuse up. After another ten minutes, he closed his eyes and fell asleep.

His eyes flung open as T'Pol loomed over him, shaking him gently.

"Our time is up," she declared.

He looked down to find the robe carefully draped over him. He blew a sigh of relief. "Well, I'm ready."

T'Pol turned her head and waited as Archer climbed into his robe and knotted the belt. He worked his way down the corridor and out the door, passing up complimentary champagne. His ego had been bruised beyond belief, and he wanted to crawl into a good book and possibly into a couple or four glasses of wine in his room. As he strode down the hallway, T'Pol eventually caught up with him in a light jog.

"Jonathan, I …."

"You had to insist on going, didn't you?" he snapped.

She backed off. "You invited me."

Not really. Well, kinda. "Listen, I'm just a little tired and … cranky ..."

"Would this have something to do with the lack of sexual stimulant you've had since you took command of Enterprise? I have noticed you are one of the only males onboard who has not …."

"Pardon me?" he asked, wheeling around on her.

"I asked …."

"I heard you. See, this is exactly what I don't want to talk with you about. Me having sex, or not having it, is none of your concern," he growled. "You're just … you're just making things more difficult."

He walked into his room and nearly shut the door when T'Pol intercepted. "I did not mean to harm your dignity or you in any way."

"I know," he threw out. "It's okay. It's not your fault."

Looking slightly dejected for a Vulcan, she turned slowly toward her door, opened it and shut it. He sighed, heading straight for the alcohol and then the balcony. She was ruining his vacation and confusing him. Why couldn't he just have a quiet time at a resort and spa to himself? Even the massage was fraught with tension. He blocked out all noise and thoughts of a green-tinted nude body draped deliciously over a massage table. This was worse than he thought. He stuck his nose into Pride and Prejudice and tried to focus on the book. His thoughts flew to lecherous Larry, and his skin crawled thinking about the man. Jon counted up at least five different women in the span of two years that the commander made a pass at. In a position of power, the man got all of them into bed – every single one. Larry was roughly 55 years of age, 5'7" and 160 pounds with a bright, baldhead. Not exactly someone Archer would call a ladies man.

He thought back on the girls -- some of their hearts were crushed, and some may've been using him back. But, the incidents were completely out of line and distasteful. The man was abusing his position of authority. Clear and simple.

Archer thought about his own conduct. The one thing he promised himself he couldn't do he really wanted to, at least not with T'Pol. He leaned the book on his stomach and thought if she were anyone else, he would've asked her into his room and made passionate, bed shaking love with her … and enjoyed it. A lot. He pondered that idea and decided maybe she was right.

Maybe I need to go out tonight and meet other women, he thought hopelessly as he realized his body was keyed up. It wasn't what he

---

After hanging around the bar downstairs and seeing couple after couple walk by, he decided not a lot of single people visited the resort. In fact, he was beginning to suspect not a single person existed on the entire planet. No wonder they assumed T'Pol and Archer were together during their spa visit. People kept showing up in groups of two or four, but never by themselves.

He sighed. Okay, so he could at least have a nice meal and then head into bed. He mused about the idea of seeing what the staff did, especially the one who was eyeing him earlier, when he felt tiny fingers curl around his shoulder. He swiveled his neck and saw T'Pol dressed in a native get-up – something that looked like a purple sari with a gold and green top. She looked like a peacock with the iridescent colors shimmering in the candlelight. His mouth watered at seeing her; she looked absolutely stunning.

"I see you're getting into the culture," he said, setting his drink carefully down on the bar. "You look nice."

"I ventured into the market today. It was fascinating," she replied.

He smiled and then went pale thinking he'd already had a few drinks. He thought about touching the material of her dress and then shied his hand away – too forward.

"Would you like to have dinner with me?" asked T'Pol.

He smirked, "Uhm, that's okay. I'd kinda like to eat alone tonight." There was no way in Hell he was going to submit either of them to his leering at her all night.

"That is unfortunate," she said, turning toward a table.

He watched her glide across the room and sit by herself in a room full of couples. Something about her seemed … lonely. He watched her look around apprehensively, cradle the menu in her hand and twitch her lips. Yup, she was lonesome.

Archer chomped on an ice cube and sauntered over. "Changed my mind."

Her shoulders seemed to relax and her eyes gleamed. "I am … glad you did."

"I thought Vulcans liked to dine alone."

"Sometimes," she admitted. "However, tonight I was hoping you would join me.'

He swallowed deeply. This was possibly the first time she admitted to wanting his company. He gave her a warm smile in reward for her compliment.

"Well, to the tell you the truth, I'd rather be eating with you, too."

The two carried on talking about her experience at the market and what his book was about while staring at each other over dinner. By the end of the evening, Jon had a few glasses of wine and had noticed he couldn't stop smiling. He was having such a good time – the food was excellent, the music was perfect and her company was divine.

As he nibbled on the last bit of desert, he realized he was getting too comfortable; he nearly offered to feed her a bite of his cake. He set the fork down cautiously and decided he'd better head back to his room.

"I had a terrific time, but … I better get going," he lied. "Want to finish my book."

"I was hoping we could continue more of last night's conversation," she remarked.

That's exactly what he was afraid of. "Maybe tomorrow," he claimed.

"Until then," she said, raising an eyebrow.

He smiled weakly and scooted out of his chair, making a beeline for his room. When he got there all he could do was pace and think about the catastrophe he'd just averted? Larry! He wanted to touch the material of her dress, scoop a utensil into her mouth and …. Well, he made it into his room, and that's what counted. His heart pounded in his chest, threatening to break his ribcage open. He needed to relax! He decided to change into his swim trunks and head down to the Jacuzzi. Maybe a nice soak alone was what he needed.

---

Archer plodded out toward the tub, read his book and watch the stars. He eased himself in and sipped at the alcohol the lodge again provided. It tasted sweet and cascaded down his throat easily. He stretched his body out and rested his head against the rim.

His chest heaved into the night air. This was nice.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the same couple that was there last night, get in again. Archer groaned. 'Oh no,' he thought to himself. He switched positions facing away from them and stared into the night's sky, trying to find a star he recognized with the naked eye.

As he spied what seemed like Orion, he heard something like a robe drop next to him. He looked up as T'Pol slipped into the water. She was wearing the exact same bathing suit as last night and he let his eyes dance over it, admiring her.

"I didn't think you'd come here," he confessed.

"I thought perhaps you would be here," she retorted.

So much for being alone. He didn't want to turn her away, instead he nursed his glass of wine and said, "You want some?"

"No," she said.

He saw her wince and leaned in. "What's wrong?"

"It is nothing … I have a small blister. It must be from walking to the market and back."

"Huh, that's about ten miles total." He set his glass down. "Let me see it."

She awkwardly poked her foot out of the water. He hid a smile as she struggled to meet his literal request. He reached down and turned down the jets that were spraying them to get a better look at her foot through the water. He reached down and cradled her sole in his hands?

"I see it." He nudged a green flap of skin on her big toe as she squirmed in discomfort.

Archer was amazed at how long and narrow her feet were. They weren't large, but like the rest of her skinny and graceful. He tweaked a toe and was surprised at how gently it bent in his hand.

"Want me to get you a bandage?" he asked, fighting the urge to suckle one of her toes.

"No. It is unnecessary," she said. She noticed noises again coming from the other hot tub.

Archer was about to say something when she pressed her finger on his mouth, silencing his lips. She whispered, "Do you hear that?"

"Yes," he said softly, recognizing the faint cries of the couple in the next tub. These people must be the horniest couple in existence. He let out an embarrassed chuckle as T'Pol's eyes lit up. Her pupils registered amusement, as he put his hand over his mouth to stifle a deeper and heartier laugh. Suddenly the couple near them became more impassioned; Archer grunted a snicker as T'Pol added her hand around his mouth, afraid his laughter would rise into the night air.

"They seem eager," she whispered, with embarrassed amusement.

"Work it! Work it! Work it out!" said the woman next door in a yelp.

'What the …?' thought Archer, snickering into his hand.

T'Pol, losing some of her stoicism, raised both eyebrows, flung her eyes wide and let them gleam, as the couple's embrace became overheated and the noises bordered on ridiculous.

Archer was giddy; he desperately tried to keep from going into hysterics, as his body twitched and convulsed in spasms of laughter. And, he had no idea why he thought the whole thing was funny – hearing the couple's rutting noises and screaming, watching T'Pol's reaction or all of the above. 'All of the above,' he thought with whimsy.

There was no way for them to escape and give the young couple any grace. They were stranded there and forced to listen to every single noise.

"Oh, baby. I'm working it! I'm working it!" grunted the man next to them.

"Do you think they have worked it sufficiently?" T'Pol asked quietly, her eyes filled with bemusement.

Archer couldn't hold it back, and let a deep chuckle of laughter slice the air, followed with hoots of higher pitched laughter. Suddenly, he barely heard the two grunt in satisfaction, and disappointedly, Archer felt the fun of the moment leave. Equally regretfully, he felt something a little darker take its place – the desire to take T'Pol, possibly in the very same manner.

Larry, thought Archer, as he shot down the idea of wrapping the Vulcan in his arms, kissing her neck and nibbling on her pouty lips. Instead he stared at her with affection and desire, hoping that he wasn't being too obvious.

"You are quiet," she remarked. "You seemed merry a moment ago."

He polished off the wine in his glass and poured himself something else, hoping he didn't make an ass of himself; maybe if he was too drunk to do anything about it, he wouldn't be tempted to kiss her. He was about to say something when the two in the neighboring hot tub began to speak.

"You think anyone heard us?" asked the man, his voice distraught with longing.

The female said, "I don't care."

Archer moved to the opposite side of the tub, looking at the young couple as they kissed. Although the steam was significant, he could both clearly see the two were missing their swimsuits. In fact, Archer wondered whether they wore them in. This entire scene, having T'Pol's hand curled around his mouth, being nearly naked, warm and tipsy … they were all wreaking havoc on his self-control and sex drive.

T'Pol whispered, "Is it common for humanoids to find such public places to engage in sexual activities?"

He felt a giggle working itself to his mouth, but instead cleared his throat. "No."

"It looks and sounds like the same couple as last night. Do they not know we are here and less than a meter away?

"Sounds like they don't care."

"Curious," she remarked. "Would it embarrass you if I asked a … personal question?"

"Shoot," he said, taking a swig of his drink and feeling drunker.

"Have you engaged in such activities before in a place such as this?"

His face looked like it'd been slapped – red and shocked. Why would she ask such a question? "Not in a hot tub. Why'd you ask?"

"Have you wanted to try?" she asked.

"Have you?" he said with confusion. Was she coming onto him?

"Is that why you took me to his resort? I have noticed it is filled with couples. Massage, Jacuzzis … these seem to be intimate settings."

Archer let loose a laugh. "I didn't know, I swear. Do you think I've been making passes at you while we've been on the planet?"

"You did invite me to the massage and my first hot tub experience," she pondered.

Archer, feeling a little off kilter, decided to fess up. "I had no idea. The massage was incredibly embarrassing for me, to be honest. And as for the hot tub, couples typically don't do what our neighbors have been doing … at least not in public. And definitely not so noisily."

"The masseuse this morning indicated for someone trying to seduce me, you were very shy."

Oh, God – Lecherous Larry. "No, no … I'm not trying to seduce you." He paused. "What else did they say?"

"Something regarding your … anatomy."

He got the hint.

"They said the equivalent of how … virile you are."

"I get it," he said. "You said something back."

"They asked me whether it was true. I indicated I had not had the opportunity to ascertain that. "

His face dove into his hands, unable to look at her.

"You did agree with the doctor about my needing a vacation, and you specifically took me here."

Oh no. "No, T'Pol … I didn't take you here to …," he looked around, "get you into bed. I didn't know about the massage."

"We discussed my feelings for you last night. I know yours are similar," she suggested, moving closer to him.

Uh, uh. No way. He scooted away from her, looking like she was a temptress calling to him in her skimpy bathing suit, damp hair and full lips. She put her hand on his thigh and he felt his entire body jump at the feeling. She left it there, stroking the inside of his leg slightly.

"Dr. Phlox suggested I work this out with you," she stated.

Realization dawned on Archer, "Wait a second, he's the one who suggested this location."

"Perhaps he wanted us both to … work things out. It appears to me this is a couples resort."

Archer scratched his head. "They did look at us funny when we checked into two separate rooms."

"Have you seen the literature for this establishment?" she asked.

"I don't remember seeing anything about it being for couples only," he noted. He shook his head wearily. This vacation had taken one wrong turn after another.

Watching his expression she asked, "Are you disappointed?"

Lecherous Larry crept back into his head. Maybe this wasn't a fair comparison, T'Pol seemed interested in him; he wouldn't exactly be taking advantage of his command. However, when he got back to Enterprise, he'd have to have a long and thorough discussion with Phlox. He didn't appreciate being in this position … at all.

"No, I'm not disappointed," he admitted, timidly.

She kneaded his thigh and said, "I am certain Dr. Phlox noticed that you are not the only one who has been feeling … frustrated. And perhaps he gathered our feelings for each other, giving us this opportunity to … put things to bed so to speak."

"So to speak," he said, giving a pant. "I'm not the only one who's been frustrated? Who else has?" He ran a finger up her pointed ear.

She shivered. "I have," she said, petting the fur on his thigh.

Archer's hands cupped behind her head and dragged her lips to his. Their mouths opened, their tongues licked at each other's and they panted into the other's throat. Her hand drifted further up his inner thigh, touching the fabric of his trunks.

As their lips parted, Archer's chest heaved. T'Pol crawled into his lap, straddling him and kissed him deeper. He never imagined her to be so aggressive, but he liked it. She could, in her current position, tell he was excited; and having her in this position made him even more so. His mouth enveloped hers as he moaned into her throat as her fingers dug into his back. His lips darted feverishly down her neck and T'Pol saw the couple next to them watching, as his hand began to move up her waist.

She grabbed his fingers, holding them still, feeling his lips on her shoulders and working into her cleavage.

"Perhaps you should return to your abode," she said.

He looked up with confusion, his face flushed with arousal. "Huh?" he huffed.

T'Pol repeated the words, looking over him. Who was she talking to? He saw the couple in the neighboring tub head back for the resort as he smiled and let his lips wander on her shoulders and fingers fondle her strap.

T'Pol felt relieved – no one was around, but she noticed Archer was slightly reluctant to continue. She gathered he wanted to begin an interlude here, especially since no one was around, but was concerned about what she was thinking. She in particular wanted to continue; she'd thought about this moment since their first time bathing in the water.

"I want you," she encouraged, her tongue lapping at the nape of his neck. Her hand grabbed tenderly, but possessively, at his hair. Her body teased his as he let out a small hiss.

He placed a hand on her hip to steady her taunting and hoarsely said, "I want you, too."

---

Jon creaked his eye open and found almost all his limbs intertwined with those of his first officer. The sheets were tangled around them and he had worn out several muscles in his body. His head pounded from over imbibing and he felt sweaty.

He groaned and stretched his body out. He felt a little awkward as he tried to piece together the night before. He smirked thinking about the hot tub. That whole experience was incredibly sexy and only served to fuel the need to try the experience again, rather than simply satisfy their curiosity. They made it back to her room where they'd decided to try it a few more times. Jon scratched his head at the idea of making love to her in a public place. He usually had a lot more discretion than that; he knew T'Pol certainly did. What the heck had gotten into them?

Maybe he enjoyed it because it was so forbidden. Maybe he enjoyed it because the people in the neighboring tub had weaseled the idea into his head. Maybe he couldn't wait any longer to be with someone he cared so much about. As he kicked around why he'd done something so foolish, he saw T'Pol stir.

"Good morning," she said, staring into his deep green eyes.

He grinned, bashfully, "Hi."

"How do you feel?" she asked, coolly.

"Uhm, pretty good … except for a small headache. How about you? You okay?"

"Yes."

He thought for a moment about lecherous Larry and his women. Maybe that was the difference between Larry and Jon. Jon only wanted to hit on one woman, really. He'd had feelings for her for sometime and was overjoyed that he was allowed to express them. Maybe, just maybe, she felt the same way. That was the crux of the issue, no matter whether he was a senior officer or not … he was in love with her.

"Listen," he began, wondering how she felt about the last night. "I'm sorry for …."

She raised her eyebrow and interrupted, "I think last night …."

He hung his head to his chest, waiting to hear, 'was a mistake,' or 'was a travesty.'

"Was exhilarating," she announced.

His ears rang and a smile spread across his face. Relief. "It was," he agreed. "You were amazing." The thought of her speaking Vulcan in his ear, wrapping her legs around his waist and digging her nails into his back was incredibly steamy. He had small scratches and bruises all over his body … and it felt out of this world. He closed the gap between them and gave her a kiss.

"The masseuse was correct in her analysis," conveyed T'Pol. "You are quite virile."

His grin widened and he let out a sheepish chortle. He kissed her earlobe. "You must bring it out in me."

She raised an amused eyebrow and walked her fingers along his jaw line.

"You hungry?" he asked.

She nodded.

"Want to take a shower together and go eat?" he asked, nibbling on her ear.

"Again?" she asked, gathering he wanted to do more than bathe himself with her.

"I'm virile, remember."

When the two had gotten ready, they wandered down the hall, descended the stairs and strolled into the dining room. It was already almost lunchtime. The two crowded around a small table with a white tablecloth and exchanged smoldering glances.

"This is our last day together on vacation," suggested Jon, playing footsie with her under the table.

"Indeed. Do you feel relaxed?"

He laughed, "Definitely. How about you -- calm?"

"Very" she replied slipping out of her shoe and letting it glide up and down his leg.

"Seems like neither of us are … frustrated anymore," he commented, grinning to himself that her foot was rubbing against the hair on his calf.

"Indeed."

"Being more at ease, do you think you'll be able to control your emotions more successfully?" he asked, seriously. "I worry about you." Deep down he wondered if them being together was really helping or hurting her.

"Actually, you have helped," she said. "However, I may need further assistance in the future."

He stared up from his menu, smiling at the idea of furthering the relationship. "I'm glad to hear you say that … I want to keep seeing you. I know it's not exactly practical, and …."

"It seems we agree," she said, giving him the idea she was crazy about him, too.

He shrugged, teasingly, "Well, if you need me to continue to help you, I think I can; I'm a generous man."

"You have many generous attributes," she said. Her eyes twinkled as she suggestively delivered the last line.

He grinned timidly, "Are you sure you want to keep this up? I mean, I don't want to …."

"Be a lecherous Larry?" she asked. "I am certain. And you?"

He leaned toward her, setting the menu down. His hands intertwined with hers. "Are you kidding? I'm kind of upset we didn't do this sooner. I've been crazy about you for some time, T'Pol." He mustered up some gumption and said, "I've been falling in love with you a while."

"I certainly did not mean to drive you insane. But, to be fair, I did attempt to initiate this the day before yesterday."

He was completely smitten with her. A grin overtook his entire face and he said, "Yes, you did."

"I will be … happy … to report to Dr. Phlox that we successfully worked things out," she said. She let his fingers go and placed them back in her lap coyly.

He winked and leaned over about to try and touch his lips to hers, as he heard, "Hey, Cap'n."

Archer quickly straightened his spine. He'd recognize that voice anywhere.

"Trip," he noted with a smile, looking up at the blonde dressed in a Hawaiian shirt.

"I had no idea you guys were also staying here," commented Trip, holding hands with Hoshi.

Archer smiled as T'Pol said, "And I was unaware you were staying here. When did you arrive?"

"A few nights ago," mentioned Hoshi. "Phlox recommended this place to us. It's kinda weird, seems like this place is a couples only facility."

The captain faked a laugh. "Nah. Why would Phlox do that?"

The communications officer crossed her arms, suspiciously.

"What have you done on your stay?" asked Archer, trying to change the subject.

Trip grinned widely, "You know, the usual … read, watch movies and sit in the hot tub. You been in there yet?"

Archer nodded, "Yeah. Pretty great." He tried to keep from looking at T'Pol, who was burning a hole in him.

Trip leaned in as if to confide, "You won't believe this, but last night, as Hoshi and I were coming back from a late night walk, we could barely make out two people really going at it in there."

Panic tickled Archer's spine as T'Pol remained stoic. "You mean having sex?" she asked.

Trip nodded with embarrassment, "Wanna hear something funny? Hoshi swears that woman looked like you, T'Pol."

"How is that amusing?" asked T'Pol.

Trip chuckled, "I know, I know. I told her there's no way a Vulcan would do that."

She raised an eyebrow and said, "Actually, it was quite enjoyable."

Archer blurted a nervous laugh, as Trip began to grin. "You almost had me," he said, pointing to her.

Hoshi eyed the woman, wondering whether she meant it, but formed a smile all the same.

"We're about to have breakfast, care to join us?" Archer asked, watching his communications officer trying to determine if it was a joke.

Trip letting himself calm down from the laughter shook his head. "We're in the first group to head up to Enterprise. I still gotta pack."

Hoshi agreed, "Besides, it's more like lunchtime."

"Got a late start," remarked Archer, feeling T'Pol's foot rub against his leg again.

"Yeah, I'll miss getting up late and lazing around," declared Trip. "Well, see you back there tonight."

"Good bye, Commander, Ensign," mentioned T'Pol.

Archer waved. When they were out of hearing range, he gave a deep chuckle and chided, "T'Pol."

"I did not wish to lie to Commander Tucker and Ensign Sato," she responded. "It would be dishonest."

He said, "You know, we don't leave until 2300 hours tonight. We could … try that again, if you'd like."

"Are you trying to seduce me?" she asked.

"Absolutely," he answered back. "Besides, I'd like to pay homage to the place where you fell in love with me."

"I never indicated I was in love with you. Love is an emotion. I thought being with you was … logical," she said. "I find you attractive, enjoy your company and friendship and …."

He remarked, drinking his water, "Sounds like love to me. I just wish there was a Jacuzzi on Enterprise."

She let his comment about her slide. "There is a sauna in the women's locker room."

He shot back darkly, "There's one in the men's too."

"Maybe we could begin jogging late at night."

"Good idea."

"It would undoubtedly prevent us from becoming frustrated."

"Hmmmm …."

---

Back on Enterprise, Archer found himself smiling a lot the past few months. His trip to the planet was a smashing success. He'd felt better than he had in nearly three years, when he accepted the assignment as captain of the Enterprise. He looked at his watch – 0100 hours. He sauntered into the gym and saw his favorite Vulcan running on a treadmill.

He noticed no one was around and climbed on the treadmill beside her.

"What are you doing here at this time of night?" he asked, beginning to run in place next to her.

"Waiting until Crewman Ramirez leaves the women's locker room. Then hopefully, I can inspect the water pressure in that room.

"Pipes, again?" he asked.

"Yes – the sauna has been … frustrating."

"Frustrating, huh? Need my help?"

"Yes. I am not certain I will be able to work this out on my own," she said.

As the two ran in place, Ramirez filed out. She barely noticed the senior officers as she wearily trudged out the door. A few minutes after she left, T'Pol stopped her machine and said, "Would you care to join me?"

A smile came over Archer's face as he turned off the machine. He walked over to her and picked her up in his arms and said, "How long do you think we have, sweetheart?"

She whispered, "Gamma shift begins in approximately an hour. I would gather nearly thirty minutes."

He walked over to the door mechanism as T'Pol punched in her code, overriding the locks.

"Boy, busted pipes and door jams. This gym is a wreck," he commented.

"It was built by humans," she said, gathering his hand in hers and leading him into the ladies locker room.

"I thought you were in love with a human," he retorted, grinning. He began nuzzling her neck with his nose, gathering his hands around her as they walked forward.

"I have deep feelings for one in particular," she agreed, dragging him into the locker room. "It seems there are advantages in the species. For example, they are virile."

As the door closed behind him, he protested, "Hey, I thought it was just me."

On the other end of the door, Hoshi tried to get into the gym, but realized the doors weren't working. She put an annoyed hand on her hip and called Engineering.

"Engineering here, go ahead," said a sleepy Rostov.

"I can't get into the gym. Is there a problem with the doors?" she asked.

"That's funny, looks like there's a jam. Let me try to override it," he said.

Hoshi shifted the bag higher onto her shoulder and frowned. She'd been having trouble sleeping recently, mostly because Trip snored louder than the ship's nacelle engines ran. And, truth be told, she didn't sleep that well without him any more, so she decided an occasional late night visit to the gym was all she needed to put her out. She tapped her foot waiting for Michael to give her more information.

"I'm locked out," he said. "That's weird. I'll be right down."

"I don't want to bother you. It's really not that big of a deal," she mentioned.

"No worries. I couldn't tell Trip I'd let his girlfriend down." Hoshi was about to protest when he said, "Seriously, it shouldn't take long and I want to make sure it's fixed anyway for the gamma shift."

Hoshi felt a little guilty. "Well, if you need to anyway, I suppose I'm okay with that."

She hovered by the door when she thought she heard something. She always had sensitive hearing, which is what made her an exceptional communications officer. In fact, she thought she heard the captain's voice … or at least the captain was saying something.

She pressed the comm to find out who was in the gym. "Ensign Sato to the Gym."

No response.

"Ensign Sato to the Gym."

"Sub-commander T'Pol here, may I help you?" asked T'Pol, hoarsely.

"Sub-commander, the door's jammed. Crewmen Rostov is coming down to check it out …."

"He is? I see. Perhaps I can give you some assistance. T'Pol out."

Hoshi thought she sounded odd, with a tinge of panic in her voice at the news about Rostov. What was that hissing sound in the background? She shrugged as Michael walked to the door.

He smiled, "Heya. I'm kinda glad you called. It's pretty dull on beta shift."

Hoshi giggled, "Trip said it was a promotion for you."

He shrugged, "Feels like a demotion. Nothing ever happens. Backed up toilets and door jams are about 90 of my calls."

"At least you're the senior engineer on your shift. That indicates you're moving on up."

He countered, "I guess." He took a look at the door controls box, popping it open. "This should only take a second."

"Sub-commander T'Pol indicated she was there. Maybe she can give us a hand," asked Hoshi. Her thumb was about to press the comm again, when suddenly the door slid open.

T'Pol's hair was damp and she was perspiring lightly. "I was able to override the controls," she explained calmly.

Rostov narrowed his eyes, standing straighter at attention. "I'm sorry, ma'am, I tried to do that very thing from Engineering."

"Understandable. There was a problem with the locking unit that required an override and for me to manually disengage the mechanism," she explained.

"Yes, ma'am," he claimed. "Do you need anything else?"

"No, that is all. Thank you, crewman," she dismissed.

Rostov, looking bored, dawdled back to Engineering.

Hoshi hoisted her bag again and started to walk forward.

"Where are you going?" asked T'Pol.

"I need to change," explained Hoshi with her eyebrows furrowed. She plodded ahead as T'Pol walked swiftly by her side.

"I thought you would have changed in your quarters, Ensign Sato," commented T'Pol, loudly.

Hoshi turned around for a moment and shook her head. She placed her hand on the door control to the locker room, when T'Pol said, "Do not go in there."

Flummoxed, Hoshi asked, "Is that an order?"

"No," explained T'Pol, watching Hoshi flip the door open.

"You're acting pretty strangely."

T'Pol glanced around the room and didn't see the captain. She breathed a sigh of relief. "I am concerned that you are up this late. It is unusual for you," T'Pol commented.

"Actually, I do this about once a week."

"Always at 0100 hours?" she inquired.

"About then," said Hoshi.

T'Pol walked around the room, slyly looking in places she thought Archer would hide. The Japanese woman began to change.

"Why always at this time?"

Hoshi furrowed her brow, thinking the remark was personal. But, Hoshi was glad to have someone to talk with about it. "Trip snores."

"I see. Your relationship with him has reached a new level," commented the Vulcan, still checking the area. She noticed a bathroom stall door looked closed and wondered if he was hiding there.

"Yeah, I guess it started on the planet. It turns out we'd had feelings about each other for a while," claimed Hoshi. She finished changing and began to walk over to the restroom area, when T'Pol intercepted.

"It seems to have worked out well. And you have been dating ever since?" she stalled.

Hoshi furrowed her eyebrows. "Yeah – ever since. It's worked out great … except for the snoring. What are you doing here so late?"

"I occasionally work out at this time. Vulcans require less sleep."

"I thought I heard the captain's voice," commented Hoshi. "Is he here too?"

Suddenly a small noise, like a creak, came from the stall three doors down. Hoshi put her hands on her hips and said, "What was that? What's going on?"

T'Pol opened her mouth and decided to come clean, "You were correct about me in the Jacuzzi with the captain that night. We have entered a relationship and decided to meet here on a lark."

Hoshi's eyes flashed open and she got closer to the door T'Pol was afraid hid the captain. As the young woman pushed the door, T'Pol decided illogically to shut her eyes. When she didn't hear any screams, or really anything else, she decided to open them. The door was closed and she gathered Hoshi was using the restroom. T'Pol slunk around the room, trying to determine where Jonathan could be hiding.

Hoshi flushed the commode and walked out, complaining, "Very funny. Trip's been teasing me about it ever since we got back. I wish he'd let it go."

She washed her hands scowling. 'How did Trip manage to put T'Pol up to this?'

T'Pol looked stunned. She followed Hoshi out the door of the locker room. "It is true. We began a lurid affair on the planet. The resort was a couples-only hotel. And the captain and I have been dating ever since. I have deep feelings for the man and he …."

T'Pol noticed a figure running on the treadmill, and on further inspection realized it was the captain.

"Seems pretty busy in here tonight," he grinned.

"Just get here?" asked Hoshi, heading over to the bike.

"Not too long ago. So who is this guy you're supposedly dating, T'Pol?" he asked, smiling smugly. "The one you're in love with?"

Hoshi rolled her eyes, "Trip asked her to torment me. She claimed the two of you are having an affair. I wish sometimes, T'Pol, I didn't know you had a sense of humor."

T'Pol raised an eyebrow.

Jon continued to run. He winked clandestinely at his first officer. "No, Hoshi, it's 100 true. T'Pol and I are madly in love. Seems unfortunately we don't have a lot of free time to spend with each other, and for a change in pace we decided to meet in here … or rather the ladies' locker room to … recreate."

Hoshi furrowed her brows and eyed the captain. He wore a lopsided grin, which she thought was enough to give him away.

"Honestly, I'm never going to let Trip tell you guys anything anymore. I'm sorry I thought T'Pol was the one in the hot tub. I'm sorry for thinking maybe the two of you had something going on. And I'm really sorry for thinking the hotel was for couples. Now will you lay off? I'm kinda grumpy and a little tired."

Jon ran, looking at T'Pol with unabashed self-assuredness. "I understand Hoshi," he said. "It's okay. You don't need to apologize."

"You know what gave you away? The ladies' locker room thing; no way, even if you were dating T'Pol, she'd agree to that," grumbled Hoshi. "Well, the Cheshire grin you're wearing now, sir, also gave you away."

"Can't fool you. Well, I don't think this is going to help me sleep any," claimed Archer, stopping the machine. "T'Pol, since we're both up, want to debrief on that problem you've been nagging me about? That is, if you're done here."

"I believe I am finished, yes. Where would you like to continue that discussion?" she asked.

"My quarters?" he asked. He turned to Hoshi, "Unless you think it'll give people ideas?"

She rolled her eyes.

"Your quarters sounds adequate," remarked T'Pol.

He grinned. "Good, you ready?"

"Of course," commented T'Pol.

As they strolled down the hall and into his quarters, Archer laughed to himself.

"Jonathan," she admonished.

Jon grabbed her to him and commented verbatim, "I did not wish to lie to Ensign Sato. It would be dishonest."

His mouth worked down her throat. He wondered if he'd been caught by Rostov or Sato, what would've happened? Besides, being in the sauna wasn't nearly as much of a turn on as he thought it would be. Even before Hoshi had tried to come in, he felt nervous about someone catching them. And, he knew T'Pol was only doing it because she'd gathered the thought in a fantasy of his. But, she'd decided to try it since making love to him in the Jacuzzi was one of hers.

If he had been caught, undoubtedly he would've felt like Larry. Archer remembered opening the bathroom door at his commander's party, and seeing his friend Rachel and the commander; she was sitting in the sink and …. Instead of talking with his commander's superior, he watched Rachel get drunk a few weeks later when at another party, Larry was caught making out with Sarah, another cadet. Jon vowed he'd never let that happen to someone again, and secretly promised he'd never do it.

Gathering a thought from Archer as it fluttered by, T'Pol said, "You did not make advances on me first. I believe … I made them on you."

He grinned, "True enough."

"Did your commander, Larry, ever get caught?" she asked.

"No. Not as far as I know. I wish I'd reported him. I was naïve back then. I assumed one of the girls would eventually report him. But, I don't think they felt they could."

"It was not necessarily your responsibility to bring up, Jonathan," she claimed. "They could have told his superior. In fact, I remember you telling me you encouraged them to do so."

"That's true, too. Why are you asking about him now? You hearing a few of my stray thoughts?" he asked, wrapping his arms around her.

"You indicated there was an incident where you … accidentally walked in on him and a friend of yours … Rachel?"

"Yes," he frowned.

She grabbed his hand and said, "Would it upset you if you showed me what they were doing when you caught them. That particular thought is … arousing."

"Have I told you how happy I am in a lurid affair with you?" he asked, stripping out of his shirt.

Her mouth covered his as he walked her backward into the bathroom. As their feet padded against the tiled floor, she asked, "Does that mean during your next vacation you will fight, gamble and become completely intoxicated?"

"Just how many thoughts of mine can you read?" he asked, helping her discard her clothes.

"Enough to know that you are already feeling virile," she commented. "And need to relieve your frustrations."

"Guess we'll have to work it out," he said, lifting her onto the sink.

The End.