"I better go. Bye Tristan," she whispered those last few words as she clicked the phone off.
Tears slid down her cheeks while she tried carelessly to stop each stain they left on her cheeks. Why had she done that? She reasoned with herself as she gripped the phone, reminding herself that he would not and could not hear or know that she was crying. Guys weren't supposed to know that girls secretly melted at their touch and their words. They weren't supposed to know how much power their affection held over us. We were to appear the coy indifferent creatures that merely existed to charm and captivate their affections and still remain an incomprehensible enigma simultaneously. Reaching out for the box that would soon be empty from the abundance of salty pained and confused tears, she wiped them away to return to completing her assignments. As difficult as that was, she tried to go instant message her best friends for support and understanding for her useless crying.
T DuGrey007 (9:27:43 PM): I'm gonna miss you tomorrow Rory
T DuGrey007 (9:29:06 PM): it won't be that great since I'm not going to see you tomorrow
Reading messages similar to these, she sighed, hoping he would stop. He didn't know it was making her cry even more because even to her, these tears didn't make sense. But yet, the tears continued to flow freely despite the efforts she put in to stop them. She bit the inside of her cheek, causing blood as well as pain to seep out of the cut she had made. Closing her eyes, she heard the soft strains of a slow song that they had danced to just the weekend before. Giving into the pleasure of her memories of that night, she faintly sang along to the familiar words that always reminded her of him. His face, his smile, his hysterical laughing and his eyes that begged her own to have just one last kiss. Opening her eyes, she realized that most things around her did in fact remind her of every aspect of him that he had opened himself up to in the past few months.
T DuGrey007 (9:43:08 PM): I must've held that phone for 5 minutes after you hung up...
T DuGrey007 (9:43:14 PM): just listening to the static
T DuGrey007 (9:44:03 PM): because I didn't get to say goodbye to you
The familiar blinking at the bottom of her computer screen returned her to reality to be told that he had done the same things she had after hanging up. She wished she had known earlier of his plans for the next few days. She would have had the excuse to give him the last few kisses that she knew she wouldn't be able to have while he was gone. Tears sprang up again as he revealed to her what most typical guys would have kept to themselves. It was a role society expected of them, to keep all their personal thoughts and actions to themselves. But Tristan telling her that he desperately missed being able to part with her mutually only contributed to the sad tears that had been kept in for so many years.
T DuGrey007 (9:51:38 PM): you know I'll miss you Rory
T DuGrey007 (9:51:52 PM): and I wish I could kiss you again before I left
bibles mary (9:51:57 PM): please don't say that
T DuGrey007 (9:52:05 PM): why not?
T DuGrey007 (9:52:12 PM): it's true, I wish I could
bibles mary (9:53:05 PM): then why didn't you?
T DuGrey007 (9:53:18 PM): because, I didn't know that I was leaving
T DuGrey007 (9:53:34 PM): and I was annoyed that I had to take someone home
How ironic it was that she had thought those same exact words when she found out that he was leaving her for the weekend. How tempted she had been to kiss the sweet lips that gave her the purest joy from knowing the amount of happiness both of them felt for each other from this one simple thing. How disappointed she was that he had simply left without any sign of affection. How depressed she was for not risking it all for that one moment of euphoric bliss that she could have kept with her while he was away from her.
T DuGrey007 (10:03:41 PM): you haven't said goodbye back yet, so I can't leave just yet
bibles mary (10:03:57 PM): in that case, i'll have to take my time saying it
bibles mary (10:04:55 PM): i don't want you to leave me just yet
T DuGrey007 (10:05:08 PM): you're not the only one, Rory
T DuGrey007 (10:06:02 PM): it's too bad I can't say goodbye to you on the phone though, I miss your voice already!
T DuGrey007 (10:06:05 PM): hehe, I'm hopeless...
He didn't know he was the only hopeless one. Their relationship consisted of such extreme passions that caused more suffering from the distance between them and the ecstasy experienced simply from each others' company. They both knew the hopelessness of being apart. Until they were together again, neither would be fully content despite the circumstances. The thing is, they both knew that but both were too afraid to make the first move until enough time had passed to have raw emotions take over all reasonable thinking. However, sometimes, neither had enough time to wait for this to happen. She should have known all this earlier before she began to cry like a little girl, but it was hopeless. It really was. She couldn't help it. She was slowly but surely falling in love with the one guy she had been dreaming and longing for ever since her first crush. Love. It honestly is hopeless.
Tears slid down her cheeks while she tried carelessly to stop each stain they left on her cheeks. Why had she done that? She reasoned with herself as she gripped the phone, reminding herself that he would not and could not hear or know that she was crying. Guys weren't supposed to know that girls secretly melted at their touch and their words. They weren't supposed to know how much power their affection held over us. We were to appear the coy indifferent creatures that merely existed to charm and captivate their affections and still remain an incomprehensible enigma simultaneously. Reaching out for the box that would soon be empty from the abundance of salty pained and confused tears, she wiped them away to return to completing her assignments. As difficult as that was, she tried to go instant message her best friends for support and understanding for her useless crying.
T DuGrey007 (9:27:43 PM): I'm gonna miss you tomorrow Rory
T DuGrey007 (9:29:06 PM): it won't be that great since I'm not going to see you tomorrow
Reading messages similar to these, she sighed, hoping he would stop. He didn't know it was making her cry even more because even to her, these tears didn't make sense. But yet, the tears continued to flow freely despite the efforts she put in to stop them. She bit the inside of her cheek, causing blood as well as pain to seep out of the cut she had made. Closing her eyes, she heard the soft strains of a slow song that they had danced to just the weekend before. Giving into the pleasure of her memories of that night, she faintly sang along to the familiar words that always reminded her of him. His face, his smile, his hysterical laughing and his eyes that begged her own to have just one last kiss. Opening her eyes, she realized that most things around her did in fact remind her of every aspect of him that he had opened himself up to in the past few months.
T DuGrey007 (9:43:08 PM): I must've held that phone for 5 minutes after you hung up...
T DuGrey007 (9:43:14 PM): just listening to the static
T DuGrey007 (9:44:03 PM): because I didn't get to say goodbye to you
The familiar blinking at the bottom of her computer screen returned her to reality to be told that he had done the same things she had after hanging up. She wished she had known earlier of his plans for the next few days. She would have had the excuse to give him the last few kisses that she knew she wouldn't be able to have while he was gone. Tears sprang up again as he revealed to her what most typical guys would have kept to themselves. It was a role society expected of them, to keep all their personal thoughts and actions to themselves. But Tristan telling her that he desperately missed being able to part with her mutually only contributed to the sad tears that had been kept in for so many years.
T DuGrey007 (9:51:38 PM): you know I'll miss you Rory
T DuGrey007 (9:51:52 PM): and I wish I could kiss you again before I left
bibles mary (9:51:57 PM): please don't say that
T DuGrey007 (9:52:05 PM): why not?
T DuGrey007 (9:52:12 PM): it's true, I wish I could
bibles mary (9:53:05 PM): then why didn't you?
T DuGrey007 (9:53:18 PM): because, I didn't know that I was leaving
T DuGrey007 (9:53:34 PM): and I was annoyed that I had to take someone home
How ironic it was that she had thought those same exact words when she found out that he was leaving her for the weekend. How tempted she had been to kiss the sweet lips that gave her the purest joy from knowing the amount of happiness both of them felt for each other from this one simple thing. How disappointed she was that he had simply left without any sign of affection. How depressed she was for not risking it all for that one moment of euphoric bliss that she could have kept with her while he was away from her.
T DuGrey007 (10:03:41 PM): you haven't said goodbye back yet, so I can't leave just yet
bibles mary (10:03:57 PM): in that case, i'll have to take my time saying it
bibles mary (10:04:55 PM): i don't want you to leave me just yet
T DuGrey007 (10:05:08 PM): you're not the only one, Rory
T DuGrey007 (10:06:02 PM): it's too bad I can't say goodbye to you on the phone though, I miss your voice already!
T DuGrey007 (10:06:05 PM): hehe, I'm hopeless...
He didn't know he was the only hopeless one. Their relationship consisted of such extreme passions that caused more suffering from the distance between them and the ecstasy experienced simply from each others' company. They both knew the hopelessness of being apart. Until they were together again, neither would be fully content despite the circumstances. The thing is, they both knew that but both were too afraid to make the first move until enough time had passed to have raw emotions take over all reasonable thinking. However, sometimes, neither had enough time to wait for this to happen. She should have known all this earlier before she began to cry like a little girl, but it was hopeless. It really was. She couldn't help it. She was slowly but surely falling in love with the one guy she had been dreaming and longing for ever since her first crush. Love. It honestly is hopeless.