Title: Yours Again
Rating: M
Harry Potter x Draco Malfoy
Disclaimer: Harry Potter isn't mine. I'm making no money from this.
Summary: When Draco is raped by a Harry look alike will they be able to mend the life that has been shattered?
Warnings: Pre-existing relationship, non-con, mentions of self harm, angst, bottom!Draco and one-shot.
Author's Note: I've decided to try this one shot. I know it's not any of the ones requested but I was lying on my bed watching Tv and suddenly the plot just popped into my head. So I'm giving it a try. We'll see how it turns out since I'm writing this before I start the story. Lol
The day was hot, humid and sticky and Draco wanted nothing more than to lay down in the middle of this large king sized bed half naked with Harry's new muggle air conditioning system going full blast. Harry was currently at work, well, he was always at work these days. The death eaters from the war hadn't given their activities a rest and the auror department had been on full alert for three months now. At the beginning Draco had been upset about this. Harry started to spend more time at work and a lot less time at home. He would leave before Draco woke up and wouldn't get back home until Draco was fast asleep. Even more irritating was the fact that Harry would crawl into bed after 2am smelling of liquor because he and The Weasley would go out and mull over their cases after they had been dismissed from work. Draco didn't mind so much that Harry worked late, what he minded however, was that Harry didn't come straight home after work to be with him. He preferred to go out with Ron and do more work. Needless to say this left Draco feeling quite neglected.
So that day, when he felt kisses being peppered across his lips and cheeks he couldn't help but smile. No one else dared to touch him in such a manner except for Harry. It didn't fully register to him that it was the middle of the day and Harry should be at work. He was just so pleased to have a bit of attention being paid to him that he instantly kissed back the insistent lips. He cooed softly and parted his lips willingly when a warm searching tongue prodded against the seam of his mouth. He opened his eyes slightly to see the shock of thick black hair that he enjoyed threading his fingers through and heavily hooded emerald eyes looking back at him. He let his eyes slowly droop closed and opened his mouth a little wider to allow that deft tongue to go deeper into his heated mouth.
It was then it struck him. The taste, it was different. The kiss wasn't the same. Harry was never this timid with him. In fact from the point when they had gotten together late in the Sixth year there had always been a strange passion between them. Their sex had always been borderline angry. There would be biting, nipping, scratching and a merciless pounding issued from Harry to Draco as though he was trying to get revenge for all those years of torment Draco inflicted on him and his friends. But no matter how rough their sex was their hearts were always sincere in the love that they felt for each other. Harry would murmur how much he loved him against his lips as he pinned him down and pressed his tongue deep into the back of Draco's throat in the wholly possessive manner that he so enjoyed. He would taste of spice, mint and butterbeer simply because it was a habit he couldn't break from their time at Hogwarts. But there would always be that underlying taste that would be distinctly Harry's. It could never be emulated or imitated. No matter how dazed his mind got he would always just know.
And in a sickening heart sinking moment he realized that taste was very off. It was nothing like the one he was use to. He pushed against the muscular chest that felt exactly like Harry's under his fingertips and whimpered softly as he tried to wiggle away from the contact above him. "Harry?" He questioned turning his head away looking up at the face with a frown. It did look like Harry. It smelled like him, the cologne was exactly the same. 'Harry' looked back at him with a questioning frown and brushed his thumb down the side of Draco's lips. For a moment he felt stupid. Of course it was Harry. Who else would it be? The same green eyes, the same slightly tanned skin, the same muscular chest and strong arms he loved being held against and that big mop of thick, black shaggy hair that he always harped on to Harry about getting it chopped off but loved to delve his fingers into it while they fucked. He guessed that Harry knew of Draco's guilty pleasure because no matter how much he nagged him about getting a hair cut in order to keep his dirty secret, Harry would merely smile, press a kiss to Draco's nose and walk out of the room shaking his head. Of course this was Harry. Gosh, he was such an idiot sometimes.
He tilted his head back slightly, lifting his lips in invitation and sighed softly when that soft mouth pressed against his. But then there it was again. That niggling feeling in his gut that told him something wasn't right. His stomach rolled, making him feel ill and then when that tongue pressed against his mouth again he felt his gut lurch and he swiftly turned his head away. "W-wait.. s-stop." He said, but 'Harry' ignored him and pressed those bite less kisses along the side of his neck making his skin break out in chill bumps. But it wasn't the good kind. Not the kind that he would get when Harry came up behind him while he was in the shower and pressed up against him allowing his thick member to slip between Draco's slick arse cheeks and rub against his puckered waiting entrance. It was nothing like that. It was the kind of bumps someone got while they were throwing up and their body suddenly felt too cold. They would shiver and cling to themselves as they wavered on their feet in weakness. He couldn't take it anymore. Something was simply not right. It always felt right with Harry. Always.
"Wait, stop, Harry. Get off!" He shoved at the unmoving chest but suddenly he felt his arms being pinned over his head and held there tightly. "Harry. I said stop it, something doesn't feel right. I think I'm coming down with something. Har-!" His words were cut off by a rough bruising kiss. Not dominantly loving, but harsh and controlling making the insides of his lips rub hard against his teeth; hard enough to draw blood. He tried to keep his mouth closed when that nasty tongue tried to force itself between but a hard bite that drew blood on his bottom lip made him gasp. It was then the tongue found its way back into his mouth making him gag around it.
His body twisted wildly as he tried to wiggle free of the strong grasp. "Harry, this isn't funny anymore you're scaring me!" He said hating the way the fear made his voice shake. He shouldn't be afraid. This was Harry. He would never hurt him in a way Draco didn't want. But he was scared, he was terrified and he felt helpless because if he didn't like something and he told Harry to stop he always stopped right at that moment. But he wasn't stopping. He pressed his knee hard into Draco's in thigh making him cry out as his muscle ached beneath the hard knee. He felt close to crying now. A stifled sob escaped his throat and he felt stupid because this was Harry, his ex-enemy, his lover, his friend, his confidant trying to make love to him and he was crying like a baby for Merlin knew what. He turned his head away again still struggling to wriggle himself free. He felt the hot breath against his ear and the words that made his insides go completely cold mouthed against the shell of his ear. "Your precious Harry can't help you now."
'No..no.. no! It wasn't possible. That wasn't Harry's voice.' He fought harder then. He didn't care if the nails dug into his skin as he tried to pull his wrist free from the strong grasp. The voice chuckled against his cheek but Draco wasn't having it. He knew for sure now that this wasn't Harry and he knew he had to get away. He would fight, he didn't know what this person wanted but so help him Merlin and Mordred he would fight until he got himself free or until he couldn't anymore. With that decision made his head snapped up and slammed hard against the man's nose. He immediately heard the yell of pain and felt the hot liquid dripping down against his face. The strong smell of copper told him that it was blood. 'Good.' He wasted no time after that. He wedged his foot in between their bodies and kicked out hard sending the man flying off the bottom of the bed. He scrambled on to his knees and jumped over the form on the floor bolting quickly for the bedroom door. But his hands only reached the knob and before he could turn it the man grabbed his hair and used his prized blond locks to yank Draco's head back and then slam his head hard against the door.
He gasped out, he couldn't believe it but the felt the hot blood running down the middle of his face as a gash opened up in the middle of his head and his legs crumbled beneath him. As he slowly regained consciousness he realized that he was being dragged back to the bed by his hair. He reached up and started viciously clawing at that man's hand trying to get him to let go. He heard it dimly at first. But when his head cleared he heard himself screaming and he couldn't believe that sound of sheer terror could come from him. The man picked him up by his hair, and Draco damned himself for being so light with such fine bones, and used the back of his silk pajama pants to throw Draco to the middle of the bed. He tried to scramble away the moment he hit the mattress but he only got half his body off the bed before he was grabbed by his ankle and dragged across the sheet. Then the man was on him again, hitting him hard in the face repeatedly. He felt himself going faint. He was drowning in the darkness that threatened to completely consume him and all he could think was that he was going to be murdered and that Harry would have to come home and find him dead. He had lost so much already, Draco couldn't bare making Harry find him like this. The war had scarred his lover and this- this would destroy him. So he reached his arms up weeks and scratched at the man's face that resembled his lover's. He had to keep telling himself that it wasn't Harry every time he scratched at him and heard the grunts of pain when Draco's fingernails dug into flesh and drew blood.
But the idea of clawing his way free was gone when he saw the elbow coming down hard. He only had time to close his eyes tightly and the impact knocked him out.
He came to slowly at first and then everything came crashing down hard when he felt a searing pain in his back. He groaned, shaking his head from side to side but to no avail. The pain remained, moving slowly inside of him, thrusting, prodding - "NO!" He screamed out starting to fight again because he realized exactly where the pain was coming from and why. His throat seized up. He couldn't hold back the sobs anymore. In fact he screamed. He never thought he could scream like that. His throat hurt, and he opened his eyes to realize that he was being fucked. The face imprinted in his mind and instantly the pain tripled. 'Harry.. why..' The two words echoed in his mind as his brain tumbled the name over and over in his head. He was being fucked, raped, assaulted, molested, and violated and Merlin in hurt. The thick member inside of him was being eased by a slickness that he was sure was blood. The smell of copper hung thicker in the air. He could feel the tearing in his rectum that only got worse with each movement.
Then he went numb. He couldn't feel anything and suddenly he wasn't in his body anymore. He was floating above two people looking down at them. A blond who looked just like him was screaming. Just screaming. The tears were gone and all there was was a guttural cry. Then there was another man. Thick black hair, holding the blond down as he moved inside of him. The movements became jerky and frantic after a while and Draco felt himself being yanked back down into his body in time to feel a thick rush of sticky liquid inside of him. He retched again, but this time the vomit came up right unto the man's arm. The last thought he had before he faded into painless blackness was.. 'Harry..'.
"Just let me grab the files off my nightstand and I'll be right there, 'kay Ron?" He really should be home to stay but he had been going over this case in his head and he felt like he might have cracked it. He and Ron were intending on going to the Three Broomsticks to gab some drinks while they dug deeper into the theories Harry had developed.
"Yeah, mate. Just hurry a'right. I actually wanna get home to 'Moine before sunrise." This had become a habit of theirs and while Draco thus far had suffered Harry's neglect in barely understanding silence, the ever outspoken Hermoine Granger didn't let Ron off so easily. He wanted to get home before she came and found him and dragged his arse there by his hair.
"Yeah, yeah I know. It'll be quick I promise. I should probably follow your example. I haven't been spending much time with Drake lately. He's bound to be annoyed by that." Harry said walking up the stairs toward him and Draco's shared bedroom.
"Is there anything that git isn't annoyed by?" Some things of course just never changed.
Harry rolled his eyes but didn't reply. All he needed was the case file for the Death Eater attacks outside rural muggle London and he might be able to pin down where LeStrange was hiding out. "I'll be down in a few." He called back to Ron. He wasn't expecting Draco to be at home because it was Thursday night and every Thursday night at 8Pm he would leave to go have dinner at the manor with his mother who was considerable lonely after the death of Draco's father coupled with Draco moving in with Harry. So, with a sigh he opened the door and flicked on the bedroom light and the sight before him made him feel like the world had fell away beneath his feet.
"D-Draco.." The word came out in a stunned breathless whisper because while he had seen a lot of death and mayhem- this- this was just too much for his brain to process. There in a tangle of bloodied sheets lay Draco beaten beyond recognition. If it weren't for the shock of blond hair atop his head Harry would have never- "Oh god.. Draco.." His feet propelled him forward; he stumbled and then ran to the bed. "Draco- no- no- no-no! Please, god no.." He tore the sheet away and felt sick to his stomach. He pulled Draco toward him and right into his waiting lap and he knelt on the bed. Oh god, he was so cold. So very cold and pale. Draco had always been unusually fair. So much so that in certain parts of his body one could see the actual veins running beneath his alabaster skin. But that coldness and that paleness made Harry's heart ache. He looked so dead. He was limp in Harry's arms and he didn't know when he had started sobbing but suddenly there was a distant, muffled crying sound reaching his ear and he realized he had brought Draco's limp body tightly against his and was crying into his blood streaked hair.
It was the soft puff of air against his ear that brought Harry back to his senses. "Dray- Draco.. you're a live.." He cupped Draco's swollen face and willed him to open his eyes but there was only a soft gurgle into back of Draco's throat. "Ron!" He called loudly. "RON! Firecall St. Mungo's Draco- Draco's been attacked, please.. please.." He grabbed Draco up holding him bridal style as he stumbled off the bed and nearly vomited when a clump of blood and a creamy pearlescent substance fell from- from- "God.. no.." But he couldn't stop right then. He could feel Draco slowly slipping away from him and he had no idea how long his lover had been like this for. While he was at work- neglecting him- not bothering to come home to him. If he had been here..
"Oh Merlin 'arry. What the hell.." Was all Ron could say when he saw Harry with the bare naked, beaten form of Draco in his arms. But he had done as told and Firecalled St. Mungo's. He never questioned Harry's requests and vise versa. They had been partners and best friends long enough to know not to hesitate when it came to things like this.
Harry's mind at shut down after they flooed to the hospital. He felt someone taking Draco from his arms and Ron guiding him to a seat asking him questions that didn't- or couldn't answer. He stared blankly in front of him remembering the pale dead look on Draco's face.
The first thing Draco noted when he became conscious again was that the pain was still there. It was dull though. His mind was quickly working through what happened and his breath caught when his brain fully pieced together the events. He felt someone gripping his hand tightly calling his name. "Oh thank god, Draco- come on baby, open your eyes."
Harry.. He struggled to lift his too heavy eye lids and look to where that beautiful voice was coming from. The image was unfocused at first and then it became clear. Black hair, green eyes, tanned skin- 'Oh Merlin..' and he screamed. He yanked his hand back and scrambled away as fast and as far as he could with a wall pressing against his back. He didn't even know how he reached from the bed to sitting on the floor in the corner of the room shaking and screaming. "Get away! Get away from me. Help, help, someone help, please- please!" His hands covered his face as he wept into them. The pain triggered in his mind and he retched over and over but his stomach was full of nothing but bile. "Draco- Draco calm down, it's me. Its Harry.."
"No, no! Get away, please, stop, please!" He kept jerking violently every time Harry touched him. The nurse came in and ushered a teary eyed Harry away from Draco's curled body and pressed a needled into Draco's pale skin. He flinched and whimpered and his cries slowly ebbed away. An orderly lifted Draco on to the bed and the nurse came forward brushing his hair away from his face. He kept murmuring under his breath. "Get away, get away, keep him away, please, please.."
"Keep who away, Draco? Can you tell me what happened to you? How are you feeling?"
Questions, so many questions all at once. "Harry.." He said in a soft whimpering voice.
Harry came forward quickly. "I'm right here Draco.." But stared in shock when Draco's eyes met his and the slender male violently recoiled away from him.
The murmurings became more persistent. "Keep him away, keep him away!"
"Why Draco? What's wrong? Why do you want me to keep Mr. Potter away?"
"Please.. please.. raped- he raped me.. hurt me..Keep- keep him away!" Draco was shaking again as Harry looked on his shock. The denial was instantly on his lips. He would never do that. Never, why would Draco think that he would do something like that. If it were any one else the moment the accusation fell from Draco's lips Harry would have been arrested. But he was Harry bleeding Potter. The Savior of the Wizarding world, the Boy who lived, The Boy Who Wouldn't Die, the Golden Boy. Whatever you wanted to call him and that was the only reason the aurors ordered to guard Draco's room hadn't tackled Harry to the ground and slapped some handcuffs on him.
The nurse continued. "Harry Potter raped you, Mr. Malfoy?" The nurse asked, sounding condescendingly skeptical.
Draco shook his head and relief filled the room. "No- no.. Harry.." He said sounding frustrated. He could tell the difference between the two, Harry, the man who raped him and Harry Potter the man who loved him but seeing him was altogether to terrifying. The face he use to love once now scared him relentlessly.
"Did Mr. Potter rape you Mr. Malfoy?" He kept saying Harry, but she had to be sure before they allowed anyone to arrest their precious savior for sullying the son of a former death eater. After all they were known for their sneaky and elaborate plots. This could very well be a ruse to get revenge on Harry.
"No!" Draco snapped. "H-he looked like Harry. It wasn't Harry. I know it wasn't Harry. It didn't taste like him. It didn't feel like him- he raped me- oh Merlin he raped me.." Draco then dissolved into garbled sobbing repeating it like a mantra. "He raped me, he raped me, he raped me.." Each time making Harry's heart burn as the realization at what had taken place set in. He wanted to hold Draco, to comfort him but how could he when the male kept flinching away and rightfully so Harry now realized. Draco had been raped by someone who looked like him. But- how?
Because the real Harry wasn't there.
"Oh.. god.." He ran to the bathroom adjacent to Draco's room and vomited up the coffee and half a tuna sandwich Ron and Hermoine had forced done his throat a while before. He clutched the toilet bowl for dear life as he emptied the contents of his stomach.
Meanwhile back in the room the nurse was trying to calm a now hysterical Draco without having to use anymore drugs. He whimpered softly and fell back into unconsciousness a few moments after, leaving everyone in the room to mull over the revelation.
When Draco woke once again, Harry was no where to be seen but what he did see was the a head of bushy brown hair and kind brown eyes to match as Hemroine hovered over his bed, keeping vigil in place of Harry. She said nothing and neither did he. They merely remained there for a few minutes in total silence staring at each other. One with a gaze full of pity and the other searchingly and a bit scared, He didn't want to close his eyes again. He kept seeing that face hovering over him.
'Take my cock you filthy whore. Take it, take it you slut..'
He visibly shivered and Hermione briefly touched his hand. It would be a long journey to healing and they both knew it.
After a few weeks in the hospital Draco was finally allowed to go home. Harry had made himself very scarce. He never visited while Draco was awake knowing his reaction to him would be none too pleasant. The aurors had been running overtime searching for the man who had assaulted Draco. That was what everyone was calling it. An assault. They were especially careful around Harry and had even taken to calling it 'The incident' because of how delicate the situation was. They didn't determine much. Only that whoever it was used a simple Polyjuice potion to gain Harry's identity and used that to come through the wards to Grimmauld place. Besides that there was nothing. They didn't know the man's true identity and none of them could rest easy until this man was caught and locked away. Draco barely slept any more. With this man on the loose he kept having crippling nightmares where at time he would wake up to find himself soaking in his own urine.
He felt like a helpless child, a fool and a weakling. He kept blaming himself, thinking that maybe him he had just fought to start with- or maybe if he had fought a little harder- or maybe- or maybe- or maybe..
So, now it was back to Grimmauld place which left Harry and Draco in quite the predicament. He had left it to Hermoine and Ron to bring Draco home from the hospital and in a rare moment of cleverness Harry got an idea.
Hermoine came through the fire place first, then Draco and then Ron behind him. Draco warily looked around as though this was the very first time he had ever been there. There were still light bruises marring his skin, he looked thin with his cheeks a bit hollow and dark circles beneath his eyes from lack of sleep. But he was home, no matter how scary that prospect was.
"Draco?"
Draco took a quick step back at the sound of Harry's voice bumping right into the run and not caring how skittish he looked in front of the red head. He knew after the sound of Harry's voice the next step would be seeing him and while the voice didn't scare him, the thought of what came next did.
But Harry never appeared. Instead Draco felt a gentle stroke on his hand that sent a familiar comforting shiver up his spine as Harry grasped his fingers. "I'm here, Dray. I'm right here.."
"Harry..?" Draco said with his voice between a mixture of awe and fright.
"I'm right here, underneath my invisibility cloak so you don't have to see me until you're ready."
Relief coursed through Draco with such intensity that he trembled. Harry - his sweet Harry. He reached his shaking hand out only to have Harry's invisible one hold on to his tightly and slowly pull the slender male into a tentative hug.
Draco flinched at the feeling of muscles against his body but the absence of the face made it easier for him to stand there a few moments to have Harry hug him before quickly pulling away and wrapping his own arms around his shivering form. Harry felt a bit better after the short hug and noticed how quiet Ron and Hermoine were. They had been rather speechless all throughout the ordeal. Neither, for once, knew what they should or could say.
"Thank you guys for bringing him.." Harry said even though they both couldn't see him.
"No problem." Hermoine responded while the ever emotionally competent Ron merely smiled uneasily and nodded before they both left.
"Feel better, Malfoy.." Ron murmured before hurrying through the floo after Hermoine, leaving Draco and Harry alone.
Neither really knew what to do or say after they were left alone. They stood there in awkward silence a couple of minutes before Harry broke it. "D-do you want to take a rest? Maybe get some sleep?"
Draco nodded stiffly and then took a few steps toward the staircase, not quite sure of Harry's current position.
"I'm by the railing.." Harry said helpfully. He noisily walked up the stairs ahead of Draco so the male could follow his lead. Draco did so, albeit very slowly. The moment he stepped into the hallway and spotted the bedroom door the memories assaulted him.
Your precious Harry can't help you now..
His stomach turned and he began to shake. But then a door opened, and he realized it wasn't the one to the master suite but it was a door to a previously unoccupied guest room. Another relief, he wouldn't have to sleep in there tonight. After he walked into the room he sat on the edge of the bed and the awkward silence began again.
"I-I'll leave you to let you get some sleep.." Harry said softly. What else could he do? What could he say? He was never good with words and he couldn't hold Draco without him tensing up and backing away. He felt so helpless- so useless. He walked out of the room and closed the door quietly behind him leaving Draco in the solitude Harry assumed he wanted.
Draco crawled up to the middle of the bed that was a bit smaller than the one he- he gulped. He wouldn't think about that. But the moment the closed his eyes and his conscious mind couldn't control anything anymore, the images came back.
The dream was dark, bleak, bloody and full of screaming that spilled over into the real world. He felt someone shaking him and he lashed out. Quite pleased with himself when he felt his fist make contact with a nose and elicited a satisfying crunch. Maybe this time he could get away. Maybe this time he could get free before the man ripped him apart and tainted his life forever. But the voice breaking through the thick fog of sleep was all too familiar. "Harry?" He said softly, blinking his eyes open and his gaze landed upon thin air.
"Har.."
"I'm right here.." Harry touched Draco's hand softly. "It was just a dream. I'm right here. Its okay.."
Draco swallowed and shivered slightly before nodding and pulling the blanket close around him. For some reason he always felt naked even when he was clothed. He always felt so dirty, so used, so disgusting no matter how many times he scrubbed his skin clean inside and out.
"I-I'll go back to sleep now.." He said his voice barely even a whisper. He was surprised harry even heard. But he felt the invisible dip where Harry had sat, rise and heard the footsteps slowly departing. "Harry?" The footsteps stopped. "C-can you stay with me- please?"
"Of course, Draco.." Harry said softly and crawled into the bed with him, keeping the cloak firmly wrapped around his body in order to keep him from being seen. Draco curled up on one side of the bed and Harry went to sleep on the other side.
Three weeks passed since Draco had been home and no progress had been made. Much to Harry's fright he had walked in on Draco a few times using a fork to dig into the flesh of his wrist. When Harry asked him what he was doing he tearfully responded that he was trying to make the pain go away. This became a regular occurrence. So much so, Harry started to become even more worried. Sometimes, Draco would sit down under the shower with the water running so hot that it would scald his skin and leave the usually pale expanse of flesh a violent red hours after Draco's shower. He would just sit there on the floor under the blazing hot stream and let it beat against his flesh. Sometimes he would scrub himself raw until every inch of his body shone an angry red. Once he cleaned himself out so vigorously that it felt the rim of his anus torn and bleeding. He didn't have any intentions of stopping when he saw the blood mixing with the water and making it pink. He just kept going deeper saying he was trying to get out the filth. Harry stopped him and they both held each other on the bathroom floor and cried for hours.
Things took a turn after that. It got better after it had gotten much, much worse. Draco began opening up a bit more. He wasn't so withdrawn and focused on cleaning himself though sometimes Harry would find him in the bathroom scrubbing his mouth with a toothbrush covered in a thick glob of toothpaste. But things weren't so extreme anymore, there wasn't any blood and hardly any tears and it finally felt like Draco was healing.
That was until Harry went down stairs to make breakfast before Draco woke up and had taken his cloak of and hung it up on the chair in the kitchen so he could function properly. Draco walked into the kitchen, saw him, ran off and locked himself in the bathroom.
Harry went after him, afraid that he would do something horrible to himself. He leaned against the bathroom door gently tapping it. "Drake, open the door."
"No! Go away, go away, go away, please, please don't hurt me. Please.."
"Draco ple-"
"NO!" Draco brought his legs tight up to his chest and rocked back and fort. "Draco.. Its Harry.. please.. Draco, open the door. Please.." Harry was crying then. His voice was hitching with each word because he couldn't stomach Draco being so afraid of him. He couldn't take that Draco couldn't stand the sight of him. He understood why, but by god, the reason didn't make it hurt any less. "Please let me in. I promise I would never hurt you. Never. You know me Draco. You know I love you. It's still me, Harry, not matter what I look like. Thick headed, won't ever get a hair cut because I know you secretly love my hair, horrible clothes wearing and witless Harry. Please.. please.. let me in.."
There was only silence on the other end of the door and Harry feared the worse. He had never been so relieved to hear the click of a door unlocking in his entire life. The door slowly eased open and Harry stepped in. Draco had his eyes closed and he was shaking again, but at least he wasn't screaming and running away like before.
He raised a gentle hand on Draco's smooth cheek and brushed his thumb across the plain of his high cheekbone. That was the touch he knew. Harry never touch his lips like that, not with his hands, only ever with his own lips.
Draco stiffened for a moment and then leaned into the touch against his face. He mustered up all he could and very slowly opened his eyes. "Harry.." He said softly, paying no attention to the tears being brushed away by Harry's thumb.
"I'm here.. 'M always here.." He stepped closer, letting his body stand a mere inch away from Draco's. So close that they were now sharing each other's heat. They could smell each other's scent. Harry had stopped wearing his usual cologne because it seemed to make Draco even more uneasy around him.
Draco took a step closer to Harry instead of away. His pelvis pushed against Harry's, edging him back against the hard wood of the door. In the same movement, Draco's fingers wrapped around one of Harry's wrists as if to prevent himself from fleeing or Harry from striking out. Harry wondered which, but the question dissipated when Draco's warm breath returned, and this time his lips followed, pressing against Harry's feather-lightly. Harry wanted so much to just deepen that kiss and take Draco hard against the door but he needed to let Draco set the pace. He needed to let him do what was comfortable.
He couldn't resist not moving for long his free hand reached up and curled in the material of Draco's T-shirt, clenching until his knuckles ached, determined not to let go until he had fully explored this new development. Draco seemed not to mind. He demonstrated his approval by increasing the pressure of his lips, and then nudging Harry's open with his tongue. Harry opened wide and let him in. Draco paused, pulled back and looked up at Harry wide eyed.
Several seconds after Draco swallowed thickly and moved his lips and tongue against Harry's once again. His tongue dipped slowly between Harry's lips, slowly tasting, almost afraid of what he would find there. Relief shuddered through him as he pressed his tongue deeper tasting the flavor that he should have in the first place.
'My Harry.'
Draco thought with a near fainting sense of relief.
They broke the kiss, slowly, hesitantly- it had been so long since they had any kind of physical contact. Sometimes Draco would allow Harry to hold him while they slept, but only if he kept the cloak on. A few times during sleep the cloak had managed to slip off and Draco would wake up only to gaze into Harry's face and have a total and complete melt down. No matter how many times he tried to convince himself not to relate Harry's image with the rape, he couldn't. The trauma of the event was imbedded in his mind right along with his lover's image. He knew this man was still out there and that scared him. He knew that if he had gotten to Draco once before, he could most likely do it again. The fact that he could walk around looking like Harry, someone he was supposed to trust with his life and safety was not the most reassuring thing in the world. Between them they had a secret code. One that Harry would have to say every time he came home from work. It changed every day and Harry would whisper it into Draco's ear before he left every morning.
It was the only way to stop Draco's panic attack s every time Harry came into the house.
"Hey."
The next day Draco was leaning against the counter in the kitchen when he heard the voice behind him. He spun around instantly and stiffened. His eyes were wide as he looked at Harry standing in front of him. His heart was racing, his gut twisting and he could feel the beginnings of trembles racking his body. 'Say it, say it- please say it. Please be Harry. Please...'
"I'll always catch the snitch before you.." he said softly.
Relief coursed through him and he narrowed his eyes at Harry. "You couldn't think of something else?" He asked accusingly. With the tension slowly draining away Harry smiled and walked toward him. He touched Draco's arms making the pale male shiver slightly and then moved it a little closer when Draco didn't flinch away.
He leaned down; keeping his eyes planted on Draco's face and kissed the corner of his mouth softly. "Well, it is a fact after all."
"We were in school with a lot of distractions. I bet I could kick your butt now." Draco said leaning against Harry. He had been afraid, but Merlin he missed this. He missed being able to run into his arms, be held and kiss Harry as much as he wanted to. Now every time he saw the other male he would become crippled by fear. He never wanted to go through such an ordeal again and every time Harry walked into the room he would be afraid that it wasn't really him. Harry pressed a kiss to Draco's temple but didn't reply.
Draco was the first to break the silence. "I'm tired of being scared all the time, Harry.."
"I know, love. I know. We're all working really hard to find the person who did that to you. We'll find him. I promise you, if it's the last thing I do I'll find him and make sure you don't have to be afraid anymore."
Draco buried his face against Harry's neck and sighed softly. "I love you.." He said softly, it had been so long since they used those words with each other. They had been far too busy tip toeing around each other, Harry afraid of upsetting Draco and Draco just afraid all the time.
Harry's hold on him tightened slightly. "I love you too, Dray. So much."
And he knew Harry meant it. It would have to be love for Harry to put up with all his freak outs. It would have been simpler to merely end their relationship, but no, Harry stuck beside him. Slowly eased him back into tentative comfort and hoped for the day when things would go back to normal.
A crash came from the living room and Draco flinched. He clung to the back to Harry's throat tightly and looked toward the noise.
"Sorry!" It was only Ron. Thank Merlin.
Harry looked at Draco apologetically and slowly, albeit reluctantly, released him from their embrace.
Ron came running into the kitchen. "We found him."
Draco was stunned. Could it be? Was he talking about- no- it wasn't possible. It seemed so anticlimactic. There was no violent duel; there was no dramatic chase across the world. After raping Draco he would expect something like that. Not just this sudden sense of closure.
"They- they found him?" Harry asked because he couldn't believe it either.
"Yeah, Hemione found a way to trace what little magical signature was left. We tracked it an abandoned warehouse just outside Surrey and there he was- just asleep behind a crate with two other Death Eaters."
"Death Eaters? Are you saying that Death Eaters organized Draco's rape? Why?"
"Well, we don't know yet. We just hauled him in for questioning but I thought that you guys would want to know right away. Harry, you're not going to believe this but-" He paused and glanced at Draco who had gone understandably pale. Ron lowered his voice slightly. "It was- LeStrange.."
"Lestrange?"
Ron nodded. "My guess is that he did it to throw you off. You were close to finding him Harry. He needed away to distract.."
"He did this because of me?" The guilt in Harry's tone was clear.
"No, Harry. He did it because he was desperate. Don't blame yourself."
"How can I not? He.." He was cut off by Draco burying his face into his chest and shuddering violently against him. It had been so long. So long living in fear he wasn't sure if he knew how to not be afraid anymore. He had thought that the moment he heard that the man who raped him was locked away all the fear would go away and all the deeply embedded mental wounds would heal. But he was only partially right. He knew now he wouldn't be able to block out the memories but he would have to deal with them as best as he could.
"I'll get going back to the station. Harry, you don't need to come. We'll deal with it." Ron gave him a pointed look. He knew Harry would want to look into the face of the man who destroyed the love of his life but right then he needed to stay with Draco.
They spent the entire day curled up on the couch just holding each other. Neither of them could find the words. When Harry announced that he was going to bed Draco told him that he would like to be alone for a little while so Harry went ahead without him.
Harry laid awake in his bed for an hour before Draco cast a shadow over the bed from the doorway.
Draco swallowed thickly. His throat felt dry and he was nervous as hell. He had been thinking for a while now. Maybe it was time to take a step forward, maybe it was finally time to put everything behind them and shut down his fears. He needed to take that next gut clenching step towards healing and he needed Harry to help him do so.
Deciding to keep things subtle at first, he would start off slow so he wouldn't scare the crap out of himself. He crawled up on to the bed in nothing but his boxers and snuggled up to Harry from behind. A thrill coursed through him at their close proximity. They hadn't had contact with such little clothes on in such a long time. He reached under Harry's shirt. The heat emanating from Harry's toned abdomen warmed his clammy, shaky hand. The skin felt so hot and smooth under his finger tips. He felt the hard muscle spasm under his finger tips as he lightly traced his fingers up the middle of Harry's six pack.
"Draco.." Harry remarked softly. He didn't know what was happening. But he was surprised at how Draco was coming on to him. Harry hadn't attempted to be sexual with Draco since the incident and Draco hadn't initiated anything. Harry wanted to wait until Draco was ready. He didn't want to do anything to fuck it up, so he made sure and kept himself from turning around. Draco would look at his face when he was ready.
Draco didn't answer to Harry's call of his name. Instead, he began laying butterfly kisses on Harry's tense neck and along his bare shoulder. Draco's fingertips slowly explored the line of course hair leading down from Harry's belly button to the waistband of his pajama bottoms.
Draco snuggled up closer, until he was sure the other man could feel his erection pressing into the small of his back. He needed Harry to know that he wanted this. He wasn't forcing himself; it had been so long since Draco could become aroused at the mere idea of sex. But tonight, he wanted this. He wanted it so badly. He wanted to reward Harry for his patience and he wanted Harry to remind what sex was supposed to be like. What their sex was supposed to be like. He kissed Harry's neck again, this time leaving small wet spots along the curve from his shoulder to the back of Harry's ear. He took a deep stabilizing breath and slipped his fingertips under Harry's waistband.
Harry gasped. God, it had been so long since anyone touched him like this. Draco was the only one he had ever made love to and the only person he would ever allow himself to have sex with. So when they had their unofficial break from sex, he hadn't looked for physical pleasure from anyone else.
He took the edge of Harry's ear between his teeth, biting and then soothing the aggravated skin with deft flicks of his tongue. He slid his fingertips further beneath Harry's waistband until he felt the velvety skin of Harry's very erect cock. It had been so long that all it took right now was a few touches and a couple nips to get Harry hard and leaking.
Draco wrapped his hand around Harry's thick cock eliciting a gasp of stunned pleasure from the other male when he squeezed slightly.
He slid his thumb over the tip of Harry's cock. It was slick, wet, hot and throbbing. He could just imagine the blush of arousal on the very thick tip of Harry's member and it made his mouth water. How he longed to feel it rubbing against his tongue, giving him the taste that he had missed so much. Suddenly a strong hand grabbed his wrist, pulled his hand out of Harry's pajamas, and pinned it to next to Draco's head. Harry reached for Draco's other hand and Draco didn't fight him. Soon both Draco's hands were above his being held in one of Harry's and firmly pinned against the pillow. Harry was on top of him now, his tongue slipping deep inside Draco's mouth and their erections were being rubbed together teasingly slow. Draco gasped into Harry's mouth getting flashes of his rape. He twisted his wrists in Harry's hand slightly and the tight hold that held them pinned immediately loosened. He wasn't sure if Harry had any idea how comforting that was to him. The kiss slowed, paused a little and then Draco tipped his head back inviting Harry to continue.
They kissed for a while. Harry was letting Draco taste him, because he remembered how Draco had told the difference the day he had gotten raped. It was the taste of him that Draco knew so well. It was that taste that was keeping Draco on the edge of sanity. Then Harry's hands were tugging on Draco's clothes, pulling what little he had on off. The rape kept coming back to him but it was hard to focus. Harry's mouth was hot and domineering. It kept distracting him from the flashes of violence that kept trying to break through the fog of arousal. But Harry's kisses proved to be an excellent distraction. That mouth made Draco's legs spread of their own accord inviting Harry between them. Harry wasted no time fitting himself into that beautiful pale expanse of soft skin. Draco pulled one of his hands free and Harry allowed him to do so. He then wedged it between their bodies and slipped it underneath Harry's waistband once again. The soft material was sticky with precome, and Harry's cock was thicker and harder than before. Draco had a sudden craving for that salty fluid that was being wasted on the undeserving cloth of Harry's pajama bottoms.
"P-put your cock in my mouth," he said suddenly.
Harry was shocked. "What? You mean you want to—?" It wasn't as though Draco hadn't given Harry regular blow jobs. In fact it was a natural part of their sexual activities. It was just he didn't expect Draco to want to. Not after-
But it was obvious that this was something that Draco wanted because as Harry was beginning to get over his shock he realized that Draco had already begun to untie the drawstring of Harry's pajama bottoms. When Harry tried to climb off him, Draco held him in place by the hips. Harry looked at him with a slight frown thinking that maybe Draco had changed his mind.
"Stay- stay on top of me. I want you to do it from on top of me." He needed to let Harry take control. He needed to trust him again.
Harry looked even more shocked. They had never tried it that way before, but he moved up Draco's body until his cock was in front of Draco's face and pressing that slick hot head against Draco's waiting lips. Draco parted his soft, plush lips and darted out his tongue to taste Harry. For a moment he just licked the beads of precome off the tip of Harry's member. He licked the underside of Harry's member and sucked the slightly loose flesh around the tip of Harry's cock into his mouth. He took the head between his lips lightly sucking the fluid from the weeping slit of Harry's thick member and then he cupped Harry's arse with both bands and pulled him forward and into his mouth just a little. He did it slowly, until he could feel Harry's cock pressing on to the back of his throat and his lips were wrapped around the base of his shaft. He was shocked at himself. He was shocked that he was able to do this without completely loosing him marbles and it took effort to keep his mind on the present and not on the past, but Harry's shuddering breaths made it easy to concentrate on the task at hand.
"Oh fuck, Draco.." Harry whispered. His hips jerked slightly as though it was beyond his control to keep them from canting forward. He tried to control his thrusting at first because he knew this was a delicate situation. Both mentally and physically, but when he saw that not only did Draco not seem to mind and that he seemed to thrive on Harry's actions, he grew a little bolder and plunged deeper, pressing his cock a little further down Draco's throat. Draco moaned around Harry's member as precome dribbled on to his tongue and down his waiting throat. Harry started to move faster into Draco's mouth, he began to literally fuck his mouth in nearly the same manner he would to Draco's arse. Having that thick leaking member sliding fast, back and forth against his tongue and hitting the back of his throat made Draco forget about everything else. It was just them. Him and Harry making love. Only the two of them alone in the entire world.
Harry's sighs, as he started to reach toward his climax, were driving Draco towards the brink of his own orgasm. The tingling pressure in the pit of Draco's groin was becoming unbearable. He reached down with one shaky hand and gripped his own weeping cock. He moaned around Harry's cock of sparks of pleasure shot through his own body. He slid his hand up and down his own shaft spreading the leaking precome down his own member. Not a full minute of vigorous stroking passed before he came hard, moaning in ecstasy around Harry's throbbing cock.
Harry let out a strangled, guttural cry as he grabbed a fistful of Draco's fine blond hair and buried his cock deeper inside of Draco's mouth. His cock twitched violently as his entire body shuddered above the open mouth as he shot his seed straight down Draco's waiting throat.
"Oh god.. oh- fffuck.. oh..Draco.. fucking hell.." He shuddered as Draco licked his cock clean sending after shocks shooting through Harry's body. He pulled back slowly, letting his cock slip from Draco's lips with an erotically wet pop.
Draco sighed softly, licking the sides of his mouth clean. There was no turning back now. That was the ultimate test for him. He gave up all of his control and he got through it. Harry didn't hurt him. He didn't cry and he wasn't scared anymore. He wanted Harry to take him completely. To bring him back and heal all his open wounds.
"God, Draco.." Harry said in awe as he leaned down and licked the sides of Draco's mouth helping clean off the remainder of creamy white liquid that remained there. He kissed his bruised pink mouth and plunge his tongue between Draco's parted lips tasting himself in the depths of Draco's mouth. "Love you, love you so much." He said over and over between kisses.
Draco ran his hands up and down Harry's muscular back, sinking his fingers into the dip running down the middle of Harry's back and held on to him for all it was worth. They kissed deeply, passionately, wantonly and with desperation. After a while he felt Harry's hard member pressing against his inner thigh and he smiled against Harry's mouth.
He delved his fingers into Harry's thick hair and murmured against his lips. "Fuck me, Harry. Please fuck me. Fuck me as hard as you can. Make me yours again.." He bit Harry's bottom lip and tugged on it slightly before licking the irritated flesh. "Want you.. need you.."
"Anything baby. Anything you want." Harry said as he reached for a small bottle on the nightstand and poured some oil onto his palm as he dove back in to capture Draco's waiting mouth once again. This, this was the moment of truth. He remembered how much it hurt when-
Draco drew a shuddering breath and closed his eyes.
"You're shaking," Harry said softly, pulling away from the kiss to look down at Draco's face. He brushed Draco's hair away from his face and pressed gentle kisses over his mouth.
"I-I'm scared." Draco said softly. "What if- what if I can't. What if it hurts again.. Harry.."
"It won't hurt. I promise I'll take care of you baby. I promise. Just trust me. Look at me.."
Draco slowly opened his eyes and looked up at Harry. He gasped softly. Those eyes weren't like before. It wasn't the same. He realized that now. The eyes before were cold and harsh but Harry's eyes burned with such intensity, with such passion. There was fire and love and want and need behind Harry's eyes. This, this was his Harry. This was the Harry he knew, wanted, loved and trusted. Draco ran his fingers across Harry's face and nodded. "I trust you." He said softly. "I trust you."
Harry pressed his mouth against Draco's and kissed him with passionate fervor. His tongue slipped between Draco's slips and caressed every corner of the blonde's mouth while Harry's finger slipped down between Draco's legs. Draco tangled his fingers into his Harry's hair and then gasped when he felt a fingertip slip into him. His hips canted up making more of Harry's finger slip down into his puckered entrance. He moaned in the back of his throat taking gasping breaths as he moved his hips against Harry's finger slowly fucking himself on it. "Yesss..." he said breathlessly. He angled his head back and parted his lips moaning as Harry pressed his finger against that spot inside of him that sent pleasure through his body like a heated lightning bolt. "Nnnngggghh..Harry.. right there.." But Harry already knew without being told because his entire body jerked hard and he moaned out so sweetly.
Draco relaxed his muscles and only shuddered in pleasure as a second slick finger entered him. He could feel Harry's cock digging into his thigh and he felt out thick and hot it was. Draco shivered in anticipation knowing that soon that thick member would be inside of him. Fucking him, claiming him and making him cry out with want. Three fingers, then four were inside of him stretching his tight hole making him whimper for more. He wanted it deeper and harder. He wanted Harry's cock inside of him.
A moment later, he got exactly what he wanted, because then Harry's hard cock was entering him, spreading a sweet burning fire from his arse throughout the rest of his pliant body and all the way into his fingertips and toes. "Ooooooh...guh.." Draco whimpered against Harry's throat as the male became fully sheathed inside of him. His body twitched beneath Harry's as his entrance remained stretched around the thick cock buried inside of him. Harry waited until Draco became accustomed to having him inside as they kisses. Tongues battling and hearts hammering away in their chests. When Draco began needily moving his hips Harry began to move.
He started off uncharacteristically slow and Draco wouldn't have it. "N-no, do it hard. Fuck me hard, Harry, please."
Without missing a beat Harry began pounding into Draco's rectum. Draco moaned and wrapped his legs tight around Harry's waist pulling the male deeper inside of him as Harry fucked him raw. He slammed hard against Draco's prostate with each hard thrust making the blond breathless with each one.
Harry was breathing raggedly above him, flushed and covered in beads of sweat that dripped down the bridge of his nose as he mercilessly fucked Draco into the mattress. The moans above him and that hard relentless thrusting against his prostate was Draco's undoing. The tears flowed down the side of his cheeks as he tilted his head back allowing an unrestrained, sobbing moan to escape his mouth as he came. He was so happy. His heart swelled in his chest as his cock spurted rope after rope of creamy come on to his and Harry's chests. He got smeared between them as Harry fucked him through his orgasm and beyond.
Harry bit down hard into Draco's shoulder and he gave a few last punishing thrusts sending bolts of dry pleasure through Draco's body. Then Harry grunted, tensed and filled Draco's arse with hot jets of his creamy come with a muffled moan against Draco's shoulder.
They came down slowly from their highs and Harry gently pulled his cock from Draco's battered entrance and dropped down beside him. He pulled Draco into his arms and nuzzled the smaller male's neck. Draco contently snuggled against Harry's body with a content sigh. They held each other like that for a while. Thankful that they reached to this point after everything had been so viciously broken apart. Draco knew he still had a long way to go with certain parts of his healing. But he was happy to be at this point and he was happy in the knowledge that Harry, his Harry would be by his side keeping him safe. "Harry?"
"Mmmn?"
"I love you.."
Harry's arms tightened around Draco. "I love you too, Draco. Forever and always through thick and thin, I love you."
"You better." Draco smiled against Harry's chest and that tugging of lips that showed his happiness didn't seem to foreign now.
Well, wow. That turned out better than I thought it would.
Tell me what you guys think.
For those of you reading my other story 'When Harry Met..' I'll be updating that soon. Maybe within the next few days. But tell me what you think of this one too. My first ever one shot.
Read & Review.
Yours,
V.V